Our Complicated Heart

by: desiree

1. Title [2/5 pts.]

In my opinion, this kind of title is really unoriginal. Why? Because it has been used for almost hundreds times and I have seen countless of titles with the word 'Heart' or 'Complicated'. Still, after reading your story, I realized it was really related to it.

2. Poster/Graphics/Background [3/5 pts.]

To be honest, I think your poster is not eye-catching at all; there are too many pictures in it, so it looks messy and also, the quality of some pictures is not so good. However, I do love your background, it looks really nice.

3. Foreword/Description [2/10 pts.]

Actually, about the description part, I notice that some authors are confused about it. You know the description part is not a place where you should write author's note, you should write the neither-too-long-nor-too-short paragraph about what your story will be about instead. Also, I found nothing interesting in the foreword, it just showed that the main characters hate each other and all. You should have at least left cliffhanger or written about some important or interesting scenes, so that the readers would get interested in your story and continue reading it.

4. Plot [10/30 pts.]

Of course, this is not so original plot in fiction world. First, a boy hates a girl and slowly, they start to develop feeling for each other. However, at that time, there is suddenly other guy or girl comes to separate them and such. Therefore, please try to be more creative. The twists in your story were interesting, though.

5. Flow [1/5 pts.]

The flow was too fast, just reading it made me feel dizzy. Please try to slow down a bit and describe things more.

6. Characterization [3/5 pts.]

I think in some chapters, you were writing way too rush, so your characters were not described or portrayed well. It would be better if you described the characters' emotion more.

7. Grammar/Spelling [5/20 pts.]

I am so sorry to tell you this, but your grammar and spelling were not so good at all. For example, in chapter one, there were grammar mistakes everywhere. Anyway, I will list some major problems.

-When thing has already happened, you have to use past tense.

-In a sentence, it should not be mixed with both present and past tense.

-If you want to use contraction, don't forget to put apostrophe. For example, do not=don't, she is=she's etc.

-In present simple, for third person singular (He, she, it), you have to add s/es/ies to the verb. For example, he cries everyday.

-If you want to write the name of something or someone, you have to capitalize the first letter. For instance, Korea, Taeyang, Philippine...

-You have to put spaces after commas and full stops.

Actually, there are more. but I noticed that you got the most problem with everything I have listed above. In addition, for spelling mistakes, I highly recommend you to ask someone who is fluent in English to beta your story.

8. Overall Enjoyment/Entertainment [6/20 pts.]

I did not enjoy reading your story that much because of those grammar and spelling mistakes, they gave me headache. Also, your plot is predictable, so it might bore the readers.

Total: [32/100]

Even though you have got the low score, don't be discouraged with it! Try to correct those mistakes and I believe you'll improve! I am also sorry if I sounded too harsh or anything, but I was trying my very best to help you. I did not mean to offend you, I hope you understand that.

Anyway, please don't forget to credit us!

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