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It was almost nine o’clock in the morning when I boarded off the train and took a cab. I went straight to my mother’s graveyard; clearly not minding the grumble inside my stomach and my started-to-dry throat. Gravely, I looked outside through the window; watching all the vehicles passing by with an absent mind. Now that I had some time to think, everything seemed to resurface inside my brain. Mom, Nayeon, Dad, Gaeun, Seungyoon and his friends, and along with my biggest concern as for now, which was Hanbin.

The whole idea of him lying was still so foreign to my brain. I just couldn’t think that he would actually do such a thing. The possible reasons for doing so, were still unreasonable for me. I, even couldn’t decipher it myself. Taking a deep breath, I shook all the worry, anxiety, confusion, and whatever negative feelings that filled my mind.

Seeing him all healthy and perfectly fit, I just couldn’t hide the fact that I felt wronged. He told me that he’d stay in bed and rest early, but what now? I then took out my phone and dialled his numbers while watching him from afar.

I saw Hanbin, whom amidst of conversation with his friends, distanced himself and went off for a calmer place before picked up my calls.

“Miss me, Sweetheart?”Hanbin said from the other side. Too irritated, I ignored his little remark; which was usually enough to make my heart melt.

“Where are you now?” I asked back, sternly. Hanbin paused for a brief moment before answered my question with his calm voice. “Resting. Why?” he casually said. I got upset even more. He still insisted in lying to me. Deep inside, I couldn’t pretend that the disappointment wasn’t there.

“Do you even trust me Hanbin?”

“Why are you asking such question?” He asked back instead of answering.

“Just answer me,” I insisted.

I heard him sighed. “Of course I do,” he softly said.

I just shook my head; while my eyes were b in hot tears. I hung up the call and shoved it back in to my pocket. I wiped away a tear that succeed in escaping my eyes. Yeah, he said he trusted me yet his actions show me otherwise. What is the point of a relationship if the persons can’t trust each other, right?

I decided to look for my cousin. But he was nowhere to be found. He didn’t tell me if he had a race today but maybe that was the case. I cursed lowly under my breath. Now I just wanted to cry even more. My heart and mind were refusing to dive in this chaos and mixed feelings. Seungyoon’s absence led me to a last option; Mino.

“Could you please take me home?” I asked him. Mino looked flabbergasted at my sudden appearance; asking him to send me back home out of nowhere. His expression softened, maybe he noticed that I was in the verge of crying. He asked nothing and just nodded his head. He bid his temporary goodbye before taking my hand and led me to his motorcycle.

“Are you okay?” He genuinely asked. I gave him a quick nod and immediately wore the helmet; hoping he’d known already that I didn’t want any mini-interview right at the moment.

A wave of emotions hit me like a tsunami. It washed me thoroughly that it made my eyes sweaty. I wasn’t really good at coping these kind of moments, where my emotions and feelings seemed to collide with each other. Happiness, sadness, joy, hurt, guilty, and all of these sensations; it all I felt it at once. Looking at the cars passing by, the streets, the buses, made me realize how I miss my birth town, how I never visited this city again after my mother died.

Five minutes later, the driver pulled the car to a stop. Finally, I was there; the graveyard where my mother took her final rest. I paid the driver and thanked him. He smiled and told me to stay strong which I replied with a smile.

I took a very deep breath; casting a spell for myself so I wouldn’t tear up in front of my mother. I fixed the strap of my bag on my left shoulder and walked. There were not much people there and it wasn’t hard to find my mother’s place. My steps slowed down at the sight of my mother’s tomb. Slowly, I kneeled down.

“Mom,” my voice cracked and I just couldn’t hold it anymore; so I broke down crying

I didn’t know how much time exactly I spent for venting my heart out but when my tears finally stopped flowing, my eyes were puffy and heavy; pointing out that I’d let good minutes for crying. The wind hit my cheeks softly, the gentle breeze knocked some sense back to my head.

Taking a deep breath, I straightened on my feet and placed the bouquet of roses neatly on my mother’s grave. Before feeling anymore attack on my poor feelings, I decided to call it a day and took my leave.

I spent the afternoon at a coffee shop fifteen minutes away from the bus stop. Rain was pouring heavily outside the glass window, just beside the seat I was having. My eyes fell to the steaming cup filled with hot chocolate in front of me. Mixed feelings occupied my chest, taking a good amount of space which was enough to suffocate me.

It was mostly Hanbin.

My heart and head were in hot mess because of him.

He made me terribly confused. His actions, his words seemed to be against each other and I couldn’t find which one was worthy to trust. His words were always going soft that I found myself drowned in his honey-like voice and words. His actions were always affectionate. Despite his coldness and his tough appearance, he never failed to make my heart melt because of his caring and loving actions.

But that was the case if he was with me.

It seemed like he had two different personalities; one was the one he always showed to me and the other one was the one when he wasn’t with me. And somehow, I had the feeling that the one side he showed when I wasn’t around was the most truthful. As if it was the real him instead. But I knew him nothing to judge. I’d only got to know him for these past few months. His friends knew better, I supposed.

I sighed tiredly, not knowing what to do in this situation because I was terribly confused.

“Are you okay Miss?” someone appeared out of nowhere and tapped my shoulder lightly; making me jumped out in surprise.

I turned my head around and saw a good looking young man stared down at me with anxiety written over his face.

“Huh?” I managed to say as my brain still unable to process his inquiry,

“Are you okay, Miss?” he repeated carefully.

Flabbergasted, I nodded my head at him. “Ye-yeah. Of course. Why not?” I forced a smile.

The stranger didn’t look convinced as he moved to occupy the vacant seat in front of me. I looked at him in confusion. What was he doing?

He pulled the chair and sat down. “Because you’ve been staring at your cup for more than thirty minutes, Miss.” He put down his blue cup on the table. “And I’m kind of worried. You can tell me if you have any problem, who knows I may help,” he offered kindly.

My eyes squinted at him. Why did this stranger care so much?

“I’m fine. Thanks for asking anyway.” I replied shortly. The stranger nodded his head, but not fully buying my excuse.

“Jung Jaehyun,” he mentioned, offering his right hand out.

I smiled awkwardly, as I took his hand for a brief handshake. “Han Yeonjoo.”

“The rain is pretty heavy, isn’t it?” he asked suddenly, his head turned to look outside the window.

Momentarily, I mirrored him; seeing both of us reflected on the glass window. Jaehyun was watching the rain intently; his eyes were dreamy and a small smile tugged on his lips. It was as if the rain brought him to some good memories or something.

“Yeah,” I managed to reply.

“I always love rain. Do you know why?” he asked, turning his attention to me. I shook my head slowly at him and he smiled, showing the dimples on both of his cheeks. “Because it gives me time to think clearly, to be grateful for everything I have in life. Rain is always peaceful, don’t you think so?”

I only looked at this stranger weirdly. I barely knew him but he somehow gained my respect and there was this small adoration I had for him; for the way he talked, the way he cared for someone he didn’t even know, and the way he appreciated things in life.

I nodded in agreement. “I do think so,” I said; earning another smile from him.

“Can I trust you?” I suddenly asked. Jaehyun took a sip of his cup and placed it back while nodding.

I sighed, taking a deep breath before I allowed myself to talk.

I told him about my problem, about Hanbin, about my insecurities, about my worries and everything. He listened to me attentively the whole time. His eyes focused solely on me as he took a sip few times from his cup. He nodded curtly couple of times but he gave no response, allowing me to finish the story.

“So, what do you think?” I asked him when I came to the end of my story.

Jaehyun hummed for a moment.

“First of all, you need to keep a positive mind here. From my point of view, both of you are in an early stage of relationship. Correct me if I’m wrong,” he said and I responded with shakes of head so he continued.

“It will take time for both of you to be fully open up with each other.  It’s normal for him to feel insecure since you just started dating and you might think of him in a negative way because of his hobby for street racing. Just understand him a little bit more. Give him some time. Don’t rush things,” he advised wisely.

I nodded, letting his words sank into my brain and into my heart.

Jaehyun was right. Gaeun was right. Everyone was right. I was the one who took these things too much. I should’ve been more understanding. Relationship needs time. He needed time.

“You are right. Thank you so much Jaehyun-ssi,” I tried my best to find a perfect word to express my gratitude but I thought just a thank you wasn’t enough to thank this stranger who kindly offered himself as a good listener.

Jaehyun smiled gently. “That’s nothing. I love helping people.”

“And strangers,” I added, making him grinned wider.

My eyes looked out to the pouring rain outside. It had subsided a lot but it was still raining nevertheless. I then looked at the clock from my wrist watch, it showed to me that it was almost 3 pm already.

“I think I better get going now,” I announced, standing up in the process. Jaehyun nodded and stood up himself.

“It’s really nice to meet you Jung Jaehyun,” I sincerely said.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” he mirrored my words.

After another handshake, he actually pulled me for a brief hug before letting me go and waved his hand. I waved back shortly before left the café and closed the door behind me. Fortunately for me that the bus stop was only a block away. Getting drenched a bit, I made it to the bus stop safely.

My bus came just 4 minutes after and I immediately hopped in to go to the railway station which was approximately ten minutes away.

Sitting down the bus, I took out my phone which I had it turned off right at the moment when I went to Daegu until now.

It turned out that I had few missed calls and plenty of texts coming from Hanbin.