Jin’s POV

Sakura’s house had always felt very lived-in to me. Her parents were home more often than mine, so maybe that was why it felt so comfortable to me. It was hard to see her mother sitting across from me in Sakura’s room, looking so sad and forlorn. Like an abandoned little child.

Mrs. Song tucked her knees up to her chest and pulled Sakura’s comforter around her.

“She’s not going to take over the family business, is she, Jin?”

“No.” I replied, subdued. “I don’t think she is.”

Her eyes, so like Sakura’s, flicked up to meet mine. “She doesn’t want us, does she? Doesn’t want this.” She gestured to the well-furnished, princess-style room. “Doesn’t want this life, hmm?”

“No.” I agreed. “She doesn’t.”

Mrs. Song scoffed and pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. “She likes living that hobo life with Jimin. Likes running a failing bookshop and living in a dusty apartment. I left my home for her, stayed with her father so she’d be able to inherit this business. And she leaves it all to play house with a baker.”

I turned in my seat at Sakura’s desk to examine the familiar pictures decorating the surface. One photo of her family, another of her college graduation, and one more of me and her in high school at a concert we’d snuck out to.

We did used to have fun together, back when we were young and I could let myself be careless.

I looked back at Mrs. Song’s miserable, frustrated face and felt the heavy weight of responsibility settle over my shoulders.

I wanted to live that life with Sakura; a tiny little apartment with her seemed like all I needed these days. But our parents had been too foolish to each only have one child to carry on the legacy. The word family had never seemed so burdensome.

I wished I could be a little more careless like my selfish little Kura.                                      

Sakura’s mother fixed me with a shrewd stare. I gazed back unblinkingly for a moment, then lowered my eyes.

“I heard your parents are sending you out on blind dates.”

I nodded. “Yes, they are. They’re just being practical, Mrs. Song. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“And what about you? Are you being practical?”

I took a minute to ponder my answer. She waited as my eyes flicked over the photographs on Sakura’s desk once more. So many years of memories with Sakura. I’d loved her as long as I could remember, but we had only dated for a fraction of that time.

I wanted the rest of my life with her, in love and happy. Free.

“I don’t want to be practical anymore.” I said quietly. Mrs. Song laughed again, but this time it was gentle, almost soothing. I looked over at her, surprised by her reaction. She shrugged and a slight frown replaced the smile. I could see the wrinkles lining her face, eyes creased with worry.

“Jin.” She sounded so tired. “Jin, just do what you want. If I had done what I wanted, I wouldn’t be sitting here in my daughter’s abandoned room, wondering when I’ll see her again. Wondering what all my sacrifices were for if my child just throws them away like they mean nothing to her. What was the point of it all? I might as well let her be happy. I did all this for her; if she doesn’t want it, who am I to force her?”

“I don’t want my parents’ sacrifices to be in vain.” I murmured.

“Don’t let your life be in vain.” Mrs. Song advised. “Do you want Sakura?”

“Yes.” I said gravely. “Yes, I do.”

“Is she going to be with you like this?” She waved her arm in a grand sweep of the room. “In this life? As Sakura Song, heiress?”

“No.” I whispered. “No, you and I both know she’s not coming back here.”

Mrs. Song shrugged. “What’s more important to you, Jin? Your parents will be dead in fifteen, twenty years? Maybe thirty. You’ll be fifty-five at the most; my age now. Will it matter then? Will your parents’ company matter to them when they’re on their deathbed, unable to make any more money?”

“I can’t just leave them!” I said helplessly. “They’re my parents. It’s not right.”

“Well, that’s your choice. But I know my daughter. She won’t come back here, and she won’t come back to you. You can’t please your parents and yourself at the same time.”

I didn’t answer her. Soon, she slipped out from underneath Sakura’s comforter and quietly left the room.

When I left, I went straight to my hairdresser’s for a new hairstyle. He looked a bit shocked by my request, but we both agreed in the end that blonde hair suited me. It matched the three new ear piercings I received afterwards from Sakura’s favorite tattoo parlor. I was with her when she’d pierced her nose there and gotten her little rose tattoo.

I didn’t buy any flashy, fashionable clothes, but I went home (wearing a beanie to cover my new hair and jewelry) and changed into her favorite outfit of mine. A pair of worn blue skinny jeans and an old concert tee. She loved that t-shirt; always wore it as a nightgown.

I wanted to see her.

Jimin answered her door. His eyebrows raised at the sight of my bright blonde hair, but he courteously stepped aside to let me in.

“Sweetheart, you’ve got company.” He called as we walked into the apartment.

Sakura’s sweet little face popped around the corner. It was the middle of the afternoon, but she still had on her pajamas and her hair was all knotted up into a loose, disheveled bun.

Her pajamas seemed to be an old black t-shirt with “Kiss the Cook” emblazoned on it. It had to be Jimin’s; the t-shirt was too big to be a shirt and too short to be a dress. Her tan thighs were on display for all to see.

I wanted to leave after seeing her like that, but she surprised me by smiling sweetly at me.

“Jin.” Her gentle voice melted my insides. “I’ve missed you.”

“Hi, Kura.” I said shyly. How could I be bashful at a time like this? Her lover was standing not ten feet from me, but I was behaving like an inexperienced schoolboy in front of his first crush.

Which, in all honesty, was what Sakura was to me.

“I’ll give you two some privacy, shall I?” Jimin offered graciously. I looked at him suspiciously, remembering our frequent aggressive interactions, but he merely smiled at me.

“Yeah, thanks.” Sakura walked over and kissed his cheek. “Are you going to open up the bakery?”

He laughed. “It’s a little late now, sweetheart. We really must stop sleeping in.” He laid a hand possessively on her waist as the implication of his words sank in. I knew they slept together, but I still didn’t like hearing about it.

“Take Jack with you.” Sakura commanded, sparing a glance at me. “Jin doesn’t like dogs.”

Jimin pulled her close and kissed her. I averted my eyes as she responded eagerly to his kiss. Why had I even come here? She wasn’t coming back with me.

“Text me when you’re done!” Jimin called as he opened the door.

“Do you have your keys?” She called after him.

“Yup! See ya, baby.” He blew her a kiss and she grinned lopsidedly at him.

“Take a seat.” Sakura offered as she disappeared into the kitchen. I could hear her pouring drinks and rummaging around in the fridge. “Do you want a cupcake? Jimin’s cupcakes are excellent.”

“Ah, no. Thanks.” I sat down on her old couch. I had helped her move it into her apartment after she’d moved in. She’d insisted on buying it from a secondhand store, despite my frequent warnings about bedbugs. I hated this couch. She’d tried to bring me round by kissing me rather passionately on it, but it hadn’t worked.

“Here you go.” She handed me a glass of iced tea. Homemade. She always liked her homemade iced tea.

“Thanks.” I took a sip to stall for time. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what to say to her.

“I like your hair.” Sakura tugged on a couple of strands. “It’s pretty.”

“Thank you.” It seemed that all I could do was thank her. I wanted to say something meaningful, something that would convince her to fall in love with me again.

I never thought I’d really lose her.

“You’re rather formal.” She teasingly poked my cheek. “Cat got your tongue?”

“You seem happy.” I said quietly, shaking around the ice in my glass.

“I am.” She leaned her head on my shoulder. “I’m happy, Jinnie.”

“Okay.” I heaved a sigh. “Your mom says hello.”

“How are my darling parents?” Sakura asked in a sarcastic drawl. “I thought they’d finally come around to the idea of me leaving the company since I’m dating Jimin, but they seemed to think it was all a ploy to make you jealous.”

“I thought that too, to be honest.” I admitted. “Until I saw how happy you are.”

She leaned back and cocked her head at me. “Did I make you jealous?”

I turned to study her. Nose ring glinting in the afternoon sun, thick black eyebrows highlighted by thick black eyeliner. Messy, unkempt curls. A string of hickeys on her collarbone.

“Do you love me?” I asked, my heart in my throat.

Sakura looked taken aback for a moment. I wasn’t sure what my face looked like, but I suppose my expression must have made her pity me.

“I’ll always love you, Jin.” She said in a tight, constrained voice. “We’re for forever.”

“Like…friends, forever? Or like, you’re in love with me kind of forever?” I pressed on, stumbling over some of the words. “Sakura, please. Tell me your real answer.”

“To what?” She whispered, tears suddenly b in her eyes. “What’s your question?”

“Do you love me?” I breathed, placing a hand on the back of her neck and pulling her close. “Do you want to be with me?”

“Jin, I already told you, I can’t live that life with you.” She began, pulling back. I tugged her closer and touched our foreheads together.

“Kura, I’ve decided to leave my family’s company.” I kissed her cheeks, one gentle kiss at a time. “I rented an apartment. Found it while I was dyeing my hair this morning. Do you wanna go look at it with me? I’ve got an appointment in an hour.” I murmured, kissing her neck. “Kura, do you love me?”

Sakura placed both hands on my chest and gently pushed me away.

“I’m with Jimin now.”

There was a sense of finality in those words. I knew it, and yet I found myself grasping at straws.

“You told me you didn’t love him. You said that you left him because you didn’t love him! Why are you back together now?” I grasped her shoulders. “Sakura, look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love him.”

She said nothing. Let the silence stretch long between us.

“I love you.” She whispered. “But I want to be with Jimin.”

“Even if I leave my parents’ company for you? Sakura, please.” I clasped her to my chest and feverishly kissed her hair. “Kura, please. If you love me, please be with me. I’m willing to give it all up for you.”

Sakura pulled back and brushed away a few tears. “Jin, I can’t do this right now.”

“Promise me you’ll think about it.” I clasped her hand. “Promise me.”

“I’ll think about it.” She murmured as she drew her phone from her pocket and tapped away at the keys.

I took the phone from her and cupped her face in my hands. “Kura, I love you.”

“I know, Jin.” She kissed my cheek, a goodbye caress.

A key jangled in the lock and soon Jimin cautiously opened the door. His eyes alighted on us in our compromising position. I hoped he would feel a spark of jealousy, but he and Sakura exchanged understanding smiles.

I felt like a third wheel in an apartment that used to feel like my home.

“Bye, Kura.” I ran my hand over her black curls. She smiled up at me and I found myself wishing that I could go back in time. If only I had listened when she first told me she didn’t want to be with me. I could have left my parents’ company before it was too late. Then Sakura and I could be the ones happily inhabiting this apartment. Maybe planning our wedding or planning our family.

I’d always wanted to have a child with her.

Sakura’s Pov

“Everything go okay?” Jimin asked me. He fumbled with Jack’s leash as he waited for my answer.

I ignored him and walked into the kitchen. Inside the fridge was a plate of delicious, perfectly iced cupcakes. I gingerly picked one up and slowly removed the wrapper. Jimin walked into the kitchen in time to catch me shoving the entire confection into my mouth. He stared at me with wide eyes.

I burst into tears.

“Sakura? Sweetheart?” Jimin tentatively reached out his hand, thin fingers brushing crumbs off of my lips. “Baby, what’s the matter?”

I lifted my hands to my face and vigorously shook my head. Tears trickled through my fingers and Jimin hummed sympathetically.

“What happened?”

“It’s…it’s nothing, Jimin.” I pulled a paper towel off of the roll and dabbed at my eyes. The material felt uncomfortably rough against my skin, but I couldn’t just stand there and let snot dribble down my chin.

“You still love him?”

I looked up into Jimin’s face. He bit his lower lip, eyes downcast. Black lashes fanned out against his full cheeks. He looked rather picturesque, in a disappointed way. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. His hands lightly gripped my waist and he kissed his way up my neck.

“Sa? You still love him?”

Instead of answering, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and hugged him close.

His posture slumped, but he merely sighed and held me tightly.

“I know I’m not Jin, but I love you.”

“I know you do.”

“Are you ever going to fall out of love with him?” Jimin teasingly took my earlobe into his mouth. “I could make it worth your while.”

“How’s that? You’re a big nerd; what can you do to make a popular, cool girl like me fall for you?” I asked with a smile.

“I’m good in bed. And I’m loyal, like a dog. Never ever leave your side.”

“You’re not rich, though. I’m accustomed to a certain lifestyle.” I sighed in mock-resignation.

Jimin snorted. “Please. I practically live with you; I’m pretty sure your ‘certain lifestyle’ refers to the number of pizzas you order on a weekly basis.”

“Hey, a girl’s gotta have luxuries in life.” I grinned and placed a tiny kiss on the tip of his nose.

“If we were gonna live together, whose apartment would we live in?” Jimin leaned his forehead against mine and rubbed our noses together.

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” I asked in surprise.

“Mm-hmm.” He nodded cutely. “I know we’re moving pretty fast, but I think we both want the same things. Besides, it’ll be nice to save on rent money. We’re always together, either at my place or your place. Might as well just live together.”

“Huh.” I stepped away from him and a worried expression quickly replaced Jimin’s affectionate smile.

“Too fast for you?”

I nodded and leaned onto the kitchen counter for support. “Just a little.” I said faintly. “Let me think about it. Let me take the weekend to decide, okay? I have to go home for my parents’ wedding anniversary, anyway.”

“Is Jin going to be there?” Jimin asked warily.

I nodded hesitantly.

Jimin placed a gentle hand on top of my head. “Don’t sleep with him. Okay? Promise?”

He held out his pinky finger. I looped mine around his and pressed our thumbs together.

“Promise.”