Jeonghan wakes up curled beside the couch. His muscles are stiff and a quick peek at the couch lets him know that Seungcheol is still asleep. He blinks against the small amount of sunlight streaming in from the window. He feels like he hasn't slept at all. There’s tear tracks on his cheeks and his eyes feel heavy. He stands up on shaky legs and catches a quick glance at his bare wrist. Everything comes back to him then.

            Jisoo.

            He glares at where his new mark has appeared, fixing his shirt, making sure to cover his collarbone. There’s a million questions floating through his head and it makes his head pound, along with the huge hangover he has due to the large amounts of alcohol he consumed the day before.

            He’s trying to gather his surroundings when he hears stirring from the couch and he turns in horror as he notices Seungcheol waking up.

            By the time Seungcheol is blinking awake, calling out Jeonghan? the other boy is slamming the door shut behind him as he hurries away.

⚘❁⚘

            He finds himself at Jun and Minghao’s place, completely surprised to find that they are still asleep by the time he arrives there. He knocks on the door, running a hand through his hair as he thinks that the first thing he’ll do is ask if he can shower. Jun opens the door, dressed in a pair of pajama bottoms and a loose shirt. He rubs sleep from his eyes, his tone surprised.

            “Jeonghan?” he yawns. “What are you doing here? It’s, like, six in the morning, is everything okay?”

            Jeonghan winces. To be honest, he doesn’t know if things are okay. All he knows is that he can’t deal with Seungcheol, not when that thing is still on his chest. He needs time – time to figure out what to do or what the hell is going on.

            “Everything is fine,” he says, trying to sound like this is something he does all the time. “Can I borrow your shower?”

            “Um,” Jun blinks, opening the door wider to let Jeonghan in. “Sure.” He’s either too tired to notice or he doesn’t care that Jeonghan is in the same clothes as the night before. He yawns once again, shuffling towards a door on the far side of the living room. “You know where everything is – I’ll take you out some clothes.”

            Jun turns the knob and he’s back in a flash, holding a pair of sweats and plain shirt in his hands. “Everything you need is here.” He yawns again, deposits the clothes in Jeonghan’s hands, and then turns back towards the room. “Night,” he calls sleepily.

            Now, Jeonghan is familiar with Jun and Minghao’s apartment because it used to be his and Jun’s apartment. But then they both got mates and moved in with them and it’s been years since Jeonghan has lived in this apartment, so he feels a bit strange as he locks the bathroom door behind him and strips down.

            He pauses, finally taking time to inspect the new addition to his chest. The name is bold and dark, curving around his collarbone. It’s different from his Seungcheol mark. His Jisoo mark looks like it’s a part of his skin, like it was always meant to be there. Seungcheol’s mark had been faded and he hadn’t even felt it come in, despite what everyone said. Jeonghan never bothered to question it before.

            But his Jisoo mark was exactly what a mark should be, right down to the pain he felt when he got it.

            He runs a finger over the mark, shivering because he swears that it feels like there’s fire in his veins. He blinks slowly, his heart fluttering lightly, and then he quickly removes his hand from his chest, scowling to himself. He thinks of Seungcheol, waiting for a person that doesn’t belong to him anymore, and he turns the water on the hottest that it can get. Maybe that way he can wipe off the feeling of betrayal from his skin.

⚘❁⚘

            The first to wake up is Minghao. Jeonghan is cooking breakfast when he wakes up, shuffling out the door as he rubs his eyes and yawns. He completely ignores Jeonghan at first, instead going directly to the bathroom. He steps out a minute later, his face scrubbed clean. His hair is disheveled atop his head, his eyes blinking sleepily as he spots the older boy in the kitchen and Jeonghan has to bite his lip to keep the aww from escaping his lips at how cute Minghao looks.

            He’s wearing a shirt that Jeonghan knows belongs to Jun, because it fits him a bit big around the shoulders and his pajama pants pool at his feet despite his tall stature. He lifts a hand to his mouth as he yawns, shuffling towards the kitchen. He leans against the kitchen counter, his head resting in his palms. He doesn’t question why Jeonghan is there, just smiles prettily as he says, “Morning.”

            Jeonghan smiles back, feeling the tightness around his heart fade a little as he looks at the younger boy. “Morning?” He points at the cabinets. “Do you mind getting some plates out for me? I can’t find them anywhere.”

            Minghao nods, sliding from his position and walking behind the counter. He reaches up to some high cabinet on his toes and brandishes plates, handing them to Jeonghan.

            Jeonghan smiles. “Thanks. You can have a seat, I’ll take the breakfast to the table.”

            “I can help,” Minghao says and he starts grabbing dishes. He’s setting up the drinks when he casually says, without turning to Jeonghan, “So, are you going to break up with Seungcheol-hyung?”

            Jeonghan slips, almost dropping the plate he’s carrying before he steadies himself. He turns to Minghao, blinking slowly, his face red, but Minghao is humming to himself as he pushes the napkins back to their place.

            “What?” he asks. “What are you talking about?”

            Minghao sighs, turning around and taking the plate from Jeonghan’s frozen hands. “You know what I’m talking about, hyung. Are you gonna break up with Seungcheol? I know it’ll be hard, but I think you should do it as soon as possible.” At Jeonghan’s continuing silence, Minghao points to Jeonghan’s wrist. “Your mark is gone.”

            And Jeonghan wants to hit himself in the head because he’s wearing a short sleeve shirt, so of course Minghao would notice that his mark is gone.

            Jeonghan curses under his breath and he’s across the room in a flash, grabbing his sweater from before. “,” he mumbles, putting it on quickly and making sure that the sleeves go over his palms. He looks up at Minghao, who is leaning against the table regarding him with curious eyes. His eyes don’t stray from Jeonghan’s wrist, causing Jeonghan to scowl. “Will you stop staring at me?”

            Minghao blinks, smiling bashfully and looking Jeonghan in the eyes. “Sorry, I’ve just never actually known someone who’s lost a mark before. I’ve read about it, but it’s different.”

            “Wait, you know something about this?” His voice sounds desperate even to his own ears. “What do you know? Tell me.”

            Minghao blinks, furrowing his brows. “You don’t know?”

            “Obviously not.” He looks at him in confusion. “Why would I know anything other than the basics?”         

            “Sorry, it’s just… Seungcheol and Jihoon were the ones who told me about it. They know everything there is to know about mates. There are books – Seungcheol gave me his whole collection. I just assumed he would have told you something about it.”

            He blinks. “Books? There are books that explain what’s happening to me?” He swallows harshly, his heart beating violently in his chest. “Does it say anything about getting another mate?”

            Minghao blinks in confusion, looking at Jeonghan carefully. He must catch the panicked looks in Jeonghan’s eyes because his eyes turn soft with pity and he lets out a long sigh. “Oh hyung, this is worse than I thought. You have a new mark?”

            Jeonghan snaps his head toward the door, narrowing his eyes as he shushes the younger boy. “Not so loud! I don’t want anyone to know yet.”

            “Hyung, oh hyung, you have to break up with Seungcheol. It’s not fair to either of you.”

            He blinks. “I love him.”

            Minghao doesn’t skip a beat. “Do you?”

            He hates that he hesitates. He doesn’t mean to, but he finds himself honestly considering it. Does he love Seungcheol? Yes, but it’s different. He doesn’t find his heart racing like it did before. He tries to think about what he likes about Seungcheol. There’s his smile, his eyes, his kindness, his nature to never give up, the undying loyalty he has to his friends… but he doesn’t love him like he used to.

            The list is the same, but the feelings aren’t.

            In the back of his mind, a boy with a curled smile and bright eyes calls out to him.

            He blinks the image away and he realizes that he’s shaking when he brings his hands up to run them through his hair. What the is happening to him? Seungcheol is all he’s known. From the day Jeonghan turned eighteen, Seungcheol was there – always loving, always helping, always just there. What is he going to do without him? How can he survive without Seungcheol?

            And then ing Joshua comes into his mind again, his eyes sad as he whispers, “You know, I’m not so sure I believe in soulmates anymore.”

            He runs his hands through his hair again, closing his eyes tightly as he breathes harshly. What the is happening? Because now he can’t stop thinking about Joshua – with his kind smiles and bright eyes and the way his entire face lights up when he smiles. Jeonghan thinks it’s crazy, because Joshua is just his friend, he doesn’t even know him that well, but he can’t get him out of his ing mind.

            He hasn’t been able to get him out of his mind since – he blinks, thinks back, and curses because , since when has Joshua consumed his every thought?

            “Oh god,” Jeonghan presses a fist to his mouth, his eyes wet with the realization that has just hit him. He likes Joshua – he likes Joshua a lot. Joshua… as in the same boy who’s dating his friend Jihoon. “What am I doing? I’m messing everything up!”

            Minghao shrugs, looking panicked as he watches Jeonghan freak out. “Are you okay?”

            Jeonghan shakes his head frantically. “What do I do? I can’t – I can’t do this to Seungcheol! I can’t do this! I can’t be without him!”

            Minghao comes over and steers him to the couch, his face worried. “Jeonghan, calm down. You’re shaking really bad.”

            Jeonghan takes a seat but he finds that he can’t stop talking. “How am I supposed to break the heart of my mate?” he lets out a bitter laugh. “Oh yeah – he’s not my mate anymore. Because the ing universe decided to with me specifically. What am I going to do?”

            Jeonghan looks at Minghao sadly. “I don’t love him,” he whispers and he feels wetness coming from his eyes as he admits it out loud. Minghao throws a look at him, full of pity and sadness.

            “Hyung, you have to break up with him. You can’t do this to yourself.”

            Jeonghan thinks about looking Seungcheol in the eyes and breaking his heart. His heart gives a painful lurch in his chest at the thought. Despite the fact that him and Seungcheol have been distant lately, he can’t picture hurting him in anyway. Seungcheol was his first and only boyfriend and the thought of being without makes him feel… empty.

            His Jisoo mark burns painfully over his heart and he reaches a hand out to rub at it lightly. This is all so ed, he thinks, and it has to do with his stupid mark. He blinks back the wetness in his eyes, not sure why he’s crying, but he knows it’s because Minghao is right. He can’t string Seungcheol along when he knows that he’s no longer his mate.

            Minghao is curling Jeonghan in a hug, whispering comforting words in that soft tone of his, and so when Jun finally stumbles out of the room, this is how he finds them: with Jeonghan clutching onto Minghao’s shirt as he sobs over a broken heart that’s not even his.

a/n: all the love ~