November 9, 2014

It is my first time to see the sun rising, from the mountain on top of a tree. Yes, I am on top of a tree at the moment. Don't ask me how I get here, but I can tell you why I am here. I want to hide from Junhyung oppa. I don't want to see him at the moment because I don't want to do anything that he wanted me to do. Oppo dragged me in this teambuilding but I am never a part of this team. Yesterday morning, he called me and asked me to deliver coffee forthe whole drama team. We do not really deliver but since oppa is somewhat special to my manager (this is because oppa was able to get a lot of costumer when he sang in the cafe), I was forced to deliver the coffee. When I got to school, I saw two buses. I saw the whole team lining up to enter the buses. Some men are putting lots of bags on the buses. I looked for oppa but I was stopped when some guys saw me and forced me to give them some coffee. I ended up distributing the coffee without consulting oppa o whom are those coffee. When I finished distributing, that's when I saw oppa. He asked me if I distributed the coffee to everyone and how much does he need to pay me. I answered his questions. After that, oppa pulled me and told me to join the whole team. He told me to get into his car. At first, I told him I don't want to but he forced me, and when I say forced, it means he really pushed me hard inside the car. On our way here, I kept on telling him to stop the car but he never stopped. When I got tired, I shut up and I ended up sleeping. When I woke up, we were in front of Junhyung oppa's family vacation house on top of a mountain. When I looked outside the car, I saw the team starting to set up their tents. Oppa knocked on the car's window. I rolled down the window.

"Sleeping beauty, it's time for dinner." He told me jokingly.

"Why are we going to eat already? Your team is still setting up their tents. And by the way, why are they setting up tents? Are you planning to let them sleep outside when in fact your five-storey house has 25 rooms for guests!" Oppa smiled before replying.

"You know what, this is a team building. They have to be together in richer or poorer. They have to work together and survive in this kind of setting." He opened the door. "Since you are not part of the team, you are welcome to eat and sleep in my house. Your room" yes, I have my own room in their house, even my brothers have rooms here, "is ready, so you may now go inside and take a rest." I stepped out of the car and ran as fast as I can towards the house so that no one will notice me since they were all busy putting up their tents. But I forgot that the first floor of oppa's house has glass walls, so everyone saw me. They were looking badly at me so I ended up locking myself inside my room on the 2nd floor. 

After dinner, I excused myself and went to the library, which is just beside my room. When I got bored reading, looked outside. It was very bright outside because of the full moon and the bonefire. The team gathered around the fire. Little groups performed in front of their team. Everyone had a good time, I saw them laughing, some even cried due to happiness. I saw Hyunseung sitting next to Hyuna. Hyuna was leaning on him. When I saw the two of them, I just hope that they are happy, that they will be happy, after all, I ran away for them to be happy. But yesterday, I've noticed something was off. As if he is thinking of other things that's why he cannot concentrate on what is happening. There are times when Hyuna is talking to him but he's not aswering. That made Hyuna looked worried, and I think that is kinda good, because it shows that she is also concered about him. 

I didn't noticed that I fell asleep. When I woke up, everyone was asleep, but the fire is still burning. I decided to go outside, sat on one of the chairs around the fire. I looked up and enjoyed star gazing. I closed my eyes to feel and be one with nature but a few seconds later, I felt that someone sat on one of the chairs beside me. I opened my eyes because I am afraid that someone has intruded but it was Hyunseung.

"Omo." That's thet first word that came out when I saw him. He just looked at me.He looks serious. "What are you doing here?" No answer. "Oh, I mean why are you still awake?" I asked him. I could not look into his eyes so I just focused my attention on the fire.

"You, what are you doing out here?" He asked me back.

"I was the first one to asked you, why are you asking now" I murmured.

"What did you say?" He asked me. 

"Umm, nothing. I said, I can't sleep that's why I came out. And besides, the sky is too magnificent to ignore." I smiled at the fire because I could not smile at him.

"Yes, it is beautiful" Yes he said that. When I looked at him, he was looking at the sky. I never imagined him to look lovingly at the sky. I think that's for girls alone, but oh well, he always does things I never expected. 

He looked at me and he saw me looking at him so I hurriedly looked away.

"Can I ask you something?" I looked at him immediately because this is someting new. Why is he asking permission to ask something?

"Um, yes?" I was a bit nervous because I have the feeling that he will ask me something related to the past.

"Why did you ran away?" I almost fell off the chair when he finished his sentence. Out of all the questions he can ask, why this one. It took me a while to answer.

"Umm, well"

"Okay. It's fine if you don't want to asnwer." He interrupted.

"No. No. No." I took a deep breath. "Okay, I was a bit shock with your question but okay, I will give you an answer. It's about time that I  face the past so that I can freely move on." I paused. Of course, I need to gather all the strength I need. "I ran away because I don't want to end up like my parents. My mom and dad lived a very sad life despite the fact thet they have children. My brothers and I were not enough to make them happy and to make their relationship work. Mom and dad's marriage was arranged. But even before they were engaged, mom had a boyfriend. The two of them tried to elope when they found out about mom's engagement but grandpa used to be a military man, he used his connections to trace the couple. Mom was force to marry dad. Dad, he fell for my mom when he first saw her. He tried his best to get her love but he failed. Dad thought that their relationship will work out when my brothers were born but it didn't happen. After I was born, my mom left to live in London. I never saw her during my childhood. I never celebrated Chritsmas with my whole family, I always spent Christmas with Bea's family because my mom requested her family to take care of me, after all, her dad is my mom's bestfriend. The first, and the last time I saw mom was when their marriage was anulled a few years ago. When I heard that dad was planning to arrange my marriage, at first I agreed but along the way, I realized that what is the sense of getting married to someone you don't know, and most importantly, you don't love. People marry because of love, because they want to spend the rest of their life together. If I will be married to someone, I want to be married to the one I know and to the one I love. I want to live a happy life, a life full of love." I took a short break. It was tiring saying all of those and I did not hear a single word from him. "I know what I did badly hurt your business. But I wasn't thinking of material things. I don't want myself to live a life that is so restricted. I want to live a life that will make me smile and never regret once I look back. And I hope the same thing for you. I want you to be happy as well."

"And that's where my next question comes in." I looked at him with suspicion. "If you want me to be happy, why did you slap Hyuna? I guess you know that I love Hyuna."

"Well, about that, maybe I was wrong. I should have not done that. I am so sorry. My desire for you and Junhyung oppa to be happy made me do that. I swear, I never wanted to get involved in your love triangle but some circumstances just dragged me in to your lives. I should have reaized from the veyr beginning that one of you will get hurt once Hyuna choose between the two of you. But because I was only focused on your happiness, I ended up hurting the source of that happiness. I am so sorry."

He was silent for a few minutes. When I thought he will leave, he asked me another question, a very unexpected question.

"I want to hearyour side." 

"What?"

"What happened that day? Why did you slapped her? And where did you get that injury in your left arm?" Now the last question really shocked me the most. Only Minguk oppa knew about it. I did not even tell manager. And My suspention was enough for my arm to heal.

"Do you really want to hear?" I asked this because I don't want to look like as if I am destroying Hyuna's image. He nodded. "Okay. If that's what you want." I took a deep breath. "That day, while returning to the theater, I saw Hyuna in front. While I was approaching, I noticed that she's looking at me. I just ignored her but while I was about to enter the theater, she said something that made me stop and face her. She pushed me hard and my arm was fructured."

"What did she tell you?"

"She told me to stop being with Junhyung oppa. That it looked like I am pushing myself to him. That I am trying hard to get his attention. I got angry at that  because she is accusing me of something I  never did. And besides, if she really wanted oppa, she should have done something to get him back, but she never did anything. While I was talking to her, I realized that," I paused. I don;t want to tell him what I have realzied but when I looked at him, I saw in his eyes that he really wanted to hear it even if he already know what I'm about to say. "she's still in love with him. That made me angry. She's etertaining you, accepting all that you but in reality, she's into oppa, and she's just wasting your love and effort. When I told her that, she pushed me. I get up. She told me that I was just jelous because I cannot have two men crazy over me. That made me angry so much that I was able to slap her."

He did not talk after that, He looked up at the sky and smiled. It was a  sad smile. I saw sadness in his eyes. Because I couldn't take seeing him like that, I also looked at the sky. Then I saw a falling star.

"Omo!" I shouted. Then one by one, we started seeing lots of falling stars. We were speechless. The sky looks so dazzling with falling stars. 

I closed my eyes, and started wishing. 

"What are you doing?" He asked me. 

"Wishing" I answered while my eyes were closed. I opened my eyes after wishing. "You make a wish as well!" I excitedly told him.

"Why would I make a wish?" He asked me. " Am I a kid?" He said jokingly. Now he's smiling a bit. "Do you believe in that?"

I pouted. "You know, what you wish will come true if you truly believe in that wish. All you need to do is to believe."

"And what if, even if you believe, it will not come true?"

"Then it only means that deep within you, a part of you doesn't believe in that wish. It does not have confidence in that wish that's why a part of you did not do its part to make that wish come true." I was about to tell him something but-

"I wish to be happy" I looked at him. His eyes were closed. He is smiling. When he opened his eyes, he looked at me. I looked at him directly in the eyes. " You know what, you're interesting." He smiled. I smiled at him. "I forgive you for what you did to our business." I smiled at him hesitantly. "I forgive you for slapping Hyuna, but I do hope you'll apologize to her personally." I nodded. 

"Okay. I will." 

"And, thank you for the freedom you gave me." 

"You're welcome. Thank you, for forgiving me."

When the atmosphere got awkward, I stood up and told him that I'm sleepy. He just nodded. I started walking back to the house but he said something that made me stop.

"I won't give up on Hyuna." I stopped. I was deciding on what to do but then, "You know what, you are an interesting person." Pause. "I want to get to know you." I turned around. He walked towards me. He was just 2 steps away from me. He held out his right hand. "Let's be friends." It took me a while before I accepted his proposal.

"Friends." I told him. 

And that's how my night ended yesterday. The campers are aready cooking their food. Oppa is looking for me. I can see from here that he is asking the team one by one. Well, maybe I'll get down later when I figured out how to do that. For now, I will enjoy the view and the cool breeze. 

-Sohee