Dear Journal,

Since I was a boy, the features of my face had always been feminine-like. Everyone in my neighbourhood knew me as "flower boy" because I was handsome, yet pretty at the same time. Seungcheol invented that nickname. I like it because of the meaning back then. It was positive and it complimented me.

Going back, Yes. I denied myself. I believed that it was just normal to be "happy" as I percieved it, when your bestfriend is around. Im straight as and I believed that, but when Seungcheol is around, especially at home I would get conscious of him. Before I didnt care, I can be trash and garbage as hell infront of him. But it changed then, Im no longer the same. Questioned myself once again after that one night in Seungcheol's house.

I was sleeping over to do our chemistry homework together. Although we were im different classes, Seungcheol and I pretty much had the same homework because we had the same teacher, just different times. He got out of shower, half and it was the first time I saw his frame after the weird things happening with me. I looked away, my face flushed in red and it warmed up so ing fast. Seungcheol even asked what was up with me. I told him something caught my eye. I couldnt really tell him "GET DRESSED, YOUR HALF BODY MADE ME BLUSH AND GIDDY AS ."

After we finished doing homework, Seungcheol killed the lights and we had our usual talk in the dark. It became our hobby to talk to each