ISEUL’S POV

People talk about how there’s a calm before a storm, but no one ever mentions how there’s a calm after it too.  My life is currently in that phase—the calm after the storm where I’m just sitting passively on the slow, rocking waters of daily life without anything much going on. 

My life, after the storm that momentarily threw me off course and into chaos, has resumed its slow, steady tempo now.  Wake up.  Check emails for job application results.  Shower, have breakfast, get dressed.  Go to Lisa’s internet café—it’s called Black Printernet, by the way—and work behind the front desk there.  I guess it’s because you can print stuff too at her place, but why Black?  Because of the much-needed black ink?

Anyway, after that I’d go eat or something with Mark, sometimes with Jackson, sometimes Jae swings by, and then that’s mainly it.  It’s very mundane, yes, but at least it’s far more reliable now.  I’m in control.  And slow and steady isn’t always bad.  Slow and steady wins the race after all!

Today, a nice little surprise came my way!  An offer for an interview at Park Holdings!  Asaaaa finally!!  Lalalala!  Your girl is getting hired biiiitch— okay reply first Iseul, reply first.  You can’t get hired if you never reply.

Nice, Park Holdings emailed back already.  I’m just waiting for Jung Enterprises now, and also Kim Shin & Co, which is the company Mark told me about.  After confirming my ability to attend an interview next week for Park Holdings, I set off to shower while humming a happy tune.  Geuraeyo na!  Neol!  Sa!  Ranghae!

”I’M GENIE FOR YOU BOYS!”  I chant zealously, scrubbing my hair.  “I’m genie for your wish!”

Living alone brings so much freedom!

After wrapping up my one-man shower concert, I get dressed, get myself ready, and head out to work.

Which is only temporary work, to be exact.

Because you know, filler jobs. 

Oh my gosh, what am I even saying?  Basically, I’m going to Black Printernet.

Okay, I’m going to be completely honest with you.  Black Printernet has changed.  It isn’t the way it was weeks ago when I first applied anymore.  And the reason behind that is…

THERE’S THIS WEIRD MOFO WHO KEEPS PESTERING ME WHENEVER I’M JUST TRYING TO DO MY JOB!!  I swear!  He’s always there, whether I take the early or late shift, whether I tell it to Lisa or not!  It’s like he KNOWS my mind and when I plan to work!  It’s like he can read it!  And the worst thing is, he’s always there before me!  I can’t even report him to the police for stalking or anything!  Well maybe I can, but I have no evidence!  When I take the late shift he’s already there, and when I take the early shift he’s there too, waiting outside! 

And you know what he always brings with him?

His ing.  Pet.  Squirrel.

Yes, he has a pet squirrel.

A SQUIRREL. 

How the does one even get a pet squirrel?!  Is it even legal?!  I swear I’m gonna ask him about it one of these days and if I find out that that squirrel is illegally obtained, I’m reporting him to Korea’s Ministry of Wildlife or something and get him arrested.  Because I hate that stupid squirrel!!!

It’s like its life mission is to destroy my sanity or something!!  The squirrel would pester me non-stop, running around me and my desk area in dizzying circles, sometimes it brings nuts or twigs with him and decided it would be cool to throw them at me, and sometimes the squirrel just damn straight pisses on the floor like he is entitled to mark his territory!! OMG!!  I’m going to freaking cry just thinking about it!!

That manifestation of satan in its little furry body is the one thing stopping me from going to work with a happy heart.  For real.  Like, the squirrel’s owner is pretty much an annoying too, but without his squirrel, his annoyingness would decrease exponentially.  It’s because of his squirrel he’s annoying!  Why?  Because he ing supports his squirrel’s devilish acts!  Basically they’re a team set on making my life a miserable hell and I’m about to face that hell right now!

“Whoaaa!!!  Look Chippy, it’s Iseul!”

AAAARGH!!  Ommaaaa!!! 

“Why are you always here!”  I huff irritatedly, heading right behind the counter without even looking at him.  “Don’t you have school or something?  Work?!  Family obligations?!  JAIL TIME?!”

“Chippy is my family obligation!”  The dude replies, his pet squirrel fondly.  I grimace.  Ew.  I’m sure there’s at least twenty diseases you can catch from petting a squirrel like that. 

“You poor, lonely soul.”

“Chippy, she’s looking at you like you’re disgusting.”  The guy pouts.  “ATTACK!”

“AAAH!”  I scream, immediately dashing away.  No, I do not want that bat psycho species attacking me with nuts or claws anymore!!  “Okay, okay!  Chippy cute!  Chippy good boy!”

“Chippy is female!” 

“Good girl then!”  I correct in exasperation.  “Whatever!  Get Chippy away from me!!”

“Oh, just wait.  Soon Chippy is going to get pregnant, then she’s gonna have a dozen Chippy babies, and I’m gonna bring them all here—”

“I’m calling the cops on you!”  I scream.  “This is terrorizing, threatening, illegal animal ownership—”

“Yeah, no, that law jargon sounds like complete bull coming from you.”  The guy frowns.  “If you hate Chippy so much, why don’t you quit?”

“Excuse me?!”  I look at him.  This guy really needs a high-five on the head with a frying pan.  He has logic problems.  “Why should I be the one quitting?!  You and Chippy can find some other internet café to go to!  We’re going out of business because of you!”

“But you’re the one who hates Chippy!  Chippy doesn’t hate you!” 

Oh, the balls.  The balls of this little motherer.  Pop! goes my patience.

“Alright, listen here, Mr…?”  Oh my ing gosh, this is embarrassing.  I was about to lash out at him but I don’t even know his name.  I hate myself!!

“Mr. Chippy!”

OMFG!  That’s it!

“YAH!” I rage, standing up.  “Get out!  Get out get out get out get out GET OUT!!!” 

This maniac in front of me starts laughing boisterously, clutching his stomach while bending forwards and backwards like some kind of drunk celery stick.  “Puahahahaha!!!  You should’ve seen the look on your face!”

I quickly flip through the pages in the log book that visitors have to sign in to, trying to find his name.  According to my records, his name is…

“Mark!”

I nearly drop the whole book.  “W-what?”  Does he know Mark?  Mark… like as in Mark Tuan, the other chicken-wing-maniac I know too?  What is with people named Mark these days?  It’s like they’re all born with one less screw or something!

“Yeah, Mark.  Mark Lee.  What?  You got a problem with that?  You like Mr. Chippy better?”

“So many weird Marks roaming the streets of Seoul these days.”  I muse to myself.  “I wonder if it’s a new plague.”

“What did you say?!”

I flash him a saccharine-sweet smile before slamming my hands on the countertop so hard that even this stupid Mark jumps and trembles in fear a little.  “I just said get out of this ing place!!”

KAI’S POV

“The squirrel plan didn’t work, Boss.  Iseul kicked Mark out instead.”  Taeyong reports like he actually thinks he needs to report that.  my life.  I’m gonna smash my head on a plank any minute now.  I mean….

DOES HE REALLY— Does he really think I wouldn’t figure that out myself?  Does he really think that stupid idea of his stupid team would actually work?!?!  I knew they were on the express train to glorious failure the minute an animal entered this whole plan!!!

“Wow, I am actually not surprised at all!  Taeyong!  Did you really think that that plan would actually work?!”  I snap viciously, making Sehun, who was lounging around uselessly, flinch a little.  “Do you—yah, are you okay?  Are you high?  Are you still Lee Taeyong?!”

“Yes, Boss.”  Lee Idiot Taeyong replies with the utmost seriousness.  Is this it?  Is this how the HOC falls?  When what used to be highly competent members devolve into dumb eggplants?!

I take a deep breath, refueling myself.  “Listen up, Lee Taeyong.”

“Yes, Boss?”

He better not think I’m joking.

“You have, up to this point, been one of the most competent member in our underground association.  You have had no trouble directing your team towards achieving whatever objective we have ordered you to achieve.  We tell you to deliver shipments, business partners, go to auctions and execute trades, and you have always been able to do so successfully.”  I take a deep breath.  “So, Lee Taeyong, tell me.  How is it that today, right now, you and a whole team of men are incapable of merely getting someone to stop working at an internet café that is not even paying her properly?!”

“Boss, the requirements you requested—”

“Did not include a squirrel!”  I bark.  “Listen.  You and your whole team.  I want her gone from there ASAP, you hear me?  ASAP.  Do you understand what I mean when I tell you I want something done ASAP?”

“Yes, Boss.”

“What?”

“Instantly, Boss.”  Taeyong replies.  “But, Boss…”

“What?!”  I snap irritably. 

“The quickest way possible, of course, would be to just offer her a job at another company, since her formally jobless state is the whole reason why she’s at this internet café in the first pla—”

“I know that!”  I yell.  “But knowing her, I also know that she will be absolutely furious if she ever finds out that I have anything to do with her getting hired.  Because then she won’t be hired because of her capabilities on her own, but because of the extent of places I am able to reach and the pushes I am able to give.  It then will be because of me, not herself, that she is hired.  Do I really need to tell you all this?”

“No—”

“So when I tell you I want her gone without interfering with her job applications,”  I interrupt impatiently, “I expect you to do it that way.  And as with any other order, there will be consequences if you fail to do so.”

With that, I hang up.

Sehun looks at me with his nose wrinkled.  “Dude.  Dude.  You need to chill.  You really need to chill.”

“Okay, just—why are you echoing your own words?”  I grunt, rubbing my temples.

“Because I’m not sure if you can hear me over that ultrathick ‘I am the savior that Iseul needs’ complex!  For real Kai, do you think it’s really necessary to do all this?  Yes—she’s in potential danger because we’re dealing with someone who would hack into security cameras through a public computer and coincidentally, Iseul works at an internet café, but there’s no guarantee that he’s gonna come to her, and even if he does, you have Taeyong and his whole team shadowing her 24/7 already!”

“But—”

“Besides, I bet my whole pretty on Iseul exploding once she finds out that you’ve been keeping excessive tabs on her after so brutally cutting all contact.” Sehun sticks his tongue out.

“Yup, that one’s a ticking time bomb right there.”  D.O. mumbles.  HUH!  The nerve of that egghead!!

“Yah, I didn’t have a choice but to be brutal, you er—”

“Point is, keep yourself in check, mate!”  Sehun interrupts, flinging his hands up.  “From one brother to another, bro, she’s gonna be mad at you for sure.”

Why is he not working as some sappy love advisor at Cosmo yet?!

“I’m just doing this because is there any guarantee that he won’t eventually come to her?”  I retort.  “I’d rather be safe than sorry, Sehun.  That’s a good strategy, in case you didn’t know.  And Taeyong wouldn’t be hearing this from me if it weren’t for that incredibly dumb use of an animal.  I wonder whose idea was it.”

Baekhyun twirls in out of the blue.  “My money’s on that kid—what’s his name?  Jisung?  Seems like the animal kind to me.”

“Really?  With his mushroom haircut I thought he was vegan or something to even want something like that on his head.”

“What I wanna know is who allowed it.”  Chanyeol snickers.  “Some whole new level of stupid, that one.”

“What I wanna know is what Iseul did in response to that attack.”  D.O. glances at me, smiling a little.  “Other than kick him out, I mean.”

“Probably complain to the other Mark about it.”  Baekhyun replies smoothly, wiggling his eyebrows at me.  “Oh, Mark~~”

I flip him the finger, which only makes him laugh. 

“What do you suggest otherwise then?”  He asks, batting his eyes exaggeratedly.

I scowl.  “She’s gonna complain and complain until the owner issues an animal ban from the internet café.  I’m off to pick up Jongguk, ers.” 

ISEUL’S POV

“Lisa!!!  Boss!!”  I wail, running straight towards her the moment I see the first strand of platinum blonde sway by the door. 

“Wow, I’m happy to see you too.”  Lisa looks at me, apparently weirded out.  “What’s up?”

I clasp my hands together.  “Why don’t we make this facility animal-free?” 

Her dark-dyed eyebrows shoot up to the ceiling before dropping down again.  “Why?”

“Why not?” 

Lisa scowls and walks away.  Oh, she’s in a pissy mood today.  Wait.  That’s nothing new.

“Okay, okay!”  I hurry after her.  “I think it’s better if we made this place ‘No Pets Allowed’ because don’t you know how disruptive animals can be?  Like, what if some high school kid came with their dog, get totally immersed in whatever game they’re playing, and forget about their dog?  The dog’s gonna run loose and the next thing you know—boom!  Computer 16 exploded because of a chewed-up wire.”

“Hmm.”

“Or what if they start climbing up on tables, unsupervised, and suddenly pee somewhere?!  On the keyboard, for example?  Lisa, why isn’t this place animal-free yet?”  I’m actually starting to get really invested in this.  Like, this isn’t even about Chippy anymore.  It’s not personal.  It’s about my genuine concern for the welfare of this place!

“Okay, I get your point.”  Lisa turns around to look at me.  “Did the guy with the squirrel come around again?”

My face falls.  “Yeah.”  I sulk.

“He still got his maniac pet with him?”

“And his maniac behavior.”

“Still tormenting you?”

“I’m really counting on the legislation of this pet-free bill to alleviate my suffering of workplace harassment, Lisa.”  I beg. 

“Ok.”  She shrugs.  “Just go get the sign from Daiso or Ikea or wherever.”

“Really?!” 

“Yeah.”  She looks at me unblinkingly for a couple of seconds.  “But you know, I’m not sure if that’s enough to keep that maniac out.” 

My shoulders sink.  “I know.”

“Like, I feel like he’s targeting you, for some reason.  But this is one hell of an absurd attack strategy.  I mean, come on, using his pet squirrel to piss you off?  What is he trying to achieve?  What does he think he’s going to achieve?”

“Should I just report him to the police or something?”  I ask, already dreading the very prospect of dealing with cops.  Not that they ever take care of anything properly.  Now, if cops are good looking as they are in dramas then maybe I’ll consider—

“You could report it for suspicious behavior or something, I think.”  Lisa ponders, thinking about it for a while.  “I mean, I guess you could always say something.”

“Yeah, I guess.”  I mumble glumly. 

“You don’t want to deal with them, don’t you?”

“Who would want to, honestly?”  I laugh dryly. 

She offers me the most sympathetic smile I’ve ever seen come from her to date.  “Maybe you can wait until you put up the ‘No Pets’ sign.  If he still comes around blatantly ignoring it, then you’ve got to do something, girl.  For real.”

“Yeah.”  I sigh.  Without thinking it through I stretch my arms and legs, groaning loudly, “Urgghhhh why can’t I just get hired already??!” 

“Gee, glad to know how you really feel about this place.”  Lisa deadpans, and I yelp stupidly in shock. 

“No no no!  I mean, I didn’t mean it like that—you know I like it here and I’m really glad you’re letting me help you out—I just—”

She smirks her signature smirk.  “Don’t worry.  I know exactly what you mean.” 

“I’m sorry!!”  I squawk.  “I really didn’t mean it in a bad way!!  I really enjoy—”

“Relax girl, I got you.”  Lisa pats my shoulder.  “I hope you get hired soon too, and I mean this the same way you do.” 

I… am a genius.

No really, I am. 

The next day, right after I put up the ‘no pets allowed’ sign, that squirrel-loving crackhead vanished.  Poof!  Gone!  He didn’t show up today—all day, that is—and I don’t know what it is, but something tells me that he’s going to stop showing up for real.  The hair on the back of my neck can finally relax. 

“Who knew that it would be this easy to get him to stop coming, huh?”  Lisa muses, almost cynically.  I ignore the tinge of traceable sarcasm.

“I don’t know.”  I shrug.  “It is weird.  I expected more of a fight back, to be honest.”

It’s like that feeling when life is working out too easily for you that you find yourself taking a step back with raised eyebrows, thinking to yourself, ‘hmm, has the universe suddenly decided to be nice and stop screwing me today?’

“Yah, look at me.”  Lisa snaps her fingers and like an idiot, I instantly look up.  “Don’t tell me you’re missing that weirdo?”

“Miss him?!”  I recoil.  “Boss, I miss a lot of things in this life, like not having to pay taxes and , but I sure as do not miss him.”

“Good.”  Lisa says matter-of-factly.  “Oh look!  Boyfriend alert!”

“Oh, joy.”  I deadpan, having no interest whatsoever in Lisa’s skiing boyfriend.  I’m salty!  I’m salty as !  I, too, want ze boyf—why is she still standing here and not running full speed towards him?

“What?” I ask her, mildly surprised to see her staring expectantly at me.

“Not mine.  Yours.”  She grins, pointing at the newcomer who’s slowly approaching.

For a blitz of a moment my brain spasms violently and produce an image of just one person.  Of him.  For a split second his face appears in my mind, as clear as quartz, and I whirl around so quickly, somehow deluding that it would be him— but no.  Of course not.  Lisa was talking about… Mark.

Of course.  He’s the boy friend she’d mean.

“Hey.”  I greet him, trying not to look so crestfallen.  Hard as I can, I push the images away, shattering them, but the lingering disappointment remains.  I swear, it be your own brain sometimes.  Most of the time.

“Disappointed that it’s me and not the squirrel guy?”  Mark teases, stretching out his arms.

I roll my eyes.  “Yeah, disappointed that I’m not getting bitten again today.”

Mark smirks.  “Well we can always arrange that—"

“Try that and you’re not gonna be able to bite anything the next day.”  I glare at him and he laughs. 

Beside me, Lisa looks thoughtfully from Mark to me, then back to Mark.  “I can’t decide.  Boyfriend?  Not boyfriend?”

“Boy friend,” I interject, “with a space in between.  A space called the friendzone.”

Lisa bursts out laughing, slapping the table maniacally.  “, you harsh!”

“Don’t worry, I know how I put myself there.”  Mark smiles, graciously accepting his defeat.  He slings an arm around me and I pretend to scowl, although I don’t mind it nearly as much anymore now.  “Guess what?”

“You have food for me?”  I ask with wide, shining eyes. 

“Hoe!”  Lisa calls from across the counter, heading to where her phone is charging. 

“No, but check your email.”  Mark smiles, his eyes twinkling. 

Email.  EMAIL!  My eyes widen, realizing how I haven’t done so today.  “What what what—did you get something in yours?  Oh Mark what if I don’t get anything—”

“Just shut up and check it!”

“Rude!”  I harrumph, marching away nevertheless.  Grabbing my phone, I refresh the email app a couple of times and I—

“YAAAAH!!”  I scream.  “The Kim company – they’re calling me in for an interview!!”

“YAAAY!”  Mark screams back, clapping enthusiastically.  “See?”

“What is this—wait, when did they—I don’t—Mark, how did you know?!”  I look up at him, eyes wide, feeling all suspicious all of a sudden.  Don’t tell me he had something to do with this?

“Because, Iseul,” Mark grins, pulling out his own phone, “you once logged-in to your email here and never logged out.”

My eyebrows rise in surprise and confusion and my mind reels back to all the possible times that that could’ve happened.  “When… when was that?  Was it during… oh…”

“Yeah, about two weeks ago when you were desperately checking results every day.”  He replies.  “During one of those days you forgot your laptop at home and your phone just died and you just couldn’t wait another hour till you got home—”

“Shush!” I hiss, remembering how I aggressively robbed Mark of his phone and forced my email credentials into his app.  “This is for the GPS-related startup right?  What’s it called again?  What about you?” 

“Yeah, I got one too. Kim Shin & Co.”  Mark shrugs.  “Looks like it’s gonna be you and me till the end, sis.”

“Crap.”  I say flatly, already engrossed in typing back a reply.  “But yeaaah boy this is getting hired!!”

KAI’S POV

Kim Jongguk is winning his own Olympic Games as the world’s crankiest four-dimensional problem these days.  Sometimes he’s quiet and complacent, but other times he behaves like he’s programmed to reject every single command uttered upon him a