Written by: "yj"

Pairing: Yadong

(Words: 4,391)

 

 

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Dongwoo, in Howon’s eyes was someone simple. He never hid his emotions; in fact it was as if Dongwoo was always expressing himself fully. If he was going to cry, he was going to cry, snot everywhere and tears pouring out like a summer storm.  When the storm came from Dongwoo, Howon would writhe in his skin, the concern unbearable, heavy and humid as he stood there.

Dongwoo would be a mess before him, with his face contorted, but honest. He never held back his smiles either, teeth bared and eyes crinkled. Dongwoo seemed to have hundreds of different smiles, and Howon fell in love with each and every one of them. It never failed to make him feel something akin to having sunlight beat down on him--unbearable heat running down his body, while he felt light headed just standing there. His affection was never ending, Dongwoo had to hold hands when he walked, had to lean into a shoulder or a back. Howon’s witnessed Dongwoo rest his hand somewhere, on someone, countless times. It seemed that Dongwoo loved everyone, and everyone loved Dongwoo.  

 

That was alright (except it wasn’t) and Howon could deal with it (He couldn’t). Eventually things became too much for Howon and he grew greedy for Dongwoo’s attention. Which is why Howon was acting the way he was at this moment. He sat at the opposite end of Dongwoo, under the  fluorescent lights of a crowded restaurant. Apparently the place Dongwoo insisted on trying out was quite popular amongst the residents there. Howon almost completely forgot his objective when he stepped into the mouthwatering aroma the place seemed to emit.

Throughout their meal Howon made sure to emit an air of ‘nervousness’. He just hoped Dongwoo would quit being oblivious for once and take the bait.

 

“So I was right there when the coffee just fell, and then it spilled all over Sungyeol’s papers and--Howon?”

Howon stopped rubbing the side of his neck and looked back at Dongwoo. He genuinely looked concerned and Howon felt a little guilty for causing Dongwoo worry, but in a way this was what he wanted.

 

“Hm..?”

“You seem nervous, actually I feel like it's been like this the whole night and I just, well, is everything okay? You know you can always tell me, I'm right here.”

 

He was, he’s always been right there when Howon needed him. When his first serious girlfriend left him, Dongwoo was the first to knock on his door. He stood there with takeout in one hand and Howon’s favorite movies in the other. Or that time Howon caught the flu--which turned into a small case of pneumonia-- and Dongwoo was at the hospital everyday. Howon was out of it during most his stay, but he remembers glimpses of his friends. Amongst every memory of him being awake in that hospital, Dongwoo was in every single one of them.  

 

“It’s just that….”  I’m in love with you? You look really good in that T-shirt and it's distracting? “My  little sister’s birthday is coming up, I have no idea what to get her and I just started thinking about it today.”  

He prayed that was believable, it was what he came here to say anyways. Howon looked back at Dongwoo, this time the anxiety he displayed was genuine. The stretch between his words and the time it took to Dongwoo to respond felt like years. In Howon’s mind he felt everyone in the restaurant turn around to inflict him with scornful stares, as if they knew. The temperature seemed to rise in the room and breathing became a chore. In reality only ten seconds had passed, until Dongwoo broke out into a smile. Suddenly the air was thinner, the stares gone, and everything melted away but Dongwoo and his smile in Howon’s eyes. Dongwoo looked like a dog with the excited posture he was displaying, practically wiggling in his chair as he said his next words.

 

“You never told me you had a sister! what’s her name? Is she in school? Does she like-”

 

“Her name is..” Great, he made it this far and he forgot to make up a name. “Soo- it’s Soojung, She attends preschool. She’s really cute and everything” That had to be believable right? He took a generous swig of water to distract himself. Dongwoo seemed to buy it, if the way his eyes lit up at her name was anything to go by.

 

“Can I meet her?” Alarms set off in Howon's head, all that came to mind was a large blaring “NO”, but this was Dongwoo, and he needed to be convincing. Then again it was Dongwoo, so how convincing did he really need to be?

 

“She’s sick, caught some cold at day care. I’m sorry Dongwoo, maybe later okay?” The concerned look was back on Dongwoo’s face. The one where his eyebrows scrunch up, and there’s a slight pout to his lips. It’s as distracting as it is genuine, but Dongwoo is always genuine. Howon took bites of his meal, continuing the conversation only after stealing a few pieces from the other’s plate.

 

“Actually I was wondering, could you help me find her the perfect birthday present?”

His hands were in his lap now, lightly grasping his napkin.This was it, after this he’d be in the clear. Everything would be worth it if Dongwoo just said yes. He found the courage to finally look up, and stare right back at Dongwoo. The generous man’s mouth was wide open, and his right hand in mid air holding his spoon. It was like someone pressed pause, except the still frame was soon tarnished as soon as a loud yell of excitement exploded against Howon’s ears.  

 

“Of course! You have no idea how happy this makes me, I’d love to help!”

 

No Dongwoo, you have no idea how happy this makes me.

 

x

As he stepped into the store, Howon was immediately blinded by the overly saturated colors and bright lighting. Once his sight returned he realized it was a pretty modern toy store. Howon didn’t even know this place existed, they came here on Dongwoo’s suggestion. Dongwoo was standing right beside him as they-- wait, where was he?  Howon huffed in annoyance, of course Dongwoo would abandon him in a toy store. He’d be more concerned about where the other went if his thoughts weren’t just interrupted by distinct laughter. Ignoring the creepy stares of the toys, Howon eventually found himself before a hysterical Dongwoo clutching….a dog plushie?

 

“Howon!! Howon look-- It’s you! what are you doing here?”  Howon tried so hard to ignore the cackles spilling out from Dongwoo, but he just wouldn't stop, and some people were starting to stare.  Really, he didn’t understand why he liked Dongwoo so much sometimes. He could deal with the obnoxious laughter, and tolerate the stares, but his entire soul left him as soon as he saw what Dongwoo was holding. A small shiba plushie-- that appeared to be glaring.That was suppose to be him?? Why did he bother? He should just walk out right now, pretend he wasn’t some idiot named Lee Howon. Pretend he didn’t care about some guy who laughs at stuffed animals in public. Pretend he wasn’t so whipped for said guy. He didn’t need the weird stares from strangers or the stupid toy glaring right back at him. He could do without all of that, but he couldn’t do without Dongwoo. So he walked forward, put the toy back and pulled Dongwoo up. As Dongwoo was calming down they walked mindlessly around the store. He held his hand while he ushered the adorable idiot into some other aisle. All the while ignoring how light he felt just touching him like this.

 

“Aaw but it really did look like you! You know, maybe that could’ve been your gift? Kids love stuffed animals.”  

 

Why were his hands so soft? kinda bony but still so eerily soft. And warm, but not sweaty at all--or clammy, they were just right. What kind of lotion did dongwoo use, did he even use lotion? Or was he just naturally blessed with the most perfect hands in the world.

 

“Or maybe, does she not like stuffed animals? Howon....Howon??”

 

 He should’ve tried this sooner. The best part was that they were still holding hands, Howon felt like he could do this forever. Hell if he was given three wishes, he’d probably waste them all on the chance to hold Dongwoo’s hand.

 

“Howon!” Dongwoo’s call was punctuated by a firm shake to Howon’s arm.

 

“I--What? What is it??” Howon was finally pulled out of his daydreams. The sudden emptiness in his hand felt ironically heavy.

 

“I was suggesting you buy her that plushie I showed you, you know for your sister?”

A lady holding onto her child’s hand walked past just then. She muttered a soft ‘excuse me’ as she tugged her unwilling kid past them. Dongwoo just smiled softly down at the kid.

 

“No that’s stupid, come on let's look over…”  The sections were listed with all the types of toys next to the aisle numbers, it was a struggle however, to determine what type of toy would be fitting for a five year old. In the end he panicked and stepped blindly into the first section he saw.

 

“Here! Do you think she might like this?  Howon bent down and pulled out a long wide and thin box, and looked up at Dongwoo expectantly. The look on Dongwoo’s face however, wasn’t what he expected.

 

“Uhm..how old is she anyways?”  

 

“Five.”

 

“Five year olds don’t sleep in cribs, Howon.”

 

“What?--oh.” He finally took the time to inspect the box and it was indeed, a crib. Infact Howon looked around and realized he was in the baby aisle. Dongwoo was no help, he stood there while he attempted to stifle his laughter (it wasn’t working). Mentally scolding himself for being so stupid, he placed the box back gingerly. His ears weren’t red, they weren't.  

 

Thirty minutes later Howon found himself trapped in a stalemate. Dongwoo refused to give up while Howon refused to agree on a gift. Dongwoo was too persistent for his own good and Howon was...even worse.They encircled each other like tigers,menacing glares and taut posture, in the Barbie aisle.   

 

“Okay fine! what about this? surely you can't find a problem with THIS!” Dongwoo was gripping onto the item so hard his knuckles were white. His eyes screamed ‘if you reject this I’ll ing murder your stupid Usher CD collection right before your eyes’ but Howon was far from backing down.

 

“Too colorful.”  

 

Dongwoo slammed the toy to the floor and harshly pulled out another one-- not even bothering to look at what it was.

 

“Tell me….” His words came out between heavy breaths. “Tell me ‘no’ one more time…”

 

“It’s looking at me funny.”

 

That, was when Dongwoo lost it. He chucked the poor toy straight into Howon’s face, and made a move to strangle him. His anger could challenge that of a bull on valentine's day.. His face was an incredible shade of scarlet and he was ready to kill. Howon’s life may have flashed before his eyes for a second.

 

“THE IT IS!! YOU! I'M DONE YOU HEAR ME, DONE! WAIT WHAT ARE YOU--”

 

Thankfully before Dongwoo could be charged with manslaughter, a muscular employee stepped in and grabbed him from the back. He and another staff member came to drag Dongwoo out of the store. Dongwoo sure put up a struggle, seeing nothing but red in his vision, and Howon’s lifeless body in his future.

 

“Wait! I--” Howon finally called out, before dropping his outstretched hand to his side and looking from Dongwoo, to a worker. “--dont know him, sorry.”

 

Dongwoo refused to acknowledge him for an entire month after that.

 

x

 

“Explain to me again the logic behind going to an amusement park, to buy a birthday present.”

 

It was almost nauseating how good Dongwoo looked right now, sun shining through his hair while he leaned out the passenger window, just feeling the wind glide against his face. It’s not the first time Howon’s found himself granted with this view but it doesn’t make his chest feel any less tighter.

 

“The huge stuffed animals.”

 

He was purely too lazy to think of a better excuse, Howon was only half following his plan at the moment anyways. He wanted to have fun with Dongwoo like always, just for today he’d let himself relax. Just for today.

 

Watching Dongwoo run around as soon as they got to the park filled Howon’s heart with content. It was relaxing until Dongwoo fell face first onto the pavement, and Howon felt his blood pressure shoot up.

 

“Get up, are you okay?” Howon hauled Dongwoo up by his elbow, the latter not seemingly fazed, giving him this stupid eating grin. Before Dongwoo could bother to say anything stupid he was cut off.

 

“Let’s just get ice cream before you break something and ruin everything.”

 

Buying Dongwoo ice cream was possibly the worst investment he’s ever made in all of his 23 years of living. Howon thought he’d be rewarded with having the pleasure of wiping off some excess ice cream from Dongwoo’s cheek-- but what does Dongwoo do? Dongwoo downs the cone in one go, and  runs off to the first roller coaster he sees. Dongwoo gets on the ride, but not without yelling childish phrases at Howon . First of all, how did he even swallow an entire ice cream cone, and second of all no one calls Lee Howon a scaredy cat.  

 

If giving Dongwoo ice cream was a mistake, then agreeing to see who could ride the most  roller coasters consecutively was a catastrophe. Howon fared pretty well, in his opinion. He did not scream as loud as Dongwoo at least. He did, however, tap out after 8 rides. Somewhere around the sixth coaster, Dongwoo became possessed. He wouldn’t even wait for Howon to pick his stomach off the floor before dashing to the next ride. The only thing that stopped Dongwoo from getting on the ‘Load Shooter’ was the intercom announcing the closing of the park, that and Howon was dragging him by his waist away from the line. (It was one of the five most difficult things Howon’s had to do in his life-- how did Dongwoo get so strong?)

 

Stepping into the car after he’d close Dongwoo’s door, Howon the ignition and began to drive out of the park.

 

“Mmm, Howon?” Dongwoo’s voice was sleepy, adorably so, and Howon was a bit surprised. He thought Dongwoo passed out with the way his head fell back towards the seat when he got in.

 

“Yeah? you want me to turn the ac on? what is it?”

 

“No, it’s jus, thank you..”

 

He decided to stay silent for a few moments, confused as to what Dongwoo meant. Thank you for taking me to the park? or thank you for being my friend? In the end he decided it didn’t really matter, if anything he should be thanking Dongwoo.

 

Speaking of Dongwoo, he finally fell asleep. Snoring softly against the seat, Howon felt himself grow calm. It felt entirely too domestic and he couldn’t help but indulge. Imagining their roles being different, them dating, this could’ve been something like their anniversary. Howon would’ve kissed away any bits of ice cream that Dongwoo would’ve managed to get over his face, in turn Dongwoo would’ve laughed and laughed while calling him cheesy. Ah, he would’ve liked that. Maybe, someday he’d live out these fantasies.

 

x

 

10 shirts, 3 pairs of pants and 2 shoes, were items Dongwoo was struggling to grasp as Howon stood glaring up at the shelves, inspecting the items. Howon knew what he was doing, he just needed to make sure Dongwoo didn’t. And with the growing look of confusion and on Dongwoo’s face, Howon was beginning to think he just might never find out. The real issue at hand was which pair of leather pants would Dongwoo’s look the finest in? This dull leather wasn’t as shiny as the other pair but it was hemmed to be tighter around the thighs….however--

“Ah Howon, I have a question.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“What are you doing all this for? You said we were shopping for your sister, not you”

 

‘There is no sister’ he almost said, but he conveniently remembered that yes, this was actually suppose to be for his sister and yes he was still lying.

 

“For you, as a thank you. We’ll go looking for her gift at a shop later.”

 

“This i-is too much I'm not --”

 

“I didn't say the whole thing was for you” (it was) “I’ll just buy you these pants and that t-shirt, why would I ever spend money on you anyways, all you’ve done lately is free load at my house and throw away my stuff”

 

“They were trash! your place is filthy!”

 

“They weren't trash! They were Demi Lovato cd’s”

 

“Exactly! trash.”

 

He wasn’t going to strangle Dongwoo he wasn’t going to strangle Dongwoo he wasn’t he wasn’t he wasn’t. If he threw the leather pants a little too hard and a little too close to Dongwoo’s face however, that was purely a ‘mistake’.

 

They left the store with 13 shirts, 2 jackets, 3 shoes, and 5 pairs of pants; all of which were suspiciously Dongwoo’s size. He let Dongwoo lead them into another toy store he was familiar with. It was just as brightly lit as the last one they visited, and was pretty crowded. Kid’s ran between the halls, some sadly restrained by their parents. Dongwoo was one of those sad kids, except it was Howon pulling on the back of his hoodie so he couldn’t run off to the toy cars.

 

They stop at a rack in the back of the store, there’s lots of stuffed animals, tigers and teddy bears, even a rabbit. For once he takes his own plan seriously and starts considering the dolls. Bunnies are cute, but she’s his sister, so she’ll want something stronger…. a panda? No a dog? or a Lion….or a “pffffhhahafff” bear? no thats overrated “FFFHHhhhhhhaahhah” what about…

 

“BWAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH OH MY GOD… OH MY GOD LOOK HEREHHGHHAHAH LOOK AT ME”

 

“what the is wrong with you-”

 

“AHHAHAHHAHAH I CANT--” Dongwoo proceeded to gasp in a breath so hard Howon was almost scared the entire store was going to be in Dongwoo’s mouth at this very moment. “BREATH OH GOD..HHAHAHAHAHAH”

 

“What. Is. It.” At this point Dongwoo was literally in tears, on the ground. He couldn’t look up without losing his composure all over again. Howon was losing his patience (Embarrassed actually).

 

“I just-- never you’d be so suitable for, puppy play”

 

“WHAT”

 

 Howon moved to check out a round mirror fixated on the ceiling and oh god--  the Dongwoo had placed a headband with puppy ears on his head. He whipped his head around to glare, except Dongwoo only reverted back into laughter.

 

“We’re here for my sister!”

 

“Thats-thats not what you were saying an hour ago!”

 

Howon would’ve been irritated if it weren’t for the fact that he just realized that Dongwoo was wearing a pair of his own. Howon found himself bursting into his own tears of laughter at the sight. There was Dongwoo, with a set of elephant ears. The sight was just too priceless, he couldn’t help but laugh harder, and harder, and harder, and harder.

 

They laughed and cried the entire time the guards carried them out the mall for causing a ‘disturbance.’  

 

At least Howon knew he wouldn’t be ignored like last time.

 

x

“I’m sorry for the other day, we couldn’t find your sister a gift”

 

“It’s fine, that’s why we’re here”

 

“A candy store...for your five year old sister?”

 

The store was practically barren, save for a snoozing employee passed out behind a text book. It was a place Howon went to rarely, but whenever he did it was usually to reward himself, they had the best raspberry lollipops. The shelves were wooden, overly shiny, as if someone went overboard on the resin. The floors would creak with every step you took, and the door that led inside wasn’t much better. Still, howon held this place fondly in his memories, it was the first place he stepped into when he moved to the city, he was so lost and tired he just gave up and walked into the first shop he saw. Thankfully the owner was in at the time and gave him some directions, not without urging him to make a few purchases of course, and the rest was history.

 

“You know, my sister has been begging me for these truffles for weeks now, so I think I found the perfect gift.”

 

“Woah really? that’s my favorite candy!”

 

“Ah.. are you serious? I had no idea.” He knew, there was no way he could forget with all those times Dongwoo would literally stop in his tracks whenever he saw spotted the chocolates in a shop window.

 

“Yeah! aaw are you sure I can’t meet her? Now that I think about it..” Oh no. “Why haven’t I seen any photos of her at your house? or anywhere really..”

 

“That’s..I have to go pay for these, and no you can't meet her, she’s..busy”

 

“Busy doing what!?”

 

“GHWAH WHAT ARE YOU--oh-- OH! I'm so sorry! I didn’t know we had customers, I'm sorry!”

 

Howon almost yelped at the sudden awakening of the store employee. He watched Dongwoo apologize for waking him, before he stepped away, further behind Howon.

 

“It’s fine, I'd like 1 pound of the…. truffles please? thanks.”

 

“Y-yes no problem, I’ll get these chocolates for your boyfriend in no time.”

 

Howon stood  in pure horror at the thought that he was being too obvious. Dongwoo just laughed, indulging in the sight of Howon’s ears burning a bright red, he rarely gets to see the other like that.

 

“W-we’re not..”  Howon starts, but Dongwoo only steps in closer and takes a hold of his hand, interlocking their fingers.

 

“We’re not what honey?” The look of fear in Howon’s eye’s is hilarious and Dongwoo is having a field day.

 

The kiss on the cheek Dongwoo grants Howon with as they walk out-- before turning back to wink at the employee-- is just the icing on the cake.

 

x

 

He can hear the tv playing from the kitchen. Of course Dongwoo would change the channel the second he got up from the couch. He’ll have to go back and fight for the remote again. Unless Sunggyu stops him from getting Dongwoo in a chokehold, because Sunggyu is lame. He’s refilling his cup with water while he listens in on a few murmurs, they’re talking about…. what was that?

‘We’ve been shopping everywhere lately for his sister’  oh god. No no no no this can’t be happening. His plan was foolproof! He’d get to be alone with Dongwoo and treat him to a few places while the other would be none the wiser, and then… then what? Okay he didn’t really figure out how to close the plan but THIS was definitely not apart of it. He walked back into the living to try and cut Dongwoo off but it's too late.

 

“His sister? Dongwoo… Howon doesn’t have a sister.” Sunggyu’s sitting on that stupid recliner he insists is his spot everytime he comes over, because he’s the oldest. His face is anything but kind by the time he turns to look at Howon. Infact it resembles the devil in a way, his future flashes before his eyes and it's full of fire and eternal damnation.

 

“He… doesn't..?”  He suddenly feels bad, really really bad. This makes him feel worse than watching an ASPCA commercial.

 

“HA! god no! He’s an only child, I can’t believe you lied to Dongwoo like this-- wait scratch that, I can.”

And here it begins, Sunggyu won't let him live a day without being reminded of what he’s done to Dongwoo. In fact the man is probably LIVING off of his discomfort at the moment.

 

“Shut up Sunggyu”

 

“Wait what’s he trying to say?” Dongwoo finally chose to speak up now of all times, Sunggyu can only attempt to stifle his laughter.

 

“I’m saying, that every single time he took you out to go “shopping” for his “sister” was because he was too scared to ask you out on a--MMMMPH!”

 

“I said,shut up.” Howon literally dashed from the opposite side of the room to silence Sunggyu in a headlock. He never felt more angry and embarrassed in his entire life. It didn’t help that when he peered over to Dongwoo he was just sitting there blushing--wait what?

 

Howon’s grip began to slack while he stood up straighter to look Dongwoo in the eyes, Sunggyu could only gasp for air.

 

“You...you like me..?” Howon froze. His heart stopped, for 20 seconds at least. Only to hear Dongwoo answer his own question with a sudden confidence and a blinding grin adorning his face.

 

“You like me.”  More than that, more than anything, he loved him. He was absolutely smitten. He wanted to treasure him, move in together and cuddle every morning. He wanted to take Dongwoo out places, anywhere really, just as long as they were together. He wanted to spill all of his feelings and yet Howon could only feebly respond:

 

“Y-yeah.”

 

“Glad I could help you two get together. I’ll just see myself out, before it gets gross..” With Sunggyu out of the apartment, Dongwoo stood up from the couch, and made his way in front of Howon.

 

“You know what?”

 

With the most adorable light blush on his cheeks -- in contrast to Howon’s burning red ones-- Dongwoo glanced up at Howon from under dark lashes, and kissed him.

 

It was innocent, but the most fulfilling kiss Howon’s ever had. He felt like he was melting into nothing more than a warm gooey pile of himself. The light pressure Dongwoo granted him was like a dream. When Dongwoo kissed his cheek, Howon was touching a hand to the spot for days, remembering the feeling. This however, was so much better.

 

“I like you too.”

 

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