I know what you must be thinking...

I'm not dumb. I have several papers and tests to prove that I am not.
What I am, is a man too much in love for his own good to let such an opportunity pass him by. Don't I deserve even just a little happiness before my doom?

Don't I?

-

"Here."

I was awoken by Chanyeol's deep, raspy voice and opened my eyes to an item held out towards my face.

"I brought your journal."

"Thanks... It's 06 AM. Afraid I'd die of a if you waited until a more human hour to hand it over?"

"Something like that."

"Aah, Chanyeol. Ever the optimist."

I took the journal and put it on my bedside table wanting nothing but to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, Chanyeol wouldn't let me.

"... Aren't you going to read it?"

"Why?"

"Isn't that why you needed it?"

"Yeah. A journal? That's kind of a private affair."

"...And?"

 "Aaand~ No. I am not reading or writing, for that matter, in this thing with you present."

"It's mine."

"Your what?"

"It's my journal... A long time ago,  I said we should exchange journals on our deathbed and seeing as this is yours, sort of, why don't we exchange them now?"

The big goofball then proceeded to pull out another journal and my heart stopped for a second to make way for a cold-sweat, fear and a slight stomachache.

"We can't!"

"Of course we can."

"No! ... You're not dying!"

"Aah! But due to a very 'focal' technicality, I'd say now is as good a time as ever to exchange journals, unless of course you want me to stab myself repeatedly and bleed half to death first.I just can't emphasize enough that I am definitely not a fan of that particular idea. Just saying."

I got to admit... I actually did consider Chanyeol's proposition for a second. Dying together. Wouldn't that be romantic?

... Didn't think so.

"I thought you had forgotten about this..."

"...O-of course not. So what do you say? Shall we?"

I guessed it couldn't hurt. Reluctantly, I turned to retrieve the journal on the table and while taking a deep breath as to prepare myself for what was to come, I opened it.

And nothing.

Nothing was written.

Every page I turned was blank and I couldn't help but feel disappointed. At least the entire thing wasn't a tribute to... Kyungsoo.

"You didn't write anything."

"I didn't? Huh."

"Huh? Then what's the point?"

"The point? Hmm... Why don't you turn to the last page?"

"Yah Chanyeol! If this is some kind of joke to you..."

"Turn the page, Baek."

I shot my friend a sour look but the expression on Chanyeol's face told me he was being serious for once. I didn't expect anything though.
I was pleasantly surprised.

'Some clever, long-bearded person, probably, once said that you don't know how much you care about something until it's gone. I thought that was stupid because how could one not know that? Turns out... The guy was right. And I? I didn't know how much I cared until I stood to lose it. Till I stood to lose... You.
I have always loved you as my best friend. But perhaps... I now realize that I love you even beyond that. That I have been in love with you since the first time you ever so heartlessly rejected me.
If you will, I would like to fill this journal with memories of you. Of us. Together.
Because I love you. More than I ever knew I could love anyone.
I'm just sorry it took me such a long time to realize...

I want to spend whatever time we have left with each other. With no regrets. Allow me to take care of you. Allow me... to be yours.'

"Chanyeol..."

"I'm yours, Baekie. Just say the word and I'm yours."

A masked pain was hidden beneath those words, even I, in my overwhelmed state could hear that, see it in his eyes. I didn't care.
It was selfish of me... I didn't care.

"Be mine... Chanyeol."

The smile that greeted  me was a strange one. I pushed it aside as Chanyeol, the man I had loved for so long, slowly leaned in to press our lips together in a cautious kiss.
It was all I ever wanted. All I ever dreamed. Yet it's taste was bittersweet on my tongue, mixed in with the tears I couldn't stop from falling.

-

         
"Almost there. Yah! No peeking, Baek!"

Blindfolded, I was lead by a very enthusiastic Chanyeol into, well, I had no idea at the time. What I did know, was that it was almost midnight and I had been up since 5 AM to go to the hospital for tests and different check-ups in the morning. I was bombed and more than ready to hit the sack.

"Chanyeol, if you don't let me sleep, right now, I will shave off your eyebrows in your sleep and just when they are about to grow back, I'll shave them off again! It'll be a never-ending cycle of no eyebrows and you'll look absolutely ridiculous!"

"Wow, someone's grumpy-wumpy. Okay. You can take it off~... Now."

"Finally! Park Chanyeol what's..."

As you can imagine, something left me quite speechless. For some reason I was standing in a strange apartment, generously decorated with picture upon picture of Chanyeol and I since we were kids and till present day.

"What kind of make-believe fairytale creature threw up in here?"      

"What do you mean? You don't like it?"

"Well... Everything's pink? Why's everything pink?"

"Because a princess need's it pink."

Chanyeol did that y smirk that borderlined creepy but was absolutely to die for. That's why I couldn't make myself hate him for calling me a princess, no matter how much it made me cringe. I still didn't understand what was going on though when Chanyeol came to stand behind me, kissed the back of my head and held me close.

"This is our new home, Baek. Anything you don't like, I'll change."

I had a lump in my throat at Chanyeol's words. He had already done so much for me and now this. His kindness, all just piled up somewhere inside myself and it made me resent myself for letting him do this. It's just... The desire of having him for myself, for calling him mine overshadowed everything else. So I turned around and let myself be held tight. I pressed my head against his chest while enjoying the way it expanded and the steady beating of his gentle heart.

"I love it. Don't change a thing."

"Are you sure?"

"A princess needs it pink. Right?"

The vibration from Chanyeol's low chuckle tickled my ear. Slowly, I began moving my feet from side to side, swaying my entire body as I started to hum an unknown melody.

"Baekie..."

"Yes?"

"Didn't you say you wanted to sleep? Because I really don't want to lose my eyebrows. I can pull off a lot of things but no eyebrows..."

"Shh... Your eyebrows are safe. Let's just dance for now."

And we did.

And somehow I couldn't help but hope to myself...

'Have I finally replaced Kyungsoo in your heart?' 

A/N 
I am in a slump.
I sit and stare at the screen and nothing... Nothing comes to mind even though I really want to write something and even when it's there at the tip of my tongue it just won't come down on paper. This was a pain in the to write and I'm not completely satisfied with the chapter but I just really needed to move on from this so sorry if it's bad. :/