A/N: Check out my new fics! To Build Our Family and Dawn of the Dragonriders. Thanks everybody <3

[M] Not for , but I did make some reference (?) so i'm just gonna put an [M] here JUST IN CASE. 

“Kris?” Before the said man could reply, Tao squealed and hid behind his hands. “What is he doing to her?” The muggle-born, who was well aware of what kind of movie 50 shades of grey was, turned to his boyfriend with a highly suspicious look in his eye.

“What do you mean, Taozi? He’s just kissing her…” Kris feigned innocence. The Hufflepuff looked towards the big screen again, only to let out an even louder shriek at the scene that was playing. That of course, incited rude glares and shouts of “Shut up!” from erted men wishing not to be interrupted by shy innocent squealing schoolgirls during their racy daydreams.

Kris chucked a couple of popcorn at them in revenge for Tao. “I don’t like this movie, Kris…” Tao whined and tucked his head at the crook of Kris’s neck. Mission accomplished! Kris chuckled internally and pulled Tao closer. I’ve always wanted to have y times at the theatre… His dirty thoughts of his boyfriend got interrupted when Tao whacked him on the head. “Stop groping my , Kris!”

Kris huffed and started to Tao’s thighs instead. “Can we leave? I don’t like this movie… it’s making me feel weird down there…” Tao whined into his neck. For a moment, Kris was wondering what the hell his boyfriend meant by that. Finally, he got it. OH! OMG! He couldn’t stop his eyes from trailing to look at Tao’s crotch. *Cue internal happy dancing

He cleared his throat and shifted his eyes away before he lose control of himself and jump his boyfriend right there and then. “But I like this movie, Tao… besides, Suho and Lay are having a great time as well.” Tao followed Kris’s finger that was pointed at the familiar couple a few rows in front of them.

Even a partially blind man could see that Suho was growing increasingly red in the face as time passed. His boyfriend, Lay, on the other hand, looked impassive despite the drawn-out moans and y grunts that were starting to emerge from the surround-sound. “What’s wrong with Lay?” Kris thought. No one could look that emotionless or uncaring whilst watching the leads of the movie going at it.  

“I think he’s sleeping with his eyes wide open again…” Tao whispered into his ear. Oh… right. Since Kris, Tao and Lay, all shared the same room back at the Hufflepuff dormitories, there was once when Kris and Tao came back to their room, only for Kris to scream banshee-style at the sight of their roommate levitating upside down with his mouth and eyes wide open. Lay had some interesting sleeping habits, that’s for sure.

They stayed for a while more before Tao couldn’t take it any longer and decided to make a run for it. Of course Kris chased after his boyfriend with a loud, “Babe? If you’re too shy I can lend you the books to read. I HAVE ALL THREE VOLUMES… IN MINT CONDITION!” His loud shout jolted Lay out from his deep sleep. Noticing his own boyfriend’s discomfort, Lay patted Suho on the arm and leaned towards the other’s ear, “Are you okay, Suho? You’re really red in the face…”

Yes, it’s because I can feel your hot breath on my ear and it’s driving me crazy… Of course Suho kept his thoughts to himself. “Erm… it’s just, this movie is kind of inappropriate for me. I guess, after Kris and Chanyeol introduced us to Disney princesses in our first club meeting, I’m more of a cartoon animation kind of fan than a *coughs* mature content movie enthusiast… you know what I mean?”

Lay looked towards the screen, blinked slowly, and then turned back to Suho. “Oh, I once saw two unicorns going at it… and trust me, this is nothing in comparison to that. We can leave if you want…” Suho froze at his boyfriend’s words. Unicorns? Going at it – OH MY GOD – I do not need that mental image! Eww… “Yes, let’s go please. I feel like puking now.”

Chen let out another happy sigh as he watched Xiumin stuff yet another dumpling into his mouth, his two cheeks puffing up to great volumes to accommodate all that food. Awww… look at my cute Baozi. I’m full just watching him eat… The Ravenclaw that was still devouring dimsum by the platefuls remained unaware of his boyfriend’s intense stare.

A low growl from his stomach alerted him to his own hungry state; apparently, the ‘I’m full just watching him eat’ was merely a figure of speech. Chen was just about to reach out for the last sesame bun, when Xiumin clamped down onto his wrist with his right hand, before shooting out to capture the bun and shoving it in his mouth to join the rest of his companions with his left. The table was rid of any food in a matter of split seconds. Chen’s jaw practically unhinged from his skull. He hadn’t even gotten anything into his mouth since when they first walked into the restaurant.

“Hey! I wanted that, Minnie!” Chen clutched his head exasperatedly. Immediately, the other boy’s lips jutted out into a pout and tears started to form in the Ravenclaw’s eyes. He looked one second away from crying because someone decided to be a meanie and yell at him. All he ever wanted to do was to eat. Is that considered a problem?

Having realized that his boyfriend was this close to wailing in public, Chen hurried to apologize. ! “Oh no no no… I didn’t mean to yell at you, Minnie. Don’t cry, please… here, I’ll order some more buns for you, okay?” Chen turned away and yelled out orders for another couple of plates. Xiumin grinned slyly and discretely swallowed the rest of the food still in his mouth. When Chen turned back around, his pitiful face was back on show. Xiumin had some interesting ways of ensuring that he was constantly fed with baozis, that’s for sure.

It was after one hundred unsuccessful attempts later, did Chen manage to swipe one bun and shove it into his mouth before his boyfriend could stop him. “Aye, isshnt tat Kae, Wuwu and Beacon?” Xiumin pointed at the windows. Chen looked towards where the other was pointing, and lo and behold, there they were, three guys looking utterly dejected and who were bickering at each other grumpily.

Chen walked towards the entrance of the restaurant, poked his head out, and yelled for the attention of the three Gryffindors. “Kai! Luhan and Baek… what are you guys doing?” He hollered. The three turned collectively, glanced at one another, before stalking towards Chen and pass him, into the restaurant.

“Stupid giant” Baekhyun growled. “Stupid Knight, not protecting your Princess Lulu…” Luhan scowled. “I can’t believe BabySoo ditched me for that two es…” Kai whimpered and slumped into the seat beside a Xiumin who was still munching on some buns. Chen followed after them, ushering Baekhyun and Luhan to occupy the seats beside his, before settling down. The three Gryffindors looked horrible, and judging by the absence of a certain Chanyeol, Sehun, and Kyungsoo, it seemed like those three were ditched by their boyfriends.

“You poor things…” Chen cooed fakely, whilst Xiumin was kind enough to pick up a bun and offer it to Kai, in an attempt to comfort him. “Bun for you?” He tilted his head cutely. You can never go wrong with buns. Kai glared at the offending piece of food. Damn you stupid sesame bun, you look like you’re mocking me. He was about to reject the Ravenclaw’s offer when Chen stopped him from committing the worst mistake of his life. “Hurry and accept, you idiot. My Minnie isn’t going to offer twice. You either take it now or starve and live the rest of your life, Baozi-deprived…” Chen leant across and whispered into his ear, urging him to take it before it’s too late.

Oh… Immediately, Kai reached out and grabbed th