Heartquake

Waiting For Your Return

D-334

 

With a little angst... >.<

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In the night of a summer, Siwon walked into a pub, wearing his usual simple yet stunning outfit - black body fitting tee and dark blue jeans with his favourite pair of black boots, revealing the outline of his well-built body though covered under the clothes. He had combed his hair up, showing his flawless and shaved face prefectly. He is definitely out to look good for the night.

 

For he is the main limelight of the night.

 

Siwon looked around with his eyes screwed to watch the surrounding, and broke into a big smile with a pair of deep dimples formed on both sides of his mouth. As he walked over, many heads turned to his direction, girls and some guys in the pub, just to look at the handsome being who looks just like a model. But Siwon only had eyes at the table with people waving at him, and ignored all the whispers as he passed them.

 

"Well well," Hyukjae first stood to have a chest bump with Siwon, "Our main guy is finally here."

Siwon laughed and did more chest bump with the rest of the people presence, "I am sorry to be late. I have to..."

"We know, we know," Donghae who was next to Hyukjae, waved his hand as though he understood, "She must be nagging at you not to do stupid things with us."

"So you guys should not do things way too overboard tonight," Leeteuk knocked both Hyukjae's and Donghae's heads as he spoke, "Restrain yourself."

"Hey! We are not the naughty ones here!" Hyukjae protested, "Tell Heechul and Yesung over there!" 

"Yah! I am your hyung! Be respectful!" Heechul's voice came not far from them, and Siwon laughed as he felt way more comfortable with his friends.

 

"Gosh, do you have to look so good all the times?" Donghae eyed at Siwon and even moved around Siwon just to see the overall appearence.

"Yeah, look at all those girls around, they are preying at you." Yesung came forward and handed a glass to Siwon.

Siwon took a sip before he shrugged, "Well, too bad I am taken."

"And so damn lucky she is, isn't it?" Hyukjae grinned, "But who dares to be her rival? She is one pretty person too, you guys are definitely the perfect pair from heaven."

Siwon lifted his brows, without the next remark though. He took another sip of the drink and looked around as he felt something is missin.

 

"Where is Kyuhyun?" Siwon asked, finally that he realised the maknae of the group is missing.

"Oh," Leeteuk gulped a mouthful of drink before he answered, "He was at the bar counter with Ryeowook, saying that he wanted to get you something special for your bachelor's night."

"Something special?" Siwon turned around with even more curiousity, wondering what is the maknae up to.

 

Just as he was about to look for Kyuhyun, the said man appeared at the table with Ryeowook trailing behind him, both of them hands were carrying ice buckets. He didn't realise Siwon had arrived, so when he saw Siwon standing by the table smiling at him, Kyuhyun gasped and almost dropped the bucket on the floor.

"Ah hyung! You are here!" Kyuhyun blinked his eyes as he secured the bucket in his hands, "I thought..."

"You got some surprise for me?" Siwon took the bucket from Kyuhyun and placed them on the table. 

The others crowd around and peeked into the buckets that Kyuhyun and Ryeowook had brought over, "Beer?"

"This is the special that you prepared for Siwon?" Heechul asked, as he picked up one bottle to inspect, "Whats so special about it?"

"This..." Kyuhyun took the bottle from Heechul and shoved it to Siwon, "This is...I brewed this beer myself, when I was at Germany last year."

"You brewed this, yourself?" Siwon turned the bottle around with much amusement, "Amazing..."

"Yeah," Kyuhyun blushed with a small smile formed, "I thought of wanting to keep this for a special day..."

 

Siwon turned to Kyuhyun as he noticed some sort of a sad tone coming from Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun dismissed it quick enough, and put up a grin as he continued, "Anyway, I guess you can have it first, hyung. Congratulations."

"Yeah congratulations, Siwon!" The rest of his friends each took a beer and cheered for the handsome man. Siwon watched carefully at Kyuhyun though he was still curious of the true meaning behind the specially brewed beer, but he placed the thought aside first as he accepted the cheers from his friends.

 

"So tomorrow onwards, Siwon will be a married man," Heechul smirked as he pulled Siwon to his side, "Lets make sure he has his fun as much as possible before he got tied down to hell!"

"Yeah yeah!!" The rest echoed the excitement, and took turns to drown Siwon with the beer.

 

Except for Kyuhyun, who was standing aside, as he watched his hyungs had their fun with Siwon.

Hiding with a sad smile that matched the sorrows coming from his gaze.

 

 

But of course, the lack of the enthusiasm was noticed by the soon-be-married man. After Siwon was done at least five rounds of drinks with the noisy bunch, he sat down next to Kyuhyun while the rest went off to dance at the dancefloor. Kyuhyun flinched a little as Siwon took the place next to him, but was again, quick enough to give a smile to Siwon. Siwon raised the beer bottle as though telling Kyuhyun they have not toast yet. Kyuhyun complied and clinked their bottles before they both took a sip.

"This is really good," Siwon praised, breaking the comfortable silence between them, "I am impressed that you can brew such delicious beer."

"Well, staying there for a year, it is not difficult to learn that." Kyuhyun replied, but his eyes were on the bottle that he was holding, and his fingers were fidgetting around the tip of the bottle.

"At least you have completed one of your dreams, which is staying in a foreign country for a year," Siwon smiled as he took his hand up to ruffle Kyuhyun's hair, "You have accomplished more than any of us here, and that is not easy."

"But that is not...my biggest dream." Kyuhyun said before he could stop himself, "And...probably the worse decision that...I ever made."

"Why is that so?" Siwon asked with his hand stopped with the ruffle, but Kyuhyun shook his head, refused to speak furthermore.

 

Seeing how Kyuhyun did not want to continue with the conversation, Siwon sighed as he resumed ruffling the fluffy hair that he always enjoy doing. Kyuhyun closed his eyes and leaned to the touch on his hair as he always enjoy the way Siwon touches him.

Perhaps...this will be the last time that they are going to be so intimated.

 

Because starting from tomorrow, Siwon will no longer be paying attention to him...

 

"Maybe you should stop thinking, Kyu..." Siwon broke the silence once again.

"I am not...thinking of anything." Kyuhyun denied though.

"I have known you for years, Kyuhyun, 10 years in fact," Siwon pinched the flushed cheek due to the alcohol, which he was sure to gain a pout from the maknae, "I could tell when you are thinking something aloud."

"No I did not...!" Kyuhyun pouted just the way Siwon predicted.

Siwon chuckled as he looked down at the pouting maknae. At the same time, Kyuhyun lifted his face, gazing right back at Siwon. They shared a brief unspoken contact, before both averted their gazes away, faking coughs to shift the embarrassment aside. To avoid further awkwardness, Kyuhyun picked another bottle and passed to Siwon before he took one for himself. Then he snuggled back to the couch, only to keep himself a little distance away from Siwon. Siwon cocked his brows at the quick yet noticeable action from the maknae, but he kept quiet about it, and took a mouthful of beer down his throat.

It was only half a bottle was gone, before the pair eased the previous awkwardness and back to snuggle against each other. Kyuhyun had his head placed on Siwon's shoulder, swinging his beer bottle playfully as he let out silly giggles, while Siwon had his hand around Kyuhyun's shoulder with his head over the top of Kyuhyun's head. Comfortable with just the warmth coming from the bodies mutually, even when they just seated next to one another, even when there isn't a need to share a single sound in the atmosphere.

 

"Hyung, its been a while since you pampered me with your touch." Kyuhyun stated, with his fingers tapping lightly along Siwon's arm.

"Hmmm," Siwon responded dreamily, as he enjoyed the touch from Kyuhyun on his arm, "Because you were busy running around with your new work, you hardly had time for me."

"You were busy with...her anyway..." Kyuhyun stopped with his tapping, at the mention of Siwon's soon-to-be wife.

"Well, because we had to prepare for the wedding, so..." 

 

"Do you really love her, hyung?" Kyuhyun asked, intercepting of what Siwon wanted to say.

"Why did you ask...?" Siwon frowned at the question.

"Do you really love her, that you have to marry her?" Kyuhyun asked again.

Siwon blinked his eyes at the question rapidly, as he wasn't expecting Kyuhyun to ask him that, "Of course...I...do..."

 

Kyuhyun turned to face Siwon, with his intense eyes burning right into Siwon's orbs. Siwon was caught in the sudden gaze, and an uncertainty raised within him. He was sure he loves her enough to get married with her. And he knows his decision was not wrong. Yet when the simple question was thrown to him by Kyuhyun, somewhere somehow, he wasn't...perfectly sure.

 

"How did you know...she is the right one for you?" Kyuhyun asked again, "I mean, you only met her...last year..."

"When you were in Germany," Siwon nodded his head, "Kyu, I know you are not around when I met her. So you did not have the same reaction as of from our other friends, but she is a nice girl, so..."

"How did you know, she is not after your money or look?" Kyuhyun questioned again, as he lowered his head down, "I have nothing against her, but...I hope...you get the best partner for the rest of your life."

"Oh Kyu..." Siwon knew, the maknae cares for him the most among the group of friends.

 

Always...just for him... Just him...

 

Siwon wrapped his hands around Kyuhyun as he gave the warmest hug to his favourite friend, as though telling Kyuhyun that he was grateful for the thoughts that the maknae had for him. But little did he know, that Kyuhyun was shedding slient tears as Siwon embraced him.

 

Because the hug...hurts...

 

When Siwon broke away from the hug, Kyuhyun wiped his tears quickly and forced out a smile to avoid suspicion from Siwon. Not wanting to reveal the deepest feeling from the bottom of his heart, Kyuhyun took the unfinished bottles and ushered Siwon to drink up. Siwon returned the smile unknowingly, and finished the beer with Kyuhyun. And they continued to drink, almost done with the beer that Kyuhyun had brought along for the bachelor's night. 

Because this will be the last time, that they get to spend moment with each other so leisurely...

 

The last time...

 

 

 

Siwon groaned as he stirred around in the dark, trying to find a cosy spot to rest his heavy head. He tossed around and felt a soft surface against his face. He blinked his eyes when realisation hits him, finding himself on his own bed in his bedroom. He rubbed the temple of his head as he sat up on the bed, and another shock came upon him.

 

He was . Totally.

 

He looked around his bedroom and found his clothes were shattered on the floor. Just when he was wondering what had happened, an outline of a person came at the door of his bedroom. Siwon squeezed his eyes, trying to figure out who the person was as the light was shining from the outside, darkening the face of the person. The person stood by the door before he moved into the bedroom, and closed the door with a lock. Only then, Siwon saw the person after he adjusted to the darkness of the room. And he had to hold his breath when the person stepped forward and closer to him, just as as he is.

 

"K...Kyu?" Siwon gasped as Kyuhyun climbed onto the same bed.

Kyuhyun continued to advance his move without saying anything yet, showing everything upfront of his ness to Siwon.

 

"Kyu...? What is going on...?" Siwon gulped with the rare sight of the Kyuhyun, eyeing up and down of the maknae as he couldn't control himself.

A Kyuhyun with beautiful blushing pink...is very hard to keep his eyes away.

 

"Hyung..." And there was a trail of tears along Kyuhyun's flushed face, as though he was crying earlier on, "Sleep with...me, please?"

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He knew he shouldn't be doing this. He knew, it is wrong to have such thought just before Siwon's wedding day. He knew it all along, but he couldn't stop himself of wanting to have the man for himself, just for a night. He couldn't stop himself when his mind went on repeat mode, telling him this will be the last chance, the last time before Siwon is owned officially by another person. He couldn't stop himself when an urge came to his head as he watched Siwon smiled and caressed his cheek so tenderly. He couldn't stop himself not to have one last chance, his one last wish to come true just for a night.

Since he can't have his biggest dream, he could at least...own the man for a night, before he sealed the deepest feelings for the man back to the bottom of his heart.

 

So he took the chance, volunteering himself to send the tipsy man back home, ensuring to his hyungs that he will take care of Siwon. And to his luck, Siwon was concussed on the way back, having no resistance when Kyuhyun dragged him back to his apartment, when Kyuhyun stripped his clothes one by one, when Kyuhyun planted a secret kiss on his lips as he was being stripped.

But Kyuhyun got scared after he was done stripping down Siwon, as he saw the white wedding suit that Siwon is going to wear tomorrow, hanging at the outside of the wardrobe. So he ran out of the bedroom, and cornered himself at the edge of the living room, crying out his heart. He was disgusted by himself of doing such sin to Siwon, and he was scared that Siwon will get disgusted by him. So he cried and cried, over the pain from his hurting heart, over his own guilt, and feeling sorry for the girl that Siwon is going to get married to.

 

Kyuhyun snapped his head up, at the thought  that Siwon is going to get married tomorrow, and Siwon can never be his anymore. 

Anymore, no matter how much he loves the man, no matter how long he loves the man, Siwon can never be his after tomorrow...

 

With a new determination, Kyuhyun stood up and stripped his clothes away, before returning to the bedroom. And that was where Siwon came around from his tipsiness finding himself on his bed.

 

 

"Hyung... Sleep with me, please?" Kyuhyun asked timidly. He kneeled in front of Siwon, with his hands on his thighs, keeping his hands to himself for a start.

Siwon frowned with the request, "But, Kyu...why...?"

"I..." Kyuhyun lifted his head, but was quick to lower it down before he mumbled, "I...have no other choice, isn't it?"

Siwon deepened his frown as he couldn't picture the whole situation, "Kyu, if this is your prank, then you better stop.."

"NO!" Kyuhyun shot his head up, "I am not joking!"

"How is this not a joke?!" Siwon snapped, "You stripped me , and you are yourself on my bed, what kind of game are you playing now?"

"I am NOT playing any game!" Kyuhyun cried eagerly, "I am..."

But not waiting Kyuhyun to finish, Siwon glared with anger fuming inside, "Kyuhyun, stop this. If this is a prank for the bachelor's night, stop it before I got real angry."

 

"I love you, hyung!" Having no other choice, he shouted. He shouted his deepest and darkest feeling that he had been burying all along. Finally, Kyuhyun revealed his deepest feeling for the man in front.

 

Siwon widened his eyes at Kyuhyun who was trembling with tears flowing down from his doe eyes. He loves looking at Kyuhyun's eyes because they are always sparkling with brightness. But not today, because the bright eyes were blurred with the continous tears.

"Kyu..." Siwon whispered confusingly, as he reached out for Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun shook his head, refusing the pitiful touch from Siwon.

 

"I love you," Kyuhyun declared again as the tears covered his face, "I love you since we met 10 years ago. And I fall deeper in love with you each time we are together. I couldn't stop myself even though I had to bury this feeling for years because you only treat me as friend. I was thrilled whenever you touched me. My heart went fluttering whenever you smiled at me and ruffled my hair. I grinned stupidly to myself whenever you showed care and concern, though I know you are nice to almost everyone. You are always with me, whenever I need you, especially the time that I decided to go Germany for a year. But that was the stupidest idea because you found someone that you are interested in when I wasn't around, and that wasn't me. I regretted it totally..."

Siwon gasped as he heard the confession from Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun wiped the tears away as he continued, "You have no idea how painful I was when I came back from Germany, hearing the news of you attached to a girl. But I told myself, it is ok, you are just dating her. So I waited, with the special brewed beer that I thought I could give you when I am ready to confess. But how wrong I was... My heart almost died when you said you are going to marry her. I thought nothing could be more pained than seeing your happy face as you broke the news to us. I had to keep myself calm from breaking down, and forced to congratulate you... Hyung, it was really hurting... It was..."

 

"My biggest dream is not going to stay in a foreign country for a year, but...to be your love."

 

Siwon held Kyuhyun's bare arms, hoping to ease the tremble from the maknae. "Kyu...Why didn't you tell me...?"

"Tell you what?" Kyuhyun snapped, "That I love you? Will you accept my love?"

"I..." Siwon was startled with the question. Will...he?

Kyuhyun knew better, and smiled bitterly, "I know you are not in love with me, hyung... Otherwise, for the past 10 years..."

"Then why are you requesting this now?" Siwon tightened his grip on Kyuhyun's arms, "Why are you telling me this now? Just before I..."

"Because I want to have a part of you in me..." Kyuhyun closed his eyes as he requested, "I want...to own you for a night, just this night...before...before I finally shut away my unrequited love for you."

"What...?" Siwon couldn't believe his ears, hearing such request from Kyuhyun.

 

"Hyung..." Kyuhyun reached to bring Siwon's palm over his bare chest, "I know this is wrong. I know this is unfair to you and your...soon-to-be wife, but please..." Kyuhyun teared out again, pressing the warm palm against his beating chest, "Please give me a night. I just want...to give my first time to someone I love, who will never be mine... I just want...to be loved by someone I love who I can never own..."

Siwon watched Kyuhyun's fierce tears flowed down his face without control, unknowingly, his heart gradually melted. Melted for the fragile-looking maknae, melted at the heartfelt confession from his long-time friend, melted at the heartbroken request that not only breaks Kyuhyun's heart but his own as well. He didn't know, that Kyuhyun has been in love with him for such a long time, yet...he has no idea... Because...because...Kyuhyun never show this part, this profound part to him, never at all.

His eyes wandered down to where Kyuhyun held his hand against the milky chest. The contrast of his tanned skin and the snowy skin seems rather attractive in his eyes. He never know that he and Kyuhyun can be so...compatible. And the skin under his palm is so...so...soft, so delicious looking, that he wanted...wanted to have a taste with his tongue.

Siwon looked up back at Kyuhyun who was still tearing, his cheeks flushed bashfully red, that Siwon thought to be endearing. Kyuhyun's plump and pink lips trembled due to his devastated emotion, so without thinking much, Siwon reached up to brush his finger against the sensitive surface. Kyuhyun hiccuped with the touch on his lips, and lifted his teary eyes at Siwon. Siwon hitched a breath as Kyuhyun locked his gaze on him, and both couldn't look away with their hearts pumping fast for each other.

 

"Please hyung... I love you... Please just...just love me for tonight... Please..."

 

Before Kyuhyun could react, he was being pinned down by Siwon, smashing their lips together. Kyuhyun teared when he felt Siwon's lips against his own, and the familiar hands were touching him all over his heated body. He wrapped his hands around Siwon to deepen their kiss, and his legs around Siwon's waist to pull him closer, rubbing their bodies especially their ereacting belows purposefully. He knew after this will further break his heart, and he will never be able to heal from the heartbreak, but he will never regret as he finally gotten the secret wish ever since he had harboured feelings for Siwon. 

 

Even though...this is wrong...

Even though, this could be the worse heartquake...

 

 

Siwon woke up the next morning, the other side of his bed empty. He sat up as he looked around the room, but there wasn't any sight of Kyuhyun. Siwon bit his lips, wondering where would Kyuhyun be nervously. He was worried, worried for Kyuhyun's sore bottom since they had done for a couple of rounds before they fall asleep, worried that he might hurt Kyuhyun with the roughness since he was sure that he bruised Kyuhyun inside out, and worried...worried for Kyuhyun's broken heart.

 

"Thank you...hyung... Thank you for giving me...this last memory of us together... I will always remember...how you love me tonight... I love you, Siwon hyung..."

 

That was what Kyuhyun last said before they drifted off to sleep. And Siwon remembered that he had placed his arms around Kyuhyun's waist, as he sniffed Kyuhyun's scent and their mixed scent to sleep. And he thought...when the morning comes, Kyuhyun would still be around.

Perhaps this is a better decision, that maybe Kyuhyun has not idea how to face Siwon after a night of intense . Siwon would not know what to do too, so...perhaps...

 

Siwon sighed as he ruffled his messy bed hair, frustrated with himself of being so oblivious to Kyuhyun's feeling, and hurts him indirectly through the years. And now, after what they had done the previous night, he couldn't stop thinking of Kyuhyun. Thinking of him as friends over the years, thinking of how comfortable they are whenever they are together, thinking of his beautiful smiles, his beautiful eyes, his snarky remarks and jokes, his bubbly and lovable character.

And...thinking of them perfect their bodies fit with each other, thinking of how Kyuhyun moaned his name amazingly as he came, thinking of how the beautiful body under him glowed addictively...

 

A text notification came that broke Siwon's train of thoughts. He breathed in and out deeply before he took his phone.

It was Hyukjae, his best man for his wedding day.

 

"Hey brother! We are coming in half an hour's time! Oh and congratulations! See you in a bit!"

 

Hyukjae and Donghae were supposed to come over his house to help him prepare for the wedding day. He was supposed to be excited with his marriage. But...but.. Can he still continue with the wedding when his mind is full of Kyuhyun?

 

Especially when Kyuhyun will be sitting down there with the guest, watching him as he says his wedding vows, as he exchanges the wedding rings with his soon-to-be wife...

And probably, with his heart broken, crying silently while he forced out a smile to give his blessing...

 

"Oh Kyu..."

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"Congratulations Siwon!" The guests of the wedding greeted the man as he walked into the church before the actual ceremony. Siwon put up a smile and nodded his head but he continued walking around instead of pausing to the guests. 

After a few glances, he found the people he was looking for, and paced up before they disappeared.

 

"Hyung!" Siwon shouted and waved his hand at Leeteuk who was chatting with a few more of their mutual friends.

"Siwon? What are you doing here?" Leeteuk arched his brows with confusion, "The ceremony is going to start soon."

"I know, I just want to know where is Kyuhyun." Siwon asked.

"Kyuhyun?" Heechul who was with Leeteuk, voiced out, "He was here a while ago."

"Here?!" Siwon exclaimed. So...he came...

"Yeah, he was here talking to us just a while ago." Leeteuk confirmed, "He said he needs to go somewhere for a minute... Hey Siwon!"

 

Before Leeteuk could finish, Siwon dashed off to look for Kyuhyun. He did not know what he would say to Kyuhyun, but he wanted to...he wanted to see Kyuhyun before the wedding ceremony.

After turning a few corners, there was Kyuhyun, leaning down against the wall, hiding his face between his knees in the squatting position. Siwon's heart clenched at how vulnerable Kyuhyun is, and he too, squatted down facing Kyuhyun.

 

"Kyu..." Siwon whispered, and the head snapped up at the whisper. 

A tearing face was revealed, but Kyuhyun reached up to wipe his face as quick. 

"Hyung! What are you doing...?" Kyuhyun stood up abruptly, acting as though nothing wrong with him.

Siwon followed, but Kyuhyun averted the gaze on him. He grabbed Kyuhyun's arms and turned him around to face him directly. Kyuhyun gasped at the contact, and wanted to wriggle out from Siwon's hold. But Siwon held him firmly down to the ground.

 

"Hyung!" Kyuhyun exclaimed, "You shouldn't be here...!"

"Kyu, are you...ok?" Siwon asked, ignoring the exclaim, "Are you...hurt?"

"What?" Kyuhyun then realised what Siwon was refering to, "I...I am fine..."

"But it was your first time, right?" Siwon asked again, "You must be hurting..."

"Hyung!" Kyuhyun got frightened with Siwon's words, and turned his head around anxiously, worrying that there would be others around to hear them, "Please! Don't!"

"Kyu..." Siwon wanted to start again, but Kyuhyun shook his head and removed Siwon's hands on him.

 

"Hyung, please..." Kyuhyun had to control himself not to tear again, "You don't have to...remember... You should just forget about last night, and carry on with your wedding. I..."

"But Kyu," Siwon took Kyuhyun's wrist before he could turn away, "I couldn't just leave you alone..."

"Hyung!" Kyuhyun slapped Siwon's hand away, "Then what can you do?! Cancel the wedding? Hurt another person?! Hyung, she is innocent. She shouldn't be as painful as me... It is...it is enough for just me to be in pain. So, please hyung... Go, go and get married to your loved one. I am fine..."

"You are not fine! Stop saying that you are fine, Kyu!" Siwon tried to hold Kyuhyun again, but Kyuhyun held his hands up in the air, and shook his head as he stepped backward.

"Hyung, please...don't make me hate myself even more," Kyuhyun wiped his flowing tears desperately as he tried to force out word by word, "So just...just do what you are supposed to do. Be happy with her, and I will be happy too..."

"How can I be happy when you are not?! Kyu!" Siwon called out frustratedly as he ruffled his styled hair furiously, which somehow startled Kyuhyun to stop with his move, "I cannot stop thinking about you! I cannot focus anymore without thinking how hurt can you be, falling in love with a guy who has been doing nothing but bringing pain to you, Kyu! I cannot...I cannot..."

Kyuhyun could feel his heart stop for a beat with Siwon's desperate cries. He held his breath and took a step forward without himself knowing, but as he flickered his eyes around, there he saw the bride from a far distance, smiling brightly at the guests around her.

 

She is happy. And Siwon is supposed to be happy with her too.

 

So he retrieved his feet once more, stepping backwards further away from Siwon. Siwon widened his eyes as he watched Kyuhyun getting further again, and he tried once more to grab Kyuhyun. But Kyuhyun snapped away, not wanting to be touched by Siwon again, afraid that he couldn't control anymore with Siwon's warmth and comforting hands on his pathetic body.

 

He has to go...he has to...

 

"No, Kyu, you can't just walk away like this..." Siwon pleaded but Kyuhyun ignored the plead.

"Congratulations, hyung..." Kyuhyun mouthed as he walked away, with his eyes still on Siwon. Siwon wanted to run after Kyuhyun, but his guests found him and surrounded him with greetings and blessings. Siwon tiptoed hoping to keep Kyuhyun in sight, but Kyuhyun had turned his back to him, walking away silently..

Silently, yet his tears couldn't stop flowing down his face as he walked away.

 

The end...its the end...

 

Once he was freed from his guests, Siwon ran around to look for Kyuhyun again, but Hyukjae caught him from nowhere exasperatedly.

"Where the hell are you? The ceremony is going to start in a few minutes!" Hyukjae dragged Siwon away back to the front of the church.

But Siwon turned around to grab Hyukjae, "Hyuk, have you seen Kyuhyun?" 

"Kyuhyun? I didn't see him, I thought he was with Leeteuk hyung and Heechul hyung earlier one." Hyukjae shrugged his shoulders.

"No, after that." Siwon prompted. But Hyukjae shook his head.

 

Just then, a hand appeared with a letter. Siwon turned and saw Ryeowook standing behind him.

"Kyu asked me to give you this..." Ryeowook pressed the letter to Siwon.

Siwon took the letter as he glanced around but Kyuhyun was nowhere in sight, "Where is he now?"

Ryeowook sighed, "He left."

Siwon bit his lips as he clenched onto the letter.

 

"Did anything happened between you and Kyuhyun last night?" Leeteuk appeared and asked.

Siwon turned to the question but he didn't know how to answer that. How can he say out the things he and Kyuhyun had done last night?

But his fidgetting reaction did not go unnoticed by his friends. Leeteuk and Heechul sighed at the same time, while Hyukjae and Donghae eyed at each other awkwardly.

"He must have done it." Leeteuk started first.

"He confessed, right?" Heechul asked which caught Siwon in surprise.

"And he asked you to love him for just a night, right?" Leeteuk continued, "That silly boy..."

"How did you...?" Siwon widened his eyes at the accurate accusation.

 

"You are blind but we are not, Siwon ah..." Hyukjae pat on Siwon's shoulder.

"We knew it a long time ago." Donghae sighed, "It was not difficult to guess the true feeling of the maknae, especially when you are the only one he will look at with that specially in love eyes."

"Then why didn't you guys tell me?!" Siwon bellowed, getting even more frustrated when he is the only one who did not know about Kyuhyun's feeling for him.

His friends looked around at each other and grimaced when all were thinking of the same thing.

"You should know the maknae better than any of us, Siwon," Leeteuk sighed, "He will never want to destroy a friendship to a relationship that he has no confidence in. He is more than contented to be your favourite dongsaeng, getting your pamper and care though he knew it was nothing like romantic love."

"But he was suffering inside," Ryeowook continued, being the next closest to Kyuhyun other than Siwon, "He never show it out openly, but whenever he forced a smile, that is to cover his real emotion. That is how he has been doing, ever since he knew about your relationship with her."

"And the shock on his face when you broke the news of the marriage to us," Donghae recalled, "Though he was fast to cover it in front of you, but we knew, he was crying deep down his heart."

 

Siwon closed his eyes and squeezed them tightly, hearing that his friends knew more than he does. He felt so failed of being Kyuhyun's friend, and even went on to hurt him further last night. 

"Siwon ah," Leeteuk as the oldest among his friends, pat on Siwon's shoulder, "We shouldn't be telling you all this since you do not have the same feelings as Kyuhyun does, especially today is your wedding day. But, seeing how he requested a night with you and you accepted it, we couldn't be anymore quiet. So, now, you better think carefully whether to continue the wedding. We will try to postpone the ceremony a little for you."

The rest nodded their heads, and Ryeowook pointed the letter in Siwon's hand, urging the man to read while he thinks.

 

Siwon locked himself alone in a room before he read the letter. And without knowing, tears from the corner of his eyes as he read.

 

Hyung, I know...I shouldn't be saying anything more after what we had done last night. I asked myself if I should come for your wedding, but I came in the end. I thought I will fine watching you getting married to someone else. I thought so... Yet, I couldn't bear to look at you, standing in front of the aisle waiting for your bride, and you saying your wedding vows, and...kiss the bride. I just couldn't... I couldn't not just because the person I love is getting married, but also...the things that we had done came flashing in my head. The passed years where we were having fun together, doing common things together, and we never stop laughing whenever we are together. And...the night before...I couldn't stop thinking the way you held me as you showed me your love. It was so loving, so tender, yet so heartbroken, that though I felt the love from you, but I was in fact tearing inside. I am sorry, hyung... I am sorry that I had fallen in love with you and even deeper now that I cannot bear to be part in your wedding ceremony. I am sorry, that I had to leave before I do something even more worse. So...thank you hyung, for the last night. Thank you for loving me, even when it was just a night. Thank you hyung, that I have something of you in me to remember, and I believed that one day, not sure when though, that I can shut this feelings and lock it deep in my heart. So hopefully, by the next time you see me, we can go back to the days where we were innocently just friends. Congratulations again, hyung. And...I love you."

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A month later

Kyuhyun walked along the path which led to the little cottage house that he had been living for a month. He smiled and bowed to each friendly face that waved at him, for his hands were busied with a big and full brown paper bag. He is going to start with a new flavour beer that he will learn with the brewing master. A new flavour for the autumn. He was sure the flavour will be the best that he made because autumn is his season.

 

"Because autumn smells like you, Kyuhyun. Cool refreshing breeze with tints of sweetness in the air." 

 

And that someone, somehow appeared in front of his cottage house, leaning against the railing so leisurely, still looking so handsome and dashing. Kyuhyun blinked his eyes, thinking he must be mad to have illusion of the man. And he shouldn't be having these illusion since he is moving on well. At least, that is what he thought so. So he remained his calmness, hoping that this illusion will go away soon. But the closer he got to his house, the clearer the outline of the figure and the handsome features got even more defined.

 

"Damn..." Kyuhyun cursed as he was hundred percent sure, that Siwon is here, right here in front of his house.

 

"Kyu." Siwon straightened himself, when Kyuhyun was finally in front of him.

"Hyung..." Kyuhyun could feel the tremble in his voice, for he had never seen the man for a month, and yet the impact is still as strong. Moving on well, my foot...

"Kyu..." Siwon called out again, and threw his arms around Kyuhyun, causing the bag to drop onto the ground. Kyuhyun gasped when his body was slammed against Siwon's chest, and he couldn't find his voice to acknowledge the sudden reunion.

Siwon closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in the scent that he missed for a month, and tightened his strong arms around Kyuhyun. Not knowing what to do, Kyuhyun's hands were hanging in the air as he tried to figure the whole situation. They stood still on the ground for a few minutes, till Siwon pulled away after he had gotten hold of Kyuhyun.

 

"Kyu..." Siwon brought his hand up, and brushed Kyuhyun's cheek with his knuckles, "I missed you."

Kyuhyun's eyes followed the hand caressing his skin, and the blush came instantly. But he was quick to snap from his daze and ached his head away from the touch, "Hyung, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, of course." Siwon smiled as though it was right to do so, hand still embracing Kyuhyun

"No," Kyuhyun frowned, "You are not supposed to be here."

"And why is that so?" Siwon threw the question back.

"Because..." Kyuhyun hesitated but Siwon urged him to continue, "Because you are not supposed to know I am here. And I should be alone here, moving on by myself."

"I know..." Siwon nodded his head, "Leeteuk hyung told me that I shouldn't be bothering you. But...I cannot control myself. I am going crazy soon without seeing you. I reread the letter you wrote for me, thinking that you are still there with me by my side. But you aren't and I wasn't happy at all."

"But...why?" Now Kyuhyun is truly confused. Because he had told his hyungs not to tell him about Siwon, so he could move on without thinking of Siwon. 

Siwon sighed and pressed his head over Kyuhyun's shoulder, "They told me I should figure out my feelings before I look for you. They warned me not to hurt you anymore. So, I took a month to gather and garner all the thoughts, thinking of all the possibilities and consequences, and finally...I decided."

"Decided about what?" Still in his confused state, Kyuhyun asked.

 

Siwon lifted his head facing Kyuhyun, and flashed his dimples and the dazzling smile that Kyuhyun always love, before he announced his final decision, "I want to be your love, and you to be mine."

 

Is...is his biggest dream coming true? 

 

But it couldn't be, because... "But you are married!" Kyuhyun exclaimed, wondering if Siwon has gone mad, "How could you...how could you be so unfaithful to your wife, hyung!"

Yet, Siwon chuckled, and that got Kyuhyun even more furious, "If this is your joke, you better stop hyung! I am moving on pretty well, so don't play with my heart." He pushed Siwon away and grabbed the bag, intended to run into his cottage house. But Siwon was quicker and wrapped his hands around Kyuhyun's waist from behind.

"Hyung!!" Kyuhyun cried.

"Who are you to speak about unfaithful, Kyu..." Siwon muttered into his ear, "When you are the one who requested for me to love you before my wedding day?"

"I...!" Kyuhyun turned around wanted to defend, but his lips were caught by Siwon's own lips. He gasped when their lips made contact after a month, and everything that he wanted to lock away was released once more. The spark of the kiss, the touch of the moist surface, the hot breath that both were giving out, everything just remained the same.

 

Kyuhyun clenched tight to the brown bag, as Siwon continued to stamp their lips together. He even let out a quiet moan when Siwon brought one of his hands up to cup his face, deepening the kiss with his tongue roaming on the plump surface before he invaded inside his hot caverns. Kyuhyun squeezed his eyes, as he accepted the tongue inside his mouth, and even wiggled his own wet muscle out to make contact.

They kissed for goddamn how long, before they pulled away panting hard for air. Siwon continued to plant chaste kisses before he stopped to place their foreheads together. Kyuhyun had no idea why Siwon is doing such act, but he sighed with contentment, having Siwon's forehead over his own, and the soft panting sound sirening around his ears.

 

"Moving on, you said?" Siwon breathed, with his eyes staring right at Kyuhyun's bright orbs that he always love to look.

"Hyung..." Kyuhyun mumbled in his still dazed mode, but before he could say anything else, his heart cringed when Siwon pressed another kiss against his own.

This time, a little forceful, a little more aggressive that Kyuhyun was sure his lips to be swollen at the end. Siwon bit the plumpness before he pulled the tender soft surface in between his lips, them as hard that a moan came right down his throat. Satisfied with his masterpiece, Siwon smirked from the corner of his mouth, and returned a moan as he invaded the familiar stuffy caverns once more with his tongue caressing the other wet muscle welcoming him. Kyuhyun clenched his eyes again as he allowed Siwon to abuse his lips, though still confused and his mind was messy enough that rational is not within his range. And he couldn't control himself of letting out more moans showing how much he enjoyed whatever Siwon is doing to him.

Only when the forceful kiss turned gentle, as he could feel Siwon was fondling his lips with his own so gentle that his heart was blooming with sweetness, only then, Kyuhyun blinked his eyes together with blushes decorating his flushed cheeks.

 

"I missed this too..." With a few more pants, Siwon spoke, "I missed kissing you, and I missed seeing your pretty blush."

"Hyung... Please tell me...why are you doing this?" After the beautiful reunion of their kisses, Kyuhyun came back to reality, "Just why..."

 

"Isn't it obvious enough?" Siwon gave another kiss before he smiled in answering, "I am not married, because I fall in love with you."

 

Kyuhyun blinked his eyes rapidly as he took in the information. Sure, he told his friends not to tell him about Siwon, but shouldn't they tell him this important news? And now he is like an idiot, the only one not knowing about Siwon's marital status. 

But how could Siwon just cancel the wedding, because of him?

 

His eyes wandered to the hands that were hugging him, and true enough, no ring in sight. 

No ring...

 

"You must be joking." Yet, Kyuhyun denied the news and wriggled himself out of Siwon's warmth, but Siwon would not give up so easily however.

"You think I could easily reach you if it is a joke?" Siwon affirmed his hold on Kyuhyun, locking their gazes. He is determined not to let go, not like that time on his wedding day. "Do you think our friends could let me off so easily if I am not serious? Kyuhyun, you are well-protected by them. And from now on, I will be the one protecting and loving you the most."

"But...but you never love me like how I love you, not that way," Kyuhyun still couldn't believe himself to have such luck of having his unrequited love returned, "How do you know this is not out of pity?"

"I took one month, freaking one month to sort out what I had for you, Kyu," Siwon breathed deeply, pressing their foreheads again, "And no matter how I sort, you are always there. In the past, present and definitely my future. I want you to be with me, forever.  That is when...I realised, I had fallen for you. Fallen in love with you, Kyu..."

Kyuhyun started to tear again after a month. Siwon noticed the tears and shifted his head up to and kiss them away.

"I am sorry to be this late in noticing the feelings for you. But I am sure this is not about pity. Definitely not. And gosh, I couldn't even think straight whenever our precious night came to mind, Kyu. I wanted so so much, to love you again, except that this time, the feeling is mutual."

 

"Hyung..." Kyuhyun sniffed with new tears flowing down, "I..."

"Am I too late?" Siwon asked hushly, afraid that Kyuhyun had lost the feelings for him, "Have you lock the love away permanently?"

Kyuhyun shook his head with a the cute pout that Siwon loves, "I tried, but... It can never be locked away. My feeling...remains the same..."

Siwon chuckled and smashed their lips for another round of kissing, and this time, Kyuhyun was even more ready to surrender to the love that Siwon was pouring at him.

 

No more heartquake, no more broken heart, and no more unrequited love.

 

Breaking away from the kiss, Siwon lifted Kyuhyun up, carrying him in bridal style that shocked the maknae. Kyuhyun gripped to his brown bag for his dear life, but Siwon smiled as he placed another kiss on the lips before he moved. Kyuhyun flushed his eyes with confusion, only to realise that Siwon was walking back to the cottage house.

"Hyung..." Kyuhyun whined so adorably that Siwon could have just flung him onto the couch at the living room and do him.

"Shhhhh..." Siwon ignored the whine and moved to a room which he assumed to be Kyuhyun's bedroom.

"I have things to do~" Kyuhyun flicked his brown bag to get Siwon's attention, "I am supposed to brew some beer today.... Ohhhh~" 

Siwon threw Kyuhyun onto the bed, and grabbed the brown bag to dump it onto the floor. Then, he reached for Kyuhyun's hands and pinned them above the head as he towered over. Kyuhyun held his breath and widened his eyes, as he saw the hungry look from Siwon.

 

"Beer can wait," Siwon kissed the forehead, "Let me love you again," Another kiss on the nose, "I want to make love to you again," One kiss on the right cheek, "And tell you that I love you as I my love in you," One kiss on the left cheek, "And I want to hear you moan my name and tell me that you love me again," One last kiss on the lips, "Then we will brew a special beer to commemorate this day as our anniversary of love, and we will go back to our home, and live together as a loving couple."

"Hyung..." Kyuhyun broke into a sweet smile, as he imagined the things that Siwon had just said. With so many "loves" that were mentioned.

"My name, Kyu..." Siwon returned the smile and requested in his husky seductive voice.

 

"Siwon... Won..." And their lips were connected once more, as a start to make love with mutual feelings.

 

"I love you, my Kyu baby..." Siwon finally confessed, with their and heated bodies ready for more.

Kyuhyun giggled, and kissed the man above him, before he said the same, "I love you, Siwonnie.. I love you so so much!"

 

And thus, a new start will begin...

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Luhma1817 #1
Chapter 21: Well, well, these two always have a y way to solve a longing and such a lack, do not they?
Thank you very much for all, I'm going to miss your update but I will take advantage and reread these 21 Wonkyu. Maybe this fills the gap left by Kyu.
mennie68
#2
Chapter 21: Thankyu for this beautiful wonkyu story for sharing here♡y hotness overload of wonkyu(^_-) take care and stay healthy♡♡♡*^O^*\(^o^)/
wonkyulegs
#3
Chapter 21: I think for the last chapter this one is really good bcs i really like a desperate siwon when kyuhyun about lol. thank you for writing this srsly you help me with my dose of wonkyu fic haha and you did a good job. Sad that you wont be updating regulary for kyuhyun's countdown every month like how you did with siwon but its okay im still thankful for what you did hehehe ^^
wonsugarkyu-b
#4
Chapter 21: ended already ? hard to believe that its updated for the last time in counting down Siwon's enlistment but really thankful for the help it gave me in coping with the lack of WonKyu moments for the past 21 months and hopefully a few updates more as we wait for Kyuhyun's turn to make a comeback.
♡♡♡
Angela17 #5
Chapter 21: Wow.. Time flies so quickly..
ThanKyu for this fics.. 21 months
BabyBugsy
#6
Chapter 21: Thankyou for make this story every month who can accompany me through all 21 month waited of siwon~~ realy help me to handle my missed of him.

Well this so DAMN HOT AS LIKE AS USUALLY YOU DID, you were so good make them so y on the bed and had errotic time. This suprise idea really good >< and for god sake kyuhyun present was damn dangerous stuff hahaha.
Siwon must keep this, dont lose it even you didnt want anyone see your baby ^^
I can felt their missed and posessivenes of them collaborated even they have .. Woaahh I LOVE THIS. GOOD JOB MIN.


today was really a great day bcs our siwon back. Just wait for his existence on stage next time..
Lookig forwards for your next story and crazy ide of you.. Love youuu... <3
Lokikitten #7
Chapter 21: Wow ..it is hot and steamy ...but beautiful at the same time....thanks..
BabyBugsy
#8
Chapter 20: Hihihi this idea is really cute~~ wook cupid is ao much funny and cute, blabbering everytime to kyu is such a mother for him hahahaa... Even he did sone mistake but it s really help siwon to confess his feeling as soon. Yeayyy!!! Act he dont need cupid fo grow his feeling to kyu, thats feelig hv been there since first ㅋㅋㅋㅋ ,,i like itttt
Luhma1817 #9
Chapter 20: Ryeowook stole the scene in this, I kept laughing loudly with the amusing interaction between him and Kyu. I like it even more when there's an unsuspecting Kyu.
feddie12 #10
Chapter 20: Ahh so sweet