CHAPTER 22 [The Melancholy of Falling In Love]

Jeonghan could feel it.

He was completely and obviously feeling it even when his eyes were closed and he felt too sleepy to open them. There were pairs of eyes watching him just as there was a very familiar presence beside him, waiting for him to wake up. He groaned before he tried to force his eyes to open, which required a lot of effort as they felt too heavy at the moment.

He barely slept, like only two hours the most, but he knew he had to get up because, yeah, his children were more important now than sleep.

“Appa,” Seulgi called. She sounded upset first thing in the morning and that was just so unusual it made his eyes open in an instant. He found her protectively standing by his bed, but her eyes were glaring at something, or rather someone, by the door. He followed her gaze and a surprised gasp escaped his mouth.

Jesus ing Christ!

Standing by the door frame was his ex-husband. Not only that, he was carrying little Wonwoo in his arms, and the kid’s smile was so bright it was enough to lighten up the whole town at night. They looked like a perfect example of a good-looking father and son in a cover of family-oriented catalogues and leaflets.

Seungcheol though, he seemed awkward and nervous as he tried to smile at their daughter whose rage in her eyes seemed to grow more and more intense in every second.

“What are you all doing here?” he managed to ask in a hoarse voice, disgruntled and confused due to the unwanted combination of lack of sleep, confusion, and shock. He sat up and motioned the little girl to sit beside him. “Seulgi, why do you look like you’re ready to murder your Dad, hmm?”

When the kid only replied with a loud “Hmph!” crankily while scowling at her dad, Jeonghan turned to face the other adult, his eyebrows forming a straight line. “Seungcheol, did something happen while I was asleep?”

The other’s face turned pink and his eyes shifted down as if something interesting was happening on the floor. Weird. Something definitely did happen while I was sleeping. “Well?”

“Daddy said we’ll go to the mall today!” Wonwoo cheerfully announced, arms flailing sideways in glee his heart beat gone wild for a second in thoughts of him falling down. But thank heavens Seungcheol was holding him steadily and firmly. “You, me, Daddy, and Seulgi!”

His eyebrow raised a hundred mile. Something was not right. He looked at Seungcheol and muttered, “But—”

He heard yet another loud “Hmph!” from their daughter.

Seungcheol sighed, resignation and guilt was written all over his face. “I overheard these two talking about wanting new toys and books, so I asked them if I could take you all to the mall today. But…” he sighed once more, eyes filled with remorse as he looked at their daughter. “I already talked to them and apologized about what they witnessed yesterday. Wonwoo forgave me, but Seulgi—”

“—I hate you!” Seulgi screamed, tears starting to fill her tiny eyes. Jeonghan knew better than to push the topic further, as the kid would just throw tantrums the whole day if she ever got upset. He quietly asked Seungcheol to leave and take Wonwoo with him. The other hesitated for a bit, but still left quietly. When the door finally closed, he cupped the little kid’s cheeks with his hands and kissed the tip of her nose.

“My baby bear, you used to stubbornly ask me where your Daddy was before, right? Now that you’ve finally met him, why are you trying to push him away?”

The kid pouted and mumbled, “Because he hurt you!”

“He was just…” Damn. Why does it have to be so hard to explain to a child? “…surprised because of what I told him.”

“Why?”

“He wanted to know something, so I told him but it made him angry.”

“And it’s okay?”

His brows furrowed. “It’s okay to what?”

Her innocent eyes stared at him, desperate for an answer. “That he hurt you.”

Jeonghan immediately shook his head. Kids her age tend to question a lot of things, endless questions of why and why not, and as a responsible parent, he must make sure that whatever he’s going to say would be helpful for her development as a good person.

“Of course it is not okay. But you see, adults do things like that sometimes in order to fix something. I know you won’t understand it for now, but your Daddy already apologized to us, right?” Seulgi nodded. “See? That means your Daddy loves you, so you should be nice to him,” he encouraged.

Seulgi went silent, seemingly trying to absorb what he just said.

How I wish it’s this easy to forgive someone…

***

Seungcheol must admit: he wasn’t really expecting he’d be a dad so soon. Well, he had already expected before, but then it turned out not to be true. When Jeonghan left, it didn’t occur to him that it was possible for the other to carry their babies – for real. Not that he regret having the twins – hell, no. The thought of having them gave him overwhelming feelings he couldn’t begin to describe. But one thing’s for sure – he already love them so much despite knowing about them for just a short period of time.

When he learned about them, his initial reaction was anger, and that’s just understandable on his part, right? Being deprived of something so special, something that may change the course of his life, was just so cruel. Too cruel that no matter what he do or no matter how much money he spend, the time lost that he should have been there for them won’t be back. How could Jeonghan deny him a chance to know his children? He had not seen them grew up – he wasn’t there when they were cryi