A week later

It was a week since Jaejoong and Yunho had looked into the new apartment that they planned to move in and in the end they’ve made a decision that the apartment was perfect for them, both really excited to finally start living together. Since Yunho didn’t have a lot of his stuff, he had already moved most of his stuff from Changmin’s apartment into the new one. Jaejoong, on the other hand, had a lot of things, so the couple was pretty busy with putting everything into boxes and then driving the man’s stuff into their new apartment. Jaejoong didn’t even know from where he got so much stuff, he was expecting not to have so many things since he was living in such a small place. However, doing this with Yunho wasn’t really that difficult and the two of them had fun with packing Jaejoong’s things, since they couldn’t wait to finally start officially living together.

Since the new semester hadn’t started yet, Yunho spent most of the time at home and so did Jaejoong, because he didn’t have any classes and the only thing that he went into the university for was for meetings or exams. He was more than happy that it was ‘holiday’ season, because that meant more time spending together with his younger lover and also, they could move quicker this way since they spent most of the days with packing the things. Yunho was also happy that it was the vacation season; he was sick of going to university everyday and being scared of someone telling about his and Jaejoong’s relationship. He didn’t even know how much stress that put him under and after a long time, he felt like he could finally breathe normally. On the other hand, he was kind of anxious about the next semester; he didn’t know what to expect at his new university. He knew that he was going to spend the first few weeks there mostly alone, because he wasn’t going to know anyone. But the professors seemed really nice; even nicer than on his previous university, so because of this he tried to be positive.

Yunho was currently in Jaejoong’s living room, while the other one wasn’t at home at the time. Jaejoong had taken some of the boxes, which were already packed with his things, into their new apartment, while Yunho decided to stay at Jaejoong’s apartment and continue with putting things into the boxes. A small smile appeared on the young man’s face and he sighed happily; the two of them had gotten even closer during the past week. With helping Jaejoong pack his things, he had kind of gotten to know the other one even better and he was happy about that, he wanted to know everything about the man and the more than he had learned about him, the more he loved him. Yunho chuckled at his own childish thoughts; was there even a limit on how much could you love someone?

Yunho then walked to a bookcase and smiled when he saw how many books Jaejoong had and then his smile grew when he remembered that the man was always telling him that he should read more. He then brought a box closer to the bookcase and started putting the books into it, being careful to put them into the box in a correct order. When he was finally done with that, he noticed three more books on the shelf, but Yunho soon found out that they weren’t really books, but albums with Jaejoong’s pictures in it. A wide smirk appeared on the young man’s face, grabbed the three albums and then sat onto the floor, opening the first album. There was no way that he was going to miss out such an opportunity. He had always wanted to see how Jaejoong looked when he was younger; Yunho knew that the other one must’ve been even more adorable in the past!

When Yunho opened up the first album, he quite quickly realised that that album was filled with pictures from Jaejoong’s childhood. On all of the pictures, Jaejoong had a bright smile on his face and he could really see that the other one had a great childhood and a great foster family. He was quite often photographed with the company of his sisters and on one of the pictures, Jaejoong had pigtails, being dressed in one of his sister’s dress as Yunho could see; it looked like she had given Jaejoong a make over and Yunho couldn’t help himself but to chuckle at that sight. He looked adorable and Yunho then gently placed his fingers over Jaejoong, sighing happily. As he kept turning the pages, Yunho was sure that his heart was going to smile from the man’s cuteness; God he was too adorable as a child as well.

“God, he was so cute,” said Yunho to himself and then continued to look at the pictures for quite some time. He was kind of disappointed that he hadn’t found those earlier. “I wonder what’s in those other albums. I bet he’s even more adorable on other pictures.”

When Yunho was done with the first album, he opened up the other one and realised that pictures were taken when Jaejoong was much older; in his high school years. During those years, Jaejoong had much longer hair than Yunho was used to and he was quite surprised when he saw that the man was wearing a lot of piercings at that time; was the other one a rebel? He thought so until he had found a picture of Jaejoong, who was wearing a collar and some cat ears and a tail… what, a Halloween maybe? It didn’t matter to Yunho what time of the year it was, but what he knew is that he couldn’t tear his eyes away from that sight; Jaejoong looked adorable as a kitten as well.

“Why is he so perfect?” said Yunho under his breath and then closed the second album when he was done with it.

The young man realised that his heart was beating a bit faster and his face was feeling a little bit warm. A happy smile appeared on Yunho’s face when he opened up the third album and saw a much older Jaejoong looking back at him. At the picture Jaejoong looked really handsome and to his left, a taller man was standing. Guessing that that must’ve been one of Jaejoong’s friends, Yunho didn’t think of it much and started going through the pages, but he soon found out that the ‘friend’ from the first page, wasn’t just a ‘friend’ to Jaejoong. On the pictures, Jaejoong and that man were hugging, laughing together and even kissing. Yunho’s heart fell to the pit of his stomach when he saw the pictures and the last picture, which was torn in half, was enough to let him know who the other man was… Shiwon.

At that realisation, Yunho’s heart started beating faster and he started going through the album one more time, carefully studying every single picture of Jaejoong and Shiwon. Jaejoong really looked happy with the other one and to think that Shiwon was going to cause him such a heartbreak later on. At the same time, Yunho had to admit it that Shiwon looked really happy with Jaejoong as well, so why did he tell him all of those horrible things of never being in love with him? As he kept on observing the way that Jaejoong was looking at the man, he could really see love and admiration in his eyes for Shiwon, so because of this Yunho became kind of upset. He lied to Jaejoong! He gripped the album tighter and grit his teeth. He didn’t even know the other male, but he had already disliked him a lot. Even his smile seemed fake.

After a while, Yunho placed the album onto the floor and leaned against the wall. There was another question that was bothering Yunho… why would Jaejoong keep this thing if Shiwon had caused him such a heartbreak?! Yunho glanced at the pictures again and jealousy struck through his body when he saw the couple kissing. Then suddenly, the door of Jaejoong’s apartment opened and the man stepped inside.

“Oh, I’m finally back. I’m sorry for running late, but the traffic has been horrible,” said Jaejoong and stepped inside. “But I managed to sort some of the things in our new apartment, so I think that we will soon be ready to move in,” he said and then stepped into the living room and smiled when he saw that his books were already packed in a box. “Good, I see that you’ve packed my books already. And… I see that you found my albums as well,” he then added, sighed and sat down next to Yunho, who was still looking at the picture of Shiwon and Jaejoong kissing.

“This is Shiwon, right?” asked Yunho and Jaejoong sighed, nodding. “Why do you still keep this thing?”

Jaejoong looked at the picture and then looked away, feeling kind of uneasy sitting next to Yunho at the moment. Why did he keep the album, filled with pictures of only him and Shiwon? Jaejoong didn’t know that himself. In the past, he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away. It was true that Shiwon had crushed him completely, but throwing away something like that was out of question for the man at that moment. Later on, he just kind of forgot that he had it and he wouldn’t even remember of it if Yunho wouldn’t find it that way. He then looked at the young man, who kept looking back at him and he didn’t know what to think; was Yunho angry with him? Jealous? He narrowed his eyes and then looked back at the picture of him and Shiwon. He could still remember when the picture was taken; he was so happy back then with Shiwon, he really had thought that Shiwon was the one for him, but as it turned out that wasn’t the case. He remembered how hurt he felt when he would look at their old pictures right after the break up, but now he felt… nothing. That came as a surprise for the man and his eyes widened.

“I didn’t throw it away because I couldn’t,” said Jaejoong and picked up the album, going through the photos after so many years and he really didn’t know what to think of it. The memories of Shiwon didn’t hurt anymore and, in fact, he even smiled when he started looking at the pictures. To Jaejoong, they were just memories. Some happy, some not, but he couldn’t just get rid of that. “Later on, I kind of forgot that I still kept it around.”

Yunho frowned when he saw that Jaejoong was smiling and he then took the album away from his hands, closed it and threw it away. He felt jealous; he didn’t like the way that Jaejoong was looking at Shiwon. He knew that the man loved him, but still he couldn’t help but to feel jealous. The man almost jumped when the other one did that, since he was taken off guard and then his eyes widened when Yunho pushed him against the floor, climbed on top of him and claimed his lips into a forced kiss.

“I don’t like the way you’re looking at him,” said Yunho when he broke their kiss and just as Jaejoong was about to say something in defence, he was already quieted down by another kiss, which lasted slightly longer and Jaejoong rolled his eyes and he almost started laughing when Yunho pulled back. “Why are you laughing for?” asked Yunho angrily. “You aren’t allowed to look at other people like that, only at me. You’re mine.”

“Oh?” asked Jaejoong, finding it adorable that Yunho still got so easily jealous over such a little thing. He knew that he should’ve gotten a bit madder, but he couldn’t help but to find the younger male cute by the way that he was pouting and frowning; he looked like a little kid. “And how was I looking at him?”

“Like how you usually look at me,” stated Yunho stubbornly, feeling his face heat up with embarrassment when he saw that Jaejoong was now smiling even wider and he rolled his eyes.

“And how’s that?”

“Like I’m the most important person to you,” said Yunho. “That was how you were looking at Shiwon at that picture when the two of you were kissing. I didn’t like it, it made me jealous,” confessed the younger one and buried his face into the man’s chest. “God, I’m so childish,” he then said to himself, but Jaejoong heard him and burst into loud laughter.

“Yes, you are,” he said and buried his fingers into his lover’s hair, gently ruffling it. “It’s cute to see that you can get so easily jealous,” he then said and kissed the tip of Yunho’s nose when the other one looked up at him. “I only love you, come on, stop sulking. Also, if you want me to throw the album away, I’ll do it… it’s not like I need it.”

“Don’t throw it away, Jaejoong,” said Yunho, his cheeks burning with embarrassment even more and he had to look away. “The pictures in there… they are your memories… happy ones or not. So I can’t just ask something like that of you,” said Yunho and sighed. “Don’t throw the photos away, even if I don’t like it, Shiwon’s still part of your life and he always will be.”

“Look at you,” said Jaejoong playfully and pinched one of Yunho’s cheeks. “Spoken like a true adult.”

Yunho then groaned and got onto his legs. “Stop making fun of me,” he stated when Jaejoong started laughing even louder, but Yunho just ignored him and started packing things again. The man continued sitting on the floor and looking at the younger one, his face almost hurting from smiling. After a while, he walked closer to Yunho, took things from his hands, placed them onto the table and then kissed him hungrily.

“Come one, let’s stop packing for the day,” said Jaejoong, because packing things was currently the last thing on his mind. He then dragged Yunho behind him and threw him onto his bed, climbing on top of him. “I know of a way how to spend our afternoon and it’s much more fun than packing things,” he then added, a smile spreading across Yunho’s face as well.

“Oh yeah?” asked Yunho quietly, wrapping his arms around the man’s face and then moved them down, stopping them onto Jaejoong’s hips. “And how’s that?”

“Come closer and I’ll show you,” said Jaejoong and then closed the remaining distance between them with a kiss.

A few days later

“What do you mean that he changed schools, Sungmi?” snapped Yunho’s mother and the girl’s body started shaking. She quickly looked down and swallowed thickly, unable to bring herself to look at the woman’s face. She was currently in Yunho’s mother’s house because the woman had heard the news that Yunho had recently changed schools and was beyond mad. Not only that, but Yunho’s mother and Sungmi’s one blamed the girl for Yunho’s decision; they were both angry with her and in the end, Sungmi’s mother forced the girl to go to the other woman and beg for her forgiveness.

Sungmi kind of got the idea that Yunho was going to change schools; she overheard the young man discussing this matter with his friends, but she didn’t tell anyone. She knew far too well what was the reason; Jaejoong and she didn’t blame the other one for wanting to change the schools, it seemed like a good idea to Sungmi as well. “I-I am so sorry, ma’am,” said the girl and bowed her head down in apology. “I had failed you, I am really sorry. I didn’t mean to humiliate my mother or you and I-”

“You should have thought about that sooner,” said the woman and walked closer to Sungmi, whose whole body started shivering even harder. “Well I don’t blame my son for leaving you, look at yourself,” she snapped and grabbed Sungmi’s chin, forcing her to look at her and the younger one swallowed thickly, feeling her heartbeat fastening again. God, she just wished that this nightmare was going to end soon; she didn’t even care of the outcome. She just wanted to go home; she was feeling exhausted. The stress had finally gotten to her and in the mornings it was really getting out of the bed; she felt as if she was carrying all of the weight of the world on her shoulders. “You are weak, my son is not interested in women like you.”

“He isn’t interested in women at all,” blurted out Sungmi without thinking and her eyes widened, because she knew that she made things even worse now and all that she cared for now was to disappear. Why did she have to say that without even thinking about it?! Sungmi’s eyes welled up and she firmed a fist with her palms, forcing her long nails deep into her skin and she closed her eyes. The fact that she could feel the pain was kind of calming her down and she pushed her nails deeper, so hard that her skin started bleeding, but she didn’t budge and just watched the blood slowly coming out.

“What did you say?” asked the woman and Sungmi could see that the woman’s face was white as a sheet. “He got past that; he broke it off with that disgusting professor of his,” said the woman and walked away from Sungmi. “He had told me that himself and you… you also said that he isn’t seeing him anymore. Were you lying to me?”

“N-no,” said Sungmi.

“So he didn’t break it off with him?! And you were lying to me?! How dare you, !” snapped the woman and then quickly came closer to Sungmi, raised her hand up and then gave Sungmi a hard slap on the cheek.

Sungmi’s eyes widened and she let out a small whimper of pain, but then soon stopped and she looked down, forcing back the tears; she didn’t want to cry in front of this horrible woman. She pushed her lips tightly together and then bit hard into her lower lip, wanting to feel pain somewhere else than in her heart; she was desperate to get rid of that horrible ache in her heart, but nothing was helping.

“Now it makes sense why he changed school, now I won’t be able to blackmail that professor anymore and destroy their relationship,” spat the woman and started walking in circles. “B-but I won’t let this slide so easily, I will have my revenge. That horrible person did this to my Yunho, he doesn’t love my son… he is just using him and Yunho is allowing him to be led on. I’ll make sure to teach that professor a lesson or two and you Sungmi, are going to help me,” added Yunho’s mother and the tone of her voice made Sungmi’s body shudder.

“N-no,” said Sungmi with a small voice and shook her head, she didn’t want to hurt people anymore. “I don’t want to hurt Yunho anymore. Why can’t you just let them be happy, they aren’t hurting anyone?”

“Shut up,” snapped the woman and then sat down. “Now listen to me, you will going to do as I say, do you understand? I thought of a plan that is not only going to ruin their relationship, but also end that bastard’s career and life, I will make sure that his life is going to be a living hell and he won’t work ever again. I have enough power and money in me, to make that happen. But to do that I need you,” she said. “Now that my son had changed schools, I can’t go to the principal and report him for abusing Yunho. But, we can make up a little story of him doing inappropriate things to you and make sure that he is going to get fired.”

“What? I don’t want that, I won’t lie. Professor Kim is a good person and a wonderful professor. I tried to hurt him, but he ended up being nice to me, so I won’t hurt him again. I-I can’t do it anymore,” said Sungmi, who was completely horrified by the woman’s plan. She had finally somehow managed to get her life together after all of this, but if she was going to do something like that, there was no way that she could live with herself knowing that she did something like that. “I-I won’t do it.”

“It’s not your choice really, you know,” said Yunho’s mother and smiled. “You don’t want to disappoint your mother again, do you?”

Sungmi’s eyes widened and she shook her head and then glared at the woman, the other one was really playing a dirty game; she knew how to get to her and she hated her for that. Sungmi’s eyes filled with tears and she couldn’t stop them this time, she couldn’t. Her mother’s love meant so much to her and she was still ready to do everything to get it. But… was she really willing to go so far? No, of course not. At the same time, she wouldn’t be able to bear her mother look her with disappointment in her eyes. Suddenly, it became really hard to breathe for the girl and she got onto her legs and practically ran out of Yunho’s house and she started running, not knowing where to be headed.

That was the breaking point for Sungmi, she knew that she needed to do something to stop this, something needed to change. She wouldn’t be able to continue living like this; longing to get her mother’s love and being prepared to do absolutely everything to get it. Did her mother really hate her? When Sungmi remembered the times she almost killed herself, her heart ached, because her mother didn’t show even an ounce of compassion for her and on one occasion she even stated that it would’ve been better if she would’ve died; that way she would be able to get rid of the weak link in the family tree.

“Oh god,” whispered Sungmi and stopped running. She then leaned against the wall of the nearest building and she was really glad that she was alone, so that she could completely fall apart. She just slid down the wall and hugged her own shaking her body; she knew that she was acting pathetic. She wished she could be stronger, but knowing that her own mother hated her, made her completely crumble apart. It was true that her father adored her, but living with a mother like that was hell and she couldn’t do it anymore. “She hates me, she hates me… she is going to kill me when she finds out what I did at Yunho’s house,” she said to herself and placed a hand in front of , trying to even out her breathing.

She continued crying for quite some amount of time and after a while, it was as if every emotion in her became numb. She couldn’t feel anything, she felt completely dead inside and then an idea came to her… just like so many times before… if her mother really hated her, then what was the point? She had no friends and the only person that she cared for, Yunho, disliked her as well. Was someone going to miss her if she was about to disappear? Her father… probably, maybe even not. She knew that it was her fault for driving people away from her, she was horrible to others. So, what was the point of trying?

She remembered what her therapist once said to her; it’s always worth trying. “Not this time, I don’t care anymore,” she mumbled to herself and then nodded. “There’s no point in living anymore.” That was it, her mother had completely destroyed her will to live.

Sungmi continued wandering around the town for a little while, trying to take in her last moments… but she was still unable to feel anything. A sad smile appeared on her face, it was just like three years ago. The wish to feel something drove her to such insanity, but now it was a complete another reason.

What was it again? 

Sungmi couldn’t even think straight anymore, so she just started laughing.

What was so funny?

She didn’t know how to answer that, but her laugh only grew louder when she saw a bridge and her eyes sparkled. Finally, she was going to end it all. Her laugh transformed into sobbing as she slowly climbed on top of bridge’s fence and looked down it. It was really high, she would be dead in an instant after hitting the ground. She then looked around and saw people gathering around her. Some of them were calling police, others were trying to convince her not to jump and she let out a loud yell.

“Why can’t just people stop looking at me? I want to be left alone!”

She then looked back down and swallowed hard, did she have it in her? No… probably not… She then cursed at herself for being so weak. No, this time she was going to do it, she was going to jump! Sungmi swallowed thickly and then tightened the grip around the fence before slowly letting go of it and just as she was about to completely let go of it, she heard someone calling for her and she looked around, completely shocked when she saw Jaejoong and Yunho standing there.

Jaejoong was standing really close to her, while Yunho’s face was pale and he had his mouth covered with his hand. She then looked at Professor Kim, who extended his hand to her and gave her a small and forced smile. “Sungmi, come on… take my hand!”

“N-no, leave me alone. Please, why do you care so much for me? I hurt you and yet you-”

“For ’s sake just forget that and take his hand!” snapped Yunho and stepped closer as well, but made sure that he kept distance since he didn’t know what Sungmi would do if he came too close.

“Please, Sungmi, take my hand… come on,” said Jaejoong.

“B-but I hurt so many people. I can’t live with this guilt anymore,” she said and started sobbing again. “I’m completely alone, I have no one.”

“Sungmi, we’ll get you help… I promise,” said Jaejoong. “And I’ll make sure that your mother won’t bother you again. I promise, so just take my hand… I’m begging you.”

Sungmi’s heart started beating faster and she then glanced at Jaejoong’s hand, then back down, squeezing her eyes, unable to make a decision.