Nobody knows, 너와 내가 매일 이렇게 사랑하는걸.
( Nobody knows, how we love like this every day. )

"M-Mark?" Saemi was quite astonished to find the boy back at her front door step, "Did you forget something?"

After a painfully awkward dinner, he had left without too many words, and she thought that he wanted nothing to do with her anymore. She knew that the uncomfortable feeling in the air was because of the hug that he had given her as it was something that was completely unlike him.

However, to be completely honest, she believed his return was even more unlike his character. There was something about the way he was out-of-breath and averting eyes that caused Saemi to second-guess the fact that he had truly left something behind.

"I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep," he suddenly blurts, putting her into a state of complete confusion. She didn't think he actually cared enough about her to waste his whole night here.

As a result, she questions him, suspicions forming in her mind, "What are you trying to do? What do you want from me? There better be a good reason for this."

She doesn't get a clear answer. She knows that he makes up the excuses of making sure that "she's not making up stories about him in the assignment" and making sure that "she doesn't ruin his reputation."

But even then, she realizes that his inability to produce a clear response means that even he doesn't know what he is doing back at her place. She took this as a sign of emotional development, but she knows that she could be thinking too much into this situation.

Before she knows it, the two of them are seated side-by-side her laptop as he watches her type away at the assignment. While he may have assumed that she was unaware of the fact that he had begun to watch her, she could see his gaze within her peripherals, causing her to become nervous.

She can't tell what he is thinking, and it worries her. She worries that Mark is making her softer, and she worries that if she stays with him too long, she will be incapable of fulfilling her responsibilities.

For the first time ever, she worries about failure. Luckily for her, that worry soon became replaced with a wave of sleepiness. Before she notices, she has already fallen deep asleep.

Within seconds, her head had found its way onto Mark's shoulder, a perfect fit.

***

It didn't take long for the teacher to announce the school trip that their class would be taking to the villa, and the whole idea of a trip made Saemi anxious. She knows that she has to pretend to be excited about it, but the fact that she was going to be up high in a mountain away from her father made her worry.

What if she runs into trouble? Would she be able to get the help that she needs? All the worries that build up within her mind causes her to become unfocused when the teacher details the events of the trip.

However, whether she likes it or not, the trip was going to happen, and she had to be on it. If she wasn't, then she would be losing another opportunity to kill Mark. She had already waited so long already, and procrastination is not a skill she wishes to have.

When the day of the trip finally came along, she saw how ecstatic everyone was being. She tries to mimic their emotions, but a part of her found the whole trip to be quite troublesome. She wishes that the whole class took a trip to the zoo or something of the sort. She doesn't like the idea of keeping up the Saemi identity overnight.

Naturally, she doesn't let her inner thoughts affect her behavior. Quickly, she tugs on Mark's sleeve with a radiant smile, "Mark! Come here! Isn't it amazing that you can see the school from up here?"

That sure sounded like what Park Saemi would say. However, Hana was thinking about how it would be a quick and easy death if she justs pushes him off of a cliff. One single gesture and he would be gone from her life, just like that.

Unfortunately, as she slowly begins to reach over in an attempt to push Mark, she sees a group of girls standing behind them, taking pictures of the lovely couple. Mark grins down at her, "It almost takes my breath away."

Feeling Mark put his arm around her waist, she responds by putting her head against his chest. The two of them, unknowingly, slowly falling deeper into the roles of the loving couple. While she smiles on the outside, she still couldn't help but feel annoyed on the inside, the part of her that is Hana.

I almost had it too. What horrible timing.

***

"...How did we end up in this situation?" she shuffles awkwardly around the bed, unsure of how to act in such a situation that she was placed it, "I never expected this to happen."

"Our classmates can be quite... persistent, don't you think?" Mark replies smoothly as he begins to make himself feel right at home, placing down the vacation bags that he had brought along.

Saemi couldn't take her eyes off of Mark as she found herself suspicious of all of his actions. To be paired up in a room with such an unpredictable boy, Mark Tuan, she felt like she couldn't let her guard down. Everyone in class had voted that she should stay with her boyfriend, but she knew that a fake relationship like this should not be in such a intimate situation. To be completely honest, she regrets not associating herself with the other females in her class. If she had just made one other friend, she would've been able to escape from this problematic consequence.

Instead, Saemi lies down onto her side of the bed, covering her eyes with her forearm, "Isn't this taking out boyfriend-girlfriend role too seriously? What if even more rumors spread about us? Do you think we can handle something like that?"

However, Mark's reply made it seem like he didn't actually mind sharing a room with her, "Why do you care about what they think? You just need to be who you want to be. Don't let anyone change you, ever."

His words definitely catches Saemi off-guard. Was this a motto that Mark lived by? Is that why he does what he wants, without a care for anyone else's well-being? Though a bit extreme, she can see that his morals were just a bit skewed. Even if he, himself, may act as the villain, sometimes, she finds it hard to believe that he is all bad, especially when a part of herself has slightly grown attached to him (even if she does not like admitting it).

She opens to tell him that she never expected something so profound from a psychopath like himself, but she realizes that if she does so, then her identity would be exposed. Instead, she just smiles to herself, "Thank you."

***

The thought of star-gazing made Saemi unbelievably happy. Due to all her training during her life, she rarely had time to herself to sit down and enjoy the calmness that is nature. Even if she is still on a mission, she believes that, just for a moment, she could just have a moment to herself. As a result, she decided to cast away the identity that is Park Saemi and become herself for an hour.

She follows Mark closely up the mountain, afraid that she might get lost and never find her way back to the villa. But in following Mark, she found it hard to take her eyes off of his back. Instead of staring at the stars, she couldn't stop thinking about the boy that is Mark Tuan. Her footsteps echoed his, always one step behind.

He is the boy who always did what he wanted. She is the girl who always did what was expected of her. In that sense, she had already fell behind. Though his methods were wrong, she couldn't help but feel slight jealousy towards him. Why couldn't she bring herself to do as she wished? She couldn't be a burden. She had expectations that she needs to exceed. She needs to be the perfect girl that her father thinks of her to be.

She's at her limit. She thought she could keep everything to herself, but Mark has broken that confidence. She's never noticed it before, but she only desires to escape from this reality. She wants everything to stop. She wants everything to come to a standstill, but she knows that it can't. She has to endure. If she doesn't, then she will truly be alone.

She has no idea what she should do.

And in the midst of those thoughts, she finds herself colliding into Mark, "Oh! I'm sorry! I must've dazed off for a second there."

But Mark doesn't look like he completely believes her, "Are you alright? You're not the type of person to easily fall into a daze, especially when you were so excited to come on this trip. You know you can tell me anything, right? I'll listen to every word you have to say."

However, though she appreciates the concern that he has for her, she knows that she can't tell him about her thoughts. So instead, she pretends that nothing had happened. As if she didn't question her entire life within the few minutes of walking, she just smiles like the normal Park Saemi would.

"That's really nice of you, but it's not necessary. I'm completely fine."

Nobody knows, how we regret like this every day.