Hey^^ here is your review ready for pick up:) feel free for a re-do! thanks^^

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Story Title : Cry For Me
Author : ilamby
Fiction's URL : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/141740/cry-for-me-onsehot-angst-hyunseung-junhyung-junseung-myungsoo-supernatural
Reviewer : someone @ asianfanfics
Thread : helping friends
Chapter : one-shot (completed)

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1.Title [4 / 5 pts.]
Simple but not exactly eye-catching. It fits the story well, neatly organized and have a specific formation. Side notes, it would attract those angst-readers out there for sure. ( -1 )

2.Poster / Graphics / Background [3/ 5 pts.]
The poster is neat and creatively created. Relates the story well, but I think it would fit perfectly well with darker shade of colour, like black, grey or dark blue. You should try to put a suitable background, thus it would boost your points later on. ( -2 )

3.Foreword / Description [9 / 10 pts.]
The description revealed an overview of the protoganist's brief thought. It gives out mysterious vibe to the readers and it'll surely make readers read the story more. Though I think the readers who don't read this genre would want to read further. Make it more interesting for them to read this genre. The foreword give the readers the genre of the stoy. It gives out your inspiration and tell the readers some steps that might help them set the mood needed to read this story more better. ( - 1 )

4.Plot [25 / 30 pts.]
A fantasy fiction that relates to our reality world well. Make sense in one way, understandable and well described. Very original as you only took the song and maybe the MV as an inspiration, not re-written or written on your point of view or understanding of the song or MV. An unexpeted twist in the end. ( -5 )

5.Flow [4 / 5 pts.]
Well written and could be followed. Nothing was rushed and neatly organized. ( -1 )

6.Characterization [5 / 5 pts.]
You can describe the character in the foreword / description but I think it is not needed. You describe the character well with the flow of the story and the readers could easily understand their characters. ( -0 )

7.Grammar / Spelling [15 / 20 pts.]
Some minor grammar mistakes. Always keep your grammars in check as one day if you miss them, you'll repeat it again. Try asking some of your friends to help you with these. Here are some examples or mistakes that I found :

a) He was trapped in this small room with no even a bit of light. ( Correction : replace 'no' with 'not' ).
b) Avoid starting a sentence with the word 'but' and the word 'and'.
c) Only this pitiful scene he saw. ( Correction : add 'was what' before the phrase 'he saw' ).

Most of your errors are starting a sentence with a connective phrase. Connective phrase, such as 'but,and, or', cannot be used to start a sentence. Some of your sentence seems incomplete, like example C. Please take notice of these errors. I would advise you to edit or proof read the story. ( -5 )

8.Overall enjoyment / Entertainment [18 / 20 pts.]
I enjoyed reading this story as I enjoy reading this kind of genre. Nice story with a nice flow. Neatly organized and easy to read. ( -2 )

Total : [ 83 / 100 ]