Written by: "4everinfinite"

Pairing: Woogyu

Prompt: Their real idol life. Not just using their names and characters in a different setting.

(Words: 2,630)

  We are just friends, he says.

  Merely friends, he says.

  Was, am and will, he says.

---

  He never knew that crying would be such a release.

 But here, standing on this stage and crying his guts out, well, that was relieving. Especially when he didn’t have to cry under the cold covers during sleepless nights and heart breaking days.

  He felt the side hugs from Dong Woo from the right, Sung Jong’s pat on his left shoulder, and Myung Soo’s hugs tightening from the front. He received tissues and bottles of water and the fans screaming of ‘Don’t cry’ and ‘Everything is going to be all right’ and ‘I love you’. But there was Kim Sung Gyu, standing at the side of the stage and looking at the audiences as if nothing had happened; as if a figure was not crying on the other side of the stage.

He looked at the corner of his eyes -- and there he was, picking up a bottle of water after standing still at the spot for about a minute and remained motionless afterwards-- no attempt of coming any closer to himself.

  He cried even harder.

---

  Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he flung open the waiting room’s door and got himself sit on the sofa. He curled himself into a ball and waited for the remaining crew to get inside the room and soon, the atmosphere was filled with laughters and shifting of objects around. Woo Hyun sat on the sofa among all the mess, eyes still closed and arms around himself.

  He felt someone sitting on the sofa with a thump and a hand reaching onto his forehead. Then he heard Sung Yeol’s high pitch screaming of ‘Oh my god Nam Woo Hyun is having a fever what should we do’ and some incoherent words.

  He remained motionless and his body was soon lifted lightly by someone--perhaps their manager--and he remained eyes closed as he felt the steady footsteps underneath the thick arms carrying him through.

  It must not be Kim Sung Gyu carrying me. His arms are never thick enough to carry a person. That was his last thought before he felt a pang of pain searing through his mind and falling into the abyss of darkness.

---

White, all he saw was the colour white when he opened his eyes again. He blinked again and again, but all he saw was still white. He could hear the rush of footsteps outside, with some shouting and sobbing which seemed distance away; and he smelt a light apple odor diffusing in the room, mixing with the loathful smell of disinfectant spray.

“Oh, Woo Hyun Hyung, you are awake!” There came Sung Yeol’s over exaggerating voice. He turned his head, and saw Sung Yeol sitting on a stool, clumsily cutting an apple. The comical scene made Woo Hyun laughed heartily, but stopped when he realized one thing.

“Where are the others?” he asked. Sung Yeol coughed awkwardly, and handed him the apple.

“Where are the others?” he persistently asked again.

“Dong Woo Hyung and Sung Jong had just left for practice, Myung Soo and Hoya need to film for the upcoming film, I guess they will come as soon as possible. Do you know how pale Myung Soo’s face was when you fainted? Woo Hyun Hyung, just take care of yourself...” Sung Yeol talked unstoppably, and Woo Hyun could feel that Sung Yeol was trying to neglect “Kim Sung Gyu” this name.

“How about Sung Gyu Hyung?” he stopped the prolix talk, and asked.

“Sung Gyu Hyung?” Sung Yeol’s voice trailed off, and Woo Hyun knew that wasn’t a good sign, “I am not sure, he did not get on to the ambulance with us…”

Even though that was not a surprising fact for Woo Hyun that Sung Gyu did not stay with him, his heart was filled with an unknown feeling, that was creeping in his mind, eroding every corner of his heart. He would call that disappointment, or something that is beyond disappointment, it was the feeling of drinking a cup of coffee without sugar, and the bitter taste that stretched on your tongue; it was the feeling of stabbing a pin in your finger, and witness how your blood rush out.

His boyfriend, Kim Sung Gyu, was not coming to see him.

---

Woo Hyun stayed awake for the whole day, lying on the bed, staring at the white ceiling blankly. Sung Yeol left after he finished the apple, Dong Woo came again after he had ended the training, Myung Soo and Hoya arrived after they finished the takes.

He did not know what was the reason for him to do all this, for forcing himself to stay awake no matter how sick, how tired he felt right at the moment. And he had been staring at his phone for the whole night, tossing and turning in his bed, yet not a message nor a phone call came in.

He fell asleep around 4am, a streak a tear rolling down his sideburns and disappearing into the mattresses instantly.

---

‘Get well soon, handsome boy,’ The eomoni responding for cleaning the floors said to him as he and his manager proceeded to the counter to check out from the hospital. Woo Hyun greeted her with a smile and waved her goodbye.

Many fans were waiting at the front entrance of the hospital, but the manager still managed to usher him through a small and deserted pathway to the carpark without being spotted by any saesang fans. He sighed in relief as he boarded the car without any accidents or disturbance. Looking at the swift moving views through the windows, he recalled his sleepless night on the hospital bed. The leather seats and the slight rocking front and back of the van created the best cradle for Woo Hyun to sleep, and he found his eyelids closing and his senses wavering into a slumber.

---

  ‘Woo Hyun? Wake up. We have arrived.’

  Woo Hyun felt a slight pat on his shoulder as he shot his eyes open and faced their manager. It had felt such a short time yet he had already arrived at their dorm.

  ‘Come on and get up. Can you walk by yourself?’

  He nodded and pushed himself up from the umber-colored seat. Wobbling down the van, he trudged towards the dorm entrance and placed his sweaty palms onto the door handle. He pushed through his way and went straight into the lift, ignoring the manager’s shout about schedules and practices behind him deliberately. He struggled a bit on the panel -- which number should I take? Number 4 or number 5? One is Sung Gyu’s floor and the other one is mine. He remembered how he stared at his phone monitor all night yesterday and the phone didn’t even vibrate once -- what is the need for him to go to Sung Gyu’s floor?

  He pressed number 4 instead and he watched mindlessly as the lift went up one level by another.

---

  He spent the day roaming around the internet and eating crisps he hided in his cupboard. He sent a SNS telling fans that he was feeling better, but deleted it after he could not find the right picture to post. He changed clothes, tried a dorm edition of fashion show, ate 2 bowls of cereals, read two pages of a book called How to Train your Dog -- must have been sung jong’s property--before realizing that he didn’t have a dog, and basically did everything that didn’t relate to one person.

His peaceful evening was disturbed by a phone call from the person he was certain that he didn’t want to meet.

Kim Sung Gyu, his phone flashed.

His pororo theme song ringtone rang once, twice, and thrice and still, he couldn’t bring himself to pick up the phone.

What is this-- a cruel joke of offering one a piece of candy after slapping him? Thinking that the victim will still follow him blindlessly after being offered a candy? No. He won’t.

Yet the victim was Nam Woo Hyun and he was Kim Sung Gyu, and Nam Woo Hyun could not resist anything that was offered by Kim Sung Gyu.

---

“Hello?”

“Woo Hyun ah, I just met CEO nim, and he told me that he will give you a three-week rest to recover.”

“I am fine hyung. I do not need a rest, it is just a fever.” Woo Hyun said stubbornly.

“Just rest, do not worry about the comeback and world tour.”

“Hyung, you know how much I am waiting for the stage.”

“Just rest, your body is too weak to continue the busy schedule.”

“It is OK, hyung. I can do it.” Woo Hyun insisted.

“doo… doo…” but what replied Woo Hyun was the cold call from the other side.

He sighed exasperatingly. Stubborn kim sung gyu, he commented in his mind as he returned back to his desk for another round of computer games.

---

Stubborn Nam woo hyun ignored stubborn kim sung gyu’s warning and went back to the practice room and danced to Bad’s choreography before being shoved back onto bed by a stubborn manager. He came back on the next day, showing up with his greasy smile and danced for about an hour, then was put back into bed by the manager. The cycle continued for five days, and the Stubborn Kim Sung Gyu turned into an Angry Kim Sung Gyu.

‘I said you need rest, namu. A sick patient shouldn’t wander off by oneself and dance. You are sick, so you should rest.’

‘Nah, hyung, I am fine. I was sick, but not anymore. Look I can dance to Bad for an hour without getting tired, and--’

‘That is not impressive, hyun. You could dance for 2 to 3 hours without stopping before. Now stop talking crap and go back to rest.’

‘I don’t need to rest! I am fine.’

‘Stop being stubborn! Go ing back to sleep! It’s an order.’

‘Oh does that mean you would me in my sleep? Gladly, Kim Sung Gyu, I never knew that you are that desperate.’

‘Doo…doo…’ a certain leader was too angry and cut the line abruptly.

Basically most phone calls end like this, and for Woo Hyun, he really likes to listen to Sung Gyu’s oh i am the leader oh i love giving orders oh im so arrogant that i will tell my bandmate woo hyun to ing go to sleep but im too angry when he says he wants to me speech. These kinds of phone calls last for about three days before angry Sung Gyu turning into Very Angry Sung Gyu.

‘Nam Woo Hyun.’

One day he just barged into Woo Hyun’s little room, went up and stared at him as if he was the last person alive. ‘Why aren’t you answering any of my calls?’

‘You didn’t answer any of my calls when I was hospitalized. What about this?’ Woo hyun calmly replied.

Sung Gyu went speechless. ‘I...I…’

‘Humor me. Why didn’t you answer my phone calls then?’

‘I was...I was busy. There were many schedules at that day.’ Sung Gyu answered with an embarrassed shrug and a quick dismissal wave. ‘Hey-- that’s not the point. The point is I have come to see you now and I need you to rest. Like now.’

‘I don’t see the point of going to sleep when I am perfectly fine, hyung. I was sick when I was hospitalized , and yes-- I quite need you to tell me to sleep at that time instead of waiting for your calls-- but for now, I really don’t need a grandpa’s nagging to tell me to sleep. I am healed. Thoroughly.’

‘Wait…you didn’t sleep when you are supposed to sleep at the hospital just to wait for my calls? Nam Woo Hyun, you are absurd!’

‘I think so as well. I must be absurd to have chosen you as my boyfriend too, Kim Sung Gyu. No one would leave their partner behind when he or she is hospitalized, and make up an excuse of busy schedules afterwards.’

‘I … I really was busy! Don’t be so childish. You knew that idols can’t escape from their work. I know you are angry that your solo album is delayed because of your sickness but you shouldn’t vent it out towards me--’

‘Don’t even start on the solo album.’ Kim Sung Gyu looked at Woo Hyun’s angry face and he knew that this time he had jabbed too hard. ‘It was never meant to happen, right? Not after your partner had made two solo albums already. No wonder the CEO nim would delay the production. All the you should focus on your health instead of the album are all bulls, I believe. You knew that I have hoped for the album for long and what have you done here? You dream wrecker, you.’

Kim Sung Gyu tried to protest but Woo Hyun stopped him. ‘Let me finish first.’

‘Well, if you are still this happy to see me fail, then go on. I would gladly accept the challenge. But here’s the catch.’

‘Let’s break up, Gyu.’

Let’s break...up?

Kim Sung Gyu didn’t know what to respond when he heard those words. Yet Woo Hyun was standing right in front of him, looking at him as calmly as he could.

‘Why...why?’ his voice croaked in emotions.

‘We aren’t meant to be each other, Sung Gyu. You are the leader, I am just a member. I tried my best to get a solo promotion--even tried to adlib in a performance--you just need to open your mouth and everyone will come rushing towards you with contracts. I tried hard to be a good boyfriend, but all you could see in me are never good enough.’

A single tear dropped elegantly from Woo Hyun’s right eye and slided down his cheeks. ‘We are living in two different worlds. We aren’t and we can’t be together.’

‘Trust me, Woo Hyun, you are the best boyfriend I could ever get. So don’t think about yourself in that way! I was too busy when you were hospitalized at that day and I didn’t get to see you. I held no other intention, I promise--’

‘Stop lying, Kim Sung Gyu. Sung Jong told me you don’t have any schedules that day and you went to see a friend. A female friend. Even when your boyfriend is sick.’

The simple lines froze Sung Gyu. Seeing the expression on his face, Woo Hyun sighed and walked towards the door.

Before turning the doorknob, Woo Hyun quietly added, ‘I heard your phone call that day, hyung.’

‘Eomma? It’s Sung Gyu.’

‘Yes, of course I did. I gave some of the soup to Woo Hyun as well.’

‘What? Me and Woo Hyun? Seriously? Eomma we are just friends.’

‘We are close but merely are just friends! Trust me!’

‘Was, am and will. Yes, I swear. Yes.’

‘Alright, I will call you later. I have a schedule running through.’

‘Yes. Talk to you later. Bye.’

Sung Gyu never knew that a person would be standing next to the curtains, absorbing every word said in the phone call.

Sung Gyu never knew Woo Hyun had known his secret for long.

Outside the window there went a floating cloud mulling over multiple colors, reflecting rays of colorful sunshine to the ground.

And there was also this Nam Woo Hyun, turning his back to the corridor just like how the cloud floated away after casting colorful rays.

Sung Gyu could not retain his facial expression anymore, and a drop of tear fell from his eyes...