Without thinking I downed the shot, cringing as the fiery liquid burned my throat. Nickhun handed me another one. I wanted to refuse but with Jaebum watching I had no choice. This time I nearly choked.

"Wow Youngjae! I'm impressed. Tonight's going to be fun after all." Jaebum winked. I could already feel the fuzziness of a buzz throughout my body. I felt pathetically happy from JB'S compliment, so I reached over and grabbed what appeared to be a glass of coke and soju.

"Jaebum!" I turned to see Suzy strutting towards us in a skimpy tight dress. By the way she slurred the name, I knew she was drunk.

"Suzy! It has been too long!" They hugged warmly.

"I know! Where have you been? I never see you at the JYP building anymore." She glanced over at me and grinned, "Well, I'm surprised Youngjae is here." I looked down at the floor. Jaebum put an arm around my shoulders, rubbing my arm with his thumb.

"Youngjae is a new man. He's not as uptight." It took everything inside of me not to say anything.

I wanted to say, "No, I am still uptight. I just don't want to get beat up again. I am so pathetic that I would rather get drunk and have JB show me some affection."

But I didn't.

Instead I remained silent, still studying the floor, listening as people came and went, and drinking whenever a glass was passed to me.

Jaebum left me a couple times to go dance. But otherwise he was right next to me, arm wrapped around my waist. It bothered me how much I enjoyed it. By 2 a.m. I was completely trashed. Jaebum had to basically drag me out of the club.

"Damn Youngjae. You're worse than me. C'mon there's a motel a little ways down the road." He held me close to his body, helping me walk down the sidewalk.

"Thanks." I mumbled, eyes drooping shut. Jaebum laughed in response. Once outside the motel, he sat me down on a bench.

"Wait here while I go pay." I nodded, looking up to see Jaebum looking exceptionally attractive. He left me alone with my thoughts.

" you Jaebum " I muttered, head spinning. This was the exact reason why I didn't drink before today. I have NO idea why someone would choose to feel like this.

A few minutes later Jaebum returned with a key card.

"Can you walk?" He offered his hand but I smacked it away.

"I don't need your help." I grumbled quite immature. Jb sighed.

"Fine be like that." I tried to stand up but fell back down onto the pavement, "Youngjae, let me help you. It's just down this alley." Before I could argue, Jaebum squatted and scooped me up bridal style.

"Yah! What are you doing!" I began to squirm, but he only tightened his grip.

"Helping you! God, you're cute, but a pain in my ." My face flushed causing Jaebum to chuckle, "Do you like it when I call you cute?" He teased, causing me to blush more.

"Just unlock the door! I'm tired hyung!" I whined.

"Note to self, never let Youngjae drink again." JB muttered to himself. Somehow he unlocked the door without dropping me. Switching on the lights, he sat me down on the bed.

"Now you know why I always stayed sober." I slurred, laying down and burying myself under the covers.

"Hey, leave some space for me." Jaebum groaned pushing me aside so he could get in, "Okay, you can come back now." I cautiously inched towards him until JB impatiently dragged me towards him, wrapping me in his arms.

Where did this Jaebum come from? I was worried about him beating me up, but instead he was cuddling with me.

"You're trashed right?"

"Yeah?"

"So you won't remember anything, right?"

"I mean, probably."

"Good."

That's when he kissed me.

I had been waiting for this moment since the day I had met Jaebum. But now that it was actually happening, my mind was blank. I just laid there limp, not kissing him back. He pulled away, a pout on his lips.

"Why aren't you kissin back? Didn't you want this to happen?"

"W-what? Yeah! I, uhm, I just wasn't expecting it!" I stuttered completely embarrassed.

"So this time you'll actually kiss me?" He purred, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

How many times is he going to do that?

I nodded bashfully. I closed my eyes and puckered my lips, waiting for him to kiss me.

When he didn't, I opened my eyes to find JB laughing silently at me, tears spilling down his face.

"Yah! Quit playing!" With an unexpected burst of confidence I grabbed Jaebum's face and brought it mine.

There was fireworks. Literally, someone set off fireworks that moment. And even though it is horribly cliche, it fit the moment perfectly. Butterflies erupted in my belly and a fire sparked in my lips. It was amazing. I finally resurfaced to breath and whimper escaped from JB'S mouth.

"I didn't realize you liked me that much." I slurred, winking.

"I like you entirely too much. But the thing is you won't remember any of this, so I can say that." He teased.

"I like you too." I whispered, a smile playing at my lips.

"If only we weren't idols, I think we could've been a good couple." Even drunk I could hear the yearning in his voice.

"Why can't we?" I whined softly, "Jackson and Mark are dating." Jaebum gently wiped my bangs from my eyes. My eyes were half closed, but I could've sworn I saw tears rolling off his cheeks.

"We aren't Mark and Jackson, Youngjae," He said mostly to himself, "I know you don't understand, but they'd never accept us."

I wanted to argue with him. To yell, beg him to think different. But a mix of exhaustion and alcohol whisked me off to sleep before I could say anything.

I dreamt of Jaebum. In my dreams we lived happily.