Went From Hell To Heaven And Landed On Earth...

By:  DeadBlossom 

1. Title: [5/5 pts.]

I like your title.. it realy got my attention.. good job!

2. Poster/Graphics/Background: [0/5 pts.]

sorry.. but you dont have one.. a poster can really help you attract alot of readers.. especially if the poster blends with the story... so hope that you'll have one in the future 

3. Foreword/Description [6/10 pts.]

well it helps alot that you said what they can get on chapter 6.. but your foreword is kinda complicated.. i dont know if which part should I expect or look forward to the story.. the part where it has a love story or the family part.. or the misfortune... sorry

4. Plot [15/30 pts]

kinda bores me.. sorry.. its ok to put some POV but i hope you put some dialoges too.. i like your story... but i dont have any idea who said the narration, who is the main character or who is involved/ closer to the main character.. please do put whose POV at the beginning so that the readers wont hava any confusion... as to your grammar.. there were a few mistakes.. please do read it again and change it.. because it will really affect the readers opinion or the outlook of the story.. for example: 

,I don’t remember who I us dies

there are also few.. just try to edit them..  :)

5. Flow [2/5 pts.]

well... the flow is good, but as I said, I dont have any idea who said it.. so its kinda useless.. you can mislead your readers too...

6. Characterization [5/5 pts.]

you really put the time to portray the character and the traits... XD

7. Grammar/Spelling [15/20 pts.]

there were few.. but not really major deal... but some of the errors made me think twice and read it again so that I could understand what the main character is saying..

8. Overall Enjoyment/Entertainment [15/20 pts.]

as I said... your story is good... just needs a little improvement.. :D

Total:  [48/100]

sorry if its kinda low... but I hope you'll use the tips to improve your story well and add a poster and a background so that it will help your story look impressive.. XD 

Happy new year!!

STORY