Nobody but him (sophiexoxo)
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Story Title: Nobody but him
Author: sophiexoxo
Work of Fiction URL- http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/113398/
Reviewer: JonghyunJessica @ AsianFanfics
Thread: helping friends
Chapters: 10 [Ongoing]
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1. Title: [3/5 pts.]
The title is relevant, catches the readers eye and attention but it would be neater for the reader's first impression to see that it is organized in an orderly fashion and have a specific format. It might be good if it was stated as, "Nobody but Him" or "Nobody But Him". I suggest the first way. (-2)
2. Poster/Graphics/Background: [1/5 pts.]
The poster relates to the story but the poster isn't much of a eye catching graphic. It also doesn't give the reader much of a good impression. The background is also not that great and it isn't related except for the character, Key. As for the main poster you could've requested at a shop or you could've done one yourself but with artistic effects and some effort (doesn't have to be like a pro but more of something that is creative). Usually if you request at a shop, it would take up to at most 1 month for them to complete it. Another thing I would like you to notice is, you could use a fancy font and decent font size. (-4)
3. Foreword/Description [6/10 pts.]
Your description stated the exposition of the story plot and a breif summary was written. As for your foreword, it was like a mini preview. It captures a reader's attention and gives them a good impression before reading the story. Try not to use a font size over size 18. Using a big font makes a person lose their interest. (-4)
4. Plot [21/30 pts]
Original. Realistic in it's own way. Have their own feel and twist. Makes sense. (-9)
5. Flow [3/5 pts.]
The flow of this story is nice. It's not too slow and not too fast. (-2)
6. Characterization [2/5 pts.]
You can explain the character's role for the main characters only in the foreword or description. It would be directly stated for the reader and easier to understand to them. You have pictures of Key and the girl so that area of was fine. (-3)
7. Grammar/Spelling [10/20 pts.]
Wrong: Ever since that moment they don't get along and when they are together in the same place, fights and argues start.
Correct: Ever since that day, they don't get along well and when they are together in the same place, fights and argues start to occur.
Wrong: Selena is ready to move on and now she has a boyfriend - Seth- and everything will be okay, right?
Correct: Selena is ready to move on and now she has a boyfriend, Seth. Everything will be okay, right?
Wrong: But what will she do when Key starts to change and starts to act weirder? She's used to him beeing bipolar, but this is too much. (-10)
8. Overall Enjoyment/Entertainment [11/20 pts.]
Nice story and interesting fun and entertaining story. (-9)
Total: [57/100]
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