October 30, 2015

Being suspend is not really that bad especially when your brothers come to visit you. Daehan oppa was the one who visited me first. Though I tried hiding from him, I can never outwit him. He may be silent but when it comes to surveillance, research, and debating, no one can defeat him. He came to inform me that dad warned the whole family, as well as all our family's employees to stay away from me or cut ties with me. Oppa told me that he tried stopping dad but he was not able to win against him. He just stayed for a bit. He told me that he will be the one to support me, but I refused his offer. I am old enough now to support myself. The next person to visit me was Minguk oppa. Though he was very busy managing our restaurants, and in the hospital he made time to visit me. Oppa is a neurosurgeon. He is my idol and the reason why I am a science major student. Oppa invited me to eat with him at our favorite restaurant, his own restaurant, the restaurant that he put up without dad's help. We ate samgyupsal, and of course, my favorite sans rival that oppa made for me. We did not talk about what Daehan oppa and I talked about. Instead, we talked about his new creations and about schools abroad where I can pursue further studies. Talking to oppa is always refreshing. He always made it easy for me. Even if he's near or far, he's always there to support me. How I wish I'm staying with them right now.

Yesterday, at 11 pm, someone was knocking on my door. I was surprised that it's Manse oppa. He hugged me immediately when he saw me. Among my brothers, he's the one that is so close to me. He's like my twin brother. Oppa is a fulltime chef, and part time racer. He was the one who taught me how to drive recklessly. And he was the one who taught me to follow my heart, and do what I wanted to do. 

"Awwww baby!!! I miss you so much!!!" He said as he hugged me once again once we're inside my room. 

"I miss you too oppa!" I assured him. He let go of me. 

"Do you have food?" That was the first question he asked me. Oppa never changed. He is always like this, a food lover. Always thinking about food. 

"Seriously oppa? Are you not going to ask how am I? Or what are my plans? You really have to ask me about food?" I asked him. He gave me a laugh.

"You know what, you're really like the three of us. You can be very serious like Daehan, clingy like Minguk, and of course playful like me." He laughed. "Now you're being the serious Daehan because I asked food even before I ask how are you." He laughed again. Oppa loves to laugh, but when he's sad, he is really sad. 

We talked the whole night. He told me that he doesn't have work today so he decided to sleep at my condo. There was never a dull moment with oppa that's why we ended up talking up until 3 in the morning. Whenever I talk to Manse oppa, we never had a specific topic. We just talk whatever we wanted to talk about. Oppa heard from Doojoon oppa that Hyunseung is in school.

"Don't avoid him. What's meant to happen will happen." That's what he told me. 

"I don't get it oppa." I said. I really did not get it why he said that. Can't it just be coincidence that I am studying at the same school as Hyuna?

"You'll know when the right time comes." 

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Today, I woke up with the smell of fried eggs and bacon. I was too sleepy that I thought I was just dreaming. I get out of my room and I saw three people in my kitchen. Manse oppa is the one cooking, while Yoseob and Hyunseung were preparing the table. 

"Hey baby, good morning!" Manse oppa said. I walked towards him. He kissed my forehead like he always do. I saw how the other two looked like when oppa kissed my forehead. Yoseob was very surprised. Hyunseung, well, he gave me a nasty look. 

"Sit down now. I'm already done cooking." He said. 

After cooking, oppa's phone rang. He excused himself to answer the call. Yoseob excused himself too because he too need to answer a call. It was awkward being left together. I don't know if I'm going to eat or just wait for the other. My phone was not with me so I don't have anything to do. I don't want to talk to him because he might still be angry.

"You know what," I looked at him. "You should not let any man stay overnight in your room. It doesn't look good." He said. Poker faced. 

"Well, it's none of your business, I believe." I argued. I don't feel like explaining anything to him. "What are you doing here, by the way?"

He took a deep breath. "Well, Yoseob thought that you were the one cooking so he pulled me here to congratulate you. But it was not you, it was your visitor." I was about to answer but oppa came out from the room.

"Sohee, I'm sorry but I have to go." He said as he packed his things scattered on my sofa. "I'll see you again soon." He kissed my forehead. He said goodbye to me and to Hyunseung then he go.

After oppa left, I started eating the food he cooked. Hyunseung also started eating. Yoseob did not return anymore. 

Hyunseung and I did not talk the whole time we were eating. When we're finished eating, I thought he will leave but no, he stayed and helped me wash the dishes. 

"Why are you helping? You can just go." I told him.

He did not respond. He just helped me do the dishes. After that, he went back to his room. 

I know he's angry at me because he saw me slapping Hyuna. But I did not slap her for no reason. I want to tell him what really happened but I don't want to look like as if I'm destroying Hyuna's image. And most of all, I don't want him to know that Hyuna has already chosen. No, she did not choose. The person in her heart never changed. It would hurt Hyunseung a lot if he knows something. I don't know why I don't want him to get hurt. I should stop myself being involved in their business. My mind says no but my heart is just too powerful to prevent everyone from getting hurt. 

Why am I feeling this way?

-Sohee.