[JANUARY 2015]

DARA'S POV

It's been two years, and I am like I am paying back for everything I voiced. I was too harsh that night. I didn’t know he would really leave, I mean we did fuss and fight thousands times with only one cause - the girls around him, but everything was always settled down just only one or two days after that.  I thought "He’ll come back tomorrow. He’ll definitely call me first in the morning"...however, it was not thing that happened as I expected. Right after such fight two days, Dispatches Korea unveil a series of pictures of my boyfriend (I means, ex-boyfriend) and Kiko Mizuhara. Those pictures were like thousand of darts that shot my heart at the same time. I was dumbfounded - "Everything he said...he makes it come true...Dara ah, it seems you so stupid...that jerk just only want a reason to kick you out of his life".

All 2NE1 members, except me, were fairly shocked by the breaking news spreading over the internet that JiYong was dating Kiko then coz they all know how deep our love were for each other. They (Big Bang and 2NE1) were in fact fond of our fights and quarrels since they found it funny and curious why we could have a lot of fights but still in love. They always thought that Jiyong and me were like children, fighting then playing with each other again and again. But CL, Bom and Minzy seemed to understand that everything was really ended then when I came back from the beauty sallon with my hair cut and strongly announced that I would use his new hair cut as a new image for the upcoming album of us. The other members definitely got shocked by my act coz they knew JiYong really loved girl with long hair so cutting my hair, to them, was like an official end for our relationship. 

I had to say, Bom had never been furious as then. After hours cooing me for another stupid fight with Jiyong, she started cursing him as a jerk who was ready to blow up everything we've been through. Since all YG artists had to make sure that their private relationship wouldn't be brought into the day light except for the possibility that they would be get married soon, the doing of Jiyong then was  like a slap to my face as if he wanted me to know that although he just met Kiko for some times, she was the only one being officially exposed to the public. This fact hurted my pride, made me jump to conclusion that he considered our nearly ten year relationship as a garbage, no more no less. I cared nothing then but focused on our album promotion, avoiding the facts that Jiyong more and more often came to Japan for Kiko, even he brought her to Korean then asked one of his closest coordie to take care of her, to settle her accomodation, to let her use his own car. However, the deep inside I cried every night silently and could feel a bitteness - regret- hurt - suffering feeling, which kept tearing me into pieces, despite whenever seeing him anywhere, I just colded my face or smirked at him like everything was just a bad joke. Day by day, the bitterness and pain inside me turned to be hatred but I couldn't clarify whether this hatred was for Jiyong or Kiko, or that hatred was for myself.

The promotion period closed with huge success and 2NE1 was allowed to have some time for break.Aside the time spending with Bom and CL (since Minzy had to focus on her academic career). Bom, as a so-called love specialist, suggested me hang out with some another guys, not just sitting there and staring at stupid things that Jiyong wanted to show me. 

Bom: "Dara...Dara, can you hear me?" - she got  pissed at me when I didn't focus on her words, just letting my mind disgesting the news that Jiyong and Kiko had been spotted again outside a restaurant in Japan in an annoying and hating feeling.

Dara: "yeah?"

CL: "Unnie, you can't keep silence...do something.. I agree with our Bominator, you should hang out some guys...I mean, come on, Jiyong oppa is not the only guy in this world...and after all, you guys are over...don't tell me you will stay as a bachelor forever, it sounds scary, unnie"

Bom: "what with bachelor? our Dara cannot be a bachelor...OMG, she has a list of fanboys who are only waitin