A week later, Jung and I are walking through Seoul Times Square Shopping Mall. I needed to get some fresh air and also wanted to go somewhere with Jung so I could talk with him. He was being quieter and distant again. I know it’s because of what In-Ho said and I know his reasons for not wanting to accept me in his life, but I’m tired of it. I’m more frustrated and angry than sad.

I walk around the mall for about an hour and finally decide to grab a drink at Starbucks. Jung doesn’t get anything, as usual, and I take a seat. I’m curious to see if he sits with me or not and to my surprise, he does. I sip my drink and look at Jung who is looking around. He’s not even looking at me. I hate this distance, I hate that he feels like he has to push me away.

“So are you going to bother talking to me anymore? Or is this how it’s going to be with us now?” I come out harsh, but I’m angry.

Jung looks at me, but seems unaffected by my tone. He looks down at his hands and doesn’t respond. Frustrated, I get up from the table and walk towards the parking lot. I get outside and Jung is right behind me. I get to our car and before I even get in, I turn around and face Jung who is right behind me.

“Look. I know you’re upset about what In-Ho said. But please, don’t be like this again.” I look into his eyes.

Nothing.

“You’re…. You’re being cold again! You’re… shutting yourself out.” I’m so angry.

“I’m sorry.” He’s looking at me, but it’s not the same.

“I’m tired of this. I’m tired of you putting your guard up and not letting me in. I’m tired of you not thinking you’re good enough for me or letting whatever insecurities shake you.” I’m fighting back tears.

“What is it you want from me, Seol?”His voice is shaky and uncertain. It catches me off guard. “Do you see a future with me? A nice house? Kids? I’m not even sure I can give you any of those things. Don’t you want to be happy? I can’t promise you forever, I can barely promise you today.”

We stand in the parking lot, looking at each other. It starts to rain, but we don’t even notice.

“So that’s it. You’re not even going to try?” I’m still holding back my tears. I’m afraid that once they fall, I won’t stop.

Jung doesn’t reply. He just continues to look at me, but I can see it in his eyes. He’s alrea