1

The bus took 30 minutes to get to the stop near your home due to a road accident in one of the main roads. The whole time you were psyching yourself for the conversation ahead.  You really preferred that Jungkook did not find the bag you packed until after you’ve told him of your decision.  But there’s nothing that can be done now.  Whether or not he has an idea of what’s coming, it will all be the same in the end.

You fumbled with your keys as you unlocked the door.  Your hands were shaking so you took a few seconds to calm yourself and take deep breaths.  The moment you opened the door, you saw Jungkook sitting on your couch looking determinedly on the opposite wall. You took a few steps and mumbled, “Annyeong.”  He didn’t seem to have heard so you repeated a bit louder, “Annyeong.”

He then turned his head and looked at you full on. You involuntarily took a step back because of the intensity in his eyes.  To say he was angry would be an understatement.  He didn’t say anything so you forced yourself to walk to the couch and sit down, although you sat at the other end of the couch, leaving a seat space in between you and him.  His gaze followed your movements, never letting down on the intensity.

“Erm, we need to talk.” You said, flinching a bit when he turned so that his whole upper body faced you, his left arm on the back of the couch.

“Explain why my stuff were packed in a bag.” He said softly.   It was even scarier than if he shouted at you. You can feel his anger through his eyes but his soft words made you feel like his anger is bound to explode soon.

“Well…. Our relationship hasn’t been…” you stopped and tried to find words to express what you wanted to say. Darn it, you should have practiced this in the bus instead of worrying about him finding the packed bag.  You decided to just be direct the point. “I want us to break up.” There, you’ve said it.

“Why?” his voice even softer.

Your new-found courage made you say “I want a more normal relationship, where my boyfriend and I could go out on dates.  Where I wouldn’t have to hide that I’m in a relationship with someone...”

“Have you met someone else?”

“No!” you replied quickly. “I’m just not happy anymore.”  There was a few minutes of silence. You didn’t know what to say and he didn’t seem inclined to say anything just yet.  You looked down on your shoes, avoiding his gaze.

“No.” he said finally.

“No what?” you asked.

“No, you cannot break up with me,” he replied.

You were surprised at this statement and were speechless for a few moments.

“I’ve emptied the bag and put my things back where they were.” He added.

“What? Why? Don’t you want to break up?” you asked confused.  Didn’t he want to get together with IU instead?- you thought.

“What the heck does IU have to do with us?”  he asked, his voice becoming a bit louder.

Oh , you hadn’t meant to say that IU thing out loud.

“Well, I just think that you will be more suited to each other because you’re in the same industry. And hadn’t you liked her for a long time?” you said.

“Leave her out of this.” He said. 

“How can I leave her out of this? She’s the reason you didn’t invite me to join you in Busan, wasn’t she?” you accused.

“What are you talking about?” he asked incredulous.  “I didn’t ask you to come because it will be too much trouble for you to come and just stay overnight.  And I was practicing the whole day for the duet because I have been on tour. You will just be bored.”

“Jin-oppa brought Yun Na with him,” you countered.

“Jin-hyung only had to worry about our BTS performance. He didn’t have an extra duet number to practice the whole day, did he?”

“Practicing with IU the whole day,” you smirked, jealousy giving you false courage.

“It’s just work. I can’t believe we’re talking about this.” He stood up and walked to where you were sitting.

“Fine.  But why don’t you want to break up? We don’t talk as often anymore.  We don’t see each other for weeks and weeks. Can you seriously say this is the relationship you want?” you asked insistently.

“We. Are. Not. Breaking. Up.” He said, emphasizing each word. 

“It’s not just your decision. We both have to decide if we still want to be in this relationship or not.” Your temper is rising and so does your voice. “And I want out.”

Jungkook bent over you and held your face in his hands.  His face was very close and he looked at you straight in the eye and said, “Tell me honestly, have you found someone else?”

Reckless, you challenged, “What if there was?”  

The last thing you heard was a growl of anger before Jungkook’s lips crashed into yours in a punishing kiss.  His lips were insistent and you found your mouth opening up to the kiss.  This kind of passion from Jungkook was not new to you but you still felt overwhelmed.  Before you knew it, he was carrying you to the bedroom and you were clinging to him as if your life depended on it.

2

You woke up the following morning with Jungkook’s arms wrapped tightly around you.  He was a notoriously heavy sleeper and it wasn’t hard for you to disentangle yourself from his embrace without waking him up.  You prepared breakfast and left a portion on the table for him to eat when he wakes up. You got ready for work since the candle shop is open on Sundays and it’s the only day where you work there when the school semester is ongoing.  You left a message for Jungkook saying you already left for work and that you made breakfast for him.

On the bus ride to the candle shop, you thought about what happened the night before.  So he doesn’t want to breakup? Does it mean he loves you?  Is he not planning to get together with IU?  Then why doesn’t he spend more time with you or talk to you more?   You understand that his schedule is packed, but the other Bangtan members were able to spend more time with their girlfriends.  You know this because you keep in touch with the other girls and they tell you whenever they get together with their respective boyfriends.

You arrived at your stop and got off the bus without clearing any of the thoughts in your mind.  It was a good thing a steady stream of customers came from the time you opened until just about lunchtime. It prevented you from thinking too much about things you are unable to answer.  Your grumbling stomach reminded you that you have to close the shop for lunch.  You grabbed your purse from behind the counter and were walking to the door when it opened.  You were surprised to find that it was Jungkook who arrived.

“I brought lunch,” he simply said, raising a brown bag containing what you presumed is fried chicken based on the smell coming from it.

“Thank you” was all you said.  You locked the door behind him, flipped the store sign from “Open” to “Closed” and followed Jungkook towards the back of the shop where there was small pantry and dining table. You didn’t know how to react to his presence. What was he doing here?

He was setting the table with disposable plates and utensils he brought. You sat down in one of the chairs and he sat down in the opposite chair.  He proceeded to put chicken on the plate in front of you as well as some fried rice and coleslaw.

“Eat up,” he said.

You started eating, looking at him quizzically. When he didn’t seem inclined to start a conversation, you asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, it seemed that my girlfriend doesn’t think I’m taking good enough care of her, so I came to bring her food.” He answered matter-of-factly.

You didn’t know how to reply so just took a bite of chicken and chewed while thinking of what to say.

“I also wrote you a letter,” he said, handing you a folded piece of paper. 

You took the letter and opened it to read.

“I’m still uncomfortable expressing what I felt in person so I wrote this letter instead.  I had no idea you doubted my feelings for you.  For me, it had always been a certainty- that we were meant to be together.  I look forward to the days when we can be together every day, but for now, I am content in having you in my dreams when I sleep and in my thoughts every waking hour.  

When Bangtan is on tour, I am usually never alone. We share rooms when we sleep, and at any other time there will always be staff and reporters around. There is rarely a moment of privacy for me when I can call you and hear your voice.  I didn’t tell you, but I have recorded one of our voice calls – the one when we just talked about our favorite things to eat- and I listen to it whenever I miss you.  If you see a picture or video of me wearing earphones, more often the not, I was not listening to music but to this recording of your voice.

I am not interested in IU-sunbae or any other woman. Since I met you, you have always been the only one for me.  Even I get scared sometimes about the depth of my feelings for you and it makes me more and more likely to not talk about it. Just know that I love you even if it may take a long time for me to say it again.

Jungkook ”

You slowly lifted your eyes and met Jungkook’s.  Your sight blurred and you realized you’ve started to cry. Jungkook leaned over and wiped your tears with a handkerchief. 

“Are we good?” he asked. You nodded yes.

“Are you still going to break up with me?” he asked again. You shook your head No.

“That’s my girl” he said, finally giving you a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you like this story. Please feel free to comment so I can take in your suggestions before I write the next one about Tae J. Thank you.