Tik. 첨부터 알았어 난.
( Tik. I knew from the start. )

Saemi was the first of the two to wake up the next day. Upon picking herself from bed, she didn't know how to act in front of him. She did, a few hours ago, just try to kill the boy who she slept next to, and even if she didn't want to admit it, there was definitely guilt among the emotions she was feeling. To ease herself from all the strange feelings, she hurries to make herself presentable and leaves for the kitchen.

She just wants to make herself occupied, so she doesn't have to think about Mark anymore. She quickly finds herself helping the others prepare for breakfast, slicing the different vegetables and meats. Taking the knife in her hand, she figures that she can see if there was something truly wrong with her. In a brief second, she begins to convince herself that the foods she has to cut were actually Mark.

It might've seemed silly to everyone else who could read her mind, but she needed that confirmation. If she couldn't do something as trivial as this, then that would mean that there was literally no hope for her to finish the mission given to her. Kim Hana doesn't know failure.

However, as soon as she raises her hand to slice the foods, she finds herself stopping abruptly. Her hand wouldn't move, her arm wouldn't lower, and she could not cut. She couldn't cut through a representation of Mark Tuan. Her eyes widened in shock as she drops the knife down onto the counter.

How did Mark manage to break her?

Being an assassin was what made her her. If you took that identity away from her, then who is she? It was all she ever knew, and now, she has never felt more lost. All this time, what was she doing? Did she really give up everything for Mark? She knows that at some point, she has to leave him behind, and she has to return to the reality that she lives. When that happens, what would she do without him? She has no answer.

Slowly she makes her way back to the bedroom. With her hand on the doorknob, she has to keep her mind clear. If she doesn't, then all her emotions would go haywire, and Mark would, for sure, become suspicious and perhaps hate her for all the secrets she has kept in the time that they have spent together. Taking a deep breath, she enters the room, "Mark? Are you awake?"

Like she expects, Mark sits upright in the bed, his eyes immediately falling on her. From what she can tell, the boy seemed to be as confused, dazed, and worried as she was, except she didn't have a clear reason why he would feel such a way.

"I think we're going to be leaving soon. The teacher is already telling all of us to pack up. Breakfast is downstairs. Everyone is already up, so you shouldn't fall behind either," she continues to speak slowly, watching his every behavior but not failing to let the smile on her expression falter. However, it doesn't take long for her to realize that he wasn't truly listening to her words but more so watching her extremely closely, "...Are you listening to me? Are you sick? You seem very... unfocused."

However, Saemi isn't sure if he's the one that is acting unfocused or if he's too focused. She knows that he is already extremely watching her closely, so why is he not responding to anything that she is saying? She doesn't understand what is going on with him, though it's not like she ever did.

The boy just smiles, and the silence ensues. With the girl looking at the boy and the boy looking at the girl, it seemed like time had finally stopped for the two of them. Saemi couldn't deny that she hated the feeling of being watched by Mark. In fact, she actually feels nervous when he lays his eyes on her because she is afraid that he would be able to see through her mask.

But even then, she couldn't tell if the racing heartbeat she hears belongs to herself or to Mark.

***

A loud slam was heard throughout the classroom as Mark approached Saemi's desk, "What did the teacher mean by you're leaving? This better be some sick joke that you're playing, Park Saemi, and it better end now."

While everything had seemed fine when everyone had left the villa, Saemi had already knew that if she stays with Mark any longer, it would only hurt both of them even more. Park Saemi did not even exist, and if she continued to stay as a high school student, then she might end up truly falling for Mark. If that happened, then trouble would surely follow. It is fate that Park Saemi and Mark Tuan are not meant to be.

She knows that Mark is furious by her actions, but there is nothing she can do to stop everything now. This is the consequence of getting too attached to the target. Quietly, she begins to collect her items, unable to look into Mark's eyes. However, her unreponsive behavior only angers Mark some more, and she almost jumps when he kicks her desk with full force, slamming it straight into the wall, "PARK SAEMI."

His hands flew to her shoulders, pull her in front of him, so she would have to face him, but the moment their eyes met, countless undeciphered emotions rushed through both of their hearts. He looks confused, and she looks troubled, and neither of them knew why.

"Explain it to me," he continues to say, though it was softer this time.

Saemi doesn't know how to reply. She couldn't reply. What is she supposed to say? Is she supposed to say that she is leaving because it is her mission to come kill him, but because she has grown to become fond of him, she can't, so she's leaving due to failure? Is she supposed to tell him that she lied about her identity, and everything he knows about her is fabricated in order to get close to him? Of course she can't tell him a single thing, so instead, she avoids the explanation and sticks to her emotions.

"I'm sorry," is all she could say.

The moment those words were spoken, she could see Mark beginning to struggle. It is as if he wanted some other reply from her, a reply that she couldn't give him. She really wants to make him happy, and she really wants to stay with him like the past week or two were like. She doesn't want things to change, but she knows that her wishes are impossible to fulfill.

She must return to her father's side and accept the punishment for failing to bring news of Mark's death. While she felt apologetic towards Mark's father since he had lost his wife because of his son, she couldn't put all the blame on Mark anymore. Yes, Mark's actions are different from other people, but it is also possible that it's because of his lack of guardians from his childhood. The one time he decides to open up to his mother, she runs away from him, getting herself killed. Even if Mark did say something unbelievable as I can tell if you're lying to me or not.

However, Saemi could understand the fear his mother had because she did also just receive the news that her son was a psychopath. Put two crazy ideas together, and a person just might do something as outrageous as Mark's mother. Saemi couldn't blame Mark's father either. It must've been hard to lose both people that were in his immediate family. Saemi doesn't blame anyone for that whole incident. Everything involved was just wrong and horribly-timed, just like how her encounter with Mark is.

"...Please don't go," Mark pleads her to stay, and Saemi finds her heart aching. She really wants to stay, and she really wants to be fully honest with him. She's scared of walking out of his life and having him forget her completely, but at the same time, she feels like it would be for the best. If the both of them could pretend everything never happened, that would be most ideal.

A soft whisper escapes from her parted lips, and Mark feels his whole world coming to a stop, "I have to leave. I can't stay here. I can't stay with you."

"How do you expect me to believe this now?" he begins once more, leaving Saemi with only feelings of sorrow, "How can you cold-heartedly leave me behind when I just found out how I truly feel about you? How could you, Park Saemi?"

Immediately, her eyes grows wide in shock. Did he just indirectly confess to her? What did he mean by how [he] truly feels about [me]? Saemi didn't understand, or rather, she didn't want to understand. If he truly admits that he loves her, then it would kill her to leave him. She has learned so much from him, and it let her improve on her flaws. She learned that she needed to do what she wants, and she needed to be herself. She learned that she has to think for herself sometimes, and that it is okay to be a bit selfish. Before she realizes it, she had begun to cry.

"Promise me something," he finally breathes, seeing that his words were beginning to bring tears to Saemi's eyes, "Just one thing. Promise me that you'll live a life that is more joyful than the one that I have given you here. Promise me that you won't cry anymore. ...I'll find a way to be okay with just that."

"...Why would you do something like that for me? Don't you hate me for doing something like this? How could you still think about me in the end? Mark, what are you doing?" Saemi immediately counters him, wiping her tears away from her cheeks.

She doesn't understand him, and why he is suddenly so considerate for her. Her heart was all confused now, and she has no idea what she should be thinking. If only she left earlier. If only she killed Mark right from the start. If only she didn't let him get close to her heart. If only she didn't fall in love with him. If only things never changed. If only she never accepted this mission, everything would be fine.

"It's because I love you."

She couldn't believe her ears as Mark spoke those words, but she couldn't erase that feeling of pain in the pits of her stomach. He tells her he loves her, but she knows that all of this was just ridiculous. Everything was extremely horribly-timed, so horribly-timed that it seemed like fate was playing a cruel joke on her. She doesn't want to feel so heart-broken anymore.

A sad smile appears on her lips, "Thank you for loving me, Mark. I'm sorry I can't return your feelings."

Immediately as those words were spoken, Saemi walks past him, leaving him behind. His confession is enough for her, and she will always cherish that love that never blossomed. The moment felt like a dream, but also a nightmare. She wishes that she had the courage to tell him that she loves him too, but she knows that would be the wrong thing to do.

She can never be his number one.

Tik. I forgot from the start.