The Bigbang members congratulated me on my stay and was happy to hear that they've made a new family member. "This deserves a round of drinks!" Gdragon said. Sarah and I exchanged looks of shock. We've never drank. Ever. I knew the day would come but I didn't think it would come so soon.  I panicked and tried to stop him but before I said anything he got the waitresses attention. "Excuse me! But can we get 4 bottles of soju?" She nodded and went of to get them.

~I'm not ready for this~ I reached behind Deasung and tugged on gd's his shirt. "Um Gdragon. That isn't really neccesary." Since drinking was so big in Korea I really didn't want to seem disrespectful... or weak. I felt like a total coward but if the drink was too strong I didn't want to spit it up on Seungri who sat in front of me. 

He smiled thinking he understood my situation and placed his hand on mine. "No worries. My treat." Obviously... He didn't understand. 

I looked back at Sarah with worry. "What do we do?" I mouthed. All she did was shrug her shoulders.

"Um. Gdragon?" She said trying to get his attention.

"Yeah?" He anwered.

"We don't..." She started. I shook my head at her trying to stop her. The last thing I wanted to do was give them disrespect. "I don't drink." She corrected. "Its agains my religion" I made eye contact with her and mouthed "Thank you" She nodded in understanding but had a hint of worry. He gave her a slight nod. My genes are made up of drinkers. 90% of my family were drunks. My mother and gradfather who are my blood refuse to see any of the addicted family members, which I totally understood. Them and a small percent of my other blood family were the only non addict people of my relatives. I was pretty sure I had a high chance of becoming and addict but I was also positive that I had a choice whether that would become a part of me. 

The soju came out and Daesung took a bottle and filled my shot glass then everyone elses after. I sat there and looked at it trying to put all thoughts beside me. Everyone, except Sarah, was taking down shots. I took a deep breath, in, then out, then I grabbed my shot glass and tipped it into my mouth. There was so much alcohol in my mouth I had to take the time to swallow it in parts. The liquid stung my throat as each gulp sent it down my esophagus. The taste itself was undescribable. It was nothing I'd ever tried before. I hated it, but somehow my glass got full again, then another shot was taken.

After a full bottle of soju I still felt fine, but the way Sarah was looking, fine was the last thing I was. The only thing that felt different was I felt emotional. Drinking made me think more about the days that had passed by. I didn't want to talk about it, but somehow the words just flowed out of my mouth. My head tilted to the side so I was looking at Daesung. "why.." my words slured "Why did you help me." ~Where am I going with this?~ I had no idea what I was doing or how to stop it. I was just as confused as Daesung who stared dumbfounded at me. "Why?" I repeated "Why? WAE!!" I hit his chest. 

"Tasha, You drank too much..." He brought his hand up to touch my rose pink cheaks but I slaped them away.

"Daesung... Kang Daesung..." Tears fell down my face. "Why are you still hear? Is it fun to play with me like this?" All the secrets that were bundled up inside of me started to escape withought my permission. "There are millions of girls out there, screaming for you, calling you oppa... Why me? Its impossible for someone like you to love a person like me. Someone so rich and beautiful to love someone poor and hideous. Why me? WHY?" My body demanded to know the answer though I didn't want to hear the truth. He was using me for pleasure. I knew he was. Then I'd have to head back home and hear the dreadful words of "I told you so" from my step father. 

I closed my eyes and put my head down. "I should get her to the Hotel." Daesung said. He knelt down in front of me and grabbed my two arms to throw them around his kneck then grabbed my legs and lifted me off the ground. Everyone looked at us with shocked. No one moved. They just watched as Daesung exited the resaurant with me passed out on his back. 

Half way to my hotel a slowly came to. "Daesung..." I mumbled. "Daesung..." 

He kept walking. "Tasha... Can you hear me?" He asked. 

"hm." I could understand his words clearly.

"Tasha..." He repeated. "You may think I'm crazy. I would understand. But... I've seen you before." 

"hm." I was really out of it but I wanted him to at least know I was listening.

He continued. "I.. I've dreamed about you. I think you're my gift from God." He chuckled then. "Crazy right?" 

I wrapped my armed tighter around his neck. Even then I felt like I wasn't close enough. "Daesung..."

He smiled. "What?"

"I like you... I like you a lot..." I was still drunk and out of it, but I knew exactly what I said and it was exactly what I attended to say.

He didn't say anything. The rest of the walk was quite. When we arrived to the hotel, he opened my room door and sat me on my mat that I was too lazy to put away. Obviously the maids don't know how to check on the rooms. He pulled the covers out from under me then placed them over me to warm me up. When he got up to walk out of the room I muttered  "Daesung... I'm sorry." 

He stopped for a moment with the door in his hand "Sleep well" He said.