October 29, 2014

I'm angry. I have never been this angry to anyone in my life. People have left me, betrayed me, and annoyed me but I never reached the point that I got angry and wanted to hate anyone. She left me during our wedding day, I did not get angry. She is friends with Hyuna's ex, I did not say anything. But her, slapping Hyuna is another thing. Yes. My ex-fiancée slapped Hyuna. I saw her did it, even Hyuna's ex and Bea saw what she did. I don't know why she slapped Hyuna, but no matter her reason was she doesn't have the right to slap her. 

I also notice that my ex fiancée keeps on following the director, or shall I say she became clingy. Last Monday morning during our morning practice, she came and watched. She sat beside the director. She watched us as we practice. She did not say anything, during practice but every time we have a break she talks to the director. The director entertained her, and of course we did not mind them because they seem to know each other even before they get involved in the play. After our practice, Hyuna and I decided to eat at the Art's Park in front of the Arts building. Coincidentally, across us were my ex fiancée and the director eating their lunch at the Science and Technology Park in front of the Science building. They were laughing and smiling at each other. They even shared the bento which I believe my ex fiancée prepared for him. I noticed that Hyuna got irritated for she asked me to eat at the cafeteria instead. I asked her why but she did not answer. After lunch, Hyuna and I have the same class. Our room is located at the 2nd floor of the Arts building. It has a good view of the oval. I was seated near the window so when I got bored, I usually look outside. And when I did that day, I saw my ex-fiancée and the director sitting under a tree. The director was leaning on my ex-fiancée’s shoulder. His eyes were closed, so as hers. I can't look at them anymore so I decided to listen back to our professor. I saw Hyuna looking outside. I am sure she saw them too for she excused herself and only came back 5 minutes before the class ended. Our class ended at 3:00 pm. Hyuna told me to go first to the theater for our afternoon practice for she needs to do something. When I arrived at the theater, the director was inspecting the costumes prepared by Bea's team. He looked satisfied. After the inspection, he talked to Bea, they were talking about my ex fiancée. 

A few minutes before the practice started, there was a noise coming from the outside. The director told Bea to tell the people outside to shut up. Bea did what the director asked her to do. Seconds later after she went outside, she came back looking worried and nervous. 

"Oppa." She paused. I know she hesitated to say what was happening but she did say something anyway. "Unnie. I mean Sohee unnie and Hyuna." When she said Hyuna, the director and I immediately ran out. The moment we got out of the theater, we saw how my ex fiancée slapped Hyuna. At first I couldn’t believe what I saw. I stood in between them. I was facing my ex fiancée. She looked at me directly in the eyes. She was angry. She was furious. But there's no hate. She was about to cry but she was trying to stop herself. 

"What do you think are you doing?" I asked her. She did not answer. She just looked at me. The people around us were all art students and they were saying that she hurt Hyuna. "Tell me, what do you think are you doing?"

"Doing what I have to do." She said. It was firm. There’s no lie in what she said. 

The students started to shut up.

"What is this commotion?" Someone said. It was a woman. Actually it was the guidance counselor. "Who caused this commotion?" She said. She got angry immediately even if we did nothing but to keep quiet. The arts student pointed at my ex fiancée. "Ok. You follow me to the office." Before they go, Bea told the guidance counselor that Hyuna was also involved so the guidance counselor asked Hyuna to go with them.

Instead of the two alone, we all went to the guidance office. The arts students stood as witnesses of Hyuna. No one stood for my ex fiancée. I believe that Bea has something to say but my ex fiancée talked to her before Bea entered the room, so she did not say anything. If I connect what the arts student said, what happened was, my ex fiancée waiting for Hyuna outside of the theater. When Hyuna arrived, my ex fiancée confronted Hyuna. They said that she said hurtful words to Hyuna. They even said that my ex fiancée called Hyuna a . She even pushed her. And when Hyuna attempted to talked back, she slapped her.

"You miss Yoon, do you have anything to say?" 

"None ma'am." She said. At that time she did not have any emotions at all.

"Okay then, all of you, get out for a while. I need to talk to the two of them."

After a few minutes, the two of them came out from the office.

"What was the decision?" I asked Hyuna. 

"Let's talk about it later. I'm tired. Let's go home." She told me.

I don't need to ask Hyuna again later that afternoon about the decision for before we went home, I heard Bea crying and saying sorry to my ex fiancée. She even said that she should have talked so that my ex fiancée should have not been suspended for a week. 

She is suspended and I hope shell learn her lessons.

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Instead of being sad, I think my ex fiancée became happier when she was suspended. Yesterday night, while I was at Yoseob's room, she suddenly entered the room. She rushed behind the sofa.

"Yah! Yoseob, if someone asked about me, tell him that you don't know me, or I was out."

Even before Yoseob can process was she said, someone knocked on the door. When he opened it, there were three guys standing in front of the room. The one in front is wearing a business suit. He was wearing glasses. He was neat looking. The two guys behind him looked like his bodyguards.

"Where is Sohee?" The guy in front asked Yoseob. 

"Sohee? Who is that? I don’t know her?" Yoseob is a very bad liar. I can attest to that. It was obvious that he was lying.

"I don't have time to waste. I will count up to 5. If you don't show yourself Sohee, I will force you. One.Two.Three.Four.Five." After five, the guy walked in. He immediately spotted where she is. When he found her, she smiled at him.

"Hello Daehan oppa." She said. She stood up.

"Let's go. We need to talk." He talked calmly but I heard authority in his voice. She followed when he walked out of the room. 

At 12 midnight, I returned to my room. While I was opening my room, my ex fiancée’s visitor walked out from her room.

"I'll see you soon. I believe that one of the two will visit you tomorrow." He said. She nodded. "I'll go now." He hugged her and kissed her forehead. She looked relieved, and happy. I've never seen her that happy before.

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And this morning, she was happy again as if she is not suspended. Another guy came at the cafe to visit her. This time the guy looks nicer and he is calmer than the one who visited her yesterday. He was wearing black slacks matched with light blue polo. He was holding a white coat so I believe he is a doctor. When he entered the cafe, my ex fiancée was busy getting the orders. The guy lined up at the counter. 

"May I get your..." she stopped talking when she saw the guy in front of her. She smiled and hurriedly got out of the counter to give the guy a tight hug. "Minguk oppa!!!." The guy hugged her too. His hug was tighter. 

"I miss you." The guy said. 

"I miss you too oppa!!!" After that, she asked the manager to give her a break to entertain her visitor. The guy asked her to eat somewhere and she immediately agreed to him. They went somewhere riding the guy's car.

After taking my coffee I went to the theater for practice. Hyuna was there. She was seated in front of the piano. I went straight to her.

"Hey, what's up? Where is everyone?" I asked her.

"He cancelled the practice to visit her." She did not look at me. She was busy playing the piano. She was just pressing any key. She is frustrated by the fact that the director cancelled the practice for the girl that hurt her. "You know what, I thought I have forgotten him. I thought I have forgiven him like I did to you, but no. The more I see him, the more the memories come back. The more I see him with her, the more my heart aches, but I don't know if the ache is because I still love him or I still hate him." I did not say a word for I don't know how to react to what she said. She played Can't I Love you on the piano. Then I started singing. 

I sang because I am singing the song for her. The message of the song was for her. All these times, I thought I was helping her to forget him. I thought we're getting closer the way we're used to. I thought we can go back to the same old us. I thought she will love me again. But no. Everything was just assumptions. Everything was part of my imagination. That's why I am asking her if I can't love her. Because the more I stay with her, the more I love her. The more I see her, the more my heart beats for her. But the more I see her looking at him, hurting because of his, the more I want to love and protect her. Hyuna, Can't I Love You?

- Hyunseung