Thief [M] by DefameMe

Genre: Romance, Angst

Description: In Seoul, Korea, a fantasy/steampunk city, people were dealing with a strange unknown disease, The Morbus they called it, which was "sickness" in latin. Whoever was sick was experiencing first fatigue, loss of appetite followed by a deep sleep before turning into the worst enemy known to humanity which they named Gravatus who was the latin name for "sick". Those who turned first had been captured and left on the capable hands of the best science men they could get. While mostly everyone thought that was God's punishment for them or a new unknown disease some were quick to assume that it was in fact an experiment where they were the lab rats. Those who admitted that in public were either imprisoned or made missing.
The pharmacy industry demanded more and more money from the people just to give them get pills that would make them immune to the disease for a short period of time. The pills were becoming more expensive as more of them got ill. That was when someone took action.

Title: 7/10

The title was a little too simple and vague? A one-worded title does give the readers a sense of mystery but it also doesn't give the reader enough information about the story itself. 

Story Description: 8/10

Well the description really pulled me in. Opposite to your title, your story description was too lengthy for my liking. I don't think you need to add, "who was the latin name for 'sick'" or "which was "sickness" in latin." If you do keep the description the same (since it is your choice. I'm just the reviewer), then my advice is to reword the sentence differently.

Character Description: 0/0

No character description. This will not be included with the overall grade. 

Graphics: 5/5

Grammar / Vocabulary: 23/25

The vocabulary was fine. There were some slight errors in the story; just small ones that could be easily fixed if you read it over again. 

Story plot / Content: 20/25

The "choose your adventure" style of this fanfic really made me interested. However I thought that the two views would be more different. When I read Kai's route and then Leo's, they seemed similar. I don't know if the fanfic was designed that way but if the readers choose to reread the fanfic with a different route, I don't think that they will be impressed. Another thought that I have is when the plot will pick up to the storyline that the story description told me. The first few chapters should give the reader the main idea of the plot or else they will lose interest. 

Each route had only three chapters so this story plot grade may not be accurate. Hopefully future chapters will be better. 

Overall Enjoyment: 16/20

A side note that I would like to add was the organization of your story. It was all lumped together in one big paragraph, which made the fanfic hard to read. Another thing is on Chapter 2.B., where the continue button lead me to Chapter 3.A. which is Leo's Route. 

Overall Grade: B