Mingyu only wakes up because he feels his bed dip underneath him, signifying that someone has taken a seat beside him. This is alarming because he’s pretty sure that he locked his front door, but the pressure and warmth coming from beside him lets him know that he’s not alone. He jerks awake, blinking slowly as the first thing he takes notice of is soft, reddish brown hair.

            Seungkwan flips the page of the book in his hands, scanning the words on the page. He doesn’t greet Mingyu, instead he turns the page and says, “I would say you have good taste, but it’s obvious that this is Wonwoo-hyung’s.”

            Mingyu frowns and is about to ask what he’s doing there, but he’s distracted by the sound of something slamming outside his room. His bedroom door is kicked open soon after and in walks Soonyoung, with a plate of food in his hands. He’s picking it up with his hands and stuffing it in his mouth, sitting down beside Seungkwan as if Mingyu isn’t even there.

            “What is that?” Seungkwan asks, shutting the book softly and letting it rest beside him. Mingyu glances down at the cover and feels his heart lurch because Seungkwan was right – it is Wonwoo’s.

            “I found this in the fridge,” Soonyoung speaks. “It’s good, you want some?”

            “Guys,” Mingyu says as he finds his voice. Both boys ignore him, instead picking at the plate of food, so Mingyu tries again. “Guys.” When they both turn, Mingyu frowns at them. “What are you guys doing here? How’d you even get in my apartment?”

            Seungkwan his lips, finishing a bite. He leans against Soonyoung, glancing at Mingyu out of the corner of his eye. “You left the front door unlocked. Idiot.”

            “Oh,” Mingyu frowns. He was pretty sure he locked it, but then again, he can’t be too sure. He’s too busy wallowing in his own self-pity to really pay attention to anything he does anymore, really. “But what are you guys doing here?”

            “We’re here to help you stop being a jackass,” Soonyoung quips with a huge grin.

            “What?”

            “No offense,” Seungkwan says, “but can you wash up before we continue this conversation? Not that you seem dirty or anything, but… gross.”

            After Mingyu grumbles some choice words under his breath and manages to slide from his bed, he goes to freshen up just like Seungkwan asked. He brushes his teeth and washes his face and even has a quick shower before he steps back out of his room, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

            Soonyoung whistles under his breath as Mingyu steps out, his lips quirked in amusement. Seungkwan looks less than impressed, choosing instead to avert his eyes as a blush overcomes his cheeks.

            “Giving us a striptease?” Soonyoung teases. He’s already finished the plate of food he had earlier, placing the empty plate on Mingyu’s bedside table.

            Mingyu feels more like himself, so he rolls his eyes as he runs a hand through his hair. The towel falls slightly, resting right on his hips. Mingyu clambers over to his dresser, taking out clothes. “You guys were the ones who came into my house, invading my privacy.” He turns to raise a brow at the pair, but they’re not looking at his face anymore.

            Seungkwan is staring at his hipbone, a curious look on his face. Soonyoung is also staring at his hips, his mouth dropped open. Mingyu glances down and sees Wonwoo’s name sitting comfortably on his right hipbone and his shoulders slump as the reality of his situation hits him again.

            He adjusts the towel on his hips, making sure to cover his mark. He clears his throat awkwardly. “Guys,” he says, “can you please stop looking at me like that?”

            “Sorry,” Soonyoung blinks slowly. “I mean, it’s just… Wonwoo told us you guys were mates, but… Seeing it in real life is different than hearing about it.”

            Mingyu feels his heart clench at the mention of Wonwoo. He knows he has no right to ask this, but he opens his mouth and asks anyway. “How is he?”

            Seungkwan glares at him and his tone is clipped as he says, “Terrible, thanks to you.”

            Mingyu drops the shirt he has in his hands. “You don’t understand, Seungkwan.” He sighs. “It’s complicated.”

            “Then help me understand,” he says, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrow defiantly. “Why would you make Wonwoo feel like when I’m pretty sure that you’re in love with him?”

            “It’s not that simple.” Mingyu replies back.

            “Why not?!” Seungkwan responds, looking frustrated beyond belief.

            “Because, what does it matter if I’m in love with him if I’ve hurt him so much already? Seungkwan, you don’t understand! He was my mate the entire time and I was ing people, shoving my relationships in his face like it was no big deal! I don’t deserve him! He deserves better than me!” Mingyu runs a frustrated hand through his hair, tugging at the strands. “And can we please not have this fight while I’m ?”

            To Mingyu’s surprise, Seungkwan grins. “So you love Wonwoo-hyung?”

            Mingyu gives him a heated look. “Of course I do, but that’s not the point–”

            Seungkwan jumps up, pulling Soonyoung up with him. “Great! That makes our job easier! You can get dressed now, we have someplace to go.”

            “Wait, your job? What does that mea–” Soonyoung throws him a withering look, which makes Mingyu clamp his mouth shut. “Okay, okay, I’ll get dressed.”

            “Wear something nice,” Seungkwan yells back as he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

            Mingyu grumbles under his breath as he starts looking through his clothes once more. “Everything I wear is nice,” he tells himself. Just to spite Seungkwan, he pulls out a plain t-shirt and some jeans.

            Later, when he’s standing in front of the café – where he can clearly see Wonwoo standing behind the counter – Mingyu wishes he would have listened to Seungkwan and worn something other than his ripped jeans and a faded shirt with his high-tops. It doesn’t exactly seem like he put in an effort.

            Seungkwan is already about to stride in, his hand hooked with Soonyoung’s, but Mingyu reaches out to tug at the younger boys sleeve, pulling him back. Seungkwan gives him an innocent look, blinking slowly at him.

            “Why are we here?” Mingyu hisses. His eyes don’t leave Wonwoo, who is leaning behind the counter and tapping at the surface. His eyes look dead and he seems to be looking at nothing, his head propped in one of his hands. There’s purple underneath his eyes, a grey tint to his skin, and a hollowness to his cheeks and eyes that makes Mingyu frown.

            “We’re obviously here to help you get Wonwoo back,” Soonyoung says like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

            “You didn’t tell me that’s what we were doing!”

            “Would you have come with us if we told you?” Seungkwan raises a brow and Mingyu keeps quiet because no, he wouldn’t have.

            “Look,” Soonyoung sighs, walking back towards Mingyu. He’s shorter than Mingyu, obviously, but he seems bigger than him right now. Mingyu is cowering, looking down at his fingernails. “We don’t see the point in this. Why are you hurting yourself and Wonwoo by being mad at him?”

            “I’m not mad at him,” Mingyu whispers. “Is that what he thinks?”

            “Well what else is he supposed to think?” Seungkwan snorts. He reaches out and flicks Mingyu’s forehead. “You told him to get out of your apartment when you found out you were mates and then you ignored him for weeks. That doesn’t exactly seem like a happy reaction.”

            “He deserves better than me,” Mingyu says quietly. It’s why he hasn’t spoken to Wonwoo lately; he figured he should give the other boy a chance to find someone better – someone who’s not as ed up as Mingyu is, someone who doesn’t have a past filled with broken hearts and empty promises that resulted in nothing but meaningless . Wonwoo deserves better than him, he should get a chance to have a better life.

            “Shouldn’t you let Wonwoo decide what he wants?” Soonyoung asks in a soft voice, like he doesn’t want to startle Mingyu.

            “Why would he want me?” Mingyu asks harshly. “I’m… nothing, and he’s everything. I’ve done nothing but hurt him. And you know what the worst thing is? I hurt him because I was afraid of falling in love, but I fell in love with him anyway. I was so stupid.”

            “Listen, hyung,” Seungkwan says. He reaches out and grabs Mingyu’s hands, causing Mingyu to turn to him. Seungkwan looks at him with a soft smile, and his smile is sincere as he says, “You’re a ing idiot.”

            “Thanks,” Mingyu says dryly.

            “No, listen to me,” Seungkwan says. “You’re a ing idiot, but Wonwoo seems to like you anyway. You make each other happy, and that makes everyone else happy. Mingyu, who gives a about the past? You don’t live there, you live in the now. Maybe those people were just lessons you needed to go through so you can know how to love Wonwoo properly, or, I don’t know, maybe they helped you grow as a person. But don’t make yourself miserable because you’re scared now. You deserve to be happy, and so does Wonwoo, and you can be happy together.”

            Mingyu looks at Seungkwan with a surprised expression. Soonyoung looks at him like he’s proud.

            Seungkwan gives them both a look, raising a brow. “What?”

            “That was beautiful,” Soonyoung says as he wipes a fake tear from his eye. “Absolutely beautiful.”

            Seungkwan turns pink and he bumps his hip with Soonyoung. “Shut up, I was just taking a page out of your book.” He clears his throat and looks at Mingyu expectantly. “So? Are you going in or what?”

            “Now? You want me to tell him right now?”

            “No time like the present,” Soonyoung says, practically bouncing on his toes in excitement. He places his hands on Mingyu’s back and shoves, “Now go get ‘em!”

            Mingyu stumbles in, the bell dinging above his head, and he places his hands in front of him to steady himself. He bumps into a table, hitting his knee on the edge of the table and he curses to himself as he brings a hand to cup his injury.

            “Mingyu?” a voice says and Mingyu glances up to see Wonwoo standing on the other side of the counter, looking at him with a concerned expression. “Are you okay?”

            Mingyu feels his heart beating fast in his chest and he hurriedly drops his hands and stands up to his full height. “I’m fine,” he says in a rushed voice.

            “Oh,” Wonwoo slumps, his eyes taking that blank state again. “Okay.”

            Mingyu clears his throat, feeling something crawl up his spine as he takes in the state that Wonwoo is in. He looks tired, like he hasn’t slept in years or eaten properly in a while. It makes his breath catch in his throat. He did this to him? He made him into this emotionless zombie?

            “Can we talk?” Mingyu says and then winces at what he just said. Can we talk has generally been known as a break-up statement. Wonwoo seems to know this because his shoulders slump even more, if possible, and he looks at Mingyu like he would rather be anywhere but here.

            “Okay,” Wonwoo says shakily and Mingyu hates it. His shoulders tremble as he leans against the counter. His eyes haunt Mingyu, and Mingyu vows right then and there that he’ll spend the rest of his life making sure there’s always that fire in Wonwoo’s eyes from now on. Well, if Wonwoo will still want him, that is.

            “Um,” Mingyu clears his throat. Why can’t this be easier? “Doyoon told me you came looking for me.”

            Wonwoo looks away and his voice sounds like he’s reliving the memory as he responds. “Yeah,” he whispers softly. “You know, you never told me that Doyoon was the guy you dated.”

            Mingyu flinches as if Wonwoo is accusing him. “I didn’t think it was important.”

            Wonwoo shakes his head, still not looking at Mingyu. “Right. It wasn’t important.” He glances at Mingyu and then looks away. “Did you want to tell me that we’re broken up? Because I already know, you don’t have to tell me. And if you want, I’ll get another job – you worked here first anyway, so I should be the one who leaves. Its only fair.”

            “What?”

            Wonwoo looks at him with such sad and dejected eyes that Mingyu feels like crying. He hates himself in that moment, looking at Wonwoo and what he’s made him become. “I can leave,” Wonwoo whispers, “if that’ll be better for you.”

            “I don’t want you to leave.”

            Wonwoo recoils like the statement physically hurts him. His eyes shut, so he misses the small step that Mingyu takes forward. God, Mingyu thinks, he just wants to hold Wonwoo and apologize for all the he’s put him through. Wonwoo sounds pained as he says, “Please don’t say that.”

            Mingyu takes another step forward, his fingers twitching. “It’s the truth, I don’t want you to leave.”

            “You hate me,” Wonwoo whispers. “You hate me because I – because I lied to you. You told me to leave you alone.”

            “I was stupid,” Mingyu responds. Another step closer. “I never should have told you to leave.”

            Wonwoo looks up at him. “It’s okay, Mingyu. I get it. I really do. You don’t have to do this.”

            “No,” responds Mingyu, taking another step forward until he’s in front of Wonwoo. He hears the catch in Wonwoo’s breath and he wants to reach up and cup his cheek, but he can’t. Not yet. “You don’t get it.”

            “I hurt you,” Wonwoo says softly.

            “I hurt you,” Mingyu counters. it, he thinks and he brings up a hand to cup Wonwoo’s cheek, wrapping his other hand around Wonwoo’s waist and tugging him closer. Wonwoo sighs like he’s been craving his touch, his eyes fluttering shut  as he leans into the taller boy’s hold. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Wonwoo. I never meant to do that, but it seems to be all I do.”

            Wonwoo’s eyes flutter open and then, as if realizing where he is, he tries to jerk out of Mingyu’s arms. Mingyu doesn’t let go though, not when he’s been dying to have Wonwoo back in his arms for weeks now. He knows he has no one to blame but himself for that fact.

            “Mingyu,” Wonwoo says in a more clear voice, “what do you want from me? Because I can’t keep playing this game of push-and-pull with you. Not anymore. Not when I know what it feels like to be wanted by you, to be kissed and held by you. I can’t go back to that game. So if you’re going to break up with me, just do it.”

            Mingyu pulls Wonwoo into his chest, feeling tears prickle at the back of his eyes as he lets his head rest atop Wonwoo’s hair. It’s soft against his cheek, tickling his mouth, and Mingyu inhales deeply as he chokes out, “I’m so sorry I did this to you, Wonwoo. I don’t want to play with you anymore. I’m tired of playing.”

            Wonwoo tenses in his arms. “Then let me go and let me leave,” Wonwoo chokes out. His voice sounds wet, like he wants to cry, and his body is slightly trembling. “Let me leave with at least a little bit of my dignity. I don’t want – I don’t want to cry in front of you anymore.”

            “Please don’t cry,” Mingyu asks even though he himself has tears falling from his eyes. He can’t believe he’s done this to Wonwoo. He wants to tell him the truth – that he’s scared because he loves Wonwoo so much and he feels like Wonwoo deserves better, but it’s hard. Putting his heart out on the line is hard. The last time he told someone he loved him, they left him alone.

            But Wonwoo isn’t Doyoon. And mark or not, Mingyu knows that he’s in love with Wonwoo with everything he has.

            “Wonwoo,” Mingyu lifts his head. He pulls back to look at Wonwoo in the eyes and, just like he suspected, there’s tears in the older boy’s eyes, glistening. “I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay here, with me. I’m sorry – for everything. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I was never mad at you for lying to me.  I was mad at myself. Because if I would have been a little better to you in the beginning, you wouldn’t have felt the need to lie about your mark. It’s all my fault. I should have let you explain and I shouldn’t have ignored you. I was just so scared, Wonwoo, because you deserve so much better than me.”          

            “Mingyu,” Wonwoo chokes out, “what are you saying?”

            “I’m saying I want us to try again – no lies. I want to be with you Wonwoo, if you’ll still have me. I promise not to hurt you anymore. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

            Wonwoo just stares at him, blinking back tears. “You’ve promised that before,” Wonwoo whispers. He tightens his mouth into a line and then he’s shoving at Mingyu’s chest. “Mingyu, I don’t know if I can do this. All we’ve done is hurt each other. You hurt me and I hurt you. Maybe we…” Wonwoo takes a shuddering breath “… maybe we’re not right for each other.”

            Mingyu feels everything around him collapse. Like he’s just been under water and he’s trying to breathe, but he can’t.  His hold loosens on Wonwoo and the other boy uses that as a chance to step out of his arms. “What do you mean?”

            Wonwoo smiles. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I deserve better and maybe so do you. Maybe we both deserve better than someone who constantly hurts us.”

            “No,” Mingyu yells back, “I want you. And you want me too. I know you do. I can see it in your eyes.”

            Wonwoo smiles – sadly and resigned, like he’s just comes to terms with everything. “I do,” he says truthfully. “God, Mingyu, I want you so much I feel like I can’t breathe if I’m not in your arms. But we’re not right for each other, I don’t think.”

            “We’re mates,” Mingyu says back and it makes his heart flutter and break at the same time.

            “Maybe that’s not enough. Just because we’re mates doesn’t mean we have to be together.” Wonwoo takes a deep breath. “I love you, Mingyu. But I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to hurt anymore.”

            Mingyu hears his heart thumping in his ears. He can’t focus on anything else. He doesn’t even have time to appreciate the fact that Wonwoo loves him – him, Wonwoo loves Mingyu – because it’s overshadowed by the fact that Wonwoo wants to leave.

            “Do you really think that? Is that what you really want?”

            Wonwoo looks at him with sad eyes, but he nods seriously, his voice clear. “Yes, that’s what I want.”

            Mingyu clears his throat and blinks back tears. He doesn’t think it’s possible, but he thinks he can hear the sound of his heart breaking. He takes a couple of steps back, away from Wonwoo and everything he just lost. “Okay,” he whispers around the lump in his throat. He swallows thickly. “If that’s what you want, then I’ll leave.”

            “No,” Wonwoo interrupts, already untying his apron – and Mingyu realizes belatedly that it’s the one he gave him, which makes him want to cry. “You were here first, I’ll leave.”

            “No,” he chokes out. He blinks more rapidly, feeling the tears about to spill over. “You deserve to be here. I’ll get Soonyoung to bring you the stuff from my apartment.” He tries to smile, but it trembles on his lips. “You left some books at my place.”

            Wonwoo nods, tugging the sleeves of his shirt over his palms. “Okay,” he says softly.

            And then, because Mingyu thinks he can’t be there much longer without breaking, he clears his throat. He wants to reach out to touch Wonwoo, but he turns around and says softly, “Bye, Wonwoo-ssi. I hope you’re happy.”

            He doesn’t turn back as he walks out, the bell dinging above him as he shuts the door to the café. He briefly sees Soonyoung and Seungkwan leaning against the building, talking to each other, but Mingyu walks past them. They both call out to him, but Mingyu ignores them until he turns the corner to the alleyway. He braces himself against the wall, feeling his shoulders shake, and then, to his horror, his mouth opens and he lets out a sob. This seems to open everything up, because the next thing he knows, he’s dropping and wrapping his arms around his knees, his body wrecking with sobs.

            He feels something soft touch his shoulder, but he can’t look up. He hears Soonyoung ask in a panicked voice, “Mingyu? What happened?”

            “He – he doesn’t want me. He doesn’t think we’re right for each other. Oh my god,” he chokes, “it ing h-hurts.”

            He doesn’t hear what Soonyoung or Seungkwan says next because he shoves his head in his hands, not feeling ashamed at all as he lets himself cry. He doesn’t know how long he sits there but then he feels cold, familiar fingers touch his cheek, lifting his head up. He hears a familiar voice say in a pained voice, “Oh god, Mingyu.”

            Mingyu jerks, lifting his head up and seeing Wonwoo crouched in front of him. Soonyoung and Seungkwan are nowhere to be seen, so he guesses that they left them alone. Mingyu tires to smile, but he can’t. Wonwoo reaches out to brush tears from his cheeks.

            “Mingyu,” Wonwoo says, blinking rapidly, “god, please don’t cry.”

            “I’m sorry,” Mingyu chokes. He shifts so that Wonwoo is no longer touching him, but Wonwoo reaches out to grab Mingyu’s head between his hands and turns him so they can face each other. “I’m sorry,” Mingyu repeats.

            Wonwoo shakes his head, letting himself rest on his knees. It makes him a little shorter than Mingyu. He presses his fingers tightly to Mingyu’s cheeks. “Why didn’t you stay?”

            Mingyu blinks back tears. “I said I would let you leave, remember? I love you, Wonwoo. All I want is for you to be happy. And if you think you’ll be happier without me, then I have to let you go.”

            Wonwoo’s grip loosens and when he takes a deep breath in, it’s like he’s breathing properly for the first time in his life. His eyes shine and Mingyu sees that Wonwoo isn’t bothering to hide the fact that tears are running down his cheeks. “You love me?”

            Mingyu shuts his eyes. “I’m in love with you, Wonwoo.”

            He hears Wonwoo chuckle. He feels Wonwoo scoot closer, dropping his hands so he can rest a hand on Mingyu’s knee. Mingyu opens his eyes, looking at the brightness in Wonwoo’s eyes as Wonwoo leans closer, resting his forehead on Mingyu’s shoulder. He breathes out a chuckle, his breath tickling Mingyu’s collarbone. “We’re a mess.” He lifts his head up, his eyes shining. “I’m in love with you too, idiot.”

            Mingyu swallows harshly. “But I thought you said –”

            Wonwoo shakes his head. “I’m in love with you, Mingyu. And you’re in love with me. That’s all that matters to me right now.” And he places one hand on Mingyu’s cheek, tilting his head down as he tilts his head up. When their lips connect, Mingyu feels a heavy weight stray from his chest. Both of their faces are slick with tears, so their kiss is salty, raw and real. Wonwoo pulls away and rests his forehead against Mingyu’s, breathing harshly, his eyes shut tight. “I’m sorry.” His lips barely brush Mingyu’s.

            “Please don’t ask me to leave again,” Mingyu whispers.

            Wonwoo chuckles, opening his eyes. He brings his hand up to tangle it in Mingyu’s hair, tugging his head lower. “I won’t,” he whispers. “You’re stuck with me now.”

            Mingyu smiles wide and he’s just leaning down to kiss Wonwoo again when Soonyoung peeks from around the corner and yells out, “Have you guys made up yet?”

            “You’re ruining the moment!” Mingyu yells back and Wonwoo giggles. Mingyu feels like he’s never felt as happy as he has in that moment.

            Seungkwan peeks from around the corner too, crinkling his nose as he looks at both of them. “I’m happy for you guys, but you left the café alone and Wonwoo is on the clock right now.”

            Wonwoo shoves at Mingyu’s knee, leaning closer to whisper. “Do you think if we ignored them, they’d leave us alone?”

            Mingyu lifts a hand up to brush hair away from Wonwoo’s eyes, grinning. “It’s worth a try.” And he leans forward to kiss Wonwoo with everything he has. He tries to put in how sorry and grateful he is, and he guesses that Wonwoo gets what he means because Wonwoo groans, moving so his body is pressed tighter to Mingyu’s. Mingyu opens his arms, wrapping an arm around Wonwoo and tugging him to his chest and into his lap.

            Mingyu distinctly hears Soonyoung laugh happily and Seungkwan make gagging noises as he mutters, “Gross, get a room!”

            Wonwoo laughs against his lips, calming down to whisper against Mingyu’s mouth. “I love you.”

            “I love you,” Mingyu says back, digging his fingers into Wonwoo’s side. He knows things aren’t perfect – they may never be. They’ll fight a lot, and sometimes they will drive each other so crazy, they’ll want to scream. But they love each other and love isn’t about things being perfect or magical – it’s about being happy. And Wonwoo makes Mingyu happier than he’s ever been in his life.

            The mark on his hipbones burns as Wonwoo presses closer to him, pressing a kiss against Mingyu’s jaw, and Mingyu thinks that’s really all he needs for the rest of his life. 

a/n: ahh, what to do? o(╥﹏╥)o you guys are so nice in the comments, i'm crying... also, this story is wrapping up nicely! obviosuly, a lot of things still need to resolved but it's on its way! also, um, i started a new story (i know, I know) and it's called something about you and it's meanie, if anyone wants to read it. i only have the preface up, but i hope people like it ^.^