Donghae

                I finished filling the urn with the ash and I was just scraping the last bits of it from inside the machine. This was probably going to be the last big step of the whole thing. After this we would be in the clear. It was all going to be over, so why did I feel so ty? It was like I was being ripped apart from the inside and there was something that desperately needed to be said. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and let whatever happen, happen, but there wasn’t much that needed to happen now. All we have to do is… my mind went blank and my eyes filled with tears. Why am I being like this? All we have to do is dispose of the remains. That’s it. Then we’ll… I wiped my eyes and blinked the tears away.

                “Come on, we’re getting out of here.” I said and looked around, but I didn’t see him. Weird, he was just beside me.

                He wasn’t anywhere in the room and I started to panic. I put the lid on the urn and carried it out of the room with me while my eyes scanned every corner and every room in search of him. I was worried, what if something happened? The last time that I lost him, well, he killed someone. I knew how cruel and ridiculous that sounded, but what could I say? Maybe he killed again. There wasn’t even anyone around. I wasn’t thinking right.

                I called his name and I could feel my heartbeat rising the longer I searched. My mind started to wander and that image flashed in my mind again. It was the knife and it was dripping with blood, just like before, he was there too, only this time there was one thing that was different. The knife was in my hands. I shook my head and I looked down as if the knife had been in my hands here too, but there was only the urn. I was half imagining my own hands to be covered in blood, but I quickly realized that something like that was impossible. Maybe I really am going crazy.

                My feet stopped in their tracks when I reached the doors. The snow had accumulated quite a bit in these past few minutes. It was starting to look like a real winter wonderland. I was about to go back inside to continue looking for him, but then my eyes landed on a set of footprints fading in the snow. There were only one or two visible, but I followed them since they lead from where I stood all the way to the car. Maybe he just left ahead of me. I figured that was the case and trudged through the snow in my poor footwear.

                I was praying that neither of us would get frostbite after today when I got to the car. I could see the shaded outline of his upper body through the fogged up window and I let out a sigh of relief. Thank god he’s alright. I opened the trunk and I put the urn in the same place where the body was lying just hours ago. We were on the home stretch now.