The Failure

A Love to Kill For

너 아닌 누구도 들어올 자린 없는걸 내 가슴에.
( There's no room for anyone else but you in my heart. )

Saemi really hopes that she was successful in disregarding her abnormal behavior from earlier, and by watching Mark's behavior, she feels somewhat satisfied. At least he did not continue to push her for the truth. She is afraid that she has already let Mark too close to her heart. If she feels the single ounce of emotion towards him, then she would be guaranteed to fail at her mission; she can't kill someone she sympathizes with.

"Park Saemi," Mark begins to say, but Saemi immediately redirects his attention.

Not taking any chances, she raises her hand, pointing to the stars that they had come here to see, "Mark, can you see the lghts?"

To make the situation seem more normal and less tense, Saemi smiles at him lovingly like any girlfriend would. They were in front of all the other students, so the show must go on, regardless of how she truly feels and thinks about the whole situation. Within a second, she finds herself pulling his arm, leading him to the middle of the open field. Taking his hand, they lie down together in the grassy meadow.

"I've never seen so many stars before in my life," Saemi begins to say, "Actually, I've never actually experienced so many things like i have these few weeks that I've transferred to JG High. I mean, I've had some friends and such before, but I've never really had a friend quite like you. Without you, I probably would've continued to think that keeping to myself was easier and better. I suppose what I really want to say is thank you."

What really surprises her is that the moment she began to ramble on about how grateful she is to Mark, she finds it all very contradicting. All the new emotions she had grown to feel were all because of Mark, and those feelings did shine through her words. However, all the content of what she said were not necessarily true.

Yes, she did learn a lot from Mark, but not all of them were necessarily good. She did experience many things with him, but because of who she is, she can never truly be honest with him. Keeping to herself was always the correct choice, even if it would be the basis of a shaky relationship.

Why were all her missions to kill before so easy and natural? It's like everything has changed without her realizing it. Why couldn't things stay the same? She wants everything to remain the same forever, so she doesn't have to sort through all of these complicated feelings.

If she told Mark that the purpose of coming to JG High was because his father wanted him to die, would he be afraid of her? Would a psychopath be capable of fear or would he just take her life on the spot? Would there be any hesitation? She wants to ask him all of this and see his response, and she wants to be disappointed by it. She wants him to change for the worse, so she could take his life more easily. She needs him to confirm that he is truly a psychopath, so she doesn't grow softer on him than she already has.

She knows that she has to keep on restraining herself from talking about her true feelings because if she doesn't, then her mission would be ruined. So why was it when he expresses concern for her, nothing seemed to matter anymore?

***

Upon returning to the villa, Saemi finds herself being questioned by many of her classmates about what would happen that night. However, she knows that there isn't going to be any development; she wasn't committed to Mark Tuan in such a manner. But even so, the questions made her uneasy and tired. As a result, she flees the scene to take a well-deserved bath.

Mark, on the other hand, makes his way back to their bedroom, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. A soft sigh escapes his lips as he glances at his hands, recalling earlier when Saemi had took initiative to hold hands with him. He doesn't understand how Saemi's hand could fit into his so perfectly.

He remembers how she would look into his eyes and smile so genuinely at him, and before he realizes, he catches himself unable to hold back a smile. It was strange. She wasn't even physically there, but he could just feel her expressions.

Does this happen to everyone?

He never realized how much Saemi could make him feel so happy. He never realized how much he notices her every action, her every movement. He finds it hard to believe that he actually feels comfortable in front of her, and it confused him as to why she was acting so strangely earlier before. He wonders if she is hiding some dark past, and for a split second, he realizes that he wants to protect her for the rest of his life.

Of course, as soon as he becomes aware of where his thoughts have taken him, he quickly snaps out of it. He reminds himself that everything he is doing is because she is his fake girlfriend, and the whole relationship was because he is trying to find out her weaknesses.

There are some things that are meant to be, and there are some things that are not; needless to say, Park Saemi was not one of those things that are supposed to be.

He knows that all of these are facts, so why does he want to chase after her and keep her by his side forever?

***

Saemi had returned to the bedroom right after Mark had left to take a shower; the two of them missed each other by seconds. Having many thoughts on her mind, she had easily fallen asleep before the boy had returned, not that it mattered since she did not actually want to face him either. When her eyes fluttered open around 3:00 AM, she finds Mark Tuan sleeping soundly beside her.

He had fallen asleep on his side, facing her. From what she could tell, it seemed like the boy had watched her sleep for a period of time before he passed out, but she convinced herself otherwise.

To her knowledge, Mark isn't the type of person to do such things.

Quietly, she slips out of the bed and finds here vacation bag. Digging deep into the contents, she pulls out what seems to be a tube of lipstick. As she pulls the lid off, a small pill pops out into the palm of her hand. It was a drug that her father had given to her as a gift for her past birthday: a single pill that would kill the user and leave no evidence of it's existence within an hour.

She knows that if she gets Mark to swallow this in his sleep, he would die within seconds. She could, hypothetically, crush his trachea enough with one blow to the neck (of course, wearing gloves), and the others would be able to easily conclude that Mark and died due to suffocation. If she leaves his body outside, then they would suspect that he tripped and fell in such a manner that the suffocation was a complete accident. It's not like people would suspect her even if they find her DNA on him since every single student saw that they were all over each other earlier. All she has to do is to place the drug into his mouth. If she can just do that, then the world would be safe from a single psychopath, and she would have fulfilled everyone's expectation of her.

Slowly, she moves the pill closer to Mark, though not by much. Watching the boy peacefully sleep in front of her, she finds herself shaking noticeably. She keeps telling herself that her plan is completely perfect and that no one would be able to blame her for killing Mark. She keeps tell herself this, but her heart keeps thumping wildly against her chest.

She has never been so nervous to take anyone's life before. She doesn't understand why she can't get the image of Mark's smile out of her mind, and she can't stop herself from thinking about all the times he's expressed concern for her. She finds herself unable to rid herself of the feeling of comfort Mark gives her, and before she knows it, she drops the pill onto the ground.

She realizes that she cannot kill Mark Tuan.

There's no room for anything else, but disappointment in my heart.

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Comments

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wonderdream #1
Chapter 1: This is amazing. It catches my interest immediately:)
UnbreakableRose #2
Chapter 20: OMFG! TJIS WAS AMAZINGGGGG
Error_For_Eternity
#3
Chapter 21: This is a really good story!!!
And you know I cried x'D
Good job author-nim and I'm gonna off to sequel now~
vip21_exotic #4
Chapter 20: This is one great story and I really hope there will be a sequel :)
vip21_exotic #5
Chapter 17: Oh My God!!!!! No way!!!
AHNHYUNWOO #6
please do a sequel its an interesting story
Yummoz #7
Chapter 20: XJKABDKSHIXBANCHSKBXKABDKSBJSBXN
INmelodySPIRIT #8
Chapter 20: I dont really know why but i'm feeling bad if mark's father really did die in mark's hand. I want him to be alive so that he will apologise to mark for not raising him up well
Can this be true??
I would be more than glad if it is