Siwon watched as the couple walked farther and farther away from him. He hadn’t moved one bit ever since he saw his wife waiting for someone. It seemed as if he was waiting for him; but that’s what Siwon thought.

It’s what he wanted and hoped for. His wife waiting for him, not Minho. As Siwon watched his wife days ago, he had seen the man and Kibum together, but he never thought and believed they were that close.

He had thought wrong. Now look at where he is. Standing still, sad and hurt and in deep shock. It seemed as if this is what he gets for having such high hopes: you only get hurt.

Siwon didn’t feel like moving or leaving. Though he knew a worker in the mall would say, “Sir, what are you doing?” or a mall cop might say, “Sir please move or leave. The people are getting worried and freaked out.”

He’d boil up in annoyance. He would ignore them. He would continue to stand still. Until Kibum came back for him, was when he’d leave. Just for Siwon.

How much Siwon wished this was all a dream. Then again, this wasn’t a dream, asleep or awake. It was a nightmare. A dream was something people would rather enjoy, and there was no enjoyment in Siwon. Dreams were things you wouldn’t want to wake up from, while nightmares were things you’d desperately want to wake up from.

Yup, for Siwon, he wanted to wake up and lie beside Kibum, like it always was. Waking up beside Kibum was a dream to Siwon that he never wished to wake up from. Even if the younger was just asleep, Siwon would treasure the moment. He’d never forget it. He’d watch the younger sleep as if it were his last time watching Kibum sleep.

Siwon felt a tap on his right shoulder. He ended up snapping out of his thoughts, but still didn’t move. He heard a deep sigh and then someone pulled him away from his spot. He ended up facing the cat diva.

“Heechul? Why are you here?” Siwon asked confusingly.  

“What does it look like to you, Mr. Smarty Pants?” Heechul asked, gesturing the shopping bags. Understand and realizing the diva was there to shop, of course, Siwon nodded.

“Sorry,” Heechul said.

“Huh? For what?” Siwon asked curiously. He could’ve sworn his friend had done nothing wrong…at least he didn’t think so.

“About the whole scene back there. It must’ve pierced your heart, right?” Heechul asked with his hands on his hips. Siwon nodded his head to his friend’s reply.

“Wanna talk about it?” Heechul asked.

“Does it look like I do?” Siwon asked with a spark of anger lighting up in him.

“Geez. You got to be all tough don’t you? No. Of course you wouldn’t want to talk about it, that’s quite obvious to everyone who knows about your situation. Anyone can tell, you look like ! Who would want to talk about it when it just happened, eh? I knew you’d react like this.”

“Then why ask?” Siwon asked in annoyance.

 “I’m afraid that you’d commit suicide,” Heechul said seriously.

Siwon immediately looked offended, “I’m not stupid.”

“No. You aren’t, but just because you aren’t stupid doesn’t mean you won’t try stupid things.” Heechul said.

“Stupid things…like what?” Siwon challenged. What could he possibly do? Yes, this was all hard…but how far could he actually go? Or how anyone can?

Heechul looked down at his shoes and then back up with more confidence and seriousness in his expression and tone, “Abandon Kiwon.”

What? Abandon Kiwon? Abandon his own son that he can take care of? Siwon wouldn’t have the heart do so. But…anyone could possibly do that.

Kiwon is just a baby. Siwon’s and Kibum’s child. Kiwon is a part of the couple. How could Siwon abandon something not only a part of him, but of Kibum? Yes, it seemed hard to not raise a baby without a Mother, but…Kiwon was Siwon’s son. He could never, no matter what…abandon him.

Kibum doesn’t even remember or know he has a baby. Siwon wished for Kibum to spend time with Kiwon, so he’d recognize who his Mother really is. If Kiwon was surrounded by Donghae, Ryeowook or Leeteuk too much, Kiwon could mistakenly think one of them as his Mother.

Siwon wanted Kibum to spend time with Kiwon, but how? He can’t just go to Kibum and say, “We have a baby together.” No. That would make Kibum confused and lost. That’s the last thing Siwon wants for Kibum.

He knew for sure, it wouldn’t be easy to get Kibum back. There was just too much that Kibum didn’t remember.

“What? Why would I do that?” Siwon asked with a bit of anger in his tone.

Heechul sighed deeply and answered, “People tend to do stupid stuff in moments like this. It’s nothing no one really had intentions on doing so, but it happens. But I’m not saying that you would. Because I know and believe and hope you don’t. Even if you think and say you would, in the end, you wouldn’t. But, you don’t fool me.” He smirked afterwards.

“No one does,” Siwon admitted.

No fooled the Kim Heechul.

“Come on. Let’s get you home,” Heechul said as the younger agreed by nodding.

The two left the mall and both drove in their own cars to Sibum’s apartment. The memory of Kibum being with another man, made Siwon’s tears fall onto the material of his jeans.

Minho had dropped Kibum off at his house. Before Minho left, he had placed a soft kiss on Kibum’s cheek.

Kibum sighed in relief as Minho left. It was another day with Mr. Fancy.

Kibum heard his Mother’s voice, and another woman’s too coming from the living room. He didn’t clearly recognize the woman’s voice at first, which made him almost walk in, but it was his Mother’s words that made him freeze, or what made time stop.

“Yes, I do agree. They should get married.” Mrs. Kim squealed.

“Marriage? It sounds absolutely perfect! Minho and Kibum are such a perfect couple! My son would totally agree as well! But are they ready? I mean, it’s only been two or less weeks since the accident.”

Minho’s Mother? Mrs. Lee? Marriage? Kibum thought in confusion.

“Come on! Haven’t you seen them? They need to get married,” Mrs. Kim said in a “must happen” tone.

Kibum stepped a bit back.

His Mother and Mrs. Lee, want him and Mingo to get married? How could this happen? Wasn’t this a bit “all of a sudden”? Kibum doesn’t even feel right being with Minho. Damn, he doesn’t feel right being with his parents.

Dealing with the previous memory he had, how could he get married? He just came back from the hospital too, and here he is, listening to his Mother and Minho’s mother planning his and Minho’s wedding ceremony.

He dashed upstairs to his room. He slammed and locked the door, knowing someone obviously heard. He then threw himself onto his bed carelessly and tiredly. He heard a little noise from his desk (his laptop.)

He climbed off his bed and went towards the laptop to enter his email to check his inbox just to find one new message. The title on the message was, “International Mail.”

Kibum tilted his head in confusion and debated if he should open or not. Random or messages that were from somewhere else, sometimes weren’t good.

Who sent this? Where is it from? Kibum thought, still debating whether or not to open the message.

He took a deep breath and opened the message and found a message that said with more than one word:

Pictures

From: Eunhae

To: Bummie

Kibum scrolled down to find pictures of the couple. He laughed when he found them doing all these different expressions and faces; seriousness, anger, funny faces, faces of enjoyment, and many more.

Where were they? He scrolled down all the way underneath the pictures to find more words:

In Paris right now!

 He didn’t know they left to another country. Why didn’t they tell him? His friends? His parents? No one had spoken a word to him. Kibum sighed deeply. He’ll put that on the “List of Thing That People Don’t Tell Him.”

He looked through the box; he stopped when he heard a soft knock. He walked towards the door nervously and then unlocked it. It was his parents and in his Mother’s hands was a box?

“Umma, Appa, is something wrong?” Kibum asked.

Mrs. Kim eyed the box, which was something Kibum noticed immediately.

“What’s in the box?” Kibum asked.

“Memories,” Mr. Kim said.

Kibum moved away from the doorway so his parents could enter the room. Once they had, Mrs. Kim had placed the box on top of her son’s bed and Mr. Kim opened the box. His parents moved away from the box so Kibum could look into it.

He found pictures in this box. It was pictures of a couple; two men; Minho and Kibum. They looked happy and like a real couple.

Why didn’t he feel happy with Minho, like he was in the pictures? Why doesn’t it feel real? Why was this relationship of theirs…one sided?

He sighed, but smiled. How could he not feel right or happy when in the pictures, it seemed as if he was.

“It’s Min and me,” He whispered.

“Yup. And we also have a big surprise for you!” Mrs. Kim squealed.

Kibum smiled brightly in confusion. What could his parents possibly have in mind for him? He flinched when he heard footsteps and noticed a figure at the doorway. He looked directly at the figure. It was Minho.

“Hello darling,” Minho greeted. He walked towards Kibum and once he was in front of him, he placed a kiss on his right cheek.

“We’ll leave you two alone.” Mrs. Kim said, smiling widely. Kibum panicked a bit when his parents made it to the door.

No! No! Please don’t leave me here, Kibum thought. He believed the older would do something he wouldn’t enjoy or like.

Minho and Kibum ended up looking at the pictures together (Kibum sat on the bed and Minho sat on the chair where the desk is.) Kibum found it a little friendly and luckily, Minho didn’t do anything that Kibum had in mind. Laughing, and chatting nonstop about the pictures. To Kibum, this time they were spending together, seemed like a friendship developing into something more.

Minho stopped chatting and laughing once he picked up a picture of him hugging Kibum from behind while his lips were touching Kibum’s cheek. Kibum found the silence strange.

“What’s wrong, Minho?” Kibum asked.

Minho placed the picture back into box and stood up to take Kibum’s hand, so Kibum could stand up.

Minho let go of Kibum’s hand and kneeled down on one knee. He dug out a little black box out of his left back pocket. Once the box was in his hands, he looked up at Kibum with a bright sweet smile.

“Kibum, I know this might seem a bit quick because of the accident and we’re still trying to catch up on things. But because of how long we’ve been together, I think it’s time for this.” Minho explained. He opened the box, revealing a diamond ring.

Kibum widened his eyes and asked in shock, “Minho…what is this?”

Minho let out a chuckle. “I’ve put thought in this. I need you to know. I love you, and always will. So…Kim Kibum, will you marry me?”

There it goes again. The aching in him appeared again. Those words, he’s heard of them before.

It was nighttime, someone was kneeling on one knee and in front of Kibum.

“Kim Kibum...will you marry me?” A familiar voice and the figure that was kneeling asked.

“Yes,” Kibum answered. The person smiled in joy and placed the ring on Kibum’s fourth finger.

Will you…marry me? Marry me…

Kim Kibum…will you…marry me?

Will you marry…will you marry…me?

Kibum was shock. Those words were being said by him.

Kibum looked into Minho’s eyes and mumbled, “Ye…yes.”

He didn’t remember smiling. He didn’t remember saying yes. He didn’t remember hugging Minho. He remembered nothing when Minho proposed.

But that night, that moment, that time, and that place, he did remember one thing. He couldn’t forget it. It was like ink on a paper; permanent and forever. That memory.

He couldn’t believe it.

He couldn’t believe that Choi Siwon proposed to him…and he had said yes.