[Rv] The Dandelion
❂ The Forgotten Phoenix ❂ : Review + Advertisement Shop
by azxema
slice of life
sometimes the things that are ugly on the outside didn't necessarily ugly inside.
and sometimes, one need someone to see that.
And Kim Jongin is that person to Woojin
Title: 9/10
I thought the title was simple but thoughtful. It definitely summarizes the story well.
Story Description: 8/10
I love the poem and the extract you put in there. It really made me want to read more. My only concern is that its not really a description. What you sent me in the review request (above in the this chapter) was.
Graphics: 5/5
Grammar / Vocabulary: 15/20
The vocabulary was amazing. The usage of descriptive words was simple yet it gave me a clear image. The grammar on the other hand needs work. There were some sentences that needs to be changed because the wording of it was not understandable. There was a few sentences where the tenses switched back and forth. The punctuation marks needs to be fixed too.
Story plot: 24/25
Based on a little flower, the story tells so much. I could tell everything was well thought out. The meaning behind the entire fanfic was also very nice.
Not part of the grade but the title of the chapter, "mea flosculus," was hard to understand. I understand that it means little flower but I suggest you change the title. If you are going to keep mea flosculus, then bring the word up somewhere in the chapter.
Characterization: 9/10
From the beginning to the end, you can see how Woojin's personality changed. At first she was a loner who was rebellious, but then she turned into this person who was at peace and happy. The only thing that annoyed me was Jongin. I get that he majored in Phycology, but just like Woojin, I was creep out as well on how he knew everything about her to the every last detail.
Creativity: 10/10
I thought it was creative to bring the idea of a dandelion into the story. Without it, this fanfic would just be a cheesy romance story that everyone already read. However the dandelion brought everything together.
Overall Enjoyment: 9/10
Overall Grade: B
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