I have had a cold hence the no updating for a while

Or XiuChen actually did kill me temporarily by being perfect husband material on Return of Superman ;-)

Chapter 45

Xiumin was awake but he was just too comfortable to move. He had forgotten how good it felt to wake up with Luhan's arm draped lazily over him. He hadn't mentioned anything about what they had done with Changmin in that motel room yet.

After a little while he felt the other wolf shift and pull away. Without opening his eyes Xiumin caught his arm.

“Don't go.”

“I didn't know you were awake.”

He smiled a little but didn't answer. He was still too sleepy and comfortable.

“I'll be right back, okay?”

Xiumin grumbled but let him go. He managed to open his eyes a little when Luhan did return as he had promised and snuggled back up against him.

They lay like that for another ten minutes before Luhan finally spoke and brought Xiumin back to reality.

“Are you okay? I know we didn't talk about yesterday much.”

“I'm fine.” He shifted and snuggled closer. “The police said there was pretty much no way they could get away with it. Too much evidence.”

“I don't just mean about that. Are you okay with what happened between us… and Changmin?”

Xiumin forced his eyes open. He had known this conversation was coming. “Are you?” It was Luhan who would have more of a problem with what happened, surely.

“I'm okay.”

“Don't lie.”

Luhan looked away a little sullenly. “Your heat affected all of us. We couldn't help it.”

“Luhan, please just be honest with me. I know it's… weird but it's done now. We have to find a way to deal with it.”

“Do you still want him?” Luhan blurted. His voice was breathless, soft. But his arm tensed where it still lay over Xiumin.

“I was just in heat. I couldn't help it.”

His love rolled onto his side to face him and kissed his jaw once, twice. “You know I love you.”

“If I hadn't been there you wouldn't have stopped.”

Suddenly feeling too hot and too close to the other wolf Xiumin sat up and pushed back the covers.

“I would have ed Minseok if you hadn't been there. It had nothing to do with what I wanted, I was in heat.”

Luhan swallowed and looked down guiltily. “I know. I'm sorry.”

A long silence fell between them until Xiumin said more calmly, “I saw you kiss him.”

A flush reddened his lover's cheeks and then Luhan was sitting up too, a healthy distance away and with his knees pulled up to his chest.

“I was jealous,” he whispered.

“But I love you. You know that.”

When Luhan shook his head it made Xiumin's chest ache.

“But what you had with him… I can never have that. It'll never be the same. He had you in a way that I can't.”

Brows pulling together Xiumin dared to reach out for him. He let his hand lie on the bed inches away from Luhan's hunched body.

“What do you mean?” he choked. Did Luhan want him to be his pet? Was he that jealous that he needed to have him like that too? The thought made him uncomfortable for some reason. With Changmin he had been happy to do it but things with Luhan were different. He had thought they were equal. That Luhan wouldn't be interested in that kind of thing.

“I don't know,” Luhan said tightly. “Just forget about it.”

He stood up without looking over his shoulder at his startled boyfriend. Xiumin caught him before he reached the door.

“Don't,” he begged. “Please don't walk away. Just tell me what I have to do. I wish Changmin hadn't been there yesterday. Please just talk to me.”

Luhan gripped Xiumin's tight fists that were wrapped around his waist and clinging to his shirt but he didn't push them away.

“I don't know,” he said, frustrated. With himself. With Xiumin. With the whole damn situation. “I don't know how you can fix this. I can't stop thinking of what you must have done with him before we met and all these things he got to do to you and it drives me crazy.”

Xiumin gaped. “You have an ex, too. You must have done things with him I don't know about.”

“And I regret all of them! I wish I had never met him. He was just using me and I was an idiot and I wish it had never happened. But your ex is kind and handsome and still in love with you and how can I compete with that?”

Startled by his outburst Xiumin blinked up at him for a second. He could feel Luhan's whole body trembling.

“You don't have to compete,” he said. “I already chose you. I stopped thinking about him the second I met you.”

He kissed Luhan and was relieved that he didn't pull away. He looked at him worriedly before kissing him again and this tie felt Luhan back, too desperately, too afraid that Xiumin might change his mind.

Deepening the kiss Xiumin wrapped his arms securely around his waist and held him until he felt Luhan relax a little.

They rested their foreheads together and he whispered, “Baby, I love you more than anything. I only want to be with you.”

“But he owns you. He could take you away.”

“If he was going to he would have done it by now. We'll sort it out, okay?”

Luhan nodded but his vice like grip around Xiumin's body was enough to say that he wasn't completely convinced.

“I'm sorry about all those things I said,” he whispered, “when I found out you were his pet. I didn't mean them. I was just jealous.”

“You… you want me to be your pet?”

He was relieved when Luhan shook his head quickly.

“No, I just didn't like what it meant about you two. How you had something special and how much you must have loved him.”

“I did,” Xiumin admitted with a soft smile, “but it wasn't about that. I had nobody back them. My family wasn't near, I had no pack, I was terrified of the wolves in my dorm… I needed him to protect me. That's why things were so intense between us. It's different with you. I just love you because… it feels right.”

Luhan looked at him steadily and Xiumin hoped he understood what he was trying to say.

“I would choose you every time.”

He watched as Luhan blinked and swallowed hard. Then his arms were tightening around Xiumin's waist and they were pressed together with Luhan's head resting on his shoulder.

“I love you,” he whispered as if it were a secret.

Xiumin smiled a little in return and closed his eyes. “I love you, too.”

Ahhh, they're so cute!

Luhan was supposed to be okay with what happened but when I started writing he got all insecure again. *rolls eyes*