A/N: SOZ NOT SOZ BUT THERE ARE A COUPLE OF GIFS AND PICS IN THIS CHAPPIE ^^
also you should probs watch the two short vids cause u'll know why if you watch them :-)

It was a lonely day for lonely Kris when he decided he would finally un-lonely himself. Although he’d consider his iPhone his other half, many others wouldn’t, therefore he chose Siri to be his electronic wingman.

“Siri, how do I find my other half?”

Sign up for eHarmony Krease.

“OK! Siri, please sign me up for eHarmony.com”

I have filled out your details Krease:

Name: Oo Ee Faane
I’m a: woMAN
Seeking a: uglay hot person
Postcode: 6996
Profile Picture: 

“Um Siri it’s Wu Yi Fan, I’m a Man and MY POSTCODE SHOULD NOT BE LEAKED. That profile picture is quite a fine sight though.”

Sorry Krease, I’ve already clicked the ‘Give It A Go’ button.
Also, you have 1% battery left, goodbai loser~

Kris facepalms himself and the phone before slamming the expensive device onto the floor. He wanted to cry a river now as his other half is now on lying on the cold, hard ground. Then Kris remembers it’s the KRISmas period meaning a new cell phone for him! Meh who cares then, so Kris began smashing the iPhone with a baseball bat.

That is how Siri’s life came to an end.

After his deadly iPhone workout, Kris hopped onto his laptop logging into eHarmony. He was praying that after he logged in he could change his details. Unfortunately for some odd reason he couldn’t, he ended up crying on the floor before a beeping sound came through his computer. 

Jo Kwon has requested a date with you Oo Ee Faane!

Message from Jo Kwon: I can be your oolong milk tea, Oo Ee Faane! What smoking hot female salmon you are! 

Brian Joo has requested a date with you Oo Ee Faane!
​
Message from Brian Joo: Hey gurl, I can make you moan 'oo' in bed easily with my baking skills ;)

After realising these two lovely looking ladies were actually looking for women, Kris decided to do what a normal person would do. He YOLO-ed and accepted these two ladies making both their dates with him on the same day, at the same time. They probably would turn straight again after realising how handsome Kris was anyways.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was D-Day and whilst most people on their first dates would feel nervous, Kris was as confident as ever. His confidence was shining so brightly that even SHINee had to come see who was outshining them. Pabo Kris believed SHINee were also beautiful women who were in need of him. Therefore, he hands them his number before leaving behind a cocky phrase.

All of SHINee facepalm before gangster-ly posing for the paparazzi.

MISSION COMPLETE! No one outshines SHINee!

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been 24 hours since Kris has been waiting for his two ladies to arrive. Whilst looking like a hobo, he starts to sing to ‘24 Hours’ by Sunmi and also starts crying as time boils the rain. Finally his two precious women show up fashionably late.

“YOU’RE LATE YOU SKINNY HOES. YOU AIN’T MY STYLE ANYWAYS, NAH MAN  YOU KNOW WHAT? CHICKS AIN’T MY STYLE.” Kris storms off as his happy days have gone bad. He leaves behind a shocked Brian Joo and Jo Kwon.

^{(You may wanna watch these videos down below cause they define why Brian Joo & Jo Kwon are amazing. Also because the statements they say will sound funnier…I think?)}

Once Kris is out of sight, both ‘feMALES’ start screaming with pure hatred to devoted to Kris.

“OH NO YOU DIDN’T. NO, DON'T GIVE ME THAT ATTITUDE!  LOOK I’M BEAUTIFUL AND YOU SO PITIFUL.” Brian Joo has officially gone Gaga.

“I have a . KYA JINJA! ! ! LIKE A BIG HURRICANE ,” Jo Kwon has officially gone cockadoodledoo.

Then the two divas left their normal lives to become drag queens together, forever. 

~~~~~~~~~~

What no one knows though is that Onew had cloned himself so the fake Onew was with SHINee. The real Onew was actually hidden behind a bush stalking his oppa. If his precious oppa’s style wasn’t chicks, he was sure CHICKens would be. He was very sure. So sure that he started pulling a jelly made chicken flavoured knife out of his pocket and started it. Slowly, up and down, up, down, then down he goes back into the bushes.

~~~~~~~~~~

After the fail date with both uglay ladies, Kris decided to deactivate his eHarmony account.

He laid down on his bed, thinking about all the things that happened today. He suddenly felt aroused at how handsome he was and how perfect his OOTD (Outfit of the Day) was, but then an image of those two women popped into his head making his stick go limp again. Kris sighed before closing his eyes falling into deep sleep. That day, he never really got to spank his monkey. 

Whilst Kris was sleeping, we have a normal looking guy sitting on a chair staring at the latter. Uh, maybe he ain’t normal but um, fine he’s a saesang fan of Kris, what else is needed to be said? It was indeed Onew, sitting on a rocking chair swaying side to side, left to right. Ah, poor Kris.

Onew kept staring into Kris’ soul before finally creeping into his room. He crawled like a cat to Kris’ bed before pulling the other’s legs. Inch by inch, Kris was slowly being pulled out of his own bed. Onew his lips as Kris’ whole body landed with a big bang onto the floor. Damn was Kris a deep sleeper!

Onew started pouring his white liquid strings of goodness onto Kris. Yes, Onew’s special stringy white powdered chicken batter! He wanted Kris to be deep fried alive. It'd be the best chicken Onew would've ever tasted.

Kris slowly wakes up as he feels something drizzling down his clothed body.
“WOAH WHAT THE HOLY MOLY IS THIS ?”

Onew wickedly laughs before he ties Kris to a pole which somehow came to appear in the room. The room suddenly changed and now Kris was tied to a pole that was on top of a deep frying non-stick pan with oil sizzling.

“AHAHA MY PRECIOUS. YES MORE CHICKEN! CHICKEN! CHICKRIS! KRISCHICK! KRISKEN! IDK BUT CHICKEN!” Onew’s mouth watered at the sight.

“NO, CHICKEN IS NOT MY STYLE. LET ME GO, LET ME GO, THE OIL FILLED PAN BOTHERED ME ANYWAYS~”

~~~~~~~~~~

Kris suddenly wakes up with sweat dripping down his face. Tons of it actually, he also smelt like chicken. Maybe that was because of the chicken he ate two hours before though. Naturally he wiped the sweat off his face, smelt it then went back to sleep.

Little did he know there was a predator creeping below his bed. It was Onew down there with a very big frying pan…but he was sitting on a mini mini mini chair laughing his off making him fall down and die. ^{(Yes Onew, his frying pan & his chair manages to fit under Kris' bed somehow)}

#soznotsoz

~~~~~~~~~~

Kris then wakes up from having a dream inside of his dream. What in the world…

"Please Kris is my style," he states before falling back to sleep.

Little did he know a random stranger named Kris was staring at him through the window.

DUN DUN DUN DUN /evil music/. 

~~~~~~~~~~

In another dimension Kris' style isn't chicken so therefore Ken is sure Kris' style will be him, chicKEN. 

In the end Ken tranforms Kris into a chick with plastic surgery.

Kristina.

Now that was Kris' style. 

Admin Hope: Our fandom name is officially 'Oneshotters' unless someone comments a better name LOL
On the bright side the word 'hot' is in it meaning you peeps who like this fanfic are hot :-)
HAPPY EX-CHRISTMAS 

Admin : in which our subbies becomes hotties due to laughing (if this fanfic is actually funny) Lmao, LATE MERRY CHRISTMAS!