A Little Past

After that night, it become a regular thing for me to sit in Yoongi’s room and listen while he worked. He used the excuse that I was probably going to eavesdrop on my own anyway, and he didn’t want a stalker. And, he was right when he said I would have.

And that’s how I found myself sitting in Namjoon’s chair again, watching as he edited his composition and wrote new lyrics. I learned that he not only wrote songs for himself, but for the others as well. He took pride in producing material they could use as their own. He hoped one day that at least one of them would make something out of themselves and accomplish their dreams - but at the time, it didn’t seem like it was going to happen.

It had been a total of two weeks since I realized how I felt about Yoongi, and it seemed to get even stronger the more I sat quietly, taking in how he worked. I thought it would have been awkward for me after figuring it out, but it turned out to make me more at ease being in the same room as him.

I only had the chance to observe him on days that Jungkook and the other’s weren’t there, since he refused to let anyone in on those days - and I couldn’t exactly ignore Jungkook and everyone else.

On a day that the others had gone out to do some grocery shopping and other little errands, Yoongi invited me in just like before. But, this particular time, my mind kept jumping all over the place and I began to wonder about things. So, instead of being quiet like I usually was, I kept asking questions every time one popped into my head.

“Why don’t you let the others hear you work?”

“Because I don’t like sharing things.” He sighed, putting his pen down on his desk and turning his chair around to face me. I could tell he was starting to get annoyed at me asking so many things, but the filter on my mouth needed to be replaced for some reason.

“But you let me. Why?”

“You’re different. And, I’m seriously starting to regret that decision.”

“How am I different?” I pushed, ignoring the way my heart jumped when he said those words.

“I don’t know. You just are. Now, can you leave me alone?” He rolled his eyes and started to turn back around, but I continued.

“You have to know. How am I different from the guys?” My curiosity had started to eat away at me, and I craved the answer.

“I just said-”

“And, I said you can’t not know.” I cut him off, which earned a glare. It stung a little since it was the first glare in a while, but I refused to back down.

“Because your presence doesn’t put pressure on me to be perfect!” He snapped, standing up.

After that, he stared at me silently, waiting for me to respond, but I was too shocked to form a coherent sentence. “Oh.” was all that came out.

He rolled his eyes again, finally sighing in defeat and