Deep Breath

by dhaatk

Kim Jongin was just a hard-working dancer, who tried to come up with a spectacular choreography. Little did he know, what the dance routine would unleash inside of him.

Title: 9/10

The title had a mysterious feeling too it. Deep Breath is also EXO Kai's solo dance right? So I'm just going to assume that it's going to be about him. 

Story Description: 10/10

Just like the title, the description had a dark feeling. I can just imagine Kai dancing gracefully and then turning into this wild animal. Not a lot of information was given, but enough to make the reader wonder. 

Graphics: 5/5

The first word when I saw the poster was "whoa."

Grammar / Vocabulary: 18/20

It was near prefect grammar except for a few little things that could be easily fixed. When I mean easily, I really do mean easily. First there was some misspelled words that floated around. Another thing that was just bothering me was this awkwardly worded sentence. You wrote "As Jongin heard the ongoing devilish laughter and soft mumble of frustration, his body was jerked down to the floor by Dumah ...." I think it would sound better if Dumah was stated first like, "Dumah jerked his body down to the floor," so it gives Dumah a more powerful image. 

One thing that I do love is the imagery you put in here. I can clearly see every detail of Kai's dance and the struggle he has to keep his soul. Seriously. When I watched Kai's dance, I'm thinking about your story and how you described him prefectly. 

Story plot: 23/25

The story had suspense that pulled you in. Although that story was slow, it felt like something was waiting in the shadows for the perfect moment to strike. 

Characterization: 10/10

Creativity: 10/10

A story based off a dance? I was so excited because I never heard of plot before.

Overall Enjoyment: 7/10

Overall Grade: A