Joshua is glaring at his back, Jeonghan can tell because the back of his neck prickles with the other boys gaze. He ignores this and points to a set of doors down the hall, keeping his voice lowered as he says, “Jihoon’s office is through those doors right there.”

            “Jeonghan.”

            “Just go through there and – if there’s someone there – just say –”

            “Jeonghan,” Joshua repeats drolly.

            “No,” he scoffs, “don’t say my name. I don’t know if Jihoon told people not to let you in but –”

            “Jeonghan.”

            Jeonghan turns to face the other boy and has to bite his lip to keep from laughing. All he can see is Joshua’s eyes narrowed into slits as they look at him. He has a baseball cap on and a long sweater that he has pulled up over his nose. Jeonghan himself has on a large hat that flops over his face and an oversized sweater.

            Joshua sighs, lifting his hand up to take off his hat and running his fingers through his hair. “Why are we wearing disguises?”

            Jeonghan looks at him pointedly, reaching out to take the cap from Joshua’s hands and stuffing it on his head again. Joshua gives him a pointed glare as he fixes it on his head. “Well,” Jeonghan says, “you said Jihoon was avoiding you. So I figured if he doesn’t know it’s you, he can’t kick you out! Foolproof plan.”

            “This,” Joshua gestures to his outfit, which consists of a long sweater and plain black jeans, “seems suspicious as hell.”

            “Oh please,” Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “No one will know it’s us!”

            Just then, someone turns the corner. He’s tall, with kind eyes and black hair that falls into his eyes. He’s looking down at some papers in his hand but as soon as he catches sight of the two non-suspicious boys, he looks up and casts them a confused smile.

            Jeonghan is silently wishing that he won’t say anything, but just as the thought crosses his mind, the boy opens his mouth and says, “Hi Jeonghan.”

            Jeonghan sighs heavily, not turning to see the look that Joshua is casting at him. He’s sure that Joshua has a smug smile on his face. Jeonghan smiles tightly. “Hi Minhyun.”

            Minhyun looks from him to Joshua in confusion. “Uh, Seungcheol isn’t here, I don't think so…”

            “Oh, well, um, I’m here to see Jihoon actually. Do you know if he’s in his office?”

            Minhyun nods slowly. “Yeah, but he was doing some work. I’m not sure if he can see anybody right now.” He casts a look at Joshua and Jeonghan jerks forward.

            “Oh, um, this is my friend Joshua.” He gestures between them. “Joshua, this is Minhyun. He works closely with Seungcheol.” After they’ve introduced themselves, Minhyun excuses himself and Jeonghan watches him walk away. He sighs as the other boy turns the corner and he sees Joshua looking at him with a lifted brow and a smug expression. Jeonghan grumbles under his breath, removing the hat from his head.

            “Fine,” he says, bumping his hip with Joshua’s. “So the disguises were a fail.”

            “Yeah, who would’ve thought?” Joshua says in an overly teasing voice. He pulls his own hat off his head, causing his hair to flop over his forehead. A lock of hair falls into his eyes and Jeonghan is oh so tempted to reach out and brush it back, but Joshua is running his hand through his hair. He sighs and looks at Jeonghan with a worried expression. “Do you think I can just go in there and talk to him?”

            Jeonghan feels himself deflate at the worried and guilty expression on the younger boy’s face. He knows that Joshua has been killing himself lately over what happened with Jihoon. He hasn’t even been able to eat properly because of the guilt. It makes Jeonghan feel horrible, because he knows this all goes back to him somehow.

            He takes a deep breath, leans against the door, and reaches out to brush his knuckles across Joshua’s forehead, speaking softly. “Joshua, listen to me.” He waits until Joshua looks up and smiles softly. Joshua smiles back. “It’ll be fine, okay? Now, when you go in, just go for it, okay?”

            “Wait, I need a moment –”

            Jeonghan feels himself falling as the door opens behind him. He lets out a small squeak, grabbing tightly onto Joshua’s shirt, pulling the other boy with him, causing them to both fall backward. He lands on the floor with a thud and Joshua bumps his forehead on Jeonghan’s chin, landing with his knee uncomfortably close to Jeonghan’s inner thigh. They both hiss and Joshua brings one hand up to rub at his forehead, the other hand planted firmly beside Jeonghan’s head.

            “, Joshua, what the . Why is your head so hard?” Jeonghan whines as he brings one hand up to rub at his chin. He tries not to think about how he can feel Joshua’s chest, solid and warm, brush against his every time Joshua breathes. This close, Jeonghan can see the curve of Joshua’s eyelashes and the tilt at the edge of his lips. Not that he’s looking at that, of course.

            “Me?” Joshua whines, his breath fanning over Jeonghan’s lips and causing the older boy to drop his mouth in a slight shudder. “You pulled me down with you!”

            Just as Jeonghan is opening his mouth to retort back, he hears a throat clear above him. He tilts his head back just as Joshua looks up and they both look into the empty eyes of Jihoon.

            Jihoon looks uninterested to see either of them. His face doesn’t fall from the blank mask he has on at all, instead he just shifts his eyes from Joshua to Jeonghan with no emotion. “Joshua,” he says in a blank tone.

            “Jihoon!” Joshua scrambles up and he plants his hands a little too close to Jeonghan’s lower body, making him hiss. Joshua ignores this, dusting his hands on his pants pockets while he stares at Jihoon. “Jihoon,” he repeats, “I need to talk to you.”

            Jihoon’s eyes shift to Jeonghan on the floor. Jeonghan stands up quickly, feeling a chill run deep into his bones at the empty look in the younger boy’s eyes. There’s nothing there – no hint of animosity, or anger, or even a flicker of recognition. He’s simply staring at Jeonghan as if he’s not even there.

            “You need to talk to me,” Jihoon says in a low voice devoid of emotion. “And you bought your boyfriend.”

            Jeonghan feels a blush work it’s way up his neck and he looks at Joshua to see if he’s going to correct him, but he doesn’t (and Jeonghan doesn’t say that it sends a thrill up his spine – but, well, it does). Instead, Joshua takes a step forward and says in a low tone, “Jihoon, please.”

            Jihoon just stares at him before he lets out a long sigh. “Fine. I was going to lunch, so you can join me.” His eyes cut to Jeonghan and then back to Joshua. “I assume Jeonghan will be joining us.”

            “I won’t,” Jeonghan interrupts. He looks at Joshua and knows that this is something he has to do alone. “I was just his guide for today.”

            Jihoon nods curtly and doesn’t give them both a glance back as he walks out the door, stating to Joshua, “I’ll be outside. Hurry up.” The door slams shut after him and it makes both boys wince.

            Joshua turns to Jeonghan with helpless eyes full of worry and he sounds scared as he says, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

            Without thinking, Jeonghan reaches out to grab onto Joshua’s hand, giving it a light squeeze. He feels something like fire where he’s touching Joshua and he gets this damn fluttering low in his stomach and dammit, he really should get this crush under control.

            Jeonghan thinks of his new mark – right by his heart – and it sobers him up a little. He drops Joshua’s hand, but he smiles brightly and says, “You’ll be fine. Now, go. Get your best friend back.”

            He smiles as he watches Joshua gather up his courage and walk out and Jeonghan follows after him, shutting the door to Jihoon’s office tightly.            He lets out a sigh and leans his head back against the door, shutting his eyes.

            He hears the sound of shoes scrapping against the floor and looks up to the source of the sound. He feels his heart stop in his chest when he realizes that it’s Seungcheol who he’s heard. Seungcheol seems to not have noticed him yet, he’s too busy looking down at some papers in his hands. It makes Jeonghan frown because he looks tired. He has black rings under his eyes and a tight frown permanently on his lips. As if sensing Jeonghan’s eyes on him, Seungcheol looks up.

            He freezes, his shoulders tensing up, and Jeonghan can see the panic in his eyes. “Hi,” he says in a small voice.   

            Jeonghan swallows harshly and pushes off the door, letting a small smile cross his lips. “Hi,” he answers back.

            Seungcheol stuffs the papers behind his back, smiling awkwardly. The light in the building washes out his face even more and makes the dark circles under his eyes seem more prominent. He clears his throat. “How are you?”

            “Okay,” he says and then frowns. “You look like , Seungcheol. Are you okay?”

            Seungcheol looks up at him with wide eyes, disbelieving. “Huh?”

            “I mean, you look sick. Have you been sleeping well? Are you eating properly?”

            Seungcheol blinks slowly at him and then he lets out a harsh laugh that sounds more like a cry. “Why are you being nice to me?”

            Jeonghan furrows his brows. He forgets, momentarily, where they are and that him and Seungcheol aren’t exactly friends anymore. It’s weird, how familiar it is for him to walk up to Seungcheol and place the back of his hand on Seungcheol’s forehead. Seungcheol winces, but Jeonghan doesn’t notice. He drops and places the back of his hand on Seungcheol’s cheek next, frowning to himself.

            “You don’t have a fever, but your cheeks are gaunt… why aren’t you taking care of yourself?”

            Seungcheol clears his throat and it’s only then that Jeonghan realizes how close he is to the other boy. He drops his hand with a red face and takes two huge steps back, making a show of clearing his throat and stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Um, sorry.”

            Seungcheol barely shakes his head. “It’s fine. I’ve just been busy. I haven’t been having the best time.”

            “Do you wanna… talk about it?”

            “I don’t think you’d understand,” Seungcheol says. “I really ed everything up.”

            Jeonghan doesn’t know what to say, because a part of him agrees, but the other part of him doesn’t want Seungcheol to suffer. Jeonghan considers asking Seungcheol if he wants to get a coffee with him or something so they can talk, but he doesn’t know if that’s appropriate. He hasn’t spoken to Seungcheol since the day they broke up. He asked for time and Seungcheol gave it to him.

            Jeonghan braces himself. “Let’s go get coffee and then you can tell me everything.” He lets himself smile a little more easily. “I’m a good listener.”

            Seungcheol looks like he’s contemplating, chewing his lip worriedly. Finally, he tenses his shoulders and looks at Jeonghan straight in the eyes. “I would love to get a coffee with you.”

            Jeonghan takes his phone out, pulling up Joshua’s information, and sends a quick text to the other boy to let him know where he is.

            I’m going to have coffee with Seungcheol, okay? If I’m not back by the time you get back, just wait for me, okay?

            He doesn’t expect Joshua to respond so fast, so he’s surprised when his phone chimes in his hands. With Seungcheol? Are you sure you’re ready for that?

            You’re fixing your demons and I’m fixing mine, he writes back. Ah, now pay attention to Jihoon and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, okay kid?

            Kid, Jeonghan grins because he can practically see the eye roll that Joshua is giving him. I’m no kid, hyung. And no one can be worse then you :)

            You’re a brat. Why do I like you?

            Ah, but you do like me? ;) I’m going to focus on my lunch now, bye hyung :)

            Jeonghan rolls his eyes at the last message Joshua sends, scoffing as he puts his phone back into his pocket. “Brat,” he mutters underneath his breath, but he can’t stop the huge grin that overtakes his features. He looks up at Seungcheol and his smile diminishes a little at the sight of the older boy. He clears his throat and gestures for Seungcheol to move forward. “Sorry, after you.”

            Seungcheol starts walking and Jeonghan falls into step with him. After a while, Seungcheol glances at Jeonghan from the corner of his eye. “Was that Joshua?”

            “Huh? Oh, yeah. He just has some problems to work out with Jihoon.”

            Seungcheol winces. “Those problems might be my fault.”

            Jeonghan twists his body towards Seungcheol when they pass someone in the hallway. “Your fault? Why would it be your fault?”

            Seungcheol his lips. “Because I kissed Jihoon.”

            It makes Jeonghan stop, causing another person to bump into him and grumble as they walk around him while throwing him a dirty look. Jeonghan doesn’t care, he’s too busy staring at Seungcheol. He tries to look for the telltale signs that he’s lying and his heart drops to his stomach when he realizes that Seungcheol is telling the truth. “Seungcheol – oh my god. Seungcheol.”

            He winces again. “I know.”

            “Why?”

            He seems to brace himself before he says this, tightening his jaw and making his shoulders go stiff. “Because he’s my mate.”

            And, just like that, Jeonghan just… gets it.

            He gets why the smaller boy never wanted to hang around with Jeonghan. He gets why Jihoon never seemed interested in what he had to say. He gets why he always seemed to find some excuse to not go to Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s anniversary party. He gets why he was familiar with Jihoon, but never quite friends with him. To Jihoon, Jeonghan was just the boy who took something away from him.

            He thinks about Joshua, and the hurt and betrayed look that covered Jihoon’s face when he walked in to find Jeonghan at Joshua’s apartment.

            “Oh my god,” he whispers to himself. “Poor Jihoon.” His eyes turn to Seungcheol. “Oh my god, Seungcheol. How could – I mean, how could you not…. When did this…. Oh my god.”

            Seungcheol looks crushed. “I know,” he whispers.

            “I think we’re going to need more than just one cup of coffee to get through this.”

⚘❁⚘

            Jihoon has a spoon bought up to his lips, his eyes lowered, causing his eyelashes to cast a shadow on his cheeks. His lips are puckered as he gently blows cool air onto the steaming spoonful of broth, and once he’s deemed it cool enough, he brings the spoon past his lips.

            Joshua watches as Jihoon picks up his chopsticks and pick up a hefty amount of noodles, gently blowing on that as well before stuffing it into his mouth. Once he’s finished chewing, he brings his cup up and takes a sip. Joshua watches his adam’s apple bob up as Jihoon drinks.

            “Are you just going to look at me or are you going to talk?”

            Joshua jerks in his seat, snapping his eyes down to his own untouched plate briefly before he looks back up at Jihoon. Jihoon is still eating, but now he’s resting one elbow on the table as he props his head in his hands and blows gently at the noodles hanging from his chopsticks. His eyes briefly flicker to Joshua’s, empty and cold.

            “So? Are you going to say something?”

            “I don’t know what there is to say.”

            Jihoon lets out a short laugh then. “You’re the one who wanted to talk.”

            “I wanted to say I was sorry.”

            Jihoon sighs and lets his noodles plop back down into the bowl. He seems to have a conversation with himself because he looks up at Joshua and his eyes aren’t blank anymore. Instead, Joshua can see the hurt and anguish swirling behind those pretty lashes.

            “Jihoon,” Joshua says earnestly. “I’m really sorry for hurting you.”

            Jihoon blinks and then his eyes are back to that empty coldness. “It’s fine,” he says in a clipped tone. “You have nothing to be sorry for. He’s your mate – why wouldn’t you go to him?”

            “Jihoon, please, it wasn’t like that. I never cheated on you.”

            “But you wanted to, right?” He looks Joshua straight in the eyes, unwavering. “You wanted to kiss Jeonghan and sleep with him and you wanted him to be the one you called yours, right?”

            “Jihoon –” Joshua winces at his words.

            “No, you can be honest.” He pushes his plate away from him. “You know, the reason I was ignoring you so much is because I was with Seungcheol. Jeonghan broke up with him and the first person he sought out was me. Do you know how many times I’ve had to hear about how great Jeonghan is? Do you know what it feels like to always be second rate? Do you, Joshua?”

            Joshua wants to looks down at his plate in shame, but he feels like he deserves this, so he keeps looking into Jihoon’s eyes. “No.”

            “No, of course not. And I thought I finally – finally – found someone who understands, but then you didn’t. I went to your house because Seungcheol kissed me that night and I just – I was going to apologize and come clean about the fact that I was staying with Seungcheol, but instead I find you and Jeonghan. And you know what? I’m not even mad. I’m just hurt, because I never thought you would lie to me. I thought you would tell me if you wanted to break up. What? You didn’t think I would give you a chance to work things out with your mate? Is that who you think I am?”

            “I was scared,” Joshua admits. “I never thought I would have a chance with Jeonghan, so I didn’t want to delude myself into thinking anything was ever going to happen. I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t want to hurt you, Jihoon. You mean so much to me and I really wanted to be in love with you.”

            Jihoon tenses at Joshua’s last statement. “But you couldn’t fall in love with me, could you?” His voice is low, and his eyes are starting to flood back with that hurt, the cold mask dropping. “You couldn’t love me, because you love Jeonghan.”

            Joshua feels his throat close up. “I don’t love him –”

            “But you could,” Jihoon interrupts. “You could fall in love with him. And he could love you too. So why didn’t you just tell me that, Joshua? You think I wouldn’t have understood? Joshua, all I ever want is for you to be happy.”

            Joshua winces. “I’m really sorry.”

            “I’m not mad, I’m just… tired. I can’t deal with this anymore, Joshua.”

            “I let you down, didn’t I?”

            Jihoon shrugs. “I let myself down. I wanted you to be my chance at a happy ending, but I should have made myself my own chance at a happy ending.” Jihoon twiddles his thumbs. He sniffles and Joshua realizes that Jihoon is on the verge of tears. “I loved Seungcheol so much for so long,” Jihoon chokes out. “And I knew, always knew, that I would never get a chance with him because he was with Jeonghan. And then you came along and you liked me. You liked me just because and you were everything I thought I was missing. I liked you so much, Joshua, and I maybe even loved you a little. I just thought that maybe you would have liked me as much too.”

            Joshua stays quiet, looking down as a tear drips down Jihoon’s eye and falls to the table. “Jihoon,” Joshua says as he feels tears prickle at his eyes too. “I will never be able to express how sorry I am that I couldn’t be that for you.”

            “I don’t need someone to love me, hyung.” Jihoon sniffles again and wipes the back of his hand across his cheeks, wiping his tears away. His eyes are clear, no longer empty, but no longer hurt. “You don’t have to apologize anymore. I understand you’re sorry. I forgive you. Just promise me one thing, okay? Promise me you’ll tell Jeonghan that he’s your mate. You deserve a happy ending with your mate.”

            “Don’t,” Joshua chokes out, “I don’t deserve it.”

            Surprisingly, Jihoon lets out a watery chuckle, dropping his hand from his face. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

            “You don’t be so hard on yourself,” Joshua repeats to the younger boy. Jihoon just shrugs and lifts his chopsticks again and Joshua hesitates before saying, “Do you hate me? Or can I still call you my best friend?”

            Jihoon blinks at him. “I don’t hate you. And I need a little time, you know. But we can be friends.” He points his chopsticks at Joshua and gives him a small smile. It’s a little sad, not lighting up his face and slightly trembling, but it’s there. “As long as you keep giving me a discount when I go to the café. I need my free coffee.”

            Joshua brings his own spoonful up to his lips, hiding a miniscule smile. Jihoon kicks at Joshua under the table and that’s how he knows it’s going to be okay. It may not be perfect, and maybe it’ll always hurt to think about how he hurt Jihoon, but it’s better. He’s getting a second chance that he doesn’t deserve.

            “Well,” Joshua answers, “I’m sure Soonyoung won’t mind if I keep giving you a discount. I won’t mind either.”

⚘❁⚘

            A few days later, Joshua is falling asleep to the sound of the television playing in the background when he hears the locks to his door turn. It causes him to sit up in alert, but he relaxes once he remembers that Jeonghan has a key. Sure enough, walking in, with his phone pressed to his ear, is Jeonghan. Joshua just glances at him, eyeing the grocery bag that Jeonghan is carrying in his hands.

            “What do you mean you can’t come over for dinner?” Jeonghan is saying to the phone as he walks into the kitchen. He throws the bag on the table and takes a seat on the other end of the couch. “I even got stuff so Joshua can cook your favorite!”

            Joshua sits up at the mention of his name. “So Joshua can cook?” He repeats loudly, but Jeonghan just waves him off. At Joshua’s questioning look, Jeonghan mouths It’s Chan.

            “Oh, he can’t come over?”

            “Wait,” Jeonghan says to the phone, “this brat is being annoying so I’m going to put you on speaker, okay?” He sets the phone on the cushions and taps on the screen. “Okay, you’re on speaker.”

            “Hi hyung!” Chan says excitedly.

            Joshua lets out a chuckle. “Hi Chan.”

            “Tell him what you told me,” Jeonghan says, shifting in his seat. He squirms a little more before he lifts up and brings his feet up on the couch, stretching them in front of him. Then he has the audacity to place his feet in Joshua’s lap as he stretches and falls into the cushions.

            Joshua lifts his brow and gestures to his lap. Jeonghan just shrugs and wiggles his sock clad feet.  Joshua lets a chuckle slide past his lips.

            “Oh, well, I can’t make it to dinner tonight,” Chan says. “Vernon-hyung promised that we would hang out tonight, so I think I’m going with him.”

            “Do you hear that?” Jeonghan asks in an offended tone. It makes Joshua smile, a lighthearted feeling spreading through his chest. “He’s choosing Vernon over me – over us. Us, who washed and bathed him –”

            “What? You never bathed me,” Chan interrupts.

            “– and fed him when no one else would take him in. And he’s choosing Vernon.” Jeonghan looks at Joshua with eyes and repeats, “V-E-R-N-O-N,” as if that’ll make Joshua agree with him. “Can you believe how ungrateful my baby is?”

            “Your baby?” Joshua asks and Chan groans eternally on the phone while Jeonghan sits up excitedly.

            “Chan,” Jeonghan coos, “whose baby are you?”

            It’s silent on the other line and Joshua looks at Jeonghan to see if he’s missing something. At Joshua’s curious look, Jeonghan bends forward so close that their noses are almost touching. Joshua almost wants to jerk back, but he stays in the heat that is Jeonghan’s body a little longer. Jeonghan’s hair tickles his cheek and nose, making Joshua crinkle his nose. Jeonghan seems to notice, because he brushes his hair back, but he doesn’t move away from Joshua.

            “Watch this,” he whispers so just Joshua can hear and Joshua nods in a daze. “Chan,” Jeonghan repeats in a more loud and sweet voice, “whose baby are you?”

            Chan lets out a long sigh and he sounds absolutely pained as he says, “Jeonghan-hyung’s baby.”

            Joshua feels his eyes go wide and he brings a hand up to cover his mouth and smother the chuckle that wants to escape. Jeonghan looks absolutely pleased with himself as he leans back in his seat, causing Joshua want to scoot forward and bring the heat back.

            “Cute,” Joshua tells Chan when he finally thinks he won’t burst into a fit of laughter. “Very cute, Lee Chan.”

            “He makes me say it, okay,” Chan deadpans. “Anyway, can I safely go to Vernon’s house without having to worry that Jeonghan will, like, disown me or something?”

            Jeonghan opens his mouth to respond, but by the look in his eyes, Joshua knows it won’t be pretty. He’ll probably whine about how unfair Chan is being again. So Joshua leans forward and grabs the phone, ignoring Jeonghan’s surprised look. “It’s fine,” Joshua tells the phone and Jeonghan moves over on the couch to reach the phone (“What? It’s not fine.”), but Joshua is fast. He takes the phone off speaker and presses it to his ear at the same time that he wraps his arm around Jeonghan's head and covers his mouth.

            “Really?” Chan asks in disbelief. “I can go?”

            “Yup!” Joshua answers while Jeonghan struggles in his arms. “Jeonghan says it’s fine and have fun!” Jeonghan brings his hands up to try to tug at Joshua’s arms but Joshua doesn’t let go.

            “He didn’t say that, but I will! Thanks Joshua-hyung! I’ll come see you guys for breakfast tomorrow!”

            “Okay, bye – OUCH. JEONGHAN. WHAT THE HELL, DID YOU BITE ME?!” Joshua yelps as he drops the phone. Jeonghan scrambles over Joshua, resting half on Joshua’s lap and half on the couch as he reaches down on the floor to get the phone. Joshua brings his arm up, inspecting the wet spot and the teeth marks embedded in his skin.

            “Hello? Chan? Hello?” Jeonghan removes the phone form his ear and frowns at it. “He hung up, can you believe?”

            “You bit me,” Joshua pouts.

            Jeonghan turns over to look at Joshua. His chin is almost resting on Joshua’s knees and Joshua watches as Jeonghan blinks those pretty eyes at him slowly, looking the picture of innocence. “I bit you?” he asks. “You mean, like this?” And before Joshua knows what’s happening, Jeonghan opens his mouth and sinks his teeth into the skin above Joshua’s knee.

            Joshua lets out a squeal mixed with a yell, shoving at Jeonghan. “Gross, hyung.” Joshua tangles his fingers into Jeonghan’s hair, forcefully pulling his head up and Jeonghan is shaking from the repressed laughter. Joshua narrows his eyes and he tightens his hold, jerking Jeonghan’s head back and speaking lowly, “You bit me.”

            And then the strangest thing happens.

            Jeonghan’s eyes turn dark and he lets out a small whimper that’s followed by a slight moan as he practically melts into Joshua’s lap, his lips parted open.

            Joshua feels every muscle in his body tense up at the noise. Testing, he lightly tugs at the strands again and he’s not surprised when Jeonghan lets out that same little whimper, his eyes fluttering shut. Joshua feels his own eyes screw shut, his mind imprinted with the image of Jeonghan laying in his lap with his head tilted back, neck exposed, and that delicious whimper spilling over his lips.

            But he can’t do this, not right now.

            “Jeonghan,” he says, surprised to find that his voice is low and husky.

            “Yes?” Jeonghan says breathily.

            Joshua clears his throat, shaking his head. He snaps his eyes open and says, “I think I’m just going to order dinner for tonight.”

            Jeonghan eyes snap as well, and as if realizing where he is, his entire face goes red and he quickly scrambles to the other end of the couch. “Oh, um, okay.” He avoids looking at Joshua’s eyes, keeping his hands in his lap. “Um, I think I’m going to shower.”

            Joshua feels his lips twitch up. “Okay, I’ll order.”

            Jeonghan nods and for the first time, Joshua notices that he looks frustrated. He keeps frowning down at his hands, his brows furrowed, and he picks at the sleeves of his shirt. He stands up with stiff muscles and makes his way to the restroom.

            By the time he’s stepped out, he looks much more relaxed. His face has been scrubbed clean, his cheeks rosy form the heat of the shower, and his hair dripping just a bit on his shirt. It’s one of Joshua’s again, but it looks better on him anyway. He makes his way to where Joshua is situate don the couch, settling with one leg on the floor and the other up so he can rest his cheek against his knee.

            “What’d you order?”

            Joshua has his feet propped up on the coffee table and he hums as he flips through the channels. “Some chicken, that okay?”

            Jeonghan leans a bit more toward Joshua. His hand brushes Joshua’s, making Joshua freeze, but he doesn’t think that Jeonghan notices because he keeps leaning forward until his side is pressed flush with Joshua’s. “Yeah, I like chicken.”

            Joshua feels positively warm. “Oh.” He blinks down at his hands. “I think I’m going to shower.” And he jerks up before Jeonghan can say anything.

            Once he makes it inside and has cut the water on, Joshua lets himself lean against the tiles of his shower. He lets his eyes shut and wills his heart to calm down. Ever since his talk with Jihoon, Joshua keeps telling himself that he’s finally going to tell Jeonghan that he’s his mate, and every time, he fails. He can’t help it; he’s scared. Because, yeah, Jeonghan is his mate, but that doesn’t mean he has to be with him, right? And how is Joshua supposed to know if Jeonghan likes him or not? Jeonghan is just naturally flirty with everybody.

            Joshua is so good at lying to himself that he has convinced himself to keep his mark a secret by the time he’s done with the shower.

            He’s just stepping out of his room, a short sleeve shirt and some pajama bottoms covering his body, when he hears a knock at the door. He busy drying his hair so he yells out, “Hey Jeonghan, can you get that? I think it’s the chicken! You can grab the money from my wallet.”

            “I’ll pay for it!” Jeonghan calls back and Joshua can hear him open up the door. “Hi,” Jeonghan chirps at the delivery person.

            “Hi, I got an order for a… Hong Jisoo. Is that you?”

            Joshua is humming to himself, but he doesn’t hear Jeonghan respond. It makes him frown and he sets the towel on the bed and steps out of his room. Jeonghan is standing frozen in the doorway, his back stiff. He’s staring with wide eyes at the person at the door. Joshua frowns and walks up behind him, smiling at the delivery girl.

            “Hi.”

            “Hi, I have an order for Hong Jisoo? Two chickens and a coke?”

            Joshua smiles and reaches for the bag. “That’s me, thanks.” Joshua glances at Jeonghan, who is still staring at the girl with a ghastly expression. Joshua nudges him with his elbow. “Do you mind paying?”

            That seems to jerk Jeonghan out of whatever trance he’s in because he hands the girl a big bill, muttering, “Keep the change,” and shutting the door with shaking hands.

            Joshua walks to the living room and sets the bag on the coffee table. “I was thinking we could eat here tonight so we can watch a movie or something. Or, hey, I’ll even watch that one drama you like. Can you just grab some plates and napkins from the…” Joshua trails off when he realizes that Jeonghan hasn’t moved from the door. “Jeonghan?”

            He’s leaning his forehead against the wood and he whispers, “Your name is Jisoo?”

            Joshua blinks. Is that what this is about? Joshua tries to remember if he ever told the other boy his Korean name, but his mind draws a blank. “Yeah, my Korean name is Jisoo. But I go by Joshua. I guess I never told you? Oh well.” He bends down and starts taking the chicken out of the bag, sneaking a piece of chicken off and stuffing it in his mouth. He straightens back up, about to wipe the grease from his fingers on his shirt, when he hears the soft thud of footsteps. He looks up, raising his brows when he sees Jeonghan stalking toward him, looking determined. “What’s wron–”

            Jeonghan shoves at Joshua, causing him to stumble back, but before Joshua can fall, Jeonghan grabs two fistfuls of Joshua’s shirt and jerks him forward until their lips connect.

            Joshua recognizes the feeling of something soft pressing against his mouth, something wet touching the corner of his mouth and his eyes flutter shut of their own accord. One hand reaches up to cup at Jeonghan’s neck, the other hand resting on his waist and tugging him closer. Jeonghan’s mouth is soft, warm, and inviting, parting open when Joshua laps at mouth to get him to open up. There’s still grease eon his fingers but it doesn’t matter as Jeonghan slides his hands to Joshua’s hips, tugging him forward until their hips are pressed together and Jeonghan moans at the friction.

            Joshua kisses at the corner of his mouth, Jeonghan at Joshua’s mouth as Joshua lets out a small moan. Jeonghan is the one who pulls away, his eyes still shut and casting a shadow over his cheeks.

            “Jisoo,” he whispers.

            Joshua blinks, trying to catch his breath. “Yeah?”

            And that seems to be all it takes for Jeonghan to snap his eyes open and recoil in horror. “Oh my god,” he says, and he lets go of the waistband of Joshua’s bottoms, taking a step back. He covers his mouth, his eyes wide. “Oh my god, you’re Jisoo.”

            Joshua frowns in confusion. “Yes?”

            “You’re Jisoo, you’re my – ” he launches forward, grabbing at the collar of Joshua’s shirt and tugging down harshly. Joshua is so surprised by what’s happening that he doesn’t have time to stop him. His eyes go wide and fill with sadness as he looks at the mark on Joshua’s skin. His fingers barely brush at it, causing Joshua to shiver as the feeling of Jeonghan’s hands cause goose bumps to rise on his skin.

            “Jeonghan?” Joshua asks in a small voice.

            Jeonghan takes a shuddering breath in, his eyes to leaving his name on Joshua’s skin. He presses his thumb against the final letter, his eyes filling with tears the longer he looks at it. He glances up at Joshua. “I’m sorry,” he says, and Joshua doesn’t have the time to ask what he’s apologizing for because Jeonghan turns around, quickly stuffing his feet into some shoes, and slams the door behind him.

            Joshua is left blinking at the empty space where Jeonghan was.

a/n: i am so so sorry that i've been gone for so long. i tend to not sleep a lot, so i may average like 2-4 hours of sleep a night, and i also never really eat anything but like crackers, so it finally caught up to me. i was sick for a while. i'm so sorry you guys! i missed you all so much :( i hope you guys like this! it'll be wrapping up pretty soon :)