Chapter 11: I Trust You

“She seems nice.” Taeyeon told Baekhyun—referring to the girl they bumped to—the moment they got to their condo unit after a night-out for dinner.

They’ve been living together in a condominium for quite a while now but no one outside their families and closest friends knew about it. It wasn’t easy keeping it a secret since he’s still got tons of fans (or sasaengs) following him around like shadows. It also took them a long time to finally speak up about living together because they weren’t sure if one is in favour of the big step they’re about to take. It is a big step and a big deal. There’s nothing grand to where they live but they’re happy and content. A dining area, kitchen, living room, two bedrooms—one spare in case we get into a fight, they both laughed at this even though they haven’t fought or anything—another room they used as a walk-in closet, a laundry room and three bathrooms (one in each bedroom and one for guests).

“Oh, she is actually very nice.” He replied with a glint of amusement in his voice. Taeyeon listened and watched him intently while he got busy taking his shoes off. They bumped into a certain someone while they were leaving the restaurant. The girl was Baekhyun’s ex-girlfriend from high school, the ex-girlfriend who was the one responsible for ending their relationship back then but no hard feelings for both parties. In fact, from what Taeyeon had seen, the atmosphere around them seemed to be pretty good. Baekhyun was nice to introduce her as his girlfriend although the introduction got debunked when his ex said “I know. You two were pretty much all over the news.” Taeyeon had laughed at that… awkwardly. She didn’t bother when they had a little chat and she was standing there like some spectator waiting for some train wreck to happen or better yet, a comet to land on earth or something from outer space that would lift her away from the two. She doesn’t want to be a jealous girlfriend and she trusts Baek. She’s the one he’s currently dating and currently living with. That’s something. Besides, the encounter was long over and it’s just the two of them now. “She even asked if I have time to talk and catch things up.”

Now that had her senses perked up. “Really?” Taeyeon asked in her normal tone but her inside wanted to say it in a loud voice. She had to remind herself that jealousy is such an ugly thing and there’s nothing for her to be jealous about this. They’re friends and nothing more. “So what did you say?”

“I told her that I don’t think it’s a good idea. Seeing in public with another girl aside from you, I mean. We don’t want another headline about us.”

“But you’re considering it, right?” The words came out before she could stop herself and her voice had an edge to it even though she didn’t mean it. That had Baekhyun surprised.  Taeyeon pursed her lips and looked down to hide her blushing cheeks. Okay, why did I just say that? She mentally wanted to curl and hide because she even if Baekhyun’s not in her range of sight, she can feel him staring at her as if she has grown two heads. Taeyeon distracted herself by playing with the ends of her hair. It was silent and she didn’t know if she should be thankful for it or dreading that he hasn’t said anything.

“Taeyeon?” Oh. He called her by her real name. It’s usually Tae or Taeng or Taengoo. She looked at him only to find him slightly grinning. “You’re not jealous, are you?”

“No. No reason for me to.” She gave him a smile and kept her voice even. But honestly, she shouldn’t be jealous. He’s with her, right? So she shouldn’t be worried about it.

“Really?” She nodded earnestly yet he sounds unconvinced with her answer. “So it’s alright with you if we talk like you know, call and text or even chat?”

That got her attention. “What? You two still have contact?” She knew there’s nothing wrong to get reacquainted with an old friend but this one… this one was an ex-girlfriend. And even though the girl’s pretty harmless to their relationship, she can’t hide the uneasiness she’s feeling inside.

“We exchanged contacts during the night at the restaurant. Didn’t you notice?” He replied calmly. Of course she didn’t notice. She stayed a good short distance away from them. Taeyeon may be the girlfriend but that time, she didn’t want to interfere because she doesn’t want to look like a clingy or possessive girlfriend.

“No, I didn’t.” Taeyeon said quietly. This was truly getting uncomfortable for her so she decided to change the subject before Baekhyun could talk about it. She started talking about what they should do tomorrow. That seemed to change the mood. Baekhyun had his attention to their current subject.

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Taeyeon couldn’t sleep that night. She moved around side to side that made Baekhyun hold her in his arms to stop her from moving too much. There were times before that she moves around a lot because of nightmares or negative stuff that occupy her mind and Baekhyun would always hold her like what he’s doing now and then she would feel safe and relaxed. This time, however, there’s no sense of calmness that settled. Instead, she stiffened and her mind’s still racing with thoughts of him and his lady friend. Taeyeon peeked at Baekhyun’s face and saw him sleeping and his breathing was even so she quietly and carefully slipped away from his hold and got out of bed. She needed to breathe and clear her mind off of the unwanted thoughts. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand and it was still 11 PM. Not that late yet.

She made her way to the living room and watched some TV. She wasn’t paying attention to the show that was airing. Thoughts of Baekhyun and the girl circulated her mind once again and she hated it. She hated the doubts that have been on repeat in her head. Why would she doubt him? Baekhyun has proved to her so many times that he loves her and he even gained her trust way before they committed themselves into this relationship and he didn’t disappoint her one bit. So why would this be a problem now especially when they just bumped once? She shouldn’t be minding them talking via-text or call, too. She has guy friends and Baekhyun didn’t mind because he trusts her as much as she does to him. But there’s a part of her that can’t hide the little hurt she’s feeling. When they were on their way to their apartment, Baekhyun talked about her and their relationship with a smile on his face. He looked and sounded so happy. A part of her wondered if he ever talked to his friends about her with a smile and enthusiasm like that. But then, he probably doesn’t talk a lot about her because even though their relationship has been revealed to the public a long time ago and they didn’t appear that often on news articles, there were still people who would talk crap about them and it always ends up to someone hurting either them or another person from the masses. Both of them don’t want their names to be dragged around the mud again.

Taeyeon pictured the two of them together, Baek and the girl, and how they actually look good together. She can’t deny that especially when they were both smiling at each other but as selfish as it sounds, Baekhyun wasn’t smiling the same kind of smile he shows her so that one made her happy for a bit. Taeyeon slapped her forehead because a headache’s about to come since she can’t stop thinking about it and it only results to her heart aching. She sat there on the couch for a while, the TV is still on, no plans of going back to the bed she shared with him just yet.

She heard footsteps coming out of their room and she knew that Baekhyun woke up only to find her gone from his side. “What are you doing?” He asked. She turned her attention to him and he was looking at her with worried eyes.

“Watching TV.”

“You don’t look like you’re watching.” She shrugged, what else is there to say? Oh I’m actually here because I’m so bothered by the thoughts of you and your ex-girlfriend from a long time ago. There’s no way she would say that. He took a seat and wrapped an arm behind her shoulders and pulled her close to his chest. She buried her face against his shirt. Her heart’s beating fast and the ugly images start to pile up again. Why do they always show up? It’s not like I want them. “You okay?”

“I just have a lot going on in my head. Thought I needed to get up and watch some TV to clear it off but it seems like it’s not working so… here I am.”

“What happened? Look, if there’s anything bothering you, you know I’m here in case you need to talk about it.”

She smiled at that and the heavy weight in her chest seemed to have been lifted up a bit. His words once again reminded her of why she fell in love with him in the first place. He’s always there to listen and to lift her mood up when she’s down. Taeyeon kissed his cheek. “I’m alright now.” It’s true. The weight of her thoughts hasn’t left her completely just yet but the sense of comfort Baekhyun’s offering her now was enough to put her at ease.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Alright then.” He lifted her off from the couch and she let him carry her to their room.

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Days have passed since that night and Taeyeon’s uneasiness finally died down. Well, not completely but it’s getting there. He hasn’t talked about her nor even mentioned her name. Taeyeon knows that this jealousy inside