genre; angst, romance

type; drabble series

other mentions/casts; exo members

word count; 4378

summary; luhan's love for oh sehun is as pure, as genuine as the angels above; which is why he has to leave him. he has to leave exo.

pre-update author's note: this is sort of based on real-life events. this is my delusional view of what happened to exo, to hunhan, to luhan.

The moment Oh Sehun laid his eyes on the doe-eyed foreigner, he never really thought they would become close friends-- so close to the point where they became inseparable. Why? Well, because he was stuck to the idea that he’s not good in English. So, how on Earth would he communicate with him? He assumes the doe-eyed could not understand Korean because of the mere fact that he’s a foreigner.

But what he did next made Sehun panic--he was slowly approaching him.

What should I do? Should I pretend I did not see him? Run away? Pretend answering a call?

“H-hi!”, the nervousness the foreigner was feeling was very obvious in his voice as he greeted Sehun merrily in a broken Korean. “I’m Luhan. Chinese.”

Sehun found it adorable how the latter tries his best to speak in a language foreign to his’. “I’m Oh Sehun.”

Luhan smiled and asked, “Is someone...sits...beside?”

“Oh, you can take it.”

With a smile, Luhan took the seat beside Sehun and sat awkwardly for a while. And on that awkward moment, their friendship started.

When SM announced the trainees they have chosen to be part of the new boy group they are about to debut, it was difficult for everyone to separate the two of them. Even the SM staffs find it hard to do so and it was them who coined the OTP name of the two-- HunHan.

Even until EXO debuted, the two were as close as two papers glued to each other. The fact that Sehun was in EXO-K and Luhan was in EXO-M was not a hindrance to their strong bond. The younger looks up to his hyung so much. He finds it hard to find the reason why but Luhan is one of the VIPs in his life. Whenever he feels lonely and sad, he runs to Luhan and cries on his shoulder. Whenever he feels like he could no longer go on, Luhan would be the first to tell him never to give up. Whenever Sehun finds it hard to smile, Luhan makes a fool out of himself just to hear that melodious laughter coming out of Sehun’s mouth. Luhan does all the things he can to keep the younger one happy and maybe, just maybe, that was the reason why Sehun finds himself falling for his hyung.

On the other hand, Luhan exactly feels the same way. During the times when Luhan misses his family the most, Sehun would always be the first to offer him his shoulders to cry on. Whenever he gets sick, Sehun would be up all night just to take care of him and make sure he gets well the very next day. And there would be times when Luhan feels like he’s out of place, Sehun would be there, making him feel the other way around. Even in the tiniest stuffs, Sehun never failed to make Luhan smile. And maybe, just maybe, that was why Luhan fell in love with Sehun.

And because of that, Luhan realized what he was feeling was definitely wrong. Because he’s a guy and Oh Sehun is a guy as well.

-

EXO came back with a bang as they shook the whole KPop world with Growl and Wolf. They had been waiting for that moment to come for a very long time, that was why the happiness they felt was overwhelming. This was the start of the rise of EXO. But little did Sehun know, it was also the start of his drifting relationship with Luhan.

EXO-M became busy in China while EXO-K remained in Korea to continue promoting their music. Sehun thought the distance was the only reason Luhan was so distant. It turned out, there was something more.

When EXO-M returned from China, Sehun noticed Luhan was becoming so distant and had developed a closer bond with co-member, Xiumin. Sehun did not have the slightest idea on what could possibly cause for Luhan to ignore, or worst, to avoid, him. He badly wanted to ask Luhan but he did not know why he couldn’t muster up the courage to do so. Maybe because he was just overthinking-- that Luhan wasn’t really avoiding him. Or maybe, he was just afraid to find out the real reason why.

“Sehunnie? Is there a problem?”, Sehun looked behind him and saw another close co-member of his, Tao.

“Oh, Tao. It’s you.”

Tao sighed. “When will you ever call me hyung?”

Sehun laughed lightly and his lips curved into his famous smirk, “Only when those dark circles of yours disappear.”

“Aish, seriously. Oh, wait, I have something I really wanted to ask you.”

“Spill.”

“Did you and Lu-ge fight?”

Sehun was surprised big time. Did Tao notice the distance between me and Luhan hyung, too?

“What made you ask?”

“Well, I just noticed he’s spending a lot of time with Xiumin hyung lately.”

“Ohh.”, Sehun sighed. The sadness in Sehun’s face was very noticeable and Tao can’t help but to wonder what might have happened between Luhan and Sehun.

“Tao, can I ask you something?”

“Aish, I already told you it’s hyung.", Tao whined. "Anyway, what is it?”

“Is it wrong to fall in love?”

“Of course not! Who told yo--”

“With a guy?”

Tao was taken aback. Is Sehun serious? Is he sick? Is this the result of reading too many fanfictions?

“What made you ask, Sehunnie?”

Sehun was silent. He couldn’t dare to say, Yes, I am in love with Luhan hyung because he was afraid of what might Tao’s reaction be. The worst, Tao might feel disgusted and avoid him, too, and Sehun couldn’t afford losing a friend he really treasure. Not again.

“Is it Luhan hyung, Sehunnie?”

Sehun turned to look at Tao, not realizing tears were already flowing endlessly down his pale cheeks. Tao panicked. He did not expect to see Sehun cry.

“Sshh, Sehun, it’s okay.”, Tao whispered as he wiped Sehun’s fresh tears.

“Hyung, why does it have to be like this?” Sehun kept weeping.

“Everything has a reason, Sehunnie.”

Little did they know, a few meters away from where Sehun and Tao were staying, stood Luhan who was clutching tightly on his chest as he felt his heart shattering from the scene he was seeing. He was in pain; because it should have been him who was right there beside Sehun, comforting him. Because it should have been him who was hugging Sehun right now. Not Tao.

Isn’t this what you wanted, Han? To be away from Sehun? For all your stupid feelings to cease?

Luhan felt his cheeks got wet and that was when he realized he had shed some tears. He immediately lowered down his head and wiped the tears away. As he looked up again, he instantly regret doing so as he saw Tao and Sehun once again and his heart started to hurt even more.

If this is what I really wanted, why does it hurt so much?

-

Growl and Wolf promotions ended and this prompted the start of EXO’s preparation for their Christmas special comeback. Although EXO-M and K had reunited for this comeback, Luhan becoming distant to Sehun was still very obvious and Sehun could no longer tolerate what was happening. So he decided to confront Luhan after one of their practices.

“Hyung”, Luhan stopped. God knows how much he missed that voice.

He slowly turned around but decided not to look back at Sehun. And when Sehun started to walk towards him slowly, Luhan’s heart couldn’t calm down.

“Hyung”, Luhan’s gaze was everywhere but at Sehun. Sehun decided to hold the smaller’s face in between his hands and made him look at him. “Hyung, is there a problem?”

Luhan pushed Sehun’s hands away and averted his gaze. “No-nothing.”

“Then why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“Oh really? You’re not? You can’t even look at me straight in the eyes.”

Because I’m afraid I would give in, Sehun. I’m afraid my eyes would give away what my heart is screaming.

“I’m tired, Sehun. Let’s go home.”, Luhan was about to go when Sehun caught his wrist and pulled him to a hug-- a hug that screamed how much the younger one misses Luhan.

“Hyung, do you even have an idea how much I missed you? I think I’m going to lose my sanity, hyung. I’m going insane, thinking about all the possible reasons why you’re behaving this way, why you’re avoiding me. I don’t know if I did something wrong. If I hurt you. I have no idea what I did for you to do this.”

It was already too much for Luhan to take. He could no longer suppress what was boiling inside him. He pushed Sehun away and cried his heart out.

“You have no idea on what you did?”, Luhan yelled.

This took Sehun by surprise because never did Luhan try to yell at him. “Hyung...”

“You made me fall, Sehun! You made me fall in love with you! And I’m doing this because this isn’t right. We’re both guys, Sehun. I can’t fall in love with you. I shouldn’t! So please, just let me be. Just let me stay away.” Luhan was about to go but Sehun caught his wrist the second time around. This time, Sehun did not envelope him in his warmth. Sehun kissed Luhan instead.

Luhan’s eyes went wide when he felt Sehun’s lips moving against his. It felt like a dream-- a sweet dream which Luhan thought would only remain a dream. But it was happening. It was real.

Luhan slowly returned the kiss as soon as he processed everything that was happening. A few seconds later, they both parted and Sehun leaned his forehead on Luhan’s.

“Please don’t go away from me again, hyung. I might die not having you by my side. I love you, hyung. More than a friend could ever do.”

Luhan looked up and stared straight into Sehun’s eyes, shocked.

“Di-Did I hear it right, Sehunnie? Yo-You love me, too?”

Sehun smiled and pressed his lips unto Luhan’s the second time.

“Yes, hyung. Very much.”

-
Nobody could be happier than Sehun and Luhan now that they know how they feel for one another. They knew it was wrong. They knew it wasn’t right, it