Baekhyun #6                                                                                              

             16 

Yes, I at this circumstance became the idiot. With the conglomerate amount of people crowded around someone who’d fainted –I pushed back from the small group to keep at bay. At this moment, I didn’t know what else to say or do.

I was shaking –my phone not trusting me to keep it safe as I finally tucked it in my pocket. My palms feel sweaty, as if they’ve been stationary under the heat’s fervor. I could base my reaction normal in the sense but no one could see me avoid any sudden guilt I and I alone tried sustaining.

I don’t understand why he would fall –It all had me wanting to ade everything that’s about Park Chanyeol. I face this reality of having a rush that all but longs to reacquaint itself with a person and I’ve begun to grow a headache just from the wonderment I could involve myself in.

On the other hand, I’m quite sure I don’t want this just yet.

And still from the distance I create, this man hasn’t gotten Chanyeol to wake and the smallest irony came from my heart telling me this was how it felt. I happen to come into Taeyeon whom on the short end of the stick, forces her way in with assistance.

“I knew he looked pale, is he responding?” Her hands move while the taller watches unsure of the process. However, he has enough judgement by saying, “He’s breathing but it’s really faint… I have been trying to get him to respond but it’s not been working.” The gradual furrows of his burrows are everything in this expression of his. It’s likely to believe that this is his beyond overwrought phase.

At one time, he looks up around him, giving the views a distressing blink of the eyes.

Taeyeon initially nodded, giving her phone the flashlight option with her quick fingers lifting his lids one by one. Even I seem to cut my eyes the other way and when I find Jongdae encouraging others to keep it moving unless they have some medical experience, I inhale too deeply.

Though it wasn’t my fault –the thought of seeing him in this state and not being able to help, having nothing but the ability to get an ambulance which had just now rushed into the scene –probably professed a lot of poorly verbalized apology.

I didn’t expect any of this to happen but all the more reason to try and have a clear mind. It’s all just giving me the worst feeling.

“That was crazy…” Jongdae mutters after the last of the people mind their business. He tries pulling me back to join those in which have lives to live.

Even though I sense my feet on the move, they’re a little too grudging. Now that the ambulance has gone with Chanyeol and the other man riding in it, they itch to do something that has nothing to with them or the body trying to regain its full control.

 Why the hell do I feel the need to be with them? It’s not the time –I’m already probably going to get scolded for not being at the register.

“Yeah, I didn’t come here prepare for that. My hands are shaking.” Taeyeon in her own way lifts her shoulders to huff her jitters away. Her direct help goes without saying and inwardly I want to say thank you for aiding a stranger from the store – a stranger I in somewhat form care about.

I seem to get away with the amount of droplets slipping fro and into tears when I wipe my entire face and agree nonetheless, “I’m beginning to think this area is cursed.” The unenthusiastic laugh I give only makes the two beside me enter the store quietly.

When I find my place, I generally give the person whom graciously kept working in my stay a sincerely apology before they leave guessing the problem outside was worth his wait.  

“Poor guy, but anyway –just how are you, Baekhyun?” These friends of mine are here for a reason. They at least want to get what they came for.

As I look at them from the counter, I guess the purpose of frowning is because, “I feel that’s a tricky question. I mean I am well.” I trail my head downward and bring up a smile somewhat –I don’t want them getting the wrong idea after seeing me last within such a hazed cloud.

“The sessions are getting easier to handle –then not so easy at the same time… it’s often exposing too much effort that I just want to do something and distract myself… yet my body wants to sleep –continuously breathe while remembering, and I suppose that’s what’s best.” I try wording it but being a patient –you can never really find the right way of saying how your experience is treating you.

“That’s really interesting. What’s the session like? Your favorites...?” Taeyeon asked this and grinned away the excitement the moment I deadpan and boringly stated, “No comment.”

I take inventory of the register during the silence and check the time before hearing Jongdae have a laugh. He then says, “Damn, okay so then what about us do you remember of those last months?”

There’s a small drop the subject dancing around the woman’s eyes next to him. And when I accusingly narrow my eyes, I tease the facts –“I know why I named her for starters –the ert with no boundaries.” I raise my brow and tone.

 I gesture my finger towards her while spilling the beans, “Did you know she told her parents I bought that van for her?”

“Oh!” Jongdae can’t believe it as he’s extremely tickled by the information. His mouth widens out, all that’s left is a judging shake of the head whereas Taeyeon sighs the explanation, “I was going to move the van but I got caught up… I have to resell it by the end of the month…” That small nose of hers is covered by her hand ; this is her way of shying from the world. It’s always been a cute habit I would have to agree.

Though even hearing that I get a chance at laughing as well–“That got me stuck lying through my teeth about who the van truly belonged to.” I observe how much I actually started remembering as the flow of the conversation progresses amongst a group of friends.

“Your parents don’t know?” Her eyes widen because she can feel the relief. I know since she’s for some time, had a bad record of making herself look awfully irresponsible in front of my mother.

“Not that I know of…. I think I told them that the van was for the purpose of Jongdae’s portfolio. It has to be moved by this month for sure though, Taeyeon.” I snap my eyes back at her surely insistent the longer I recall this short warning of how long it’s supposed to be there.

 “Take it off my property by then, Baekhyun. I’m serious.” Pretty sure that’s what my mother said, for the memory of her relent exception really gives me such alert.

On the side, Jongdae’s expression sullenly causes his lip to twitch. “Don’t put me in your van of repercussion business!”

I get them to calm when a customer has a few things to ask for. I’ve taken a pack of cigarettes, four lottery tickets and scanned four more items just to receive a long stare by them. The woman has short hair and though she dresses as if she got out from busy day at work, her eyes begin slanting once her sunglasses remove ; quite similar to a way one might begin to stare at someone when they’ve been told something that’s stuck with them the wrong way.

“Are you that man that called my son a waste of their childhood??” Incredulously the woman has me dead on and I wonder to myself then, what the hell kind of nonsense?

“You are.” She doesn’t give me time to speak and makes aim to point rudely. As she scoffs she goes on to say, “Just because a kid doesn’t look like he’s having fun doesn’t mean he’s wasting their childhood, you brat.” Jongdae and Taeyeon awkwardly await the woman to leave but as she does her small sorcery of profanity doesn’t make the parting any less hard to withstand.

There’s no shock when the two burst out laughing. I even come to find myself covering my mouth to hide a smile.

“Baekhyun, your past is coming to haunt you, isn’t it?” It seems this doesn’t come as a surprise when Jongdae chuckles out but I raised my brow –finding the series just tiring to handle.

“I use to do spontaneous interviews with people around this neighborhood; I guess I said something that pissed her off…I can’t recall.” It’s not that I’m brushing it off, but the memory isn’t so clear though I trust it makes sense.

“Well, next time immediately say ‘I lost my memory.’…. maybe they’ll let you off the hook