I don't get it, this feeling, I don't know what it is, I'm still the same Taemin but different. Well of course I'm different I died but there's something else, deep down, in my soul, like there's something missing.

I sat on the edge of my bed hugging my knees, tears started to roll uncontrollably down my face as I remembered the last few days.

I wiped my eyes on my pajama sleeve and went and got dressed. When I had finished i kneeled on the floor and pulled out a draw string bag from under my bed, as I opened it memories came flooding back. I pulled out my photo album that had all my memories up to date in and opened it to a random page. It was a picture of me and the rest of SHINee at my mum's birthday party a few years ago. I didn't realise then but that was probably one of the best days of my life. Being with those who I love and who care for me. I don't want to think about what would of happened to them if I had died.

My eyes became moist again but I blinked it away this time trying to control myself, I have to calm down we have an interview soon.

I put the album back in my bag. My hand touched something soft, I pulled it out completely confused.

It was a stuffed bear, the one I got on the day of my birth. My grandmother gave it to me. I can't believe I had forgoten about it, that's the problem with always being busy. You sometimes forget about those things that are important t you.

I pulled the strings of my bag and put it back under my bed. I got back up and walked out of my room with