아무도 몰래 사랑하는게, 니가 정말 내 여자라는게.
( Secretly loving someone, the fact that you're really mine. )

While everyone returned to the villa to prepare for the night, the amount of people who asked Saemi and Mark how they felt about spending the night with each other was more than enough. There was just that many; it was impossible to count. The typical suggestive questions of "Do you think something will happen tonight?" and the more dramatic, disappointed response when the two of them would reject the idea could basically be summarized with, "Where is the progress? This is regression!"

Saemi quickly pulled herself away from the crowd of her classmates and made her way into one of the bathrooms. Judging by her personality, her actions were not surprising. She doesn't like being in the center of attention like Mark is. She doesn't like being questioned all the time.

So when she left the scene, she quickly ends up submerging herself into the warm water, taking in the quiet and the peace. Slowly, she glances at her hands. Recalling how she had taken Mark's hands earlier, she quickly found herself smiling to herself.

What a strange feeling it was.

She never realized how big Mark's hands are. She never took the time to pick up on the little things: little things like how her hands fit so perfectly into his or how comfortable she felt when she speaks with him. It was almost as if, for a split second, she felt like he was someone who could protect her for the rest of her life.

However, upon realizing what she was thinking about, she quickly snaps out of it. She reminds herself that he is only doing these things because he is her fake boyfriend, and if he doesn't act this way, then they would be found out.

There are some things that are meant to be, and there are some things that are not; needless to say, Mark Tuan was not one of those things that are supposed to be.

She knows that all of these are facts, so why does she still feel so uneasy, so unsure of herself?

***

When Mark finally returns to the bedroom after taking a shower, he notices that Saemi had already fallen asleep on her side of the bed. Her calm and relaxed expression puts him at ease. Gently placing the moist towel hung around his neck down on the table, he makes his way to her side.

A part of him wishes that this moment could last forever, but another part of him tells him that it is impossible.

Before he realizes it, he has picked up one of the pillows from his side of the bed. All he has to do is to use this pillow and suffocate her. All he has to do is hold that pillow against her face for a few minutes until she stops kicking. If he can do that, then he can throw her out, down the mountain. The world would be rid of a liar, and he would be rid of a nuisance.

His grip on the pillow tightens, but his hands will not move. He keeps telling himself that his plan is flawless, and it really quite is. If he just suffocates her and take her out to who-knows-where, then there would be no witness to trace the killing back to him.

All he has to do is to borrow some of the white kerosene which he had seen when he had passed by the art room earlier when he headed to the bathroom to shower. The white kerosene would ensure that no fingerprints were left behind. If there were no fingerprints, there would be no DNA evidence. If he just tosses her down the cliff, then it might even look like she slipped and fell when she was being chased by an unknown stranger. He could be the witness to ensure that to be true. She did have trouble walking in the dark earlier when they headed to the open field to star-gaze, and if that was the case, then the culprit could be anyone, anyone except Mark that is.

Mark is too perfect to commit murder.

While he has all of these reasons that allow for him to take Saemi's life and get away with it, there was one problem. Every time he imagines taking her life, his heart aches.

He remembers every memory that involves her. He not only remembers how she lied about her identity, but also how she would secretly agree with his own personal thoughts. He would then remember all those smiles and laughter that she showed him, and how these small actions caused him to re-think the accuracy of his ability. He remembers how lonely she really is, but how she tries to be strong in front of him.

His hands begin to lower, and he finds himself unable to move. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't stop recalling how happy excited she was when she finally got a 100 on her test, and how she pretends to be confident in herself. She easily shared her joy with him as if she completely trusted him. While she did lie about everything about herself, there were a lot of genuine feelings expressed through the lies that he saw through.

Before he notices, he had already dropped the pillow.

He knows that he cannot go through with this plan anymore.

***

The following morning, Mark awakes to an empty room. Although he doesn't remember when he actually fell asleep and if he ever actually made it into the bed, he does remember his failed attempt to take Saemi's life last night. However, the fact that Park Saemi was not by his side causes him to panic.

All sorts of unpleasant thoughts raced through his mind in a very short period of time: Did she leave during the night? Was she actually awake when he tried to kill her? What if something happened to her?

But even as he worries, the fact does not change: Park Saemi is no longer here.

Falling back into bed, he closes his eyes, "Whatever happens, it has nothing to do with me. It doesn't matter. It's only Park Saemi after all. Who is she to make me feel this way? I already gave her a second life. What more can I do for her?"

However, the more he kept trying to convince himself, the more nervous he seemed to get, and he doesn't understand why. He should be happy, thrilled even. The one thing that annoyed him was gone. Shouldn't he be rejoicing?

"Mark?" a voice suddenly broke the silence. There, at the doorway, stood Park Saemi, completely un-hurt, "Are you awake?"

Immediately after hearing her voice, he sits up to face her. He finds it hard to believe that such a girl did not leave him yet, but he feels more relieved than anything. She wasn't hurt in any way.

"I think we're going to be leaving soon," she continues to speak, with that same smile upon her face, "The teacher is already telling all of us to pack up. Breakfast is downstairs. Everyone is already up, so you shouldn't fall behind either."

Saemi continues to talk, but Mark had already stopped listening. He finds it hard to take his eyes off of her. He doesn't know how to react to her presence since he did try to end her life less than twenty-four hours ago. When she finally stops talking, she gives Mark a strange look. She knows that everything she had said went in through one ear and out the other.

"Are you listening to me?" she raises an eyebrow, "Are you sick? You seem very... unfocused."

Lie.

Mark does not reply. Instead, he smiles. Knowing that she had just spoken a lie, he knows that she can tell that he has given her all his attention. In the long silence, Mark couldn't help but feel the awkwardness filling the air, something that has never happened before. He doesn't know what has come over him, and he doesn't know what has come over her, but he knows that there is something different about this morning. Of course, he didn't mind.

It felt like a good sort of different, but even then, there was one question that bothers him. He was staring into her gaze, and she was staring back into his gaze. Wordless, everything seemed to be at a stand-still: everything except one thing.

Just who's racing heartbeat does this belong to?

Secretly loving someone, the fact that your life is really mine.