Sakura was gone when I woke up in the morning.

I sat up and let out a long sigh, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, feeling cold and lonely. I laid a hand over the spot where she’d slept. It was still warm, leading me to believe she hadn’t left too long ago. I rumpled the bedsheets between my fingers, frustrated and crabby. I hated waking up alone.

And I liked Sakura.

She wasn’t Maya, but I didn’t want to love Maya anymore. I wanted to break the unfortunate habit I had of dreaming about her every so often, of pulling out my mother’s engagement ring and wondering what it would have looked like on her finger. Damn sentimental fool.

I wanted to get rid of all the pictures she’d taken, how she’d pored over each scrapbook she made, only to leave them all behind when she moved out.

I wanted new memories.

I threw the covers off and groaned as my feet hit the carpet. Halfway to the door, it cracked open to reveal a dripping Sakura, clad only in one of my towels.

“You’re here.” I said rather breathlessly.

“You’re awake!” She smiled at me, cheerfully tightening the towel around herself. “Sorry, I needed to shower. Do you mind?”

“Nah, I don’t mind at all.” I swallowed nervously, trying not to stare at her pretty collarbones.

“I thought I could make breakfast.” She continued, strolling casually over to my closet. She sifted through my clothes and picked out another flannel. “You hungry?”

“Not particularly.” I replied, sitting down on the edge of my bed, palms pressed flat against the mattress.

I watched her as she untucked the towel and pulled the shirt over her head, wearing it like a tiny dress. Her long curls stuck to her skin, dripping wet from the shower. She went over to my dressed and rifled through it until she came up with a plain white tee. She wrapped it around her head, stuffing her curls under the strange headdress.

“What the hell is that?” I asked, cocking my head to one side.

“Can’t dry curls with a towel. Makes them frizzy.” Sakura informed me, coming over to me. She traced the side of my face with a finger, smiling affectionately at me. My heart warmed at the expression on her face. I knew she loved Jin, but her sweet smiles made me wonder if I was carving a place for myself in her heart.

I leaned in for a kiss and she willingly obliged, hand cupping my face.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” I whispered, wrapping my arms around her. She wound her arms around my neck, touching her forehead to mine.

“Morning, handsome.” Sakura smiled, sending tingles shooting across my palms.

“What do you wanna do today?” I asked, bending down to rest my head on her shoulder. The tip of my nose touched her neck and I breathed in deeply, holding her close.

“You’re looking at it.” She said, playing with my hair. “I wanna cuddle and read books and eat cold pizza.”

“Sounds amazing.” I whispered, moving closer to kiss her neck. I a small hickey against her skin, enjoying the tiny sigh she let slip.

Just then, her phone began to ring. She broke away from me and went to go answer it. The look on her face when she checked the caller ID gave me an idea that Jin was calling.

“Hey.” Sakura’s voice sounded tentative and shy. She paused while the other person talked. I met her eye and she immediately looked away.

Yup, it was definitely Jin on the phone.

“Yeah, we can meet up.” She said softly. “See you soon.”

I flopped back down on my bed, looking at her through half-closed eyes as she pulled on her tights, discarding my shirt like something unwanted. She spritzed generous amounts of perfume on her skin, trying to cover up my scent. That tiny action made me feel cheap. Used. Like a plaything she had no use for anymore now that her man wanted her again.

“See you later.” She whispered, kissing my forehead. I said nothing. We both knew where she was going.

I appreciated that she hadn’t tried to lie to me. That, at least, was something.

I heard the click of the door behind her and rolled over to rummage through my nightstand. I found an old pack of cigarettes and a lighter with my initials engraved on it. It had been Maya’s last gift to me.

I’d quit smoking out of spite. I didn’t want to use something she’d given me.

But I needed it now, needed a cigarette, needed that hit of nicotine to blur the pain of falling for someone who loves someone else.

It had been foolish of me to ask her to be my girlfriend. It had been foolish of me to feel that bright leap of hope when she’d introduced herself to my sister as my girlfriend.

As she’d walked past me to go out the door, I’d briefly imagined taking her hand and yanking her back into bed with me, reminding her that she was mine, that we’d agreed on this, that Jin didn’t really want her.

I wanted her. But she didn’t want me.

Besides, what would have been the point of reminding her that she was my girlfriend? People couldn’t own people.

Even if you love someone, it doesn’t make them yours.

I took a long drag from my cigarette, ignoring Jack’s whine.

People couldn’t own people. I couldn’t even own myself; I always gave myself away to people, belonging to them while they never belonged to me.

Unrequited love at its finest.

I closed my eyes and thought of Sakura.

SAKURA’S POV

I knocked on the door to Jin’s house, butterflies kicking up a storm in my stomach. I adjusted my clothes nervously, remembering that Jin had always hated these tights.

The maid answered the door, giving me a disapproving once-over before ushering me inside.

“Mr. Kim is upstairs.” She instructed me in her dry, nasally voice. She’d never liked me; she’d witnessed too many passionate fights between me and Jin.

I never liked myself in those moments, either.

Jin was sitting at his desk when I walked in, spectacles perched on his nose. He smiled as I came and stood in front of his desk, feeling like a student about to get scolded by the principal. I’d been in that position many a time, especially after my parents transferred me to a strict Catholic school my sophomore year.

Jin and I used to sneak out of our big houses at night and prowl the streets of New York, taking the subway to Brooklyn to smoke hookah and drink with our friends.

Jin used to have fun with me before he took over his father’s company. After that I started to feel like we were slowly morphing into our parents.

After that, I felt like I had to leave him.

“Sakura.” Jin waved a hand in front of my face, jerking me out of my memories.

“Hmm?” I looked up, meeting his big brown eyes. He had always been so pretty.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked me, smiling.

“When we were young.” I answered wistfully. When we loved each other but never said a word.

“We’re still young.” He capped his pen and came over next to me, taking my hand. “Come on, I have something to show you.”

I followed him silently, heart beating in trepidation. A surprise from Jin was never a good thing.

He led me down the hallway and into a room I hadn’t been in since I was a child. It was the nursery, left unused for many years. Jin and I used to play house in there sometimes. We’d bake cookies with the nanny and then devour them up here in secret when we were supposed to be napping.

“Take a look.” Jin urged, gently pushing me inside.

I glanced around, observing all the changes as Jin watched me proudly.

“You painted.” I blinked, wondering why he’d brought me in here. “I like the yellow. And the little bear wallpaper. It’s cute.”

“What about the stuffed animals?” Jin pointed out to me, practically bouncing over to them. I hadn’t seem him this excited in a long time.

“Cute.” I agreed, patting the head of a large stuffed bear. “Why did you do all this?”

Jin walked over to me and enveloped me in a warm hug. His breath tickled my neck and I felt myself melting into him.

“I just want to make this place a home for you. I want you to know that I’m going to be here for you, always. You and any children that we have. We won’t turn into our parents.” He pulled away to look at me, tucking my hair behind my ear. He leaned in and kissed my forehead, causing my cheeks to heat up. “I won’t let you be lonely anymore.”

When I didn’t respond, Jin cupped my face in his hands, pulling me closer to him for a kiss.

“I love you.” He whispered. He continued to kiss me and I let him.

His kisses were familiar and warm. So different from Jimin’s, but something I had grown up with. Jin and I had been kissing each other for nine years, sleeping with each other for seven, and dating for three.

Jin had been my entire life.

“I love you.” He repeated, pressing his thumbs into my cheeks. “Sakura, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Raising our children in this house where we grew up. We’re perfect for each other, darling. Please, come back to me.”

Jin trailed kisses down my body, slowly undressing me. I let him, too overwhelmed and confused to push him away. When he pushed me down to the floor and laid on top of me, I let him.

Jimin flashed through my mind as we made love. I found myself wishing that I’d stayed in his warm bed and warm embrace. Wishing I’d let him shower me in kisses and compliments.

Wishing I didn’t feel so empty inside, drained of all the love I wish I could have given Jimin.

I’d given everything to Jin and had so little to show for it.

Empty promises and empty praise.

“I love you, Sakura.” Jin whispered in my ear. “I love you so much.”

He didn’t notice the tears sliding down my face as he turned my face to kiss me.

For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t sure if I could say it back to him.