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 “Here’s my brother!” I announce as I rush back into the room, panting.  Why am I running back?  Because Kai kept on bugging me about how he was in the middle of something very important when I called so we had to get this over with as soon as possible.

“Ah.  Nice to meet you Mr.. Seo...” The guidance counsellor trails off.

“Seo.. Bo—Bon.. Chon..” I say, mentally kicking myself with every syllable. 

I can see Kai turning his head to me, his eyes widening in protest.  His lips begin to part to say something, but I give him a pleading look.  Please just let it go.  PLEASE.

“Appa!  What’s wrong with Iseul noona?  How come she—“

“Jongguk-ah.  Be quiet.  You’ve done enough for today.”  Kai says in a hard voice.  Jongguk immediately shuts up.

“Oh wait—I could’ve sworn you yelled Kim Jongguk back in the hall..” Professor Go turned to me. 

“Oh really?  Did I?”  I feign surprise.  Right.  Think of a lie brain!  Think of a lie!!

“Yes!!  I remember because—“

“Ah, that!  It was joke.  You know this guy on Running Man Kim Jungkook?  Well, since their names sound similar—Jongguk and Jungkook—and Jongguk really idolizes him because of his strength and speed, I usually call him Kim Jongguk to.. .”  I force a laugh.  “He’s.. Seo Jongguk.”

I swear.  This is so weird!  We’re switching up our family names again.  I remember being introduced as Kim Iseul that time—and it was so weird!!

“I see.”  Prof Go clears his throat.  “Well?  Let’s get down to business shall we?”

Now thankfully... THANKFULLY THANKFULLY THANKFULLY... I didn’t forget to brief Kai about the lie I made up as we were running back to the counsellor’s office.  I told him he got a call from one of his paper factories in Busan, and so I had to take care of Jongguk for today.  If they ask what happened in Busan, tell them one of your employees had an accident with the paper cutting machine. 

As expected, the guidance counsellor and the Dean begins shooting Kai with questions, interrogating him, and thankfully Kai replies with everything I’ve told him back when we were running.   I watch Jongguk make weird, confused faces as he probably begins to question the reality as well. 

“But then who usually takes care of Jongguk?  Iseul told us that she’s also the babysitter.”  The Dean frowns.

. 

Just.. .

Okay, I’m not glad I didn’t lie about that!  I should’ve just LIED!

“Iseul, do you feel like a babysitter that much?”  Kai looks at me with an astonished face.  “Yah, I’m really sorry!  You see here Prof, on weekends and whenever Iseul has an empty schedule but I am forced to work, I usually call her and ask her to take care of my son.  And when she isn’t free, Jongguk is usually at school too—or at one of his lessons.  She’s not like, my official babysitter!” 

I smirk a little.  This top-notch bluffer!!

I look at Jongguk who has evidently given up on trying to figure out what the is going around in here.  He’s sitting slumped in his chair with his arms crossed and his mouth pulled into a pout. 

“I see.”  The Dean nods. 

“I’m sorry but—what has my son done today?  How much trouble did he actually get himself and my sister into?”

“Professor.”  The guidance counsellor looks at Prof Go.  “You want to take this one?”

“Pleasure is mine, Park.”  Prof Go replies.  “First of all sir, your son being here alone is already trouble.  He is not allowed in here and I’m sure you know that too.”

“My apologies, Professor.”  Kai says, bowing his head slightly.

“Not only that, he has disrupted the peaceful teaching environment we wish to create.  While I was getting Ms Seo here to explain up in front about levels of measurement, the little boy had tagged along with her—and had gone unnoticed.  He then proceeded to play with my laptop and use it as a keyboard to accompany him singing this Korean pop song, and he—“

Here Prof Go begins rambling with such rage and passion, I actually expect him to just.. pop.

“—and if that wasn’t enough, he spilled my coffee all over my laptop!  It’s as good as dead now!  All the entire internal parts are destroyed!  Everything is burnt!”

“Jongguk.”  Kai says.  It is only a two-syllable word but he manages to make it sound like a death sentence.  “Why did you do that?”

“I thought tha—“

“You can scold your son later, Mr Seo, as we aren’t finished discussing Jongguk’s wrongdoings today.”  The Dean looks at me.  “I heard about a certain water fountain incident today.”

“Water fountain?” Kai looks at me.  Right.  I haven’t told him about that.

“Your son turned it into a baptizing pool.”  The Dean nods, showing him screencaps of CCTV footage.

.... .

Long story short – because I absolutely do not want to remember what happened back there – Kai made up some fake story of how Jongguk is going through therapy or some kind of treatment for ADHD, which is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, which well – explains it all quite well.   In the end, I was granted two weeks of cleaning the toilets in the Mathematical Sciences building, as well as paying back the money for the damage done to Go’s computer, to which Go claims he would just like the service fee and the cost for getting new internal parts since he and his 5 year old laptop have history.

 “Two weeks?!”  I shout.  “The whole building?!” 

“Be glad we’ve lowered it down from four weeks, Ms Seo.”  The Dean crosses his arms. 

“But.. but there’s like.. ten toilets!”

“You should’ve taken better care of the child.”  They shrug. 

My jaw falls open.  “I thought I’ve explained it all already!!  I was in the middle of something—“

“You could’ve avoided being called up to the front by coming to class on time.”  Professor Go says.

“But I was busy looking for Jongguk!!”  My voice breaks.  “He ran off, remember?!”

“You should’ve entrusted him to someone more responsible.”  The Dean shrugs.  “I don’t know, you should’ve thought it all through, Ms Seo.  If you’re going to cook up chaos you should’ve braced yourself and prepared yourself for anything already.”

“But—“

“That’s enough, Ms Seo.”

I can’t believe this.  I absolutely can’t.

I’m boiling with rage.  Injustice!!  This isn’t fair!   Can’t believe they’re actually still blaming me here!

And now I, I’ve gone from the screaming phase of fury to the silent phase.  The stage in which you’re too mad and too tired to even swear at the subject of your anger anymore.  And trust me, the longer it all sinks in, the angrier I get.  I swear, I’m incredibly pissed at Kai and Jongguk. 

“I appreciate your understanding, Professor.”  Kai dips his head in a very polite manner. 

“Very well then.  Iseul, you better not create something like this again.”

I sulk.  It’s all Kai’s fault, really.  And Jongguk’s.  “Neh.”

“Very well then.  You can go.” 

“I can graduate this year right?”  I ask immediately.

“If you steer clear for the rest of the year and complete the punishments we’ve given you.”  The Dean nods.  “Yes, that is possible.”

“Thank you!” I bow twice.  God, that’s a relief.  I should be jumping for joy now but.. I’m still too pissed at Jongguk and Kai.

“Then I guess that’s settled... well, you’re free to go.” 

After more bows and more parting remarks, Jongguk, Kai and I step out of the guidance office, free from the net. 

“Iseu—“

I ignore him and walk away.  Jesus Christ – I’m just too pissed!!  I might not be able to keep my anger in check so I really don’t want to talk to anybody right now.  Primarily Kai and Jongguk.

“Yah, wait up—“

“Please go.”  I mutter, walking away.  I really can’t take his anymore.  “Please just go.” 

“Wait, I—“

“MARK!!” I yell, breaking into a run as soon as I see Mark round the corner with my books and Jongguk’s bag.  This.  This is why I need a boyfriend.  I just need to bury myself in someone’s chest right now!  

“Seul!”  He exclaims, searching my face.  “What happened?”

“I don’t even want to talk about it.”  I shake my head.  “Can we just.. can we just go somewhere?  Please?  I have to clean ten toilets starting tomorrow for two weeks.” 

“Oh no.”  Mark makes a face.

“Yeah.” I nod.  “I feel like now.  Can we just—can you just take me anywhere with that cab of yours—“

“Iseul!”  I hear Kai yell from behind me. 

Mark looks over my head and his jaw hardens a little.  “Seul, is that—“

“Go away!” I yell without turning around.  Mark looks at me in shock and I think that’s when he realizes how pissed I just am.  He takes my hand and begins to pull me away, leading us to the opposite direction, but—

“Stop.”  I feel Kai yanking my wrist harshly, causing my body to jerk back. 

“You stop.”  I reply through clenched teeth.  Who does he think he is?!  I spin around, still livid, but Kai doesn’t even flinch. 

“I—“

“You should go.”  I try yanking my wrist free but Kai holds on. 

“I—I’m sorry.”  He says, a little hesitantly.  “I—“

“Stop it.”  I sigh.  “Mark, let’s go.  Please.”

Kai looks up at Mark and something changes in his eyes.  I can’t get what it is but— it’s like a new layer has formed over his eyes.  I look up at Mark.  Mark’s not looking at Kai.  He’s looking at... he’s looking at Jongguk.

Okay, c-ree-py.

“Let’s go.”  Mark whispers, tightening his grip on my hand.  Kai looks at me, but I don’t say anything. 

I let Mark pull me away. 

Kai watches the two go away, but he doesn’t know what bothers him more—the fact that he feels like he has seen Mark somewhere, or the fact that Iseul is furious at him.  Not just pissed.  Not just angry.  But furious.  Livid.  He has never seen such outrage in her eyes before. 

Or the fact that this Mark guy thinks he can just pull her away from him like that.

“Appa—“

“Jongguk, let’s go.  I need to have a talk with you too.”  Kai says through gritted teeth, and Jongguk immediately clamps his mouth shut. 

Suddenly, a door from his left opens.  “Ah, Mr Seo!”  The guidance counsellor says.  “My apologies sir.  You're having trouble figuring your way out, aren't you?”

Kai clears his throat.  “Ah, well—I—“

“Did Ms Seo leave you?”  the guidance counsellor chuckles good naturedly.  “I expected her to.  Come, I’ll lead you to the nearest exit.” 

Kai offers a small smile of appreciation and the three—Jongguk, Kai, and the guidance counsellor—make their way to the exit.

He half-heartedly listens to the older man’s rambling as they wind through the halls and corridors.  “I’d like to apologize on the behalf of my two colleagues, sir.  We might’ve been very strict and a little... inquisitive.. but we’re only following the procedure and the regulations of our institute, you see.  We can’t let this off the hook easily, as it might has potential to damage SNU’S positive history so far.  We’ve also never encountered—“

Suddenly, it’s as if the world has stopped spinning.  The counsellor’s words fall on deaf ears and it’s like everything else in Kai’s line of vision peeled away, falling slowly to the ground.  All he sees is that girl.  That girl.  Kai and the guidance counsellor are walking up the corridor, heading north.  In front of them is an intersection—a four way intersection—and from the west, a girl had just appeared, heading to the east.  Easily disappearing behind another wall. 

Gone. 

Kai stops walking for a second. 

Was that—

Was that who he think it was?

“Mr Seo?”

Kai blinks.  “My apologies.  I just—I was just reminded of something I had left off.  You were saying...?” he quipped.

“Ah, yes.  I was just talking about how I never heard of Ms Seo having a brother—“

Kai lost his focus again and the guidance counsellor's chatter falls back into a blurry background.  That girl... that girl that just passed by briefly like a flash—like a shooting star—

He only caught a fleeting glimpse of her side profile.  Yet he’s pretty sure he’s not mistaken....

Could it be...

As they reach the intersection, Kai glances to his right, hoping he’d see the girl. 

But she’s gone. 

Just like she has always been.

“Can we just go get, like, some.. soju or like, whatever that gets you drunk—“

“Iseul, stop.  It’s only 12 at noon and you’re already trippy.” Mark takes the glass of beer away from me.  “It’s still ing midday.  You don’t want to get drunk just yet, trust me.”

“Since when did getting drunk had a schedule?!  You get drunk whenever you need to!”  I protest.  “I’m not even drunk you!  Like you said, I’m just a little trippy—“

“Tipsy—“

“Everybody in the club!”  I sing.   “Gettin tipsy!”

“Iseul—“

“Aish, fine!  You’re such a party pooper.  Can’t you see I’m depressed here?!”  I whine. 

“But you still have classes!”  Mark says, pushing the beer bottle away from me as I reach for it.  “Do you want to get into even more trouble?”

I pout.  “Because of what happened I am excused for the rest of the day.”  I say, quoting the Dean’s words.  “To reflect and to take care of Jongguk.”

“But I have classes.  Who’s going to take care of you if you get into trouble?”  Mark pokes my forehead. 

“Aish, I’m not!”  I snatch my mug of beer from him but Mark reacts fast enough to hold it out further from my reach.  “Aish!!  Ahjumma!  Can I have a bottle of soju here please?”  I yell, sticking my tongue out to Mark.

“Iseul!  It’s lunch time!  You can’t get drunk now!”  Mark says, gaping at me incredulously. 

“Why not?”  I ask.  “You get drunk when you’re depressed.  Currently, I am depressed.”

“You still have a day ahead of you!!” 

I ignore him.  Day?  What day?  Today has gone so ing bad already—I’d like to see how much worse can it get. 

“You know what Mark?”  I say, popping open the bottle of soju that has just arrived.  “You better get to class.”

“You expect me to leave you in this state?”

“Why not?” I shrug.  “You have a problem with me being in this state.” 

Mark sighs.  He ruffles his hair.  “Wanna talk?”  he asks, finally relenting. 

“I’m serious, you should get to class.”  I dodge his question.  I don’t want to talk!  I’m just pissed at having to clean 10 dirty ladies’ toilets every day for two weeks!  I have to take out the trash and such... and you know those stupid, stupid females who, when their uterus lining sheds, can’t even wrap up their pads properly and URGHHHH!!  I CAN’T DEAL WITH THAT MUCH HORROR!! 

I don’t even want to look at the flag of Japan dumped in trashbins, much less clear them out!!

“Half an hour.”  Mark smiles.  “I still have half an hour.”

I look at him.  “Trust me.  You don’t want to hear me rant.” 

Especially if I’m still worked up over the absurdity of all this and the injustice!!  Did they seriously think I’m the only one at fault?!  Or is everything my fault, since I’m the one they have the right to punish.  You can’t punish parents—especially parents whose kids don’t even attend the said school right?!

“Then what do I do to make you feel betteeer?” Mark whines like a giant baby.  “I’m seriously not used to seeing you all depressed and .” 

“Now’s a good time to start.”  I say, chugging down more soju. 

“Iseul, have you eaten?” he asks.

“Who cares.”  I shrug.  “Aaaah.”  I release the burning sensation. 

“I do!  You can’t drink with an empty stomach!”

“Ne, Appa.”  I say sarcastically.

“No seriously!  Alcohol dehydrogenase.”

“Speak in Korean.”  I say, waving my hand around as if I’m trying to shoo off a pesky fly.

“Drinking on an empty stomach causes rapid gastric emptying, which reduces the time alcohol is exposed to alcohol dehydrogenase in your stomach lining.  That’s the scientific version of it but yeah—everyone knows you shouldn’t drink with an empty stomach!”

I stare at him like he just grew an extra head.  “Welcome to Earth, geek.”

“And rapid emptying means the alcohol enters your bloodstream faster and in higher concentration, which results in a stare of inebriation that is more ... than class.”  He continues. 

“Just what did you have for breakfast today Mark?  Wikipedia?” I ask, looking at him incredulously.  “What the is inebriation?”

“Drunkenness.”  Mark rubs his face.  “Seriously.  Eat something first.”

“No!”

“Iseul—“

“Fine, ice cream.”

“No!  Like, real food—“

“Ice cream with waffles!!  Milk and bread— which is good.”

“Oh God.  Is this how it feels like to be a babysitter?”

My face darkens.  “I don’t know.  I don’t want to be a babysitter anymore!”

“You want to quit?” 

I sigh.  “I think so... I don’t know.” 

“Hmmm.”

“Help me decide.”  I tug on his sleeve.  “Should I quit?”

“Well, do you enjoy working there in general?”

“Well, yeah—I mean like—“

I stop. 

“You mean like..?”

“It brings on a certain... thrill from time to time.”  I answer vaguely, remembering various incidents where Kai gave me that delicate flutter in my heart. 

Oh God.

No.

Did I really just think of Kai?  The person I’m supposed to send to hell?

Urgh.

“A thrill?” Mark asks, sounding genuinely surprised. 

“Yeah like.. It’s not.. boring.” 

Yeah, it definitely isn’t.  That’s a right way to describe it. 

“I mean,”  I continue, “I’m not always happy with my job or whatever—and always being happy with your job is fairly impossible—but I’ve never had a dull moment in it.”  I say thoughtfully.

“And the pay?”

“Oh I love the pay.”  I purr. 

“Well, then stay.”  Mark shrugs. 

“Ya think so?” I ask him.  “Even with all the it brought upon me today?”

“I guess?  I mean, I don’t think this kinda thing is going to happen again, and so if we put this aside—you get a.. thrilling job with a good pay.  Right?”

And a good looking employer, I wanted to add.  But I quickly slap myself.

“Right.”  I nod. 

“So what I suggest you to do is..”  Mark holds up two fingers.  “One, eat a proper meal first.  Two, ask the dad for some kind of.. compensation or whatever.” 

“Pfft, like he’d give me anything like that.”  I snort at the thought.

“Why?  Is the dad mean to you?  Does he try weird stuff on you?”  Mark asks, looking concerned now.

“He doesn’t try anything weird.  But yeah, he’s kinda mean.”  I pout.  “But he’s rarely around so—“  I break off.  I think I’m telling Mark too much about Kai already.

“Rarely around huh?”  Mark says absentmindedly. 

“Mmm.”  I shrug. 

“Well!”  Mark straightens up.  “Enough about this guy.  We have to get you something to eat first.  Come on, I’ll get you a bibimbap okay?”

“No!”

“Aish, bulgogi and rice?”

“No!”

“Then what?”

“Ddeokbeokki?”

“That’s like, flour!”  Mark screams.

“I don’t care.” 

“What’s that?  Yes to bibimbap?  Okei!!  Ahjumma, one bibimbap here please!”  Mark raises his hands. 

“Aish!” I groan.  I really don’t feel like eating at the moment! 

“Iseul, I know you’re really pissed at this Kai guy—hey that rhymes—but you have to eat something.  I don’t want to be the one responsible if you end up puking your liver and intestines up.” Mark rests his cheek on his palm as he gazes at me.  “I’ll even pay!”

“Fine.”  I mutter. 

“Good girl.”  He pats my head.  “Oh, I have to go to class now.  Should I call Suzy or—“

“No don’t.  That girl has classes for the whole day today.  Besides, I’ll be fine!”

“Really?”  Mark looks at me doubtfully and okay—OKAY!  I get it!  I don’t look fine right now.  Oh I do look fine—I look like a fine disaster.  But that doesn’t mean I can’t be fine after 3 bottles of soju!

“Yes.  I won’t even drink that much!”  I lie.

“I’m going to have to trust you on this,”  Mark sighs as he gets up, “because I have a class in 15 minutes.” 

“Have fun!” I sing, merrily swinging  my bottle of soju. 

I watch Mark make an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture before walking out of the restaurant.

“Chanyeol can you look after Jongguk for me?”  Kai asks as he barges in their office. 

“I thought he was with—“

“He caused way too much chaos.”  Kai sighs, raking a hand through his hair.  “Jus do it first; I’ll explain everything else to you later.” 

Chanyeol presses his lips together, deciding not to argue with Kai as the latter really looks.. stressed.  Kai walks out of that room and back to Sooman’s, knocking twice on the door.

“Come in.” 

Kai obeys and bows low as soon as he does.  “I’m sorry I had to run out like that.  But I’m back now, so we can continue.” 

“Have a seat.”  The Joker says, not looking up from his stack of papers. 

Kai obeys. 

“Is the issue with the babysitter done?”  Sooman peers at Kai through his glasses, to which the younger gives an affirmative nod.  “Very well.  Where were we?”

“We..”

“Ah.  Kai, how much do you know about your father’s death?”

“The basics.”  Kai shrugs.  “He was nearly burnt to death in that warehouse that night on the 12th of June year 2008—but was rescued.  Nevertheless he died of too much inhalation of toxic fumes and damaged lungs.” 

“Why was he at the warehouse? Do you know how the warehouse caught on fire?”

“He was trying to run away from the cops right?  He killed my mom.   As for the warehouse — no.” 

“Do you know why he killed them?” 

“I don’t remember much about this old man,” Kai’s face hardens, “because I don’t find the need to.  Nor do I want to know.  Nevertheless, what I remember being told about this incident is because he somehow accidentally killed them all.  Which is stupid.”

“Close, but not quite.  That’s okay.  You were just a boy back then.  You know my relationship with your father, right Kai?”

“Half-brothers?” Kai sighs.  “I don't really know.  Can you just tell me from the beginning?”

“Yes.  You know how it goes.  My mother cheated on my father, who, at that time was the Joker of HOC, and gave birth to your father from another man.  Because the other guy was an , my father took your father in, and so your father and I are half brothers.   Of course, as a little boy your father was never the one being put first and he was never paid attention to.  Of course, we’d play a little and I’ve always tried to be nice to him—and that’s a fact—but of course things wouldn’t go smoothly.”  Sooman pauses.  “You know that much right?”

“Yes.”

“He grew up feeling angry and mistreated.  And your father and I, in our younger days, were Aces just like you.  But then when the time came, my father wanted to make me the Joker, and that angered your father even more.  Mainly because he thinks—and admittedly, it is partially true—he has done better than I have as an Ace, expecially because you know, I have asthma.”  The Joker taps the inhaler lying on his table.  “Which means my physical activities are limited.  But my father was my father, and my father was the one who owned HOC, so of course it would all come down to me.” 

“Yes.”

“That angered your father and he became more ruthless, more furious and more dangerous than ever.  He was dead bitter.  He was bitter to the very bone.  At one point he married your mother, and after she learned about him, well, long story short, she told him to stop.  Stop being part of this whole underground business, if possible.  She told him that she didn’t like it and all, and your father got very angry at her every time she did.  They’d fight over it almost every day, about more and more things.   He didn’t want kids.  He didn’t want kids so he could become more fit for being the Joker, especially because at that time I..”  Sooman looks at Kai, “already had a daughter.  You do remember her right?”

“How could I not?  I used to spend all my days with her.”  Kai smiles fondly at the memory of his childhood best friend. 

“But as you know all men have their needs and one time— he scored.  Thus came you.  Your father wasn’t pleased at al