Jihoon has his feet propped up on Joshua’s coffee table, a bowl of ice cream plopped in his hands. It’s melting now, dripping down the sides and falling onto the tips of his fingers, but Jihoon doesn’t seem to notice as he frowns at Joshua. His eyes aren’t as tired anymore, Joshua notices. Still sad, barely, but no longer dead.

            “So you called me over,” he’s saying, “because Jeonghan kissed you and then ran away?”

            Joshua nods, sticking his own spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. “Basically – yeah. I don’t know what to do? I’m very confused by the whole thing.”

            The ice cream runs down to Jihoon’s knuckle and he finally decides to set the bowl down on the coffee table. He leans back against the couches, his eyes curious as he says, “And you said he saw your mark?”

            Joshua nods, his spoon. “Yep, he pulled my collar down and saw it. Like he knew it was there.” He notices Jihoon’s strange look and set his spoon down into his bowl, his lips. “What?” he asks.

            Jihoon raises a brow. “You seem very calm about the whole thing. I mean, Jeonghan kissed you.”

            He smiles, remembering the feeling of Jeonghan’s lips pressed against his. “Yes.”

            “And then he ran away.”

            “Yeah.”

            Jihoon sighs, shaking his head. “Why aren’t you freaking out?”

            Joshua blinks. “I freaked out by myself for an hour before I called you over, Jihoonie. I did my freaking out. Now, I’m just calm. Jeonghan will come back when he’s ready. I don’t want to pressure him to do anything.”

            “Don’t you get it?” Jihoon says. “He knows you’re soulmates. He knew where to look for your mark, Joshua. That probably means he has a mark too.”

            Joshua ducks his head, trying not to grin. “I thought about that too. I know Jeonghan, and I think he needs time to process this right now. I don’t know how he feels right now, but I’m sure he’ll come to me when he’s ready.”

            Jihoon frowns. “You sound very positive about that.”

            Joshua lets a wide smile cross his lips. “I’m an optimist, Jihoon. You should try it sometime.”

            Jihoon rolls his eyes, snorting. “Pass. I’ve learned to expect the worst in people. Too many let downs, you know?” He looks at Joshua and rolls his eyes. “Drop the look, Joshua. I’m over what happened with us already.”

            He winces. “Sorry.” He eyes Jihoon, who took off his sweater to reveal a short sleeve shirt, thus exposing his mark. He eyes the name on Jihoon’s skin and finds himself asking, “So, have you talked to Seungcheol?”

            Jihoon freezes and when he finally looks at Joshua, his mouth is in a tight line and his eyes are glaring. “I forgave you, Joshua. Don’t push it.”

            He smiles tightly, bringing a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. “Okay, okay. I’m keeping quiet. I just wanna say, really quickly, that you guys are mates for a reason. Don’t you think that counts for something?”

            “No,” he says truthfully, “I don’t. I don’t think it has to mean anything at all if I don’t want it to. I’m happy – or at least, I’m trying to be. I don’t need a mate for that.” He reaches out to shove at Joshua’s arm, causing the older boy to drop ice cream on his hands. “Can we talk about something else please? Like how you’re gonna try to fix things with Jeonghan? He probably feels deceived because you didn’t tell him your Korean name, idiot.”

            “That’s not my fault,” Joshua mumbles as he brings his hand up so he can the ice cream off the back of his palm. “I didn’t think it was important. Besides, he left his phone here, so I can’t contact him.”

            “He’s probably with Jun and Minghao again, don’t you think?”

            “Oh, I know he is.” Joshua grins sheepishly at Jihoon’s look. “I sort of texted Minghao so he can keep me updated on whether Jeonghan is okay or not. According to Minghao, Jeonghan went to their apartment and hasn’t stopped looking out the window. He’s coping, I think.”

            Jihoon runs a hand over his face, groaning. “You guys are so weird. But to each their own, I guess.”

            The knock comes unexpected. Joshua and Jihoon glance at the door curiously. Joshua stands up, grabs a napkin from the table to wipe his hands on, and goes to open the door. When he opens the door, he’s extremely surprised to find Chan behind the door.

            Chan looks up at Joshua and he tries to smile, but it’s forced on his lips. “Hi hyung. I know I said I wouldn’t join you guys for dinner anymore, but I just…” He takes a deep breath and blinks slowly. “I just canceled my plans with Vernon.”

            “Um,” Joshua blinks slowly, unsure. Something about Chan looks off. He looks dejected, a certain sadness hovering on his smile. “Sure, you can come in. But Jeonghan’s not here.”

            “He’s not?” Chan asks, but he kicks his shoes off and comes in anyway. He looks surprised to see Jihoon there, but he doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, he points as Jihoon’s discarded bowl of ice cream and says, “Can I have that?”

            Jihoon eyes Chan, his eyes going sad and he nods slowly. Chan grabs the bowl, plopping down on the couch and slumping in the seats. He eats slowly, frowning at the floor. Joshua carefully sits next to him, placing a hand on Chan’s knee. Chan doesn’t even look up.

            “Hey, are you okay?”

            Chan frowns deeper. He doesn’t answer Joshua, but he says, “Do you know where Seungkwan-ssi is tonight?”

            “Uh,” Joshua is thrown off by the question, “no. I didn’t work today and he hasn’t texted me. Why?”

            Chan hums. “He wasn’t with Vernon-hyung.”

            “That’s a good thing, no?” Joshua asks. “That means you could have hung out with Vernon alone – like you wanted.”

            Jihoon looks at Chan closely and then his eyes widen and his mouth drops open, like something just dawned on him. Joshua throws him a look, trying to show that he has no idea what’s going on right now. Jihoon shoves at Chan’s knee, causing Chan to grumble as he shifts away from the small boy. Jihoon just leans forward and grabs onto Chan’s knee. “Chan,” he says in a clear and loud voice, “what did you do?”

            Chan looks down at his ice cream bowl, his cheeks reddening. Joshua is extremely confused by what’s going on. “I kissed Vernon.”

            Joshua chokes on air. “You what?!”

            He averts his eyes. “I kissed Vernon,” he repeats in a clearer voice. He looks Joshua in the eyes and says, “I kissed Vernon and I… I…. didn’t like it. Like, at all.”

            “What?” is the only thing Joshua can seem to say.

            “I just… everyone thought we would be mates, you know? And then Seungkwan came around and Vernon stopped spending time with me. I hated it and I thought I was jealous, you know? It would make sense. So I kissed him, to see if I liked it or if I had feelings for him. And it made me realize that I just missed him as a best friend. But I just messed everything up.”

            “Oh my god,” Joshua says. “Chan, you know Seungkwan is my friend too, right? I don’t know what to tell you.”

            “I didn’t come here for advice,” Chan points out. “I just needed to come cope with everything. I know I have to apologize to Vernon and Seungkwan.” Chan waves a hand. “I’ll do it later.”

            Joshua blinks as both Jihoon and Chan settle back into the couch cushions. They give him a look and Joshua sighs as he settles back with them. Okay, so that was unexpected, he thinks. But then again, with the day he’s been having, maybe this isn’t so strange.

⚘❁⚘

            After two weeks of no word from Jeonghan, Joshua is restless. He knows that Jeonghan is okay, of course, thanks to Minghao’s text updates, but the fact that Jeonghan’s hasn’t sought him out is driving him crazy. The worst thing is that he could just go and speak to Jeonghan, but every time he brings it up, Minghao will text back with It’s not time yet, just give it a while.

            So he keeps waiting.

            And waiting.

            And waiting.

            Jihoon laughs at him when he goes to visit Jeonghan. To make matters worse, Mingyu and Wonwoo have seemed to made up already (which makes Joshua happy), but they’re so cute that it makes Joshua want to gag. It’s different from the first time they dated, they’re a little subtler about their relationship, but the other changes are huge.

            “Sorry, I’m taken,” Mingyu will smile when people try to flirt with him and get his number. They walk in holding hands, and when they leave, Mingyu will wrap Wonwoo up in his arms and kiss his temple.

            Even Seungkwan and Vernon are okay, which is surprising to Joshua. He knows that Seungkwan knows that Chan and Vernon kissed, because as soon as he had seen Joshua, Seungkwan had exclaimed, “I know that your baby kissed my boyfriend.”

            Joshua had winced. “I’m sorry? Please don’t hate him.”

            Seungkwan had blinked in surprise. “Hate him? I don’t hate him. All three of us are having dinner this weekend.”

            And it ing , because Joshua feels like his life is the only one who’s still not resolved. When he voices this out to Jihoon, Jihoon raises a brow and nudges him. “Hello, have you forgotten me?” Jihoon will ask. “I’m still single.”

            So – okay, maybe it’s not just Joshua, but it sure does feel like that sometimes.

            He feels like he’s back to before he even met Jeonghan, because the silence that greets him when he gets home rings louder than anything. Jeonghan’s things are still scattered around the apartment. Joshua will find hair ties and old shirts of his that he hasn’t worn in a while behind the couches, or between his headrest and the wall. Joshua has even charged Jeonghan’s phone and cleaned the makeshift room that Jeonghan has made for himself in Joshua’s living room. He’s folded all the clothes and washed all the sheets and they all sit in the corner of his living room, neatly waiting for its owner to come back.

            Soonyoung clamps a hand on Joshua’s back, bringing Joshua out of his daydream. Joshua turns his head, turning to look at Soonyoung. He’s grinning widely and Joshua tries to smile back, but it must not work out very well because Soonyoung sighs and squeezes next to where Joshua is leaning on the counter. Their hips bump together.

            “How’s Jeonghan?”

            “I don’t know,” Joshua mumbles darkly. “He hasn’t come back home.”

            Soonyoung frowns, running a hand through his hair. “Well, he has to come home eventually, right? He’s your mate.”

            And that’s another thing – Joshua told all his friends the truth. He figured that Jeonghan knew already, so there’s no point to hide it anymore. That had been an interesting day. Mingyu had dropped a tray full of pastries, Wonwoo just raised his eyebrows in surprise, Soonyoung had squealed with Seokmin, and Seungkwan had rolled his eyes as he said, “Obviously he’s your mate, hyung. You’ve been in love with him since before I even worked here. Honestly.”

            Joshua sighs, shaking his head as he turns to look at Soonyoung. His eyes travel down to Soonyoung’s mark. “I don’t know anymore,” Joshua admits. “I thought he would come when he’s ready. But it’s been a long time. And what if he doesn’t want me anymore? Jeonghan always says that one of his regrets is that he was never alone. He’s been with someone his entire life, maybe he doesn’t want to be with me.”

            “That’s very negative,” Soonyoung quips. He reaches out to plant an arm around Joshua’s hips, tugging him closer. “Come on, chin up. Just give him a little time. He’ll come around, I’m sure.”

            And to Joshua’s surprise, he goes home after that shift to find Jeonghan sitting on is couch.

            Jeonghan’s eyes cut to Joshua and he stands up quickly, his back taut. “Jisoo,” he says.

            Joshua’s eyes cut to the corner of his living room, where the clothes and sheets no longer lay. His apartment is clean now, bare of any sign that Jeonghan was even there at all. It makes his heart sink and he gets a horrible, sickening feeling spread through his chest. After weeks of waiting, Joshua never expected the second time they meet up to be like this.

            “Jeonghan,” Joshua responds.

            “We have to talk,” Jeonghan says.

            “Okay,” Joshua responds and he closes the door behind him, taking his time to neatly place his shoes in the closet by the door. Once he’s hung his coat up neatly, he turns to Jeonghan. This whole thing feels like a breakup, and Joshua wants nothing more than to hide, but instead he takes a seat on his couch and looks at Jeonghan.

            Jeonghan avoids his eyes. It’s not a good sign.

            He opens his mouth, but Jeonghan curls his hands into fists and plants them on his knees and then he’s looking at Joshua like he did before he kissed him that day – determined, with eyes blazing. What he says throws Joshua completely off guard, because it’s not what he was expecting at all.

            “I want you to take me to Jihoon’s house because I have to talk to him.”

            “What?”

            Jeonghan sighs. “I need to go to Jihoon’s house and I’m not too sure where he lives, because he’s never invited me over. Can you take me? I have to talk to him before…” He doesn’t finish, but his eyes cut to Joshua, pleading. “Please.”

            “Um,” Joshua stands up. “Okay? Let me just get out of my work clothes and we can be on our way.”

            When Joshua comes back out of his room in sweats and an old shirt, he finds Jeonghan in the same position he left him. Jeonghan glances at Joshua, his eyes scanning his body and a small grin takes over his lips as he stands up. He clears his throat and gestures for Joshua to walk forward.

            The walk to Jihoon’s apartment is awkward, to say the least, but Jeonghan doesn’t seem to want to make conversation so he just stuffs his hands in his pockets and leads the way. He punches in the familiar code and leads the way towards the elevator and Jeonghan speaks for the first time in minutes’ as he looks around the lobby, saying, “Jihoon’s apartment building is really nice.”

            “Yeah,” Joshua says, and that’s the extent of their conversation.

            They shuffle off the elevator together and Joshua catches sight of a familiar tall, dark haired man making his way past them, Joshua recognizes him as Jihoon’s neighbor and he guesses he must recognize him too because he waves at Joshua briefly as he steps into the elevator.

            They walk down the hall and Jeonghan hurries beside Joshua. “You must have come here a lot, huh? Who was that?”

            Joshua looks at him out of the corner of his eye. Jeonghan isn’t looking at him, instead looking straight ahead, but he has his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. He looks absolutely breathtaking, to be honest. “He’s Jihoon’s neighbor,” Joshua finally responds. “I only saw him once.”

            “Oh,” Jeonghan says and Joshua subconsciously reaches out to wrap an arm around his forearm when Jeonghan walks right past Jihoon’s apartment. Jeonghan falters, his eyes falling to where Joshua is holding him. Joshua immediately lets go.

            “We’re here,” he says. He points to the door in front of him. “This is his apartment.”

            “Oh.” He bites his lip and flutters his lashes, looking at Joshua with hooded eyes. “Do you mind staying out here while I talk to him? It’ll be really quick, I promise. And then we can talk, because I feel like there’s a lot of things we have to talk about.”

            Joshua swallows past the lump in his throat. “Yeah, I’ll wait out here.”

            Jeonghan nods curtly and then he reaches forward and knocks sharply on the door. He can hear Jihoon moving inside and he hears Jihoon’s many locks slide open and he cracks his door open slightly. Jihoon sticks his head out, his eyes widening and then his brows furrowing as he looks from Joshua to Jeonghan.

            “Um,” he says in confusion, “hi?”

            Jeonghan grins, wringing his hands together in front of him. “Hi, do you mind if I come in? I have to talk to you.”

            Jihoon looks at Joshua, seeming to want an explanation, but all Joshua does is shrug because he doesn’t know what’s happening either. It makes Jihoon frown deeper and he opens his door wider, gesturing for Jeonghan to walk in. “Sure, come in.”

            He looks confused when Joshua stays outside. He leans his head out to whisper. “What’s going on, Joshua?”

            Joshua leans forward to whisper back. “I don’t know, but I’m staying out here.” He shoves at Jihoon’s chest to push him in. “Jeonghan is waiting for you, hurry up.”

            Jihoon raises his brow and Joshua notices for the first time that Jihoon is wearing a loose, short-sleeved shirt and a pair of long pajama bottoms. Jihoon has a pair of fuzzy socks covering his feet and he shuffles in place when Joshua notices them.

            “I don’t know what’s happening right now,” he says.

            “Me neither.”

            “Jihoon?” they hear Jeonghan call from inside the apartment.

            “Coming!” Jihoon calls back. He points a finger at Joshua. “You better explain to me what the hell is going on afterwards, okay?”

            “I don’t know what’s going on!” Joshua hisses as Jihoon slides the door shut. Joshua blinks at the closed door, blinking slowly to himself. He figures he’s going to be there for a while anyway, so he slides down on the floor and rests his head against the wall.

            He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he feels someone lightly shake his shoulder. Joshua jerks awake, his head snapping up and connecting with a pair of big, brown eyes. He blinks slowly, rubbing a hand against his eyes. “Jeonghan?”

            Jeonghan nods, holding his hand out so Joshua can take it. Joshua places his hand in Jeonghan’s and allows himself to be pulled up. His hand tingles where he touches Jeonghan, but Jeonghan slides his palm away and places his hands in his pockets. “We can head home now, I’m done.”

            Joshua blinks. “What did you guys talk about?”

            Jeonghan grins secretly and Joshua notices that he doesn’t look as scared anymore. He’s more open, warm. “I’ll tell you later,” he says. He reaches out to hook an arm around Joshua’s. “Let’s get you home and in bed.” Jeonghan tugs him forward, starting to walk. “Do you work tomorrow?”

            “No,” Joshua yawns. “I’m not tired, you can talk to me now.” Because Joshua doesn’t want to say, but he’s dying to know what Jeonghan is up to.

            Jeonghan laughs. “You’re practically dead on your feet. Don’t fight with your hyung, brat.”

            Joshua sighs at the term, letting his eyes flutter shut. He bends so he can rest his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder. “Hmm,” he hums sleepily. “I missed you.”

            He hears Jeonghan’s breathe hitch. “I missed you too,” Jeonghan says softly and none of them speak after that. Joshua trusts Jeonghan to get him home safely, so he keeps his eyes closed on the way home, only opening them when the harsh light of his apartment lobby forces him to. Jeonghan places an arm on Joshua’s elbow, guiding him to the elevator.

            By the time Joshua’s apartment door is in view, Joshua practically has to be carried by Jeonghan. It’s a good thing he’s so skinny, he thinks, because he’s leaning heavily on Jeonghan’s side. Jeonghan doesn’t seem to mind; instead, he wraps an arm around Joshua’s waist and tugs him closer, lifting him slightly so he can walk easier.

            Joshua doesn’t even remember getting to his bed, but he snuggles underneath the blanket, Jeonghan making sure that his shoulders are covered. When he’s satisfied, Jeonghan takes a step back, getting ready to leave, but Joshua brings a hand out from underneath the covers to circle around Jeonghan’s wrist.

            “Stay,” he mumbles in a haze. He’s so sleepy, nothing feels real right now.

            Jeonghan freezes, looking down at Joshua with soft eyes. He takes a deep breath and nods quickly, crawling underneath the blanket. He doesn’t even bother to change, pressing the harsh material of his sweater against Joshua’s side. Joshua lets himself cuddle into Jeonghan’s body, throwing one leg over Jeonghan’s.

            If he were more himself, he wouldn’t do this. But he shifts so he has an arm thrown over Jeonghan’s chest, their legs entwined. He lets his palm rest over Jeonghan’s heart, where he suspects his name is curling on Jeonghan’s skin.

            “You have my name, don’t you,” he mumbles, his fingers curling around the material of Jeonghan’s sweater.

            He doesn’t expect Jeonghan to answer, but his voice is quiet as he responds. “Yes.” He wiggles his arm and wraps it around Joshua, pulling him closer. His fingers are cold as he runs them down Joshua’s side. “And you have my name.”

            Joshua hums, nuzzling into Jeonghan’s chest. “I do,” he whispers. His eyes feel so heavy and he knows he won’t be awake for much longer. “I’ve had your name since I was eighteen.”

            Jeonghan’s breath catches in his throat and his fingers still on Joshua side. “You’ve always had my name?”

            “Always,” Joshua whispers back. “I always knew you were mine – and I was yours.” He lets out a sigh, the edges of his mind fading to black. “But you had Seungcheol so I couldn’t say anything.”

            Jeonghan’s chest shakes underneath Joshua and he squeezes him tightly. Joshua feels the slight pressure of lips pressing against his hair and Jeonghan’s breath blows his hair as he whispers, “Go to sleep, Jisoo. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

            And Joshua doesn’t have to be told twice – he slips into the best sleep he’s ever had in his life. He dreams about Angels with pretty smiles and shining eyes and his dreams are always the favorite part of his day, because in his dreams, Jeonghan loves him back.

a/n: thank you guys for your kind words! there's probably like two chapters left of this story, plus the epilogue! thank you guys so much on the feedback to my new story! love you all :)