"Iseul?"

Baekhyun's breathless whisper coming from my left voices the one name that has been rocking my head the whole day; that one name that, even though I refuse to believe, might belong to the girl with the gun standing in front of me.  

The girl slowly looks up at me and my eyes widen. 

That's not Iseul, but at the same time..

It really is Iseul. 

"Kai-"

I look at Baekhyun with a hard glare, conveying to him that he should shut up first as I try to process what the hell is going on in here. 

It's the light play, I conclude to myself. 

It's not Iseul.

As I squint to get a better look at her, I start to see the differences.  Her eyes are larger, her nose is slightly bigger and less pointy, and her lips are a notch thicker. 

My brain reels to find an explanation for this twisted phenomenon. Does Iseul have a twin?   Does she--

Wait.  She said it before.  She has a sister.

She has a ing look-alike sister. 

But why... Why is her sister here? 

"Do I know you?"  I ask, calm. 

"No." 

I raise my brows.

"Who are you?"

"Seo Jaein."  The girl smiles an ironic smile. 

It's official.  Iseul has a badass chick of a sister! 

"Pleased to have gain your acquaintance."  I say, not meaning it all.  I pause, waiting for her to say something, but she doesn't move a muscle.

"Kai."  Baekhyun whispers again, and with my hand, I subtly signal him to stop.  What does this girl want?

"What do you want?" I ask, looking at her with newfound curiosity.  So this?  This is Iseul's sister who nearly went to jail? 

"I need to meet someone." 

"Well?  Who is it?  What if it's the guy you just shot dead?"  I ask her, looking at her incredulously. 

"He's not."  Her eyes glint a little. "I came here to meet you."

"Me?" I echo, a little perplexed.

"Yes.  You, Kai." 

ISEUL'S  POV

".  My.  Life."  

I rub my eyes furiously as I wriggle to sit up a little on Kai's couch, which I have transformed into a warzone littered with papers, pens, and highlighters. 

I stretch my legs a little as I lay along the length of the couch. I push my glasses up my nose a little (yes, I have a little cylinder, or astigmatism) and glance at the wall clock. 

9.30 pm. 

I glance at the front foor.  When is Kai coming baaack? 

Getting up, I knock at Jongguk's room before pushing it open a little.  Earlier when one of Kai's colleagues came, I was told that Jongguk will still be grounded for the rest of the night which means no interactions of any sort- so they only brought him in his dinner and told him to eat silently inside.  I know I'm not supposed to visit Jongguk like this, but I can't help it!   I miss him!   I feel so bad for him.  Kai is punishing him really harshly.

I peek in a little to see Jongguk already fast asleep on his bed, hugging his bolster tightly.  For some reason, a little piece of me breaks again.  He went to sleep alone again.  For probably the thousandth time. 

Suddenly, I start remembering what he said about how Kai treats him before he got him a babysitter.  How Kai locks Jongguk up alone at night, leaves him to sleep alone and comes back after he's fast asleep.  I may not know much about raising a child but I do know that a child won't be happy when you do that.

Nobody wants to be alone.

Suddenly, I feel guilty.  I should've just went in and talked to him for at least five minutes!!  That wouldn't hurt anyone and Kai wouldn't find out either.  Instead, I left him alone like that. 

Going back to the couch, I sit back down on my warm spot and continue on with my misery.  It really looks like I'll be sleeping here tonight.  I called Suzy, and by some divine intervention or whatever she coincidentally decided to go boy hunting tonight so yeah!   She won't be coming home either. 

God.  I really want to sleep.  But I can't!   I don't feel.. A 100% sure about tomorrow yet!   And besides, I've legit done nothing today so I kind of feel like...  I don't deserve to sleep yet, you know? 

Aaaaaiiiiiishhhh.

Where's Kaaaaiiiiii? 

Oh God.  Oh God, NO.  I did not just say that in my head.  .  I should really get a grip.   I really shouldn't... Gargh!!!

Should I call him? 

I bite my lip.  What's happening to me?!   Why am I starting to think of him more and more and more and more...

Was it because of this afternoon?   How he was so playful and nice?   Or how he's somehow always there to take care of me?  

Whatever the reason, it should be banished from my mind.  Thinking excessively of someone leads to unwanted effects and pesky feelings that I most definitely do not need right now. 
I lay back down on the couch and stare at the ceiling with my opened laptop on my lap.  True, Kai has been gradually acting nicer and nicer, but that's not a valid reason for me to feel... Anything, because that does not necessarily lead to anything.  I swear, I wish I could be Suzy.  She's always so.. Unaffected.  She's emotionless in a good way, she has a strong heart that won't fall for someone easily and even if she does, that person will fall right back for her! 

I lay there on the couch, thinking of nothing and everything at the same time.. And without knowing it, my eyelids slowly begin to droop close... Until they shut close completely.

I'm leaning on a table, my head resting on my arms.  I'm falling asleep.  I'm rocking back and forth, the table rocking with me a little unsteadily.  No, rocking's not the word.  I'm tipping back and forth.  A little forward, but before I hit the ground, a little backwards.  A little forward, a little backwards, then a little more forward, forward--

"Aah--" I gasp, jolting awake.  

What was that? 

I push up my glasses that have fallen down the bridge of my nose again and look around me.

, I had one of those falling dreams again. I get them so, so often! 

Sitting up, I slowly notice something different.  The living room lights are off, but there are a couple of lights near the kitchen pantry switched on; making the room not so bright and not so dark.  Perfect for sleeping. 

My laptop's not on top of my lap anymore.  It's on the little table in front of the couch. 

Suddenly, the bathroom door to my right swings across me, revealing Kai.

Kai? 

I blink at him, saying nothing,  slowly regaining my senses.  Wait, was he at home before?  I don't think so.  So he's back now?  What time is it?   What time did he came back? 

"Why are you awake?" 

I rub my eyes a little.  "I had a falling dream."

"A falling dream."

"Yeah.  I was about to fall from a table."

"Huh."

"What time is it?" I ask.

"4.50 in the morning." 

My eyes shoot wide open.  4.50?  That means I... I remember falling asleep at 9.30, so I've been asleep for like.. 7 hours?  

When I was supposed to prepare for my thesis exam?!

"You fell asleep and dropped your laptop.  It was on the floor when I came back."  Kai tells me, pointing at my laptop that is resting on the table. 

"Yeah, I did.."  I mutter, still in a haze.  I hurriedly bend over and start picking up my stuff.  Papers.  Books.  Notes.  "What time did you come back?"

"11?  12?  I don't really remember."  Kai shrugs. 

"So late."  I comment, not sure of what else to say.

"I had.. I met with someone."  He says cautiously.  There's something in his voice that compells me to look up at him, so I do.  And when I look at his eyes.. I see something in them.  Something that shows he's.. Restled.  Bothered.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.  Kai walks over to the kitchen pantry to pour himself a glass of water. 

"Sort of." 

That's just like Kai to give off answers that don't really answer your question.  Okay, so everything is sort of okay. 

"Uh. Okay."  I say awkwardly, opening my binder.  Okay, goodbye sleep.  I need to really study now. 

"Are you not going back to sleep?"  He asks, walking over and sitting down at the opposite end of the couch. 

"I have to study."  I yawn.  "Yesterday night I haven't really studied.  I watched High Society until like 8.30, sort of studied until 9.30... And then fell asleep until now.  You yourself?"

"I can't."  Kai shakes his head.  "I have a problem." 

"With the person you just met?" I guess.

"Sort of.  I've also just found out that this story I've been told was a lie."  He says, looking at me with unreadable eyes. 

"Umm.."  I pause awkwardly.  "That must ."

"Yeah."  He says.  "Iseul?"

"Huh?"

"Do you..."  He falters.

"Yeah?"

Kai doesn't say anything.

"What?"  I prod him again.

"Do you.."

"Seriously, Kai.  Spit it out."

Kai sighs and his lips.  "Do you mind making me something that'll help soothe a headache?"

"What the ?" I spit, before I can restrain myself.  "Is that all you have to say?"

Kai shrugs. 

"No, I don't mind. I'll make you some tea."  I get up to do so, but Kai quickly pulls me back down by my wrist.

"Aish, wait.  Nevermind." 

"What?  Kai, seriously.  What's wrong?   You can tell me."  I coax him. 

"Nothing.  Nothing's wrong." 

I sigh in frustration.  There he goes again!  Seriously, what's so hard to just tell me?  If he want, he can always leave the unimportant details out.  I don't mind. 

"You know, you can tell me." 

Kai looks at me with an unreadable expression before shaking his head a bit.  "I can't."

"Okay then.  Suit yourself."  I mumble as I turn back to my study books. 

He lets out a barely audible sigh again and involuntarily, I did so too.  Okay, what the was I studying about last night?  I mean, which part of my thesis was I at?  

I rub my glasses lense clean for a while before slipping it back on.

"Hey, you wear glasses?"  Kai asks suddenly, and I jerk my head to the right to face him.

"Huh?  Oh. Yeah."

Kai stares curiously at me.

"I look like crap, I get it."  I deadpan. 

"I didn't say anything."  He says defensively.  "How come I never see you wear it?"

"I only use them for studying.  I have only very light cylinder."  I shrug, tapping my thin-rimmed nerd glasses.  "You can't expect me to get to the age of 21 with still perfect vision."

"24 and eye-problem free."  Kai smiles smugly.

I tch softly.  "Go to sleep.  You sound tired." 

"I don't feel like sleeping.  Did anyone weird call you again?"  He asks. 

My face falls, remembering the weird incident.  "Thankfully, no.  Did you find out who it was?"

"Unfortunately, no."  Kai shakes his head.  I jut out my lower lip the slightest bit.

"And then?  What about the... Living arrangements?"

"You're going to move in with me.  I told you."  Kai answers nonchalantly and my eyes bulge out.

"We're still... Doing that?"

"I don't see why not."

"You wanna see why not?  Because Kai.  I'm a girl.  You're a guy.  We don't have a relationship that makes sleeping under the same roof--"

"Maids sleep in their master's house.  So I don't see why not."  Kai shrugs.  "Besides, you'll be able to take care of Jongguk more that way."

"B-but.."  I rack my brain.  "Can we at least wait till.. Graduation?   After graduation?"

"Why?" Kai narrows his eyes.  "Am I really hearing this from you Iseul?   You're being stalked by a creepy weirdo and you're not bothered at all?!"

"Aish, I am!   Fine.  But what about your roommate?"

"I don't really care about your roommate."

"But I do!   She's my best friend!"

"If you insist, I'll talk to my boss about it.  Later."  Kai yawns and stretches. 

"Fine."  I mumble. 

"I have a looot to talk to him about."  He says silently, shaking his head.

"You really should sleep.  You sound tired."  I observe. 

"I slept a bit already."  Kai shrugs.  "I can handle it." 

"Okay then."  I say, focusing back to my work. 

"Iseul." 

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to go to the roof?"

"Huh? What for?"

"I'm about to show you something incredible."  He smiles mysteriously.

"Umm.. Sure?" I say, a little hesitantly.  "When?"

"Now."

I guess I've never really noticed how tall this building was.  But from the view that greeted me as soon as we reached the roof, I'm guessing like..... 40, 50 floors?  I don't know, but it sure is pretty damn high!

"Wow."  I breath, glancing around me.  I hug myself as the refreshing morning breeze greets us hello.  There's nothing much on the roof top.  And when I say nothing much, there's literally nothing much- not even a proper fence.  There's only a thin fence from a cord of wire around the perimeter, an emergency staircase beside the lift, and... Nothing else. 

"Kai!  How many floors does this building have?  We can see like, the whole Seoul from here!" I exclaim, spinning around.  "I'm ten feet taaaaalll~"  I sing. 

"Please don't start singing." 

"I'm tryin so hard not to let it shooooow, but you got me feelin like; I'm steppin on buildings, crossin roooaaadss, I swear I can touch the sky!" I sing, ignoring him.  Afrojack, anyone?  "Hey!   I think I can see my apartment there!!"  I point, jumping a little. 
 
Kai casually shoves his hands in his pockets and strides to the middle of the place, before sitting down.  I follow him and sit beside him, just far enough to make sure I didn't look like I was trying to get too close to him. 

"Do you go up here often?" I ask, throwing my hair back.

"I used to."  He shrugs. 

"Why not anymore?"

"No time.  I forgot." 

I swear to God, this switches on and off like a ing switch!   We're back to phase one, I see.  Short, choppy and expressionless. 

"So.. What are we doing here?"

"Look."  Kai nods at the distance, and I do.  My breath gets stuck in my throat a little.

Slowly, the golden star emerges shyly from behind Seoul's sleepy skyline, rising slowly like Venus from the sea, kissing the dusty blue sky yellow.  Dusk spilled over the horizon like an egg yolk, liquid orange, and the cotton-candy clouds leaked with streams of pink and red.  It all happened, somehow, in a slow, hypnotic, motion.  I raise my hand up with my fingers apart, letting the warm amber glow spill  over my palm, my face, my heart, and everything else it could touch. 

"Pretty cool huh?"

"It's really pretty and really cool."  I correct him.  I look at Kai and my heart hiccups a little.  The sun is shining down on Kai, illuminating his hair in the most delicate way possible, making it look like a soft brown halo.  The outline of his beautiful side profile is soft with a pale glowing. 

And he doesn't even try. He's just sitting there, hugging his knees, gazing straight out ahead at what he could see with a Monet sky behind him.  He doesn't even need a goddamn filter.

I clear my thoat and rip my gaze away.  "Have you ever brought Jongguk up here?!"  I ask, a little too high-pitched for my liking, as I try to steer my attention away. 

"No.  I think I've never brought anyone up here."

My inner goddess, as E.L. James would say, pops her head up a bit.  Should I be... Flattered?!  Yes!   I should!! 

A little giddy smile begins to stretch across my face and I quickly shake my head, stuttering for words so I'd stop smiling like an idiot.  "W-wow-- I mean, well, okay-- um, I feel very honored--"

"Don't get any funny ideas Seo.  It's just because you were the only one up."

"I know."  I snap, nudging him a bit. "You know what?  We should take Jongguk up here sometimes."

Kai looks at me, sideways glancing me, and it takes me a second to realize why.

I falter and quickly look away.  "A-ah, I mean, you should take Jongguk up here sometimes, and have like, father-and-son quality time, while I'll just-" wait, what the heck?!  "-prepare his stuff for school--"

Wait, what the heck?!! 

That came out so awkward! 

"You know what, I'm gonna shut up now so I hope you got my point." I mutter dejectedly, crossing my arms on top of my knees and resting my chin on top of them.  Trust me and my mighty mouth to make everything sound bad.

"Maybe we could."  Kai says simply, and I can't help but notice how he did say we.  "But I'm warning you.  Don't get used to talking in first person plural with me, Seo."

Dammit.  Kai never fails to shatter the mood.

"I know.  I forgot.  Sorry." 

I stare up at the sky and suddenly get a new idea.  "Oh, you know what?"

"Nope."

"You and Jongguk could go stargazing at night!   And camp out here in like a little sleeping bag or something.  You can sleep under the stars!!  Won't that be so cool?" I gush. 

"No.  What if one of us rolls off the roof?"

"But this is a big place." I gesture at the vast space around me.

"I'm not going to take my chances."

"Well, okay.  I already have another idea.  You could make a barbeque party here!!  Jongguk would definitely love that!" I clap my hands. 

"What if it rains?"

"So what if it rains?"  I sing.  "You can dance in the rain instead!" I clap my hands.

Kai looks at me and chuckles a little.  "Too much sun is evidently turning you into a ball of sunshine yourself."

"You could use a little sunshine yourself."  I reach out and squeeze his lower arm.  "Kaaa-chiiiing sunshine power!!!"  I sing, 'transferring' him some 'sunshine'.

"Wow.  That was so weird."

"There, be happy now."  I dust  off my hands in satisfaction.  And yes oh my God I know that was so weird Kai PLEASE SHUT UP BUT I FELT LIKE DOING THAT SO DON'T JUDGE ME OKAY? 

"Judging you extra hard right now."

"Just shut up and be grateful." I can feel my cheeks turning pink!!

"I swear to God you never cease to surprise me, Iseul.  Where do you even get your ideas?"

"Urgh."  I groan.  I totally regret doing that now.  Looking back, it really was a horrible idea!  Who did I think I was?  Winx Club?! 

"As much as I appreciate your noble act, I hope there will be no more sunshine transfers in the future.  Especially in public."  Kai says, still with a straight face, but I can see a smile in his eyes.

"STOOOOOP I don't know why I did that!!" I cry, covering my face. 

"Maybe you just wanted an excuse to touch me?" Kai wiggles his eyebrows.  I swear, if he keeps on doing that I'll shave 'em off one day!!  Then they'll be byebrows!  "God, I hope you won't start transferring sunshine to.. You know."

"Who?" I ask.

"Oh, just.. You know.. My.. Nine inches~" he sings, and my eyes immediately widen as I reach over to smack him.

"Stop bringing your little nine inches into everything!!" I shriek, embarrassed.

"LITTLE??  LITTLE?!!" Kai screeches, and he looks so genuinely insulted I had to snort a little despite his booming voice.  "Ms Seo, I am deeply insulted.  Do you even know how big and long nine inches is?!"

"This?" I hold up my pinky jokingly.

"Oh you will regret that, Ms Seo."  Kai growls huskily.

Holy .  That sounded so... ual. 

"This conversation ends NOW!" I declare, raising my hand up to stop the weird conversation and the rapid flow of blood rushing into my cheeks.   My inner goddess—as E.L. James puts it—is fanning herself-- I can tell!!  "Let's not continue to talk about your nine inches."

"So we're officially referring to it as that now."  Kai says with a blank face.  "At least you've acknowledged it!"

Woah there HOLD.  UP. 

Someone mind explaining why he's so comfortable with talking so freely about his to me now?? 

I shake my head. 

"You know what?  You are one mentally complicated weirdo and the topics you choose to talk about boggles my mind in a not-so-good-way, so I'm just gonna head back downstairs and study."  I harrumph.  "Thank you for the nice little intermezzo, but adiós!"

I stand up and begin walking back to the little building in the middle of the roof, where the elevator is.  I get in and quickly pres close, intending to leave Kai behind.  I'm starting to question my earlier judgements about him!!  Omo, what if Suzy is right?   What if he's sone creepy ert?!!  What if he actually owns a ion business?!!

I mentally knuckle myself.  Shut up, Iseul.  Study.

I reach over to press the P button-

Hey, where is it?!! 

Oh right.. we came up here with Kai's... Eyeball.. Scanning thing.. Which is kind of creepy but cool at the same time but! 

Now I can't go down myself cos I don't have my card with me. 

"Aish!!!" I groan.  This is like, walking back to a trashcan realizing you still needed the object you threw away!!   It's EMBARRASSING!  Now I have to go back to Kai.  So much for walking fantabulously away from him!! 

I press the open button again in defeat, and am immediately greeted by Kai's laughter.

"HAHAHAHA!!!" He laughs, watching me emerge.

I puff my cheeks.  "Go on!  Laugh!!" I swear, the only thing that seems to make him genuinely smile is my stupidity!! 

"Oh God." He breathes, still smiling.  "And you say I'm mentally complicated.  You're mentally short!"

"Kaiiiii that's whyyy let's go down so I can studyyyyy~" I whine, tugging on his sleeve.  I've humiliated myself enough-- I might as well just go all the way!

"Don't cross the line, woman." He glares at me a little, but still with smiling eyes.  I immediately retract my hand and he gets up and dusts his pants.  "Come on.  Let's go back down."

"Yay!" I cheer, following him. 

We head back down and go back to his penthouse apartment (lol do you even call it that) and I go back to my habitat, the couch. 

"Aaaaahhhh!" I stretch, yawning a little.  Hmmmm where was I?  Study study study... Gah!!  There's still the powerpoint!! 

"You'd better clean my couch up later."  Kai calls from the pantry as he makes himself some coffee. 

"Neh, sajangnim~" I sing, not really paying attention to him.  What did he say?  Oh, of course I'll clean it all up.  I always clean up! 

"Oh, and if you can't take Jongguk to school today because of your exam, that's okay.  I will."  Kai scratches the back of his neck a little sheepishly, and I hope the er is feeling regret.

"I actually can today.  My exam is at 1 in the afternoon so..." I shrug, my eyes glued on my laptop.  Funny, does all babysitting jobs go like this?  I mean, it sure is comfortable... Sort of family-ish! 

"Can you pick him up?"

"Not sure bout that."  I tap my pencil on my chin.  "I don't know how long my exam will take so I guess I'll text you." I shrug.

"Fine.  Just tell me if you need me." 

I stop writing for a while.  "I will." 

"To pick Jongguk up, of course."  Kai adds, narrowing his eyes.

"I know."  I reply, rolling mine.

So is this how having a family feels like?  You discuss domestic matters together, like who gets to take the child to school, and who can pick him up... Wow.  This babysitting job sure does give me a whole batch of new experiences! 

I go back to studying and don't bother engaging him in a conversation-- which I don'tthink he minds either.  I barely notice what he does as I go through my notes and stuff,  but Kai is somehow always somewhere around me-- making coffee for himself, clattering with something near the kitchen, reading the paper, stacking the past week's papers, and so on and so forth.  I slowly start to realize that I really am much more comfortable with Kai's presence now than back in the early days, when he used to yell every time he talked to me.  I think it's since I sort of saved Jongguk (after I let him drown).  Or because I haven't resigned yet after seeing how much trouble his kid can cause.  I don't know.  And if I may say, I think Kai is starting to accept me a lot more too, which is really good.  I ing cannot stand that snappy attitude of his which he used to display a lot. 

"I swear if you're really going to put a fat and ugly goldfish in my house you could at least keep the bowl clean!!!"  Kai barks, disrupting my musings.

Or maybe not. 

To my ultimate surprise, I look up for a second and see him feeding Hawaii.

"Whoa!! You're feeding it!  And I thought you hated it!" I point out excitedly.

"I do.  But Jongguk likes it.  He's going to make a scene if it dies.  And guessing from how its food packet hasn't moved for 3 days I'm guessing you've forgotten to do it?"

"Hehe." I shrug.  "I was busy." 

"Do clean the bowl."  Kai groans as he peers at the dangly strings of fish poo on the bottom of it.

"Okay."  Although I'm not quite sure of how I'm actually gonna do it without screaming in disgust. 

I suddenly remember something-- the fact that I haven't checked my phone in a very long time.  I reach for it and begin going through my messages and apps. 

"Is it okay?