“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the final match of the school year where Gryffindor and Slytherin will do battle to see who can claim the Quidditch Cup and win bragging rights for their house!” Baekhyun boomed into the megaphone, startling the group of old professors sitting to his left. “I, the mighty Baekhyun, have been tasked with commentating on this match, because I did such a bloody good job on my previous outings, ain’t I right? Yes, yes. Can I hear an OH YEAH~?” A chorus of loud boos rang from the Slytherin end, led by one Oh Sehun. “You !” The Slytherin yelled, but Baekhyun merely rolled his eyes. “What’s that? Sorry, I can’t hear you over all the farting that’s coming from your .” He stuck out his tongue childishly. “I will send Monster to rip out that tongue!” Sehun threatened. Baekhyun withdrew his tongue immediately and scoured his surroundings for any signs of the said beast.

“Mr Do, I suggest you start your duties right away. The match is about to start.” Headmistress McGonagall prompted him and Baekhyun jerked upright before picking up the mic again. “Right, enough of that… As you all should know by now, my usual commentary partner is Park Chanyeol, who is also the beater of Slytherin house, which is why we have a replacement today… introducing, the fabulous, resting face, one of a- YAHHH” There was a loud screech from the mic for someone had wrangled it away from Baekhyun. “Ayo Whaddup. Name’s Kris, come and holler at me.” Kris swung his hands in the air and grooved in his spot. “You were supposed to come in after my intro. I had it all on a script, you idiot.” Baekhyun hissed; Kris ignored him completely. “This pairing won’t work,” Baekhyun did a cutthroat gesture at Professor McGonagall; “I’ll only commentate if it’s with my Channie next season.” The Headmistress looked as if she was on the verge of slapping Baekhyun with a stunner.

“Who do you think will win today, Baekhyun?” Kris shoved the mouthpiece in the other’s face. Ever loyal, Baekhyun screeched “Gryffindor!!!” loudly. “We’ve got the best three chasers in our team. The trophy’s ours!” Baekhyun roared along with the rest of his housemates. Kris hummed and gave his friend a sly face. “Well, my bet’s on the snakes… My homie, Chanyeol! Kyungsoo’s pretty dope as well. Can’t believe you’re choosing Gryffindor over your brother and boyfriend, mate.” Kris cackled. Before Baekhyun could mull over what the Hufflepuff said, players from both ends of the field came zooming out on their brooms. “Here they come!” Kris whooped. “Madam Hooch is releasing the golden snitch and boogers, and now, the waffle!” Baekhyun, along with half the school turned to stare at Kris. “What?” The Hufflepuff arched an eyebrow. “You play Quidditch yourself and you’re calling the bludgers, boogers, and the Quaffle, waffle? What the hell is wrong with you? I thought the bad names are Chanyeol’s specialty…” They heard the Slytherin yell an affronted “Hey!” from where he was hovering and swinging his bat.

“I’m just paying homage to my homie, yo. Krisyeol homies 4 life… ‘Sup” Kris did the peace pose, “And Luhan has the waffle for Gryffindor now!” Sehun jumped up in his seat and cheered loudly for his princess despite being given the stink-eye by plenty of other Slytherins around him. “What? What’cha staring at?” Sehun glared at them and waved his wand around menacingly. “Chanyeol nearly takes Luhan out with his booger.” Kris laughed. Sehun whirled around furiously. “What?!” He roared, “How dare you attack Lulu! He’s my boyfriend, you can’t just whack your boo-bludger at him.” Sehun screamed at Chanyeol who zoomed by. “But I’m your best friend.” The latter scowled, inciting a roll of the eyes from Sehun. “Hoes before bros yo! you.” The Slytherin whooped as Luhan flew pass overhead. “Go baby!”

“Now Luhan is looking to pass the Quaffle to his fellow chasers, but Amber’s marked tight… He opts to throw it to Kai but wait-” Baekhyun, along with the Gryffindor supporters groaned when the Quaffle bounced off the back of Kai’s head. “STOP STARING AT KYUNGSOO AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE GAME, YOU ING IDIOT!” Luhan screamed at Kai before racing off to stop the Slytherin chasers. “Best chasers you say…” Kris was guffawing loudly, “Look at Kai.” The said boy was hovering in mid-air and dazedly staring off into the distance where they could just make out the two faint figures of both team’s seekers. “BabySoo…” Kai giggled to himself as a lovesick look crept up his face; his broom was slowly inching towards the Slytherin seeker. “10 points to Slytherin! Good play from the chasers. Chanyeol is doing a good job in disrupting Gryffindor’s play.” Kris gave his homie a two-finger salute. “YES, BABY!” Baekhyun screamed before falling silent. Oops… He was supposed to be rooting for Gryffindor; Baekhyun grinned sheepishly, raising an apologetic palm towards the Gryffindor stands that had started to boo him.

“That’s it!” Luhan scowled and rushed towards Chanyeol; his mind wasn’t even on the Quaffle at this point in time. Amber, the remaining chaser, looked pretty much done with everything; she was flying solo and trying to break up the Slytherin chasers’ play all by herself because her two retarded team-mates were too busy doing something else. “Mad man on the loose! Mad man!” Baekhyun watched excitedly as Luhan reached out to grab the other end of Chanyeol’s beater bat. “Cat fight!” Kris cackled as they watch the two wrestle for the bat. “Give it here!” They heard Luhan yell before taking away Chanyeol’s bat and whacking the said boy with it. Kris had to hold Baekhyun back for the latter looked as if he was about to go over and rip off Luhan’s hair for what he was doing to Chanyeol; of course, Sehun was positively glowing with pride. “Go Lulu! Whack those balls!” The Slytherin even cackled loudly in Baekhyun’s direction.

The professors seemed at a loss as to what to do with the sudden turn of events, or perhaps, they found it slightly amusing and that’s why they sat back and watched the drama unfold. “Awesome match we have here, aye?” Professor Longbottom smiled at Hagrid. “Damn right!” The half-giant cheered before howling with laughter as Chanyeol leapt across and onto Luhan’s broom, the latter proceeding to choke the Gryffindor with his lanky arms. While everyone was distracted with the catfight down below, there was an entirely new drama playin