It's a hot day in June and Jessica is busy tending the garden.

Why did he have to send those?, she asked herself. She was determined not to come to the soiree.

Yeah, I have no reason to come. I was a princess, but I am not anymore, she told herself.

That night will be the Millennial celebration of Seoul. Multitudes of carriages had already passed by their province going to Seoul Palace, carrying in them nobles and royals.

Jessica heard some rustles behind the bushes. She pretended not to noticed and she quickly got the pocket knife hidden in her shoe.

A man leaped from the bushes behind Jessica and Jessica turned to face him with the pocket knife in her hand.

"You scared me!", the man backed a few steps as he sees her pointing the knife at him. Jessica is surprise to see him, too.

"Donghae?", Jessica asked, and hides the knife away.
"Annyeong!", Donghae greets her with a wave of his hand and a wide grin.

Still the same old Donghae, Jessica shakes her head.

Jessica sits on a protruded root of a tree while Donghae lays on the grass under the shade just a few feet from her and seems to be asleep.

She noticed how he has grown. Two years made him aged. His skin got tan and his chubby face is leaner and is showing his jaw line and makes him more masculine.

I wasn't able to thank you yet for saving my life, Jessica said to herself.
No one should know about that, including me. Am I right?, she told herself and instead of thanking him, it will be a secret that she will keep to her grave.

Donghae props up from his sleeping position to a sitting position.
"Yah!", he said.
"What is the reason you are not coming to the party?", Donghae asked. Jessica is not giving any good reason at all.
"Kkeunyang (Just that)", she replied.
"What? What?", Donghae asked back. He just cannot understand.
Jessica shrug her shoulders.

A carriage stops a few meters away from them and the horse rider ask them for water.
Jessica stood up. A lady from the carriage opens the window and shouts at them.
"Yah! Hurry up. Give him the water!", the lady said.

Jessica started to walk to the carriage but Donghae holds her arm to stop her. He goes to the carriage and stops in front of it.
"Yah!", Donghae said to the lady. The lady was surprised and the other girls in the carriage looks out to see him.
"You cannot order us around, you are disrespectful with your words and you are only a guest", Hae said.

Jessica came behind him and tugs his arm to stop him.
"Donghae", Jessica said.
"Gwenchanha", she added.
"I'll go get some water", Jessica said to the lady but Jessica stops and looks at the other lady inside the carriage.
"Tiffany", Jessica recognized her.
Inside the carriage is one of her friends in the royal school, one of the members of SNSD, the group of royals and daughters of nobles.

Tiffany couldn't believe her eyes. The lady outside the carriage is wearing a plain shabby dress, and her hair is not fixed. When ladies are supposed to wear gloves, Jessica only has her bare hands to show.

Everyone knows how King Heechul had sent his sisters to another province. It was a political move for him, to prevent Jessica from joining in politics as his rival in the throne. Jessica at the moment looks like a house helper rather than a princess.

"Let's just continue on and get water somewhere else", Tiffany said to her sister without giving a second glance at Jessica.

"Tiffany?", Jessica asked softly.
Donghae watched the color on Jessica's face faded. She is beyond words. The friend she knew did not acknowledge her existence and moved on like she did not know her. They had spent a long time together at the royal school. The carriage left and Jessica hoped Tiffany would at least look through the window and looks at her, but it did not happen.

"Why are you like that?", Donghae asked her.
Jessica is still is utter disbelief with what her friend did, or who she thought as her friend.
"Jessica, what did you do to yourself?", Donghae asked again. This time, Jessica heard him.
"I don't understand your question", Jessica walks back to the shade.
"How can you let others treat you this way?", Donghae just knew of Jessica's situation. He had fought in war defending his country from attackers and it has been almost two years before they won victory. He came to Cheongdam to see her himself and the news is true. However, what he cannot grasp is what Jessica has become less of herself.

"Now I know why", Donghae said. Jessica looks at him.
"You are a coward and you think you can escape your blood destiny by staying here?", Donghae is mad. Jessica's hand hits Donghae in the face.
"Who are you?", she asked.
"You don't know me", she said. Blood rose to her cheeks.
"Don't you dare call me a coward and think that you know what I've been through, because you don't", Jessica's voice is controlled but she is gritting her teeth already from anger.
"If you are not a coward, then I would expect you to show up at the party", Donghae said, while touching his face.
"That is if you have the courage to go", he said and left.

Jessica's chest is rising up and down so fast. Her heart is beating rapidly and her face is flushing.

"What do you know? You don't know a thing about me", she wipes the tear that escaped her eyes.

Yes, she wants to forget that she's a royal, that she is a princess and that she is the daughter of the former King and Queen. By staying in Cheongdam, at least for even a minute, she could forget that she is the reason for her mother's death. She still has not forgiven herself for it.

Mianhe for saying that, Donghae said as he mount his horse and left.

But you have to reclaim yourself, Donghae thought to himself.

Jessica takes a deep breath. Two years doesn't seem that long, but it seemed like a world separate from her now. She feels nervous as the palace guard opens the door to the banquet hall to lead her in.

Krystal pleads her to go. If not for her younger sister, even Donghae's dare will not push her to attend the ball.

"Please do this for me, eonnie", Krystal talks to her. Krystal is right. Her younger sister shall not lose her place in the palace.

The door opens and flood of memories came through her. The times her family was complete. She can hear their laughters together, her father, mother, with her older brother and Krystal. She is caught unguarded with the emotions she's feeling and her feet took a step back.

I can't do this, Jessica shakes her head and turns around.

"No turning back now", Donghae just came from nowhere. He takes her arm to link with his.

"Let me go!", Jessica hiss softly.

"Everyone is watching", Donghae whispers and Jessica can see the guests are looking at them.

"You're unbelievably despicable", Jessica said and walks forward. Donghae smiles to himself. Lifting her chin up, she let Donghae walk her down the staircase.

Everyone's eyes are glued on them. Prince Donghae is so charming on his tuxedo which shows his built, wide shoulders that any woman would want to lean unto. His hair is brushed to the side, and his brooding eyes would melt women's hearts. He smiles as they walk down the aisle, a captivating smile that makes the men in room filled with envy for the women are looking at him dreamily.

Jessica walks as the princess that she is, poised and elegant with her head held high. She looks every bit of a princess with her white gown that fits in her bodice, that flows down to her long legs. It is her mother's gown. Jessica did some alterations on it, with Krystal' help, since she doesn't want to wear the red gown given by Donghae. Her hair is in big curls and is let loose, bouncing in her shoulders as she walks, that soft hair that girls envy.

The ball continued and after Jessica gave a curtsy to the King, she excused herself. She walks to a different room of the palace. The room of portraits where every former King and Queen's paintings have been hang on the wall. The painting in her father's room before. He and the Queen's happy portrait.

"Appa (father), eomma (mother). I'm here", Jessica said.

"Chalmotthaesseo (It's my fault)", Jessica cried as she touched her mother's face.

"Forgive me, mom", Jessica sobs by herself.

It would have been better if it was me who died, she said to herself.

You should have been here, with Soo Jung. Eomma, if not for me, you would still be alive, Jessica continues to blame herself.

Jessica is showing her younger sister that she is strong and that they can overcome all difficulties as long as they are together. But since her mother's death, she had lost a part of her that she did not realize that she did. She thought how bad of a decision it was to stay in the palace, and that cost her mother's life. She kept on blaming herself. She lost the confidence to be able to fulfill the role as a royalty, so she accepted being sent to Cheongdam. It was a punishment she gave to herself. As much as she like to hide away from being a royalty because she doesn't think she should be one anymore, she will never escape from what is in her every core. She is a royalty and she is a princess, and she is the daughter of King John and Queen Jane.

Kibum had ben following the princess and told Donghae what had happened. Donghae now understands. When he had saved Jessica at the dungeon, Jessica kept mumbling on asking for forgiveness.

Why do you have to that to yourself?, Donghae ask as he took a deep breath.

Jessica is at a distance as she watched her friends group with themselves. She can't help but feel sad and accept the reality that when power and popularity is involved, it is so difficult to find a true and loyal friend. Yoona smiled at her, one of the members of her previous circle of friends but did not dare approach her, or she maybe outcasted from the group.

Jessica sighs. Her father is right. Choose your friends wisely. True ones are like diamonds and hard to find. Once you found it, keep it and cherish it. When you are at your lowest, real friends stay and will never leave.

At least now I know who are the people I can trust, Jessica said to herself.

After speaking to other royalties, Jessica is left to herself and is feeling uncomfortable already with her shoes.

"You're here", Donghae approach her bringing two glasses of wine.

"Get lost", Jessica said. She's mad when she is and she's not hiding it.

"Please listen. I really am sorry for what I said this morning", Donghae said.

Jessica looks at him, weighing his sincerity.

"Apology accepted", she responds and takes the glass from his hand. Donghae smiles and taps her head.

"Aisshh. Chinja", Jessica gets annoyed.

"Mian. Mian", Donghae said while laughing.

"Let's get fresh air outside", he suggested and Jessica nods.

"I can't wait to take off my shoes", she said.

King Heechul watched as the two went out of the door. A smug look is on his face. He has halted the engagement of Jessica and Donghae after their father's death. Jessica's wedding to a prince of another country would be a big threat to his ruleship, and he cannot let that happen. That would give his younger sister the power that could overthrow him.

Donghae places his arms on her waist. The night is silent. While music is playing loudly inside Seoul Palace, in the garden, the soft breeze of the wind can be heard while it gently sways the leaves of the trees and crickets and other sounds of insects filled the air.

Donghae slowly turns around in a slow dance and humming a song to the tune of 'Love me the same'. Jessica relaxes herself and place her head on his shoulder.

"You've been strong all these time", Donghae said.

"However, you don't have to pretend that you're alright", he said.

"You can tell me, and I'll listen", Donghae said.

"You can trust me", Hae said.

Jessica has been carrying that burden in her heart. For two years, she hasn't been able to let it out. Tears started to fall from her eyes.

Because she had to be strong, but truth is she is crumbling inside. Jessica just blurts out her feelings. 

"I can't forgive myself", Jessica said in between tears. Donghae slowly pats her back. He feels sorry for her. She looks a formidable woman on the outside, but a fragile girl on the inside and she's carrying the guilt for years already.

"I killed my mom", she finally have someone she told her feelings to. 

"It's not your fault", Donghae said and Jessica continues to sob in his chest.

"Stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault, Sica", he said. Donghae wraps her in his arms, Jessica let it all out. All her resolution dissolves. Someone she did not expect to trust her with her shadows and skeletons. Someone who had saved her, not once and more than twice. Someone she is sharing her broken heartedness with at the moment. A person she had come to trust.