“You aren’t going home?” Nayeon asked when she visited my class after school today. Her head peeked through the door cutely as both her hands grasped on the door frame. I shook my head in response, slinging the strap of my bag to one shoulder.

“Why?” she asked again when I walked out of the door.

I turned to face her. “I’m waiting for Hanbin. You can go first Unnie,” I told Nayeon with a smile. A doubt flashed on her face for a mere second but it soon replaced with a soft beam. I had the thought that she couldn’t fully let go of her suspicion towards Hanbin but she was willing to try because as she promised me before that she would try to like them for me.

“Okay then. I’m going first. Are you going for his class?” she inquired and I nodded. Shortly after, she bid her goodbye and took her leave. Wishing her a safe ride home, I waved my hand which she replied with the same actions but more vigorous. Once she was out of my sight, I started to walk to fetch Hanbin.

Usually, I would be waiting the classroom for Hanbin but this time, I decided to go to his class. There was no special reason or intention; I just wanted to do it. I clutched onto the straps of my bag as I walked through the empty classes. Hanbin usually comes around six minutes after the bell rings but it was already almost ten minutes after the bell chimed and there was no sign of him at all. I expected to meet him halfway but I didn’t and that means he was still in his class.

A sudden loud bump when I almost reach his class made me jump in surprise. What had happened? I questioned myself quietly. My senses were all in guard as I paced slower than before. My heart beat faster as I walked nearer to the source of the sound. It turned out that it was from his class, Hanbin’s.

I peeked through the door and saw the person I was waiting and looking for. I saw Hanbin there, leaning against the wall as he was being pressed by someone who was noticeably smaller. I focused on the other person who held Hanbin by his collar, trying to figure out who he was since he was back-facing me. But when he started to speak, I instantaneously knew who it was.

“Stop,” Jinhwan demanded with very strict voice. Hanbin didn’t respond as he only stared at Jinhwan with sharp eyes as if it was beaming with lasers. My eyebrows pressed together in confusion. Hanbin wouldn’t look at Jinhwan like that.

As Hanbin was unresponsive, Jinhwan carried on. “You know he didn’t mean it! Stop!” This time with much force in his speech, Jinhwan pushed Hanbin more to the wall. Hanbin flinched for a split second at the impulse. He slapped Jinhwan’s hand away vehemently; making him stumbled a bit to the back.

Both of them maintained eye-contact, Hanbin brushed the tip of his collar with a loud exhale. He walked closer to Jinhwan. My heart was drumming in such unexplainable rate. I felt this was even worse compared to whenever Hanbin made any physical contact with me.

“You know me better than that,” He stated; he wore a very scary poker face. This time, I heard Jinhwan sighed. Hearing no further response, Hanbin turned around and was about to walk towards the door. My eyes widened at the sight. He couldn’t catch me sneaking up like this.

As much as I wanted to escape right away, my curiosity nailed my feet on the ground. I kept on being frozen as I watched the scene.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” unlike the previous time, Jinhwan was talking with soft voice. It was filled with concern that anyone could easily tell.

I had no idea about the matter they were conversing about, the matter that got Jinhwan worried over Hanbin, but I did hope that Hanbin would listen to Jinhwan, for whatever reason it was. Jinhwan’s anxiety for his friends was something Hanbin should be grateful for. Hanbin stopped on his step at Jinhwan’s last remark. He twisted around and back into facing him.

I heard him scoffed. “Me? Getting hurt? I can take care of myself just fine. Go worry about someone else!”

My mouth fell agape at the words I just heard. Did Hanbin just say that? To one of his best friends? Was that something appropriate for you to say when someone was worrying over you? I believe it wasn’t. I couldn’t help but to feel a twinge of disappointment in my heart. I tried to not judge just based on what I saw when it was not even something I understand. However, the feeling refused to go away.

“The damage is already done. He can’t take back his words. I don’t take things lightly,” he calmly told Jinhwan but the warning was clearly spoken. “Now if you don’t mind, Yeonjoo is currently waiting for me.” At my name being mentioned, I quickly spun on my feet and ran back to exit the building; trying to be as soundless as possible.

I stopped running once I was ten meters away from my own building. I regained my breath at the same time my mind was processing everything I just saw and heard. Not an easy job obviously.

My breath was still uncollected when I heard someone called my name. “Yeonjoo?” I inhaled deeply and acted as normal as I could when I turned around to face someone I already expected.

“Hi!” was the only thing I could say.

Hanbin smiled as he walked closer to me. “Why are you here? And did you just run?”

I was caught off guard when the question flowed from his mouth. “Uh? Well, you can say that,” I stammered a bit. Since I couldn’t really lie, I hoped Hanbin would stop asking such questions.

“You shouldn’t run down to here, just wait for me in your class,” said Hanbin as we began walking towards the bus stop. I didn’t know what to respond thus I just nodded my head.

As we entered the bus, we took the vacant seats just beside each other. Hanbin let me sat beside the window. My eyes glued to the moving street I saw through the glass window. My mind strolled back to Hanbin and Jinhwan. The scene replayed in my mind; fresh and crystal clear as if it was happening right at that time before my eyes.

“Yeonjoo?” I felt a soft nudge on my arm. I turned my head to see Hanbin with raised brows.

“Yes?” I asked him.

Hanbin frowned at my response. “Is everything fine?” he asked. I could feel a sense of familiarity within the tone he used. It was the same tone with the tone Jinhwan used when he said he didn’t want Hanbin to get hurt. It filled with care.

I shook my head at him. “Nothing is wrong,” I replied. Hanbin was unconvinced but he shrugged the matter off.

He then grabbed my hand, wrapping it with his. That’s the time I realized that Hanbin’s hand felt different. Don’t get me wrong I mean it was rougher than the usual soft and warm I usually sensed. My eyes went down to our hands. I noticed Hanbin’s hand almost immediately. There was his palm, wrapped in white bandage, only leaving his five fingers uncovered.

I looked up to him; silently asking about what made his hand appeared to be the way it was. Hanbin understood quickly my unspoken inquiry and he just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry,” reassured Hanbin but it didn’t work. He suddenly leaned his head on my shoulders as I heard him humming in content and positioned his body in the most comfortable way.

If it was in normal situation, I’d have my heart flutter and my heart drummed like it was a bomb very ready to explode. But this wasn’t me in normal condition. My mind was too busy thinking and trying to place all the puzzles I got -that seemed to fit but also unfit- together. There was no big room to pay attention at my heart or feeling though I couldn’t deny the fact that the action indeed made my heart jumped since he was becoming even bolder.

And if it was his attempt to make me forget the previous topic, I’d like to say he succeeded.

Hanbin; he was very interesting to me now. I felt like I understand him completely yet I also felt like I knew him almost as if he was a stranger. He was very close yet very far. It was hard for me to comprehend. There seemed to be a lot of sides of him and I happened to be used with only one side. I was surprised when I discovered more.

Was it Jinhwan was talking about? The bandages around Hanbin’s palm? Did something happen on Sunday? Because it clearly wasn’t there on Saturday, last time I met him. Was he involved in a fight? Was it the thing that made Jinhwan worried?

I sensed it was the matter.

Now I became worried over him. I recounted he said something about the damages was done and he took something in serious way. Doesn’t that mean that he would get revenge to whoever the person that got him hurt? That meant there would be another fight; a fight he made himself involved. Of course Jinhwan would concern him. There was big chance he would get hurt.

My mouth was itching to tell Hanbin to burn whatever the idea going inside his mind. But undoubtedly I couldn’t do that without spoiling the fact I overheard his fight with Jinhwan to him. And I assumed it wouldn’t turn out good.

Maybe he was right, maybe Hanbin was right. I didn’t need to worry. He’s a man after all. He knew what he’s doing and I believed he could protect himself well.

But however, I really wanted to help Jinhwan persuading Hanbin that he should stop doing whatever he was doing at the moment because it was obviously hurt him physically. I planned to talk to Jinhwan; maybe I could give some help.

I relaxed more at thought of the plan, even though that means I had to expose about me eavesdropping them but I didn’t mind. It was better that Jinhwan knows rather than Hanbin. I wanted to help Jinhwan; I wanted to help Hanbin. I sighed with determination within me.

Just as the thought and worry about Hanbin now pushed aside, I finally noticed about the weight on my right shoulder. I became more and more aware to the fact that he was leaning on my shoulder. I couldn’t lie that it wasn’t burdening me because it was. My shoulder was stiff and my heart was going crazy inside at the contact but I didn’t dare to move; afraid I might disturb him or wake him up in case he had fallen asleep. Another sigh escaped my lips. It was still ten minutes before we reach my stop.

I didn’t know what was going on with me but unconsciously, I leaned my head on top of his. I gasped at my own action a mere second later. I pulled my head back as I felt a rush of embarrassment washed over me. Then Hanbin giggled which made me shy even more.

Han Yeonjoo… Get a grip of yourself!

---

If the bus trip was nerve-wrecking, the whole way to home was just practically the same. My mind was clouded the whole time we walked to my home. Gaeun’s words last night caused my head to be flooded with questions. It was better if I knew that no one would be able to provide answers for my curiosity because that way I’d forget the matter. But the fact that there was someone who definitely could answer me, made my throat so itchy to speak the question.

“Well… As far as I know, Hanbin never dated anyone in our school, nor did he show interest to any particular girl. I think you’re the first Yeonjoo,” Gaeun explained thoroughly.

I let her words sank into my mind. My head shook inevitably. I didn’t think it was possible. He was really natural doing all of the skinship. In my opinion, it’d only happen if he was used to it and that meant he did it long enough for it to be habitual.

“Are you sure? I mean, his actions were like he did it all the time,” I uttered. Gaeun pursed her lips in thought.

“I never heard any rumor about him with any girl, both inside or outside this school. People were too caught up in talking about his bad-boy activities,” she commented with a shrug. “Well, I obviously don’t know his past love life before high school. He probably had it back then.”

“Mind to share what’s inside your mind?” Hanbin’s voice woke me up from my little flashback. “You’ve been zooned a lot lately.” So he noticed.

Flustered, I turned my head away from him. “Nothing,” I answered in rush. Even though I said it was nothing, in fact, I was dying inside to ask Hanbin the same question I asked Gaeun last night.

I saw the sight of my home getting bigger and clearer in my eyes. I bit my lips in anxiety, my heart was pounding. Should I ask? Should I not? If I didn’t, I was sure it would bother me the all night and I wouldn’t be able to sleep. But if I did, what would he think about me? He might thought I liked him or something that I asked such a question.

I was so busy thinking, I didn’t realize until a second ago that my step was getting slower and slower.

Hanbin chuckled as he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. “There’s obviously something inside your head,” he said as a matter of fact.

Okay. This is it, I thought.

“Hanbin, can I ask you a question?” I asked carefully. Hanbin raised his eyebrow for a split second, a sign for me to continue.

I took a deep breath briefly. Okay Curiosity, I’ll feed you up.

“Hanbin, have you ever had a girlfriend or a girl you liked?” Hesitantly, I asked.

One corner of his lips tugged upward, making a small smile. Wait, or was it…smirk? I wasn’t sure. Hanbin paused few seconds before answered.

“It was really long time ago,” said him, eyes lost in his own thoughts. “Second year of middle school I think. There’s a girl I liked but just that,” he finished.

So Gaeun was true. He never had been in any relationship during high school. He only had crush, and it was only once back then before he entered high school. Then where did this making-physical-contact ability comes from? It seemed like he was just experienced as much as I was since we never had special acquaintances. That ability definitely didn’t appear out of nowhere.

“Why’d you ask?” asked him back.

I slowly shook my head. “Just curious.”

“But I think I’ll get one soon enough,” he suddenly announced. My head spun towards him in surprise. I looked at him wide-eyed. Hanbin looked at me shortly before laughed, more to his own words. He didn’t say anything after and we just walked closer to my house.

My pounding heart before I asked Hanbin, now pounded even more. I didn’t know. His statement was just so vague. It was direct yet indirect at the same time. Was it my fault if I thought he was hinting something about something? And that something was… Well. Okay, I need to stop this. No one could be sure what those words meant. I’d just wait since I believed it would be revealed soon.

"Thanks for sending me home again," I said thankfully. I walked through the gate and faced Hanbin who was standing outside.

He gave me nods and warm smile. “Anytime Yeonjoo…”

I nodded gratefully. “See you tomorrow,” I bid him goodbye.

He hummed in agreement. “Look, about what I said previously; don’t think about it too much. You’ll know in no time.”

I scoffed mentally at his comforting words. You’ll know in no time. Sure Hanbin, after you said that, I wouldn’t think about it anymore. Sure.

I decided to end it there and went inside, not forgetting to wave Hanbin beforehand.

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