Savior
Part 2

“Did something happen?”

 

“Why do you assume something happened?”

 

“Well you were about to jump off a bridge. I assume something happened.”

 

“I already told you. Life is too hard. I haven’t found that thing worth living for and it feels like I never will.”

 

The blonde girl stared at her. The other girl sighed.

 

“It’s not that I wanted to die…I’m honestly still scared of it. But, I don’t want to live either. Have you ever felt like that?”

 

“Once.”

 

“Just once?”

 

“Probably more than that, but there is one time in particular that stands out to me. Is there something in mind that stands out to you?”

 

The girl hesitantly nodded. “When my family left.”

 

 

“Where is she?”

 

“Calm down Jessi. She’s volunteering at the school. She does it every year on this day.”

 

Jessica threw her hands up in frustration and furiously walked away. Tiffany couldn’t help but laugh at the sight.

 

“Well she needs to hurry up! She has work here to do!”

 

Taeyeon raised an eyebrow at the frustrated blonde. “Why don’t you just ask Amber to do whatever it is?”

 

“Because…Amber’s not qualified!”

 

Amber laughed off the unintentional insult. She knew the real reason why she didn’t want her to do it. In fact, everyone did.

 

“Oh just admit it…”

 

“Admit what?”

 

“You know what.”

 

“Tiffany, I’m not in the mood.”

 

“I think you have her confused for Yuri,” Hyoyeon interjected. Jessica turned to glare at her, but it seemed as if it didn’t have the same effect it did before. Everyone seemed to find Jessica just a tad bit more tolerable on this specific production, enough to be able to joke around with her.

 

“Just admit that you miss her!”

 

“But I don’t. Why would I miss that little conceited, arrogant, cocky girl?” Jessica scoffed at the insinuation and let herself sink down into a chair. She crossed her legs and rested her chin on her palm, her elbow resting on the armrest. Her other arm lied stiffly on the armrest, a finger impatiently tapping on the material of the chair.

 

“Jessica…”

 

“What?!” she snapped.

 

Tiffany giggled again. Jessica couldn’t take the teasing anymore.

 

“Alright fine! I admit it; this place is boring without her…” she grumbled. Tiffany grinned at her friend and walked over to her.

 

“I’ve never seen you like this with anyone Jessi…not since –”

 

“What are you trying to imply?” she cut off sharply. Tiffany shot an apologetic smile at her and plopped down into the seat next to her.

 

“Sorry.”

 

Jessica just grumbled under her breath and leaned further into her seat. “What’s taking her so long…?”

 

“You know, Yuri’s a very nice girl.”

 

“And?”

 

“And…she’s not him. She’s nothing like him…”

 

“I know…” she muttered. “What’s your point, Tiffany?”

 

Tiffany turned to her and sighed. “You guys….match well.” Jessica scoffed and raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“If you’re implying what I think you’re implying, then let’s just end this conversation here.”

 

Tiffany raised her arms in defense. “Fine…I was just saying…”

 

Jessica immediately shot up from her seat when she saw that Yuri had entered the room, almost completely forgetting that Tiffany was even there. “Yuri-yah! You’re late!”

 

Yuri looked in their direction and immediately formed a grin on her face. “Sorry! I’ll get right to work!” she yelled before running off. Tiffany chuckled a little bit before lightly grabbing Jessica’s arm to get her attention.

 

“Jessi…”

 

“What?” Jessica asked as she turned around curiously, her mood considerably lighter than it was a few minutes ago. Tiffany had to hold back a grin at the sudden change in mood as soon as Yuri came into the room.

 

“Just…don’t be so hard on her today, okay?” Tiffany told her before standing up and walking down towards the stage. Jessica shot her a bewildered look as she followed her.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“You know, don’t be…you.” Jessica sent a harmless glare her way before getting up and moving towards where Yuri had gone off to. “I’m serious here, Jessi. This time of year is always hard for her…especially today.”

 

Jessica stopped and stared at her curiously. “Why?”

 

Tiffany hesitated before deciding that Yuri probably wouldn’t mind. Not if it was Jessica. “Well…”

 

 

“There was an accident almost a year ago. This huge fire…”

 

“You…were the only survivor?”

 

The girl nodded.

 

“I see. I’m sorry for your loss.”

 

“One of my friends managed to get me a job. To help me get back on my feet and all.”

 

“Oh? How’d that go?”

 

The girl shrugged, not knowing why she felt so comfortable telling all of this to a stranger. “I wasn’t very well accepted over there. They kind of hated me actually. Got beat up a couple times. Today too, in fact.”

 

 

Jessica remained silent at the hauntingly familiar story. She couldn’t place where it had come from. She shrugged it off, ignoring the nagging thought in the back of her mind that she had heard this story before.

 

“The other workers used to pick on her a lot. And we…we weren’t there to help her. She always insisted it was fine, that it never really got to her. We all know it did though…but there was nothing we could do to stop it.”

 

“You still feel bad about it?”

 

“Not really. I know she’s forgiven us. Plus, everything worked out, didn’t it?”

 

Jessica shrugged. “I guess so,” she replied before walking over to the shop. She stopped and stared at the hardworking figure happily chatting with Amber.

 

“She looks fine to me…” she muttered to herself. Tiffany overheard and couldn’t hold in a laugh.

 

Only because of you, Jessi.

 

“Sica-yah!” Yuri ran over to her like a puppy with a huge grin on her face. “Have you seen the progress we’ve made?!” she asked excitedly. “This show’s going to be great!” she yelled before running off. She didn’t even give Jessica a chance to reply. The two girls chuckled at the sight of the hyperactive Yuri.

 

“What’s up with her? She’s never like this around days like this…” Taeyeon asked suddenly appearing beside the two of them. Tiffany laughed again before nudging her shoulder playfully. Everyone knew why Yuri had been so happy lately—except for Jessica and Taeyeon.

 

“You’re so slow TaeTae.”

 

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Tiffany only laughed and walked away. “Fany-ah!”

 

Jessica chuckled at the two oblivious girls before she went back to staring at Yuri, ignoring the implications that Tiffany gave off earlier. Jessica unconsciously smiled as she watched Yuri work. She caught herself quickly, realizing what she was doing, what she was feeling. It had been a long time since she felt this spark with someone, and she told herself that it’d lead to nothing but trouble. She shook her head and walked away, trying to get rid of the thoughts and flush out the butterflies that had taken over her stomach.

 

Meanwhile, Yuri worked enthusiastically, not caring about the weird stares she was getting.

 

“Why are you so happy today?”

 

Yuri looked up at Sooyoung, who was casually eating a sandwich across from her. She shrugged and grinned at her friend. “Why can’t I be happy?”

 

“I’m not saying you can’t be happy…” she muttered before finishing off her food. “It’s just not what I expected from you today.”

 

Yuri shrugged. “It’s not what I expected either.” She frowned at the thought. “Is this…wrong?”

 

“Is what wrong?”

 

“Me being happy.”

 

“How could that ever be wrong?”

 

“Shouldn’t I be sad? Instead I’m here…happy.”

 

Sooyoung grinned at her. “No, no way! You being happy is way better than you being sad, trust me,” she told her before she walked away.

 

“She’s right, you know.” Yuri turned around at the new voice. Tiffany grinned at her. “I got depressed just looking at you last year.” Yuri could only chuckle at her before finally deciding that she probably wasn’t going to get any work done at this rate and jumped to sit on top of the table.

 

“I don’t get it.”

 

“Don’t get what?”

 

“Why I’m happy.”

 

Tiffany shot a knowing look at her again.

 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

“Don’t lie to me Yuri-yah! I know you’re not that oblivious.”

 

Yuri rolled her eyes at the girl. “I know the reason I’m happy…But I don’t know why…”

 

“So you admit you’re interested in Jessica?”

 

“I never denied it in the first place. Everyone just assumed I would’ve if they asked. Of course I’m interested in her. I didn’t make too much of an effort to make it seem subtle, did I?”

 

“So what’s stopping you?”

 

“I think it’s pretty obvious she’s not interested in me. At least not in the way I want her to be.”

 

“She is!” Tiffany shouted a little too enthusiastically. “Trust me, she is! She’s just…”

 

Yuri stared at her suspiciously. “She’s just what?”

 

“I don’t think I should –”

 

“She’s scared, isn’t she?”

 

“Wha –”

 

“She’s scared I’ll hurt her. She’s scared I’ll take advantage of her,” Yuri stated as if she already knew. Yuri grinned knowingly. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

 

“I…I…how did you…”

 

“Just a wild guess.”

 

 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, people don’t exactly like me too much either.”

 

The girl paused. “It doesn’t.”

 

The stranger shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. “Worth a shot.”

 

“What about you? Didn’t you say you had a particular time in mind where you felt like I did?”

 

The blonde shrugged. “Yeah.”

 

“Feel like sharing?”

 

“Why are you so curious?”

 

“I just want to get to know this beautiful stranger.”

 

She giggled. She hesitated for a moment before deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to share her story. “I was in a serious relationship with this guy and then one day he…”

 

“…he…?”

 

“He me.”

 

 

“Sica-yah! Are you busy tonight?” Yuri grinned at the indifferent blonde.

 

“Yeah, I am actually. I…” Jessica glanced at her. “I have a date.”

 

“Oh. Another one?”

 

She nodded. She didn’t know why she felt like she was betraying Yuri. She didn’t know why she felt like she wanted to call off the date right then and there.

 

She didn’t know why she wanted to spend more time with her.

 

 

“I don’t trust anyone anymore. I loved him – or at least I thought I did – and he still…”

 

The blonde trailed off, not knowing how to finish her thought.

 

“I don’t believe in serious relationships anymore. I’ll go on dates and have fun on them, do whatever I want with the guy and never see him again.”

 

“I see.”

 

“People think I’m a for sleeping around.” She paused to take another sip. “But they don’t know…” Another sip. “They don’t know.”

 

“It doesn’t bother you?”

 

She shrugged. “Not really. I let them think what they want. I encourage it, in fact. I act cold and indifferent around everyone. I’ve gained quite the reputation, you know.”

 

“Why though? Does it make a difference if you make everyone hate you?”

 

The blonde put her cup of coffee down and stared out the window. “I want…I want to see if anyone ever bothers to figure out why I act like I do.”

 

 

“Fany-ah, Sica’s one of your best friends, right?”

 

Tiffany nodded in response. “Yup. I’ve known her since we were kids. We’re practically sisters.”

 

“How come you let everyone talk about her the way they do?”

 

Tiffany looked at Yuri in surprise. “I…just don’t think it’s any of my business to in.”

 

“Oh, we both know that’s a lie,” Yuri said with a smirk. “You’d never let anyone talk like that about your friends. Remember that one time when some guy said Taeyeon’s voice was horrible and you slapped him?”

 

“That was different!”

 

“You didn’t even know the guy Fany-ah!”

 

“So? Taeyeon’s voice isn’t horrible. He deserved it.”

 

“And Jessica isn’t a either, but you let everyone call her that. Why?”

 

“…It’s not my place to tell you.”

 

Yuri frowned and stopped interrogating the girl when she saw that Taeyeon was glaring at her. She chuckled and went back to work.

 

Playing dumb was getting tiring.

 

 

“Only my best friend – my only friend – and my sister know.” The blonde stopped and glanced at how the girl across from her was taking in all this information. The other girl stared at her curiously, wanting to know more, urging her to continue. “They tried to stop the rumors from circulating; they tried to defend me but…”

 

“Didn’t work out too well, did it?”

 

“Not one bit.”

 

“Guess you’re too good of an actress.”

 

The blonde giggled again and the girl couldn’t help but think that she looked so much better when she had a smile on her face. “I guess so. I told them to stop and just let people think what they want. It doesn’t matter to me anymore. Besides, even if I wanted to change my reputation I don’t think I could.”

 

“You could try smiling some more.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“No, I mean…I just…I think you look nice when you smile. Almost approachable, even.” She grinned at the blonde sitting across from her.

 

The blonde grinned back at her. “Thanks, I think.”

 

A moment of silence.

 

“You too, you know.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You look nice when you smile too.”

 

 

“So what did you have planned tonight?” Jessica asked in an attempt to lighten up the suddenly somber atmosphere. Yuri forced a smile.

 

“Nothing really.”

 

“Then why’d you ask if I was busy?”

 

Yuri shrugged and rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. “I just…I wanted to spend more time with you,” she mumbled, too embarrassed to say it any louder.

 

Jessica fought down a blush and let out a nervous laugh. “Don’t you think we spend enough time together?”

 

“I guess,” Yuri said with a chuckle. “But, I don’t know, I just…today…it would’ve been nice to spend more time with you today,” she said with a soft smile. “Especially today,” she muttered under her breathe.

 

“What’s so important about today?” Jessica asked, deciding to play dumb.

 

Yuri shrugged once again and faked another grin her way. “Nothing,” she lied, “nothing at all.”

 

“Right…” Jessica said knowingly. Yuri opened as if she was going to say something, but she quickly closed it. Jessica raised an eyebrow at her and Yuri relented.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“Why…why do you act like you do?”

 

“What?”

 

“I mean, before I met you all I heard about you was that you were mean, cold, and a when you’re so obviously not.”

 

“You don’t think I’m all of that?”

 

“No, not at all. I think you’re amazing.”

 

Jessica scoffed in disbelief. She seemed to do that a lot around Yuri.

 

“I do, I really do. I mean, I also think you’re stubborn, short-tempered, and lazy, but still amazing nonetheless.”

 

“…You honestly didn’t believe everything? Not even when you first met me?”

 

Yuri had to laugh at the memory of the first week that they worked together. Up until the paint incident, all Jessica had done was yell at her or accuse her of messing things up. “Maybe just a little bit, but, I don’t know, you didn’t seem all that bad. At least not how everyone made you out to be.”

 

Jessica didn’t know how to respond. She knew she shouldn’t be feeling this way – towards a girl especially – but deep inside she already knew it was too late.

 

“Anyway,” Yuri continued, “you should go.” Jessica followed Yuri’s line of vision to see her date waiting for her at the door, smiling at the two of them. “He’s waiting for you.”

 

Jessica nodded. “He is.” She didn’t move.

 

“Aren’t you going to go?”

 

“What about you?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“Are you going to be okay?”

 

“Why?” Yuri asked grinning at her. “Is the ice princess actually worried about me?”

 

“No!”

 

Yuri laughed. “I don’t know, Taeyeon told me to lock up, so…”

 

“Are you going home after you do?”

 

“Probably.”

 

“Are you really…?”

 

“…Probably not.”

 

It amazed Jessica how well they knew each other just after a month.

 

“Go, Sica. You don’t want to keep your date waiting.” Yuri pushed her towards the door. “I’ll be okay. Have a good time!”

 

Jessica glanced back just as the door was closing; just in time to see the hurt expression on Yuri’s face.

 

 

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to get into another serious relationship?”

 

“I don’t see myself doing it.”

 

“I understand.”

 

The blonde raised her eyebrows in surprise. “You do?”

 

“Yeah. Sometimes the people you love hurt you in the most unexpected way, whether it was intentional or not, it still hurts. And sometimes I think it hurts so much that you’d do anything to not go through that again.”

 

“You make me sound like a coward.”

 

“Maybe we both are. Maybe we’re both so scared, so hopeless, so broken to the point where we can’t fix ourselves.”

 

“Maybe I am, but not you. It can’t be you.”

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

The blonde laughed. “A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be out in the rain standing on the edge of the bridge. You deserve so much better than what you have, and you should show all those people who don’t think so that you do.”

 

“You should take your own advice, you know.”

 

“Easier said than done.”

 

She didn't know why, but she decided to drop by the theatre on her way back. She told herself that she just wanted to check up on some props since she was passing by there anyway.

 

Deep inside, she knew otherwise.

 

She opened the door and her legs led her through the lobby towards the house. The faint smell of alcohol filled her senses and it didn't take her long to find an intoxicated female figure curled up in one of the seats. She was in the fourth row up, eighteenth seat. Jessica slowly made her way over to the shaking girl and sat down in the seat next to her.

 

“Yuri-yah…”

 

Yuri looked up from the fetal position she put herself in. Jessica couldn't seem to recall another time when the girl had looked so lost and confused. Now that she was sitting so close to her, the strong scent of alcohol filled her nose and Jessica saw multiple beer bottles scattered throughout the floor of the house lifelessly rolling around, clinking every now and then. Jessica heard another clink of a beer bottle closer to here and look back at Yuri to see that one had fallen out of her hand as she stared at Jessica.

 

“Sica-yah,” Yuri started. She suddenly grinned at her. “You're here!” Yuri leaned forward to get a better look at her face. Jessica recoiled at the putrid stench of alcohol coming out of with every breath she took. "You're really here!" Yuri leaned forward and pulled her into a tight embrace. “You're really here…” It barely came out as a whisper. Jessica giggled a little at how clingy of a drunk Yuri was before wrapping her arms around her, returning the hug. Suddenly, the smell didn't bother her much anymore.

 

“Are…are you going to leave again?”

 

“I was only gone for a couple hours…”

 

“Don't leave me…”

 

"I'm not going anywhere."

 

Yuri's embrace tightened and she buried her face in the crook of Jessica's neck. “Sica…”

 

“Hm?” Jessica hated to admit that she was enjoying the position they were in.

 

“Do you remember me…?”

 

“Of course I do.”

 

Yuri pulled back to look at her and narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Do you really?” Jessica was confused.

 

“It's only been a couple hours. Of course I –”

 

Yuri suddenly shoved her away. “No you don't! You don't remember!” Jessica stared at her shock as she angrily got up and walked up the stage. She sat still in her seat as she watched Yuri lie down in the middle of the stage. It was eerily quiet. You could hear Yuri's muffled sobs echo softly. They bounced across the walls of the theater and pierced straight through Jessica's heart. Jessica stood up and walked towards the sobbing girl. She kneeled down next to her and pulled her into a hug.

 

“Today's their death anniversary…”

 

“I know.”

 

“I'm not sad though…two years ago they died...they left me alone…but I'm not sad. I don't get it. Shouldn't I be sad? Does this…”

 

"Does this make me a bad person?"

 

It was such an innocent question. It was something similar to what a child would ask. A simple yes or no question that wasn't really that simple to answer in the first place. The ideas of good and bad were so warped in her mind in a way that made her struggle for the answer. She didn't know where the line between the two was drawn anymore. They were blended together so much that the two ideas were distorted into one.

 

“No! Of course not!” Jessica couldn't even begin the fathom the idea that Yuri could be bad. She was wonderful. Jessica had never met another girl even remotely close to how wonderful Yuri was.

 

“Then how come I feel like one?” Yuri stared at her with the most innocent look on her face.

 

“Listen, you are not a bad person. Not at all, not even a little bit. I think it's great that you don't feel sad about it anymore.”

 

“…Great? How…how is this great?”

 

Jessica smiled at her and cupped her face with both hands. “Because…that just means you can look back at the memories you had together and smile instead of cry. It doesn't mean you don't care anymore. It just means you've finally accepted that they're gone.”

 

Yuri reached up and placed a hand over Jessica's. She closed her eyes. “Thank you…” she whispered.

 

“Anytime,” Jessica whispered back before pulling her into another tight hug.

 

Suddenly, Yuri pulled away and stared at Jessica. Jessica recognized the look she was giving her. She had been giving that look to her since they first met. She looked at her as if she was expecting something.

 

“…You…you really don't remember…”

 

“Remember what?”

 

Yuri pouted at her and Jessica couldn't help but think it was adorable. “Ugh! Is it really that hard Sica?!” Yuri shouted as she frustratingly stood up and stumbled away from her. Jessica had forgotten in the midst of their serious conversation that Yuri was still completely drunk.

 

“Wait, watch out!”

 

Before Jessica could even stand up, Yuri tripped over an empty beer bottle rolling around near the edge of the stage. She fell into the orchestra pit and landed with a thud.

 

“Oh my god, Yuri!” Jessica ran over to the edge of the stage and jumped down into the orchestra pit. She kneeled down next to the unmoving figure. “Yuri-yah, are you okay?” she asked shaking Yuri. “Yuri!”

 

Yuri slowly opened her eyes and stared into the worried eyes hovering above her. Jessica let out a sigh of relief. “Sica…you saved me.”

 

Jessica scoffed. “Hardly…I didn't even do anything.”

 

“You stopped me from falling.”

 

“Um, no I didn't,” Jessica said staring down at her confusedly. She couldn't help but wonder how drunk Yuri was. Yuri pouted again.

 

“Yes you did, Sica-yah…” Yuri suddenly sat up and cupped Jessica's face with both of her hands. Jessica was too shocked to move away. “Why don't you remember me…?”

 

“But I –”

 

“Don't say that you do because I know that you don't.” Yuri's grip on her tightened and Jessica moved her hands to push her away, but her hands stopped to rest on Yuri's forearms. “How come you don't remember? Why…? Was it that insignificant to you? Because it meant the world to me, Sica…”

 

Yuri started crying. Jessica wasn't sure why or when she started, but there she was, staring back at her shaking and shivering with tears streaming down her face saying all these words that Jessica couldn't piece together properly. Yuri leaned even closer to her so that the tip of their noses touched and closed her eyes, her shallow breaths brushing across her face.

 

Jessica felt her heart ache at the sight.

 

“I don't get it, Sica…” Yuri began talking again, her eyes still closed. Jessica moved her hands so that her arms wrapped around her neck, bringing the two faces a centimeter closer.

 

“Don't get what?” Jessica whispered.

 

“I just…” Yuri opened her eyes again. “I don't get how you have this ability to make me so happy…Even when you don't remember…even when you reject me…even when you scold me or hit me…even when you go out on dates…even on a day when I should be sad.”

 

“Yuri-yah –”

 

“You make me happy,” she choked out, “and I don't know why.”

 

Jessica pulled her closer. “You make me happy too,” she whispered, “I don’t get it either…but you do, you just do…”

 

“Really?” Yuri stared at her with pleading eyes. Jessica cupped her face and wiped away the tears with her thumb.

 

She nodded. “Really.”

 

“You're not lying?”

 

She shook her head. “I'm not.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

She nodded. “I'm sure.”

 

“Positive?”

 

“Positive.”

 

Yuri let her exhaustion from the emotionally demanding day take over and rested her head in the crook of Jessica's neck. Jessica instinctively wrapped her arms around the limp body and held her close, her hair comfortingly. She felt Yuri gently wrap her arms around her waist.

 

It amazed her how perfectly they fit together, how two broken souls could mend so nicely into one.

 

Jessica guided her to the floor. She grabbed the blanket that Yuri had so carelessly thrown down there earlier in the day and covered the both of them. She felt the steady breaths hitting the base of her neck signaling that Yuri had fallen asleep.

 

She would only stay for a couple more minutes, she told herself.

 

She would only stay to make sure Yuri wouldn't wake up, she told herself.

 

She told herself a lot of things.

 

She never listened to herself.

 

 

 

“Maybe we can fix each other.”

 

“How?” asked the blonde, “We’re both so broken that we barely have enough pieces of ourselves for us. How are we supposed to help each other when we can’t even piece ourselves together?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

They both stared at each other and could only laugh.

 

But maybe – just maybe – the broken pieces of two people could be put back together with the help of the other; maybe where one piece was too broken to be put back another could be put there instead; maybe the pieces of two broken sets could build one whole new set.

 

Maybe it wouldn’t be put together the exact same way it was before, but maybe – just maybe – it could create something even better than it was before.